193 – reverse-12

“This…”

Nerwen’s body writhed. However, I couldn’t get rid of myself already on top of her.

Slowly, the power drained from her body.

If it was a monster or a real enemy up there, she would have tried to escape somehow, either by pulling out a dagger or twisting her body using that flexibility, but she gave up and slumped.

“You lost.”

As if she couldn’t help it, she shook her head and looked at me with pitiful eyes.

“Kill.”

“Well.”

“…That wasn’t what happened.”

She closed her eyes tightly and spoke cautiously.

“Please, I beg you. Kill me. And please… return. Live freely…”

I raised my hand high. Then, that hand flew through the wind towards Nerwen’s head.

“Ah, ah… ah?”

However, it didn’t really hit me to death. I just gave him a slight slap on the cheek in the sense of coming to his senses.

Nerwen instinctively stroked his blushing cheeks. The elf’s eyes were wide open, and it seemed that he didn’t understand me at all.

“What if you don’t like it?”

“Then, I will have to live in pain. In the pain of a world without you.”

“I won’t kill anyone. All of you. I won’t let you die, I won’t let you die.”

It was just a wish with no reason or justification. It was a desire.

Looking back, it was the same on the journey to defeat the demon king. Maybe I wasn’t a good person.

Like a child who cries at the sight of something frightening, he only cried out and begged that the abomination be removed from his eyes.

A person’s death, an eternal severance. The blood flowing out and the corpses left like garbage.

I just didn’t want to see it.

“There is no reason for you… to be bound to us.”

“I’m not bound by you. I’ll bind you. I don’t care what you say.”

Nerwen bit her lip. thick enough to bleed.

The more she breathes in, the more she feels her strength fading. I feel that my will is clouded.

“I do not forget what you did for me. The fact that I, who was born as a subject to you from birth, found freedom for the first time.”

“Oh, that annoyed the World Tree guys a little… a lot. I couldn’t help it.”

Because I was saying that there was someone behind the reasonless violence I suffered, albeit weakly.

Of course, Nerwen’s fault doesn’t go away. She was able to express that restraint through connivance and understanding instead of hatred.

However, I was the one who thought that the hatred inflicted on me was solely her fault. It was only natural that he was shocked by Nerwen’s birth and was filled with anger at the World Tree.

“And this… is my choice. The first decision of my own will, made with the freedom you gifted me.”

Nerwen’s body was limp. Perhaps, it may have already been a limit for a long time.

She was the best archer, guide, and probably the strongest of the elves outside the World Tree. But, that’s it.

From the moment I challenged me to fight, who had become accustomed to the body of a hero, she must have moved her body while cutting down on her lifespan.

“So… please, even if you kill me… watch the plans of the rest. They’re all working for you, to bring you back…”

“Oh, I see.”

But I didn’t let go of Nerwen.

Looking at it like this, it was a very fragile body. Its body is so light that you can’t even guess how it pulls the bowstring.

It is weak enough to break with the slightest force.

“Nope?”

I refused Nerwen’s request with a smile on my face.

I think it’s fortunate that she found her way.

Aside from what Nerwen had done to me, it was like saying that someone who had been bedridden with an incurable disease miraculously woke up.

Also, I was grateful that the first act of her own will was for me.

Apart from the fact that Nerwen had something to atone for, I didn’t deserve her love either.

It was a gift. Thank you.

“I, I don’t intend to admit that. Did I tell you? I wouldn’t let anyone die.”

However, I politely declined Nerwen’s gift. I was just thinking of getting it.

“Why… why?”

“Why? Well, I’m glad you found your freedom, and I’m grateful that it worked for me, but there’s no reason I should follow it.”

I am more important

Nerwen must have had to overcome countless temptations, desires, and conflicts to make that choice.

She didn’t lie when she said that even pointing an arrow at me or disobeying my words was painful enough to make her whole body tremble.

That is definitely a noble thing.

Facing the self of the past who despised and humiliated me, feeling the chains that entangled her, and sacrificing herself for others by escaping all temptations and bonds.

Certainly, it will be something that has irreplaceable value for her.

“If you can, try it.”

But, it’s not my business.

No matter how lofty her mind became, Nerwen’s body lay here and now beneath me.

If I want to kill her, I can take it down in one shot.

“No one dies.”

Nerwen screamed with a painful face.

“Why, why! All of these people here have sinned against you! They have realized that and are determined to sacrifice themselves for you! As long as they live, as long as they live in the same world as you, they will torment you!”

“I hate it.”

It wasn’t something I hadn’t experienced. I have already done killing people ‘because I committed a crime’ or ‘because someday they will make me suffer’.

And, I didn’t want to go through that again. It didn’t matter what the reason was. I didn’t want to worry about anticipation of the future or handling the aftermath.

“This was my choice! It was my freedom! I chose a more painful path for you! This…”

“Ah, yes. But…”

I lowered my stance. Nerwen’s face and mine were close enough to breathe.

“Then I, too, have the freedom to choose it, even if it is a more painful path.”

Not for anyone. just for myself.

Because I didn’t want to kill another person.

Nerwen froze as if in shock, then shed bitter tears.

As she lay down, the tears did not fall down her cheeks, but scattered on both sides, running down her temples and between her cheeks to the ground.

“Well, I didn’t mean to talk for this long. You don’t intend to give in too, do you?”

In the first place, convincing Nerwen was not my goal. It was just a matter of taking some time to talk.

“Ugh…”

He grabbed her golden hair and pulled her hair up. Should I turn this around?

It was difficult for me, who had accumulated a lot of fighting data in my own way, to easily touch her body.

Since they are accustomed to fighting, if they were humans, how could they neutralize them without harming their lives? But not an elf.

I couldn’t fathom how hard it would take to hit which area to knock her out for just the right amount of time.

If Celia had the power of a saint, she could be cured by cutting off one of her legs and placing it on her body so that it would not become contaminated, and then returning quickly.

It was too risky an idea to carry out now.

“…There is no need to neutralize it. All of my remaining will has already been broken.”

Nerwen took a deep breath in through his nose and exhaled again. Nerwen looked sad and pitiful as if he had given up, but at the same time he seemed a little comfortable.

“I ended up on my knees. I don’t deserve to be alive, I don’t deserve to see your face… I’ll survive ugly and pitiful, and I’ll live on your mercy.”

“It’s not mercy… it’s because I really want to do it.”

“However…”

“Trust me. This time, for real, I’m not going to put the blame on anyone else.”

Nerwen looked at me with pitiful eyes.

“…go. Celia will come out if you go over there.”

I was paying attention to some extent. Because there was a suspicious energy leaking out of it.

It was too murky to be Celia’s, so I couldn’t be sure easily, but if it wasn’t for Nerwen, I would have gone straight there.

“If you meet her, you’ll be able to make up your mind. She’ll give you a much more… meaningful persuasion than my mediocre words.”

“I’m anxious…”

It’s an aura that wouldn’t be strange even if the demon dragon had already been born. According to Nerwen, it didn’t seem too late.

I got up cautiously. Nerwen’s body, still lying on the ground, was littered with blood and dirt from mine.

“You’re not going to attack me again are you?”

“If you’re that afraid, you may kill me. Or you may cut off one of my legs and leave.”

“As much as possible, to the side where you are not harmed.”

“Then, one order is enough. Already, I don’t even have the consciousness to resist it.”

After laughing, I looked straight into Nerwen’s eyes and ordered.

“Nerwen, this is an order. You’re not looking like a horse right now? There’s a lake in front of you. It might be a bit cold, but wash up there and come. See you tomorrow morning.”

“Ah… gladly.”

She forced her wobbly legs up and walked in the direction I pointed.

“and.”

However, my order is not over yet.

“Until we meet again, think of what you want to do.”

With that last word, I turned my back on Nerwen and walked towards Celia.

It was funny. That I, who desperately wanted their return and revenge against them, had to fight to stop it.

However, I had no intention of giving up.