80 – It’s not easy – 3

When Hyeonu entered, Veronica glanced behind her.

“It’s going to be hard, but why don’t you guys just rest?”

“…can do.”

“I-I can do it…”

“Really? If so. Prince Cecil. What about you?”

“Well. Because I want to see what the sage sees the world like.”

Everyone seemed unwilling to give up, so Veronica laughed bitterly inwardly.

Everyone is doing something stupid.

But even so, I had no intention of stopping it.

If you want to do it, you can do it.

After all, I’m the only one who can get inside his walls.

Turning around, Veronica licked her lips lightly.

The lips that touched his forehead earlier were embarrassingly hot.

But I didn’t like the heat.

No, on the contrary, it felt like my mind was clearer.

“Then I’ll go in first.”

Veronica moved her steps into the shimmer that Hyeonu had just entered.

As she walked into the empty darkness, Veronica felt her surroundings change in an instant.

no.

It’s not just the surroundings.

The only thing that changed was himself.

In this darkness, she herself is not Cardinal Veronica.

She was just Veronica, a country girl who was nothing.

-mom and dad…

It was a ruined village. Numerous monsters of terrible shapes entered the village and captured people.

-aaa!!

Sharp thorns pierce the chests of a middle-aged woman with a cozy look and a middle-aged man with a reliable build. When the man and woman who blocked the thorn with their bodies to somehow protect their daughter turned their heads.

Veronica felt her heart beat like crazy.

-It’s because of you… Because of you…

-Even if you used your strength a little faster…

The fantasy of a man and a woman who shed bloody tears and vomited resentment with a large hole in their bodies burst into despair.

how to forget

It’s the face of my parents that I still think of when I close my eyes.

they.

those who died in pain.

He was bleeding and grumbling.

Because of me.

They died because of me.

If I had awakened my strength a little sooner, my parents and villagers would not have died.

Veronica felt the pain that made her heart thump, her stomach aching, and her head dizzy at the criticisms of her mother, who was strict at times, and who always cared for her more than anyone else, and her father, who was always weak to her.

no.

I.

– He said he was the chosen one?

– under. Then what do you do? In the end, Ande couldn’t even protect Ji’s parents.

– Didn’t you gain your holy power by sacrificing your parents?

When it became known that he possessed powerful holy power and entered the church.

I heard stories of people who were jealous of themselves.

What would you do if you had great power? On the subject of losing precious things because I couldn’t even use them in time.

no.

That’s not it.

me too…

– That bitch…

– Some goddamn orphans have a lot of sexual power…

The jealousy of those who came to church faster than herself, but fell behind, turned into ill feelings and poured out on Veronica.

The more I trained as a child, the more people hated me.

Sensing a sense of crisis at her rapid growth, the priests who wanted to keep their place wanted to cut her down somehow.

it is not so.

I…

The memories I want to forget, hidden in a sturdy box, open the box carefully and start attacking.

Mom. Dad. village.

A nun who was jealous of herself.

A priest who hated himself.

Believers resent that they did not save themselves.

The painful parts of Veronica’s life were emerging in the dark.

It’s painful.

afraid.

Looking at the past must be so difficult.

The girl, Veronica, embraced herself with both arms.

It was so cold in this darkness where everyone hated him.

One point of warmth is so desperate.

– Veronica.

And then.

The warmth she had longed for came.

He was a tall man who had to look up to see.

An impressive man with the white robe he always wears.

Veronica, who blankly looked up at him, who gave her a sense of security with her voice, reached out her hand.

The man smiled leisurely as always and held out his big hand.

Ahh.

Also you…

Veronica looked up at the man who held her hand tightly and smiled.

I understand why the most painful past took so long.

Because all the past before I met you was so painful.

So she put her hand in her arms.

What she held in her hand was none other than a scarf made by Hyeonu herself.

At that moment, the pain disappears and a shimmer appears.

Is it because he can think that such an ordeal is nothing as long as Hyeonu is by his side?

Feeling the warmth of the scarf, Veronica held the wise man’s hand and swayed.

I walked towards the end of this ordeal and when I reached the front, the sage let go of his hand.

“…thank you.”

for protecting me

for being by my side

“So.”

like you protected me

because i will protect you

“wait.”

When I went inside the shimmer, I saw four shimmers. As Hyunwoo said, is it a place where you can see the past of the challenger?

Among them, Veronica headed toward Shimmering where Hyeonu’s face was.

She couldn’t believe her eyes at the sight she saw when she entered it.

“…Hyeonu… Hey?”

Veronica thought she knew well about the relationship between the warrior party and Hyeonu.

That’s why the most painful thing for Hyeonu would have been the pain he had with them.

But what she saw before her eyes was different.

A dead land that has been tainted with demonic energy emitted by monsters.

A cursed wilderness located at the eastern end of the continent.

A man was walking there.

The man she knew with an impressive white robe looked quite tired. Still, he didn’t stop.

For what?

Why did he come here alone when he was going to go with the warrior party no matter what?

According to Veronica’s investigation, the warrior’s party had never been to this place.

But Hyeonu is alone here?

Only then did she find out.

The only time the warrior party and the sage were apart for a long time.

It was something that happened at the time that I couldn’t find out even with my own research.

I asked Hyeonu several times, but he just smiled and passed on.

Maybe it was here that Hyeonu had a wall in his heart.

That’s why Veronica thought she had to watch the whole scene.

“Aww…”

He closed his eyes at the first pain he experienced on this earth.

Ordinary plants cannot survive in the cursed wilderness.

Yes, ordinary plants.

Then, over there, the thorn bush that blocked Hyeonu’s way was by no means an ordinary plant.

cursed thorns.

A cruel plant that seduces the monsters here and sucks their blood.

A monster that causes itself to enter a thorn bush, makes a wound, and greedily absorbs the blood that comes out of it.

Scholars have said that when approaching a thornbush, a person who gets close to the thornbush does not stop approaching it even if it takes pain, because it causes a mental illness called ‘self-injury’.

Recalling a record she had seen at church before, Veronica wanted to stop him.

But this is his past.

Unlike the help he received, he was unable to help Hyeonu.

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Just powerless.

There was nothing I could do except watch.

stop.

stop.

why are you going there

Hyeonu, who knew everything, couldn’t have known about the cursed thorn tree.

He casually went into the thornbush.

– Jjiik. snap!

Is it because it’s food that hasn’t been in for a long time?

Sharp thorns like the blades of thorn bushes greedily cut through Hyeonu’s flesh.

Then, when the red blood that started dripping wet the white robe, the thorn bush began to covet it happily.

It will hurt.

It will be painful.

However, Hyeonu did not change much except for slightly distorting his expression.

Rather, he calmly grasped his condition.

Like.

like you want this

“Did you catch it?”

What does that smile mean?

If so, this level of mental illness could be easily cured.

Why not treat it?

Veronica immediately knew why.

“Ah… ah… you…”

The church fights evil, praises God, but also heals the suffering.

Of course, that pain also included mental illness, and Veronica had also gone out for treatment for mental illness, so she knew at least what ‘self-harm’ was.

self-injury.

A disease that lowers stress by injuring one’s own body.

Why did Hyeonu first get self-harm after coming to this land?

“You… You…!! Stop it!! Stop it!!”

Veronica exclaimed earnestly. The Cursed Wilderness is a place that gives you extreme mental pain just by walking here.

Hyeonu tried to solve the mental pain caused by walking here through self-injury.

“Why… why…”

Veronica urgently grabbed Hyeonu. Even knowing that this is an illusion showing his past.

Hyeonu, who vainly slipped out of his hands, was heading towards the depths of the wilderness as if nothing had happened.

The monsters, strange springs, and ruins they encounter.

Veronica was well aware that they were all terrible enough to cause mental illness.

And the words were the same as saying that the sage also knows well.

Then, why did Hyeonu not avoid them even when he ran into them?

The answer came quickly.

on purpose

Hyeonu was repeatedly encountering them on purpose, suffering from mental illness, and receiving treatment.

“Ah… ah… a guy like you…”

With a devastated face, Veronica looked at Hyeonu.

he didn’t stop

Sometimes I get mentally ill from the burden of fighting monsters alone.

He deliberately fights with injuries and sometimes suffers from mental illness.

Even though I lost my voice when I approached the cursed spring that was rotten.

He never stopped hurting himself.

“Stop… stop… please stop…”

I’d rather not know.

I’d rather just hug him.

Why did you try to see his past?

Why were you trying to mend his wounds?

Although she struggled with deep regret, despair, and pain, Veronica couldn’t turn away from him in the end.

Get used to self-injury.

Getting used to being alive in near-death pain.

adapt to stress

Iron gets stronger the more you strike it, but people can never do that.

Even so, Hyeonu was harshly driving himself as if it were the truth.

And, Hyeonu like that.

-I’m really sorry…

– Ahahaha! stupid~! So what are you going to do?

-…I’m sorry… I’m sorry…

three beauties.

The women who owed him debts he couldn’t bear to repay were harassing him even in the fantasy created by Hyeon-woo’s mental illness.

“Ahhh…”

stop it.

rather come by my side

because i will protect you

So…

“aaa there!!”

How many mental illnesses have you already had?

Veronica shuddered when she saw the temple where Hyeonu, who had been released from the disease to the extent that even Segi was afraid of it, had arrived.

It had to be.

This temple is a foreign god.

Because it was the temple of the evil god who wanted to destroy this world.

Why the hell is Hyeonu trying to enter the temple of a bizarre god who is said to drive humans crazy just by facing him?

slowly. I put something down at the entrance of the temple.

It was the Divine Mark and holy relics that he had given him in the past.

Why did you put down the protection items to protect yourself in pain?

Take it, it should be there.

They’ll protect you from madness at least a little.

He shouted desperately, but Hyeonu just silently entered the temple.

Do you not know where that place is?

But it didn’t seem like it.

He was so accustomed to finding his way and easily reached the most dangerous place in this temple.

“Ahhhh.. Cosmo, the Almighty Ruler of Space…Your…”

As soon as he saw the huge statue of a foreign god that is the center of this temple and that governs the space, Hyeonu began to worship the foreign god while foaming and spitting out pain.

I have to stop.

You have to stop it somehow.

At that time, he might really go crazy and become a madman.

But there was nothing he could do.

Veronica, who had no choice but to whimper at the terrible sense of helplessness, managed to gather her mind.

This is Hyeonu’s past.

So, Hyeonu would have overcome.

So let’s keep an eye on it.

Hyeonu, who had been screaming in pain for such a long time, escaped from the temple muttering incomprehensible words after complaining of the pain of madness for three days and nights.

Veronica was barely relieved to see her kneel down as soon as she came out, holding the Divine Mark in her arms and starting to pray trembling.

That’s why.

The reason why I left the divine mark and holy relics.

It is to relieve the madness gained from worshiping foreign gods by worshiping the right god.

Veronica shed tears admiring Hyeonu’s knowledge.

I don’t know how worried you were.

You don’t know how much pain it was.

So I want you to stop now.

But Hyunwoo.

It didn’t stop even after he was cured of the madness he got from worshiping that terrible foreign god, and when he finally stopped the journey of suffering.

“After. I’m done.”

now.

No matter what happened, he became a leisurely sage.

So Veronica wept.

Because I knew what the pain behind that composure was.

So Veronica was furious.

Because he knew he wasn’t the only one watching him here.