81 – It’s not easy – 4

As Veronica entered without hesitation, Cecil looked at the rest.

“Hmm…”

“…what?”

The more they participate in this ordeal, the less the burden on the leader, the Sage.

In other words, isn’t it the same as how much pain you can endure for the sake of a sage?

If so, wouldn’t it be better to have someone who can do it?

So she smiled.

As if mocking the remaining two.

“Just. Well. I’m friends with the sage. The sage wants to fight the devil for me. As a friend, of course I should do this much. But you guys…”

Seeing Leventia clenching her teeth, it tasted like sesame salt.

Cecile struggled to hold back her laughter and took a step towards the shimmering.

“You still have a lot of painful memories, don’t you?”

flinch.

Leventia and Evangeline shuddered at Cecile’s point-blank words.

Do you have many painful memories?

said wrong

reality is painful

But the ordeal that stimulates it?

maybe take a big hit.

“So. Let him rest.”

Laughing softly, Cecile moved into the shimmer.

“Because this is ‘my’ job as a friend of the sage.”

Even though she was well aware that this was a provocation, Leventia could not stay still.

So she headed towards the ordeal with a rough pace, and Cecile smiled and followed Evangeline into the ordeal.

– under. Why are you even doing that?

Leventia clenched her fists involuntarily at the familiar voice she heard as soon as she entered the shimmer.

In front of my eyes was a beautiful woman with long bluish-white hair and a blunt face.

She tried to keep her expressionless, but in reality she was a woman who was imbued with nervousness and self-worth.

It was a deeply hidden emotion that no one knew about, but only Leventia knew what it was.

That would be too.

That woman glaring at the man in the white robe was Leventia herself.

– These are the words of those who were only stealing. Could there be anything more important than that?

I defeated a thief in the village and received his request.

His family is being held by bandits in Mount Lopian.

That’s why I had no choice but to make money as a pickpocket and pay the reward.

The demons gained strength and the continent was confused by the demon king.

To the extent that people who have lost their livelihood can only live like this.

There are so many people who sell their emotions like this even if they go to other places right now.

But you’re going to help someone who’s been stealing?

Maybe this person is trying to deceive themselves?

Leventia showed her annoyance at the sage’s attitude to do good anytime, anywhere.

It had to be.

Because he is not so merciful like a wise man, and he has no discernment to distinguish truth from lies.

– It’s necessary.

The expression of the sage who responded seemed dark.

Leventia was well aware of the reason why he had never lost his smile until he first started traveling.

– Because I was so weak… Last time in the village, I bought a lot of flowers for a girl who sells flowers at a high price. this time…

The sage slowly raised his head. I feel the light in those eyes getting weaker.

you shine brighter than me

you are better than me

you are more honorable than me

soiling you

My body trembles with the shady and humid pleasure as if dirtying white drawing paper that no one has touched.

– sorry. I still have to do this

– under. Then why don’t you go alone? No, wouldn’t it be better to just get out of the party?

stop.

– hahaha. okay. ‘Cause I’m going alone…

– It’s always like this. you. Pretend to be nice to yourself. pretending to know everything

stop it.

– Still, helping them will help us on our journey. On Lopien Mountain…

– You’re not even a warrior, are you? Stop talking bullsh*t? Tired of hearing you talk like you know it every time, every time, like it’s over our heads.

-hahaha…

– Did you get a disease that would kill you if you couldn’t help people? If your heart is that weak, train yourself!! I’d rather go to the cursed wilderness! If you go there, your heart will be strong!

I knew.

That the flower girl sells flowers at high prices to earn money for medicine for her sick sister.

And thanks to the information his brother gave him, he was able to destroy the secret weapon possessed by the devil’s subordinate.

I knew.

The author’s words are true, and the bandits of Mount Lopian are related to the devil’s subordinates, so if you don’t defeat them, the journey will be difficult.

I knew.

that helping them is the right thing to do.

Nevertheless, because of his ugly jealousy and lack of qualifications, he did not stop blaming him in order to turn away from himself who kept getting smaller in front of the wise man.

As a result, the sage was gradually losing her light, but it didn’t matter too much to her.

please.

Please stop.

The sage is for all of us.

So please.

However, Leventia’s cry did not reach the illusion.

After that, the selling continued, and the wise man who endured eventually spoke in a tired voice.

– I’ve been to some places, but I’d like to take a break from the journey for the time being.

The sage looked tired and looked tired.

I knew that.

But what did I say?

– What?! Stop talking nonsense! You have to stop this journey because of your circumstances?! If that’s the case, get out of the party!!

Anger flared up.

In fact, I wished it would be farther away.

Feeling a sense of entitlement that he was by his side, he was endlessly humbled, hoping that the wise man would distance himself even a little.

In the desire to defile him even a little more, he scolded him until the wise man left.

Ahh. Why?

Why didn’t I catch him as he left wounded?

It is you who did wrong

Why did you only hurt him?

“Ah… you… you…”

Even the moment you leave.

When he returned with a haggard face on the verge of collapsing but left with a smile on them.

Hyeonu was different from the old Hyeonu.

It seemed that he had become strong enough to laugh softly despite being scolded and criticized.

It has changed to the point where I can ignore even the support they give me sometimes.

Leventia felt like her heart was going to break.

Why did he not notice that the sage was so crowded that he lost his composure?

no.

it was neglected

Because that’s the best way to turn away from your own ugly, dirty look.

“Heh-uh… Heh-uh…”

Breathing heavily, Reventia, who had vomited several times, rubbed her face.

I can’t breathe because of the crushing headache and the pressure on my heart.

Trembling, I finally calmed down after drinking a tranquilizer, but I couldn’t afford to hold on any longer.

The good news is that it survived until the end.

“Hey… Hehe… I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

The ordeal, which vividly displayed her sin, was painful enough to crack her heart.

Reventia barely got up from the pain and staggered toward the shimmer that signaled the end of the ordeal.

Every step you take breaks your heart.

The feeling of not being able to overcome the guilt begins to crack.

– Is it because of you…?

“Ugh…”

– Because of you. Because of your dirty jealousy…

A blue-white-haired beauty who had been selling the sage until just now.

Reventia from the past pointed an arrow at herself trying to get out of the ordeal.

Even knowing that she wasn’t real, it was an illusion created by her guilt.

Leventia couldn’t turn away from that fantasy.

“Ah… ugh…”

– All of this is because of you. you’re wrong But what are you doing well that is so annoying?

The arrows of criticism hurt so much.

Leventia had no choice but to know what the reason was.

No wonder.

As Hyeonu has never resented or criticized himself so far, the criticism created by his hatred for himself is bound to hurt.

With her tear-stained face staggering, Leventia took one step at a time.

Hyunwoo.

though it has changed you are still good

Leventia whimpered and recalled what had happened before entering the ordeal.

I will go through this ordeal alone. you guys will have a hard time

As always, he was right.

The ordeal was difficult and painful.

To the point where I vomited several times and lost my mind in self-loathing.

“Ah… ugh…”

I would rather have cursed and criticized him in reality, and slapped him on the cheek.

If so, would the reproaches of this fantasy, the hatred of oneself, have subsided in the slightest?

It is a meaningless assumption.

A good sage will never blame himself.

Leventia went into the Shimmering, the end of her ordeal, and sat down on the floor gasping for breath.

“hahaha…”

Although she barely escaped the ordeal, Leventia couldn’t help but be nervous.

“Hyun…wow…”

Because there was a twinkle in her eyes.

Shimmer with the face of a sage. Shimmer.

A box that should never be opened.

The most painful past the sage had gone through lay before his eyes.

“Ahhh…”

shouldn’t look

don’t go inside

Her intuition called out urgently, but Leventia tried to ignore it.

If there is Hyeonu in me.

If there is anything about the period he changed.

then…

You need to know.

Why did Hyeonu change?

You should know as much as yourself.

As if a thousand-pound chain was holding my foot, I couldn’t let go of my footsteps.

It must be that he is afraid to look at the sage’s past.

Even so, I couldn’t ignore it.

that one

because it’s your own fault

“…Ugh…!”

Intuition was right.

The first thing Leventia saw as soon as she entered was Hyeonu leaving the party.

He could not have imagined that the place he was heading to was a cursed wilderness.

What is the reason Hyeonu went to this wilderness where even excellent knights are under intense stress just by entering?

“Ah… come on, no way…”

Leventia remembered what she had said to Hyeonu before.

– If your heart is weak, train yourself!! I’d rather go to the cursed wilderness!

If you go there, your heart will be strong!

If Hyunwoo

What if he, who was having a hard time at that time, came here to train his mind?

What if he came here to train himself to withstand the scolding he spits out?

“Ah. aaa!!

With her face painted pale, Leventia hurriedly grabbed Hyeonu.

However, even with the power to kill monsters in one blow, the fog cannot be captured.

Even so, she struggled to catch Hyeonu several times, but in the end it was just a futile gesture.

After all, this is just the truth that has already happened.

It was a reality that could not be denied unless time could be turned back.

“Please! Please! That, not there!!”

That’s why, despite her earnest cry, Hyeonu calmly entered the thorn bush.

The more he walks through the thorn bush, the more his flesh tears.

The more he passes through the thorn bush, the more his blood drips.

and.

Gradually, the clean white robe was stained red.

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Just as Leventia herself had hoped, the sage was becoming defiled.

“That, stop… please… go, don’t go… please… go in…”

but can’t hear

Hyeonu just walked without stopping as he had to do.

“Ah… ah… please… go… don’t…”

scream.

hate

The hatred for himself that drove him to this point turns into tears and drenches the wilderness.

But he, too, could not delay his steps in the slightest.

-Look at me.

-Because you made me change.

-This is just the beginning.

-Did you lead me this far?

-How do you feel? Is it going the way you want it to? He’s breaking down the way you want him to?

– Shouldn’t you rather like it?

-Is this the pride of that proud knight?! Is this what you dreamed of?

Hyeonu changing himself.

To injure oneself just because of training that one spat out thoughtlessly.

All she does is watch Hyeon-woo, who suffers from mental illness alone while silently enduring terrible pain, and repeatedly treats it.

As if the tears created by tears and cries could not wet this land at all.

There was nothing Leventia could do here.

He just sat down and denied all the pride he wanted so much.

“Hey… aaa… euaaa… opaaa… opaaa… opaaa… ogaaa…owaa… Ugh… aaang!”

Except for crying out loud as a child before she dreamed of becoming a knight, even ignoring herself.