48 – I love you

* * * *

Her expression distorted, and silence flowed.

… In fact, I had noticed from the moment her hand reached out to me.

That the fiancé she was talking about was me.

But think about it.

A pretty girl that would make you smile just by looking at her from the side.

My love, which I thought was a one-way street for a long time.

Think of the feeling of a person who, with a single finger pointing, realizes that the fiancé who has become the meaning of her life is me.

While suppressing the corners of his mouth that tried to ascend to heaven by itself as the pleasant sensation of tickling his heart creeped up from the tip of his toe,

So what was all the bullshit I had been doing to win her heart from her fiancé? A strange situation that makes me think.

‘What is it, it’s all shameful and black history is the fuck.’

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Just the quotes that come to mind right now are enough to pierce through hundreds of blankets.

-I don’t know what kind of unscrupulous guy did the burglary… sure don’t kill me

-Do you think of seducing a mentally impoverished child and eating him off? trash kid.

-I will never forgive this NTR Chung Geumsun.

Sons, NTR Chung, Golden Sun, unscrupulous, garbage, and torn and killed.

This is what I thought in my heart, but the words I spit out were more spectacle.

to Grace.

-What kind of great person was able to monopolize the love of Her Highness the Princess… It’s amazing.

to Lily.

-Isn’t it possible to have curiosity about what part of a man the princess of the empire was attracted to?

Doesn’t that mean that I’ve been doing crazy things like fighting NTR against myself?

There is no other shit show like this.

So, in order to buy time to sort out my complicated emotions, I mentioned a word I saw on a broadcast that tells about the extraordinary things I’ve seen every Sunday at 11:00.

soul wedding.

I said it once as a joke, but what about this?

Lily looked at me with bloody cold eyes and then broke the silence and spoke to me.

“Finn, is that a joke?”

“…Yes, I am joking, Princess.”

“I’d better not do it next time. I don’t think Finn is good at jokes.”

“…yes.”

Silence flowing again. Rather, thanks to this silence, I was able to organize my thoughts, so I just silently rolled my eyes here and there.

Why did Grace tell me that Lily’s fiancé had left and that Lily was missing him?

I did it because my fiancée was me. Fuck.

And for some reason, Lily, who realized that I had sacrificed herself for her, decided to consider me her fiancé… .

Considering the character of her character, it doesn’t even make sense.

Reflecting on the fact that he had done shadow boxing, he swallowed bitter saliva and continued his thoughts.

In the woods of Area B-04, Lily told me that her fiancé was her sun. He said he was the only person who sent love to him like family.

The fiancé who explained it with all kinds of praise-like mass phrases.

‘Is that me?’

If you think about it one by one, if you think about it on the premise that she had feelings for me after knowing the inside story of the incident… everything fits perfectly

She found out that the fist she had swung at the opponent she thought existed was, in fact, swung at the empty space where the opponent didn’t even exist.

Now, the fact that the fist he threw out was actually directed at himself is full of energy.

Still, there were a few unanswered questions for me.

How did she find out the truth about me?

And if I knew the truth, I would have collapsed, so how did I get up?

That’s why I asked.

“Princess.”

“yes?”

“Can I ask you some things about me…how and when you found out about me?”

“Ah… Actually, I found out right away on the day Finn left the imperial palace…”

“Yes? The day I… fell off the cliff?”

her eyes are on me

Her eyes, like amethyst, radiate a light purple color with faint tears forming on them.

Maybe I’m reminiscing about that time, the day when I realized that I had died even though I realized all the facts.

“Yeah…I could tell you…But instead, could you hold my hand?”

“A hand, you mean?”

She looked at me with a somewhat uneasy expression and reached out her hand.

There was no reason to refuse, so I grabbed her slender hand and looked at her while holding it.

Her clasped hands trembled, conveying her anxiety. When I tilted my head, she forced a smile and smiled at me.

“When I think of that time… the thought that you might disappear before my eyes again… I’m so anxious. It’s okay, even if it’s just until the end of the story… Won’t you hold on to it?”

“As long as it’s comfortable for the princess.”

“Thanks, Finn.”

Ehehe.

The girl I once saw in that old cabin, smiling as innocent as a child, rubbing the back of my clenched hands with her fingertips while talking.

She said with a look of regret.

“It was on a night when I was looking for and trying to argue with my father who let you run away. It rained like a hole in the sky…and a night when lightning struck.”

She squeezed my hand tighter with an expression that looked like she was about to collapse.

“I overheard my father talking in front of my mother’s grave. Maybe… I think I was able to overhear it because my footsteps were drowned out by the sound of the rain.”

“The fact that you… took all the blame for me and left the empire…”

Her eyes toward me were even brighter.

“And when I realized what I had done and somehow found you, you were already…”

“There must have already been only a torn piece of clothing lying there. I was wearing it.”

The sound of her swallowing was heard as she exhaled and trembled with unbearable sadness at the thought of that time.

He endured the memories that had become like a terrible trauma and entangled him, and he barely began to speak.

“So I made your grave…and lived there all day. Eating…sleeping…even when it rained, even when I was sweating in the scorching sun…until I passed out.”

“I didn’t know how to atone for you… I just spent time reminiscing about you.”

When she met my gaze that I couldn’t express in words, I smiled.

“But it wasn’t hard at all. I thought you were by my side.”

“But it seems that it wasn’t like that from the people around me. What I received from my father at that time was… this.”

She put her unclasped left hand into her bosom and pulled out a familiar scrap of paper.

Tears, which she could not hide anymore, burned down her cheeks, and even though the corners of her lips, shining in a pale cherry color, turned toward the sky, the corners of her eyes did not hide their emotions, and she just leaned toward the ground.

“…letter.”

‘I never thought the emperor would use my letter.’

It was an unexpected process for me, who had the premise that if she faced the truth, she would collapse completely.

If you think about it, it made sense.

Even if this world is a novel, the humans in the novel are not machines. There was no guarantee that they would react the same to similar stimuli.

However, in a situation where there is not much given data, choosing the safest direction as possible would not be dismissed as completely wrong.

What I chose was a safety measure under limited rationality.

She put the letter on the table and asked me.

“I think my story is over… Can I ask you a question from me now…?”

“It is.”

“Actually, there are so many things I want to ask… but I’m running out of time, so I’ll ask just two.”

she asked, holding my hand with her other hand.

The warmth of the warmth felt at the tip of her slender fingers, the softness of her skin, made my heart beat even more.

“How did you come up with this method…?”

“…”

Her heart, which had been throbbing with a pleasant throb, began to throb with tension this time.

… How should I say it.

The fact that the situation she was in was the same as the heroine in a Japanese romance novel I saw, so she acted with the thought that this world would work if it was romance.

‘I can’t tell.’

I couldn’t tell her all the facts.

That’s why he recited lies mixed with the truth to her.

“That, in a romance novel…there’s a story like that. The story of a prince who sacrifices himself for the sake of the princess…”

At the end of his gaze, which he couldn’t bear to look at her, her cheeks became bright red and hot.

“I-I see, a princess and a prince… a romance novel, right?”

Still avoiding her gaze, he silently nodded.

And the silence that followed for a while.

As I wait for the second question she will ask me,

It was because she was hesitant to ask me, just opening and closing her mouth several times for some reason.

Soon after, she asked me.

“Finn…how could he sacrifice so much for me…? Finn always thought of me since we were very young. Ever since I…that, I wasn’t as healthy as I am now.”

Why were you able to help yourself?

Why were you able to sacrifice for yourself?

Even though she didn’t have the beauty she has now, why did she only think of herself?

I didn’t have the confidence to lie to this question.

It was because I felt that if I gave an answer dotted with lies, not only her romance but also my sincerity would be tainted.

That’s why I conveyed my sincerity to her without adding or subtracting.

For the first time in my life, the words I say to her face to face.

Even though she wanted it so much, the words she couldn’t bear to tell until the very end.

This time, unlike that time, I don’t shed tears or cry out of sadness, and I can confidently convey my sincerity with a smile.

“I just wanted you to be happy, but it turned into love before I knew it. This attendant doesn’t know how to do it, and even though it’s stern…I’m in love with my heart. Princess Lilithiana.”

After experiencing possession, passing through death, going through regression, and spending several years… Only now can I tell you.

with her name.

that i love her