Episode 44 – Engagement Ceremony

I tried not to pay too much attention to it, but I guess the engagement ceremony makes me nervous. I can’t even drink a sip of water properly. At first glance, it seems that Melchior, Melissa, and Glaceon are talking with the guests, but I have nothing to talk about with them. Go to someone you don’t know and say, ‘What’s your favorite anime? What is Iron Blooded Orphans? It’s not like you can throw a Confucian punch saying, ‘This bastard is crazy.’

I wanted to finish my meal quickly and eat comfortably. I was hungry because I hadn’t eaten anything since morning, but I noticed somewhere to go out and pick something up to eat. This is why they say that international marriages are not. Since no one knows, this is just a cushion of thorns.

“Aren’t you hungry, Werner?”

It was Melchior. Melchior brought a plate full of grilled goose meat and soft butter biscuits. All were things Werner liked.

“How did you know I was hungry, brother?”

“You haven’t eaten anything since morning.”

“Haa… be careful too.”

With a sigh, I took the plate and picked up the goose meat with my fork. It cooled down a bit, but the salty liver and tender meat fit my taste buds. Or should I say that Werner got hit in the mouth? The butter biscuits were savory, crispy on the outside and moist on the inside, just like Warchief Garrosh.

“Werner… are you really okay?”

“The die has already been cast.”

“Don’t decide life issues with dice. Especially, your partner is an important issue.”

“I couldn’t even use great magic, so in the end… It’s a life where I can’t participate in the journey to cure Sister Mediah’s illness. Well, I have to live as I can.”

Then a heavy shock hit my head. I wondered if the real Werner’s earthenware pot could not withstand the continuous impact and was broken because its durability was exhausted.

It was none other than Melissa who hit me in the head. That damn pedophilia-skinned hag is trying to kill me.

“Don’t treat my daughter with the choices you’ve made in life living the way you’ll be, youngest child. And we’ll fix your body no matter what, for sure.”

How are they going to treat Werner’s physical condition, which even the Heavenly Demon gave up on? I wanted to avoid talking about my physical condition as much as possible, so I held on to my hair, where Melissa had hit me hard.

“Haigo sister… What if my hair’s durability gets lowered and my head gets smashed by the bad guys and I die?”

The question I was asked to answer was just a joke, but it seemed that Melchior and Melissa took my words as serious questions.

“Then we have to kill all the bastards who touched our youngest! No, before we kill our youngest, we have to crush all the bastards who think that way. Who the bastards dare to…”

“You, be careful with your words.”

After all, only his wife can defeat the barbarian. Melissa gave her answer with a grin.

“If there are bastards who do such nasty things to our youngest, we’ll make them beg to be killed.”

“Oh really? I think you’re right hahahahaha!!!”

And they both started to laugh. Heh heh heh, crazy people, at least Glaceon is normal for growing up in this crazy family. Really. Really, those people were stupid, but I also thought that I wanted to blend in with them and become a family. Even before I was possessed, I had no family. Is it greed to say that I want to have something I have never had in my life?

“The ceremony will start soon? Youngest, if you run away again, will your older sister stir up and kill you?”

“The person who just killed me makes me beg to be killed. Where is that person?”

“Yeah, your brother and sister are fine~.”

Look at the damned vampire granny writing like a beggar.

“Tsk… That’s how you feel, so you’re as tall as a dwarf.”

He muttered softly, but it seemed that Melissa’s ear was also very good.

To give you today’s piece of common sense, it’s true that when a person gets hit in the side with a double side kick, it hurts like hell. My side still throbs.

—–

The northern engagement ceremony was a bit unusual. Even if it was unusual, it wasn’t like the bride putting a rear naked choke on the groom or something like that. And afterwards, after exchanging flowers, it ended with cutting and sharing bread.

It was said that he was a deceased person who served as a moderator for 30 years in an arena that seemed to be a moderator. I was a little apprehensive, but decided to give it a go. The moderator grabbed a magic tool that looked like a microphone. It was said in-game that it was made by drying the vocal organs of the gigantic bat.

“Hello everyone!!! I’m Forcewagon in charge of today’s moderation!!!”

The name is familiar, but the society is not an engagement ceremony, but no matter how you look at it, it looks like an arena. But no one raised a question.

Um… I guess there is such a culture in the North. Yes, we should respect the culture. In the North, it is common for the emcee to shout during engagement ceremonies. Culture must be respected, unless it is a culture where people cannibalize or poop on the street. Of course, if there is a bastard who talks nonsense about going to a foreign country and asking him to respect his culture, you should give him a Confucian punch right away.

“Everyone knows we have a blessed couple getting engaged today!!!!!”

That bastard doesn’t hurt his neck, but he really does. I thought about breaking the earthenware pot with a Confucian punch, but I was afraid of repercussions. The first engagement ceremony ran away, and the second engagement ceremony smashed the host’s earthen pot with a Confucian punch? Buddha shakes his head and blows the Tathagata kidney, Jesus casts Nazareth swordsmanship type 1 – Satan Slash, and Confucius casts Jin – Confucian punch.

Fearing the joint attack of the three, I decided to stay still.

And the moderator called me after attaching all sorts of rhetoric about this ceremony.

“And that blessed man!!! The great great wizard that everyone knows!!! A piece of great heroes!!! The wizard who suddenly disappeared like the wind and returned like the wind!!! Werner Alton!!!”

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No matter how much I listen to it, it sounds like a platoon of players entering the arena. I really want to throw a Confucian punch. However, looking at Melchior and Melissa and everyone clapping, it seems that this is the culture of the North. The northern cubs are a barbarism once. Aren’t these bastards really eating human flesh?

I sighed and entered with an effort to manage my expression. Seeing that some of the women who attended the engagement ceremony blushed, it seems that Werner’s face, even with real makeup, is a fraud. Looking at it, there are some guys who blush, but those guys are confirmed to be Confucian punches later. I will not respect the culture where men like me. There will be no BLs in my life, even if I die, and even if I throw a Confucian punch at them, all three generations of adults will praise me.

And the host again grabbed the microphone and introduced Glaceon.

“And today’s second heroine!!! Let’s be the current owner of our north!!! The best warrior with the blood of two great heroes!!! Grand Duke of the North!!! Lady Glaceon Winterheart!!!”

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No matter how much you hear it, it’s an introduction to the arena players, I wondered if I should at least blow Glaceon with a Confucian punch or lightning magic.

Fortunately, however, it was an engagement ceremony, not an arena match, that we were fighting, facing each other and touching our foreheads. And while they were touching each other’s foreheads, her face, which they saw, had a happier smile than anyone else’s. He must have really liked Werner.

And now the ceremony of cutting and sharing the bread remains, and the moment I am about to cut the bread…

bang! With a sound, the door to the wedding hall was smashed. what is a terrorist? Or is it Team Rocket?

It wasn’t Team Rocket. Because there were two intruders in robes.

And the intruders took off their robes that protected them from the cold, and I could see their faces only then. Team Rocket would have been better.

Camellia drew her sword and said.

“Melissa, Melchior, though I don’t think this is a bit…”

And my disciple, Airi, greeted me and waved her hand.

“Master! You’ve been through a lot! I’ll save you now!”

It seems that the hard work has happened now… I turned my head to the side and looked at Glaceon’s expression.

The smile from before had gone, and the face was very cold and full of life. And Werner’s excellent hearing could clearly hear Glaceon’s small talk to himself.

“That slut…”