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Transformation or Death chapter 55

55 – Memory Recovery (1)

Today, as usual, he was just slaughtering monsters. I knew that it was not a very good sight for others to see, so I continued to act quietly in a dark place.

What is this?

Jaejoong Han had a headache.

“So… were the S-class monsters conspiring?”

“Wait, don’t get me wrong. I have nothing to do with them.”

A sudden uninvited guest came to this peaceful and peaceful daily life of slaughter.

Each one was fatal.

“It’s too much. We’re not in a similar situation.”

one weird guy

“Huh, it’s true. We’re not that close yet.”

One weirder than that.

“Really? Well, it doesn’t matter.”

One that makes this weird.

One by one, they were the ones who disturbed the peace of mind.

“It’s my job anyway.”

“Um… I’m sorry, but can you take a break today?”

Blue Sirius raised his sword. Botis swung his staff as if he would not lose. At the same time, blades of grass and ice moved.

They were like conductors of a band. Swinging a long, seemingly unrelated object made the grass and ice vibrate.

The vines that covered the back alley like swarms of insects lost their vitality and hardened as they met the icy fog. Part of the alley became the middle of the mountain in winter when the snow flowers were in full bloom.

“I guess you don’t think so.”

Botis rubbed his chin and made a troubled gesture. It was obscured by the hood, so I couldn’t see it properly.

“Comrade, there is something I want to ask you.”

“Jason, be quiet for now. And lady there? We didn’t come here with the intention of killing anyone. We just wanted to talk a little…”

“If it’s not today, it could be tomorrow. I can’t do it.”

“Help me find my purpose!”

“It’s a pretty violent idea. Do you think you can justify your use of violence by thinking only about the possibilities of the future?”

“I already know you’ve hurt people. Don’t sophistry.”

“hahahaha, I heard you.”

“Pursuit and achievement! A journey of beautiful adventure!”

Now, this place resembled the commotion of several human groups heard in a bar around evening. Bullshit and serious conversations mix here and there, and what eventually results is noise.

It is the good and lonely petit bourgeois who suffer from the noise. It was like that this time too.

Han Jaejoong held back a sigh, clutching his throbbing hair.

‘I haven’t been able to gather the starlight properly yet.’

It took a lot of fatigue to hit an enemy too powerful to defeat right now and someone too scared to face properly at the same time.

Progress on star activation was slow. Is it because the starlight kills only weak enemies little by little, or is this speed normal?

After activating one star, I still haven’t been able to turn on any additional stars.

So, of course, I couldn’t even find the pieces of my lost memories.

time waits for no one Even people don’t wait for people. It suddenly arrives before you are ready.

I tried imagining what I would talk about when I met Blue Sirius, but when our eyes met, all that was left was guilt and discomfort of a similar size.

The problem was that they met as a watcher.

she resents the monster The coolness of the ice represented her feelings now.

I can’t even reveal my identity.

Revealing her identity would make this complex relationship more comfortable, but on the contrary, she would only get a lot of discomfort.

It is different from the case of Red Vega.

In the first place, Han Jaejoong still regrets being caught by her.

If he had been a little unlucky, he would not have been able to carry a human face while remaining a thorough enemy of Red Vega.

Above all, she is still young and careless. If you’re not careful, there’s a good chance that someone will find out more.

Han Jaejoong hoped that Blue Sirius would not yet know his true identity. Neither he nor she was ready to accept it.

Blue Sirius’s mental pain is mostly caused by the character Han Jaejoong. Wouldn’t it only cause more pain if I revealed my identity?

However, after accepting that resentment endlessly, if she finds out later, how should she deal with it? can i do it

It was a question of a cycle in which a problem creates a problem.

‘I’ll turn.’

Literally, a question that goes round and round and bites its tail.

Ultimately, it was a matter of scarcity. If I had the strength and memory, I would be more confident.

The meeting with Blue Sirius soon led to a face-to-face reality. With a new awareness of how shabby and contradictory you are right now.

[Quest appears.]

It was probably not a coincidence that this kind of quest appeared when meeting her.

[Run away from Blue Sirius.]

Quests are immediate tasks that reflect the user’s ideals, psychology, and reality.

Now, that quest was Han Jaejoong’s heart that was clearer than anything else.

Perhaps this was Han Jaejoong’s heart that continued after the breakup.

confront the monster

Encourages growth while confronting magical girls.

But she is different.


He couldn’t be a watcher in front of Blue Sirius. He’s just a weak human with a stone letter in his name.

Jaejoong Han feels the desire to run away in front of a person named Seolhwa Yoon.

‘It’s miserable. It’s also unfair.’

It was his own business, but it was a contemplative attitude.

I know the outline of the life I lived, but I don’t know the whole of it. I know the past only as knowledge, not experience.

All know, some don’t. The puzzle has a framework, but no pieces.

Nevertheless, the lines stamped on the puzzle frame allow us to guess what should go into it.

That line was emotion.

There is no substance, but there are traces.

Feelings but no memories.

It was terrible.

Is this what it feels like to see a debt that has arisen without knowing why?

You have to avoid others with feelings that are hard to call your own.

How miserable and unfair is this.

I didn’t understand why he left so many feelings for her in the first place.

If each other missed each other, there would have been enough opportunities to see each other.

The size of the emotion was too huge to treat it as a desire to keep the beautiful memories of first love.

But there was no way to know.


Jaejoong Han weakly answered the quest’s instructions.

slowly moved forward. Botis and Blue Sirius were in the middle of a subtle confrontation. Her coldness was defended by Botis with vitality. It seemed that a full-scale fight would break out soon.

Jason continued to utter long-winded but no-nonsense words.

He was the most like him here.


Also, he was the one with the most useful power.



I grabbed him by the shoulder. The rhetoric without substance was cut off.

“Today doesn’t seem like a day anyway, so why don’t you get lost?”

Jason nodded, ending his lengthy imaginary epic.

“That’s great! Going on an unknown road is an adventure!”

Jason grabbed the long stick from his belt buckle. As he moved it like rowing, the air around him shook.



Botis laughed dejectedly as if caught off guard, and Blue Sirius was embarrassed, perhaps because it was his first time experiencing it.

Alkaid could not be used, but here was the power to enjoy a similar effect.

The shimmer in the air gradually intensifies. I look at the distorted light blurry like my vision when I fell into water.

The visions of the four gathered in the damp back alley shared a common confusion.

The front was not the front, and the ability to perceive space gradually faded. instead

“Oh, then I’ll give you this later.”

Botis waved his hand with a wry smile. There was a belt in that hand.

“See you again.”

You’re here to give me that? why? Jaejoong Han could not understand.

He was kind but suspicious at the same time. It was a kind of kindness that was dangerous to receive carelessly.

Botis soon disappeared.

“Then let’s meet again next time!”

After him, Jason said goodbye and disappeared. and last. Han Jaejoong looked for her and made eye contact with her even in the midst of his trembling vision like a person suffering from motion sickness.

“I wish you good health.”

“I hope you’re not well.”

After greeting Blue Sirius, everyone in the back alley disappeared.


[Quest completed.]

[I found a star.]

[Are you sure you want to activate?]

Before I could figure out where I had moved, a voice came from the belt. My head was dizzy from the aftereffects of getting lost, and I felt sick to my stomach from the aftereffects of the previous meeting.

“Uh… what?”

It wasn’t too strange to ask back without being able to hear what he was saying.



The problem is that the belt recognized this simple muttering as a sign of acceptance.

If the reward for the quest to defeat the monster is to steal the starlight the monster had.

The reward for quests that do not defeat other monsters is to strengthen the existing starlight.

As the starlight gathers and becomes clearer, the simple shimmering light becomes a more intense and formal light.

that’s the star

Coincidentally, it seems that this quest was the last key to activate the new star.

I was lucky in that it happened right after I thought I wanted to gain strength and memories.

It was unfortunate in that he was still going through mental and physical confusion and was not ready to face the memory.

Time and people do not wait for preparation.

So was the mechanism.

[I will activate the star.]


“Uh… are you serious?”

The reporter in front of me asked a question. He was one of the reporters I knew moderately because I often wrote articles on Blue Sirius.


“Are you going to fabricate the case?”

I responded calmly.

“Ah~ It’s not manipulation! It’s just a little bit of seasoning!”

The screen of the smartphone on the desk was moved to show the conversation in the mobile messenger.

It was a typical attempt at psychological dominance, with a mixture of profanity and a moderately friendly tone.

In that messenger, Seol-hwa was a pitiful victim, and I was the perpetrator who flaunted her status as a lover and used abusive language.

Adding a little manipulation makes this composition even more solid.

“Look. It’s here, here, and here. Put that together and voila.”

“We call this manipulation.”

“It’s a rearrangement. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, but what?”

“Are there any words that aren’t there at all? Look, swear here.”

“This is a device to increase the sense of immersion in the play.”

“Do you think this is a joke?”

“It would be nice if it was a joke.”

Some of the records contain actual conversations.

Of course, it was a device for recording and to make people fall in love, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t sincere at all.

I’ve had a lot of fighting with Seolhwa in recent weeks. Not only Seolhwa, but also often quarreled with his younger brother.

The nerves that had become extremely sensitive under the influence of the incident were enough to cause a fire with a little friction.

It wasn’t just the performance to get this record, but the emotional goal was actually hurt.

To be precise, I was tired of being stressed out because of the incident.

It was painful for a while to live as a celebrity’s boyfriend anymore.

As an acquaintance of a magical girl, I learned every day how painful that position was.

I needed some time to rest.

Time for each other to think of each other and deal with emotions.

In order to do that, it was necessary to close the case first.

It’s been almost a month since the incident happened.

The heat of the incident must have cooled moderately. If this is blown up, public opinion can be overturned.

The case can be closed by clarifying responsibility.

“So, you’re not going to blow this up? It’s a scoop.”

“Mr. Blue Sirius, of course, refutes the article…”

“I don’t. It’s a decision made after consulting with the association. Will they cut you before you pay? The monitoring will be intense for a while.”

That’s how I handed over to the reporter one last move to close the case.

I’ll take a lot of swearing in the future.

It’s okay though.

Besides, I have no intention of quitting the relationship at all.

Perhaps you feel the same way there.

After an appropriate amount of time, when the incident has cooled down and the emotional goal has been resolved, I will contact you.

He also left a letter.

I will live moderately well and then return. don’t worry too much

I thought so.

But it didn’t.

I had to move frequently because so many people came to visit me, and I had to change my number because the phone was ringing from time to time to see where it had been robbed. didn’t stop though.

I underestimated it. Out of fanaticism, out of fun, out of anger, and for various reasons, people pour out their malice, and I was fully exposed to it.

In the face of overwhelming malice, the existing resolutions became powerless.

It was something I was determined to do, but it wasn’t as good as I thought.

Still, I was able to endure moderately.

The Internet was something that had to be searched for, a cell phone that kept ringing was something to be destroyed, and a person who kept coming to the house was something that could be solved by abandoning the house.

Everything could be solved by compromise and distance from the world.

But still, the problem arose.

There was a crucial carelessness, but it was that there were more stupid people in the world than I thought.

“Are you Han Jaejoong?”

The assailant came with a kitchen knife and tape in one hand.

“You, you, you, you bullied my sister? Me, the bastard… the bastard…”

He was a man who seemed to be twice his age.

I couldn’t understand what he was saying.

I heard later that he was a psychopath. Was it delusion or autism? I do not know.

It was not very comforting news. By the time the police heard the news, he had already been stabbed in the stomach.

After meeting five or six more people like him.

I’ve become obsolete.


“What the fuck…!”

I’ll tell you the secrets of the belt and memories of fond dates.

I made the matter that I already know as knowledge into experience. Chills came from the raw horror, as if he had just experienced it.

“Crazy belt bastard… Even if I tell you, this… Fuck, fuck…”

The field of view narrowed. It is a common symptom experienced by people facing fear. It was also difficult to breathe. It was a symptom of hyperventilation. This, too, was a common symptom in people suffering from trauma.

Only then did I know where I stood. on top of a tall building. The rooftop is so high that if you lose your balance, you will die instantly. It wasn’t a very good place for someone who was in the middle of a trauma.

How far have you lost your way?

I tried not to lose my balance as I grabbed hold of my body, which gradually deviated from the normal.

He knelt down slowly and calmed himself down. If you move carelessly, you will die as it is. As I was slowly trembling and approaching fainting due to lack of oxygen, someone came down beside me.

“Brother! What, what, why are you doing this? Gwa, are you okay?”

A woman in light clothes approached, scattering pink light. I wanted to be a fairy because of that beauty.

Of course not. But they were infinitely similar.

“Breath! Breath!”

Pink Deneb, the little brother I just read about in a memory fragment.

It was Jo A-yoon.


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