15 – Bean’s past

* * * *

… I doubted my ears.

what did i just hear?

No, what the hell was she talking about?

I saw the headmaster approaching me and moving his mouth toward me, but I couldn’t hear anything.

no, i couldn’t hear it

It’s because I have something important to me that I don’t care about the conferment ceremony.

It was far beyond my expectations that Lily had a fiancé.

-More great than you, much kinder…

It can’t be.

In terms of the story of this novel, such a man will never be seduced around Lily.

If that were the case, there wouldn’t have been a story about Lily becoming dependent on Ian.

-my fiancé

That also makes no sense.

I made Lily into something… She is a proper princess. princess.

As infamous as before. A proper princess, not a terminally ill princess in name only.

But you said you got a fiancé suitable for Lily? Even so, why did that daughter, the foolish emperor, allow it?

I can not understand it.

This result is not derived based on the original work I knew.

… If so, one cause.

The author said that this bastard gave Lily some kind of force of fate to exhaust me.

If so, there is only one outcome for Lily.

Ending the same as that bitch who was eliminated from the heroine through that NTR route and then took an exhausted route

‘If that happens, Lily will be all dirty… ‘

– fast

Thinking of the ending that Lily will face at the end of this NTR route, something hot boils from within.

What is the reason why I met death by pinning!!

I tried to somehow get Lily to recover and get her out of the impoverished route, but now, using this one year without me to get her to take the NTR route?!

“…Fuck!!!!!”

“…Wow, wow, what a surprise! Go, why are you suddenly like this, Berry…? Ever since I exchanged a few words with Her Highness the other day… It used to be weird, but now it looks even weirder.”

How much time has passed?

Before I knew it, only Ian and I were left in the auditorium, and the other students started moving toward their respective destinations.

“…Ian”

“Why are you staring at me like you’re going to kill me again?”

“Have you ever had a conversation with the princess?”

Could it be this guy?

Apparently, even in the original story, Lily said that she had never had feelings for a man other than this guy… .

‘Did this bastard and Lily’s meeting accelerate because I intervened?’

If so, I was confident that I would cut off the head of this rotten octopus-footed main character right now.

The reason I was so close with Ian from the beginning was to get rid of all meetings between Lily and Ian.

ending? drank?

what do you mean

Being intertwined with this guy is also an impoverished route, even if it is not an NTR route.

If you can’t prevent it in advance, you have no choice but to cut it in the bud. First of all, it is urgent to deal with the problems in front of you.

“Oh, no…? Today is the first time I’ve seen Her Highness…?”

“…Really? Mum bet?”

“Uh, I don’t know why I bet my mother…Anyway, this is my first time!”

… A sincere expression for anyone to see.

If you think of the character Ian who can’t lie… is this sincere

I was wondering if there was an encounter in the film that I didn’t know about… Apparently, Ian was not an NTR fanatic.

‘… Yes, this bastard was beaten when he was beaten. You’ve never done NTR’

“under…”

At that time, even though he was a sub, I thought Ian was an idiot when he saw Ian being NTRed as a heroine… .

‘It’s different now that it’s real… fuck’

… what? If you hate NTR so much, why insist on Lily? The problem of finding another heroine, saving her, and setting a flag?

It’s easy to say, it’s not like a person’s mind can change this way like flipping the palm of your hand.

‘Also, Lily is my first love, so how could she give up so easily… ‘

I still remember the warmth of the love she gave me.

I remember the feeling of the kiss he gave me while I was lying in a vegetative state.

But is the meddling of a strange person a reason for me to give up on her?

Is it not enough that she is the first love in my life, the one who made me feel the feeling of love for the first time in my life?

If I give up here, I can clearly see that I will go straight to the impoverished route.

‘Even a beast knows grace, but if you give up here with something that wasn’t Lily’s fault… i’m trash I’

… okay.

It’s still too early to despair.

Compared to my gutter-like life, this is fine. can be overcome

‘Yeah, compared to then, now… ‘

That’s right, my life before being possessed by this world wasn’t as ups and downs as it is now… Because it was a steady hell itself.

* * * *

… remembered the past

A nightmare that has now faded because I’ve gotten used to life here, but which still takes root somewhere in my head.

Even if it’s a nightmare, I don’t remember everything from the beginning of the nightmare.

The memory of my life started when I arrived at an orphanage with a certain man.

Because of that, I can’t remember the beginning of the nightmare that I couldn’t experience parental love before and after that.

‘… If it’s just parental love, I’d rather be fortunate.”

It’s really sad that I’ve never received anyone’s love.

The affection of the orphanage director.

Friendship of friends too.

Even the love from a woman that I would have experienced at least once if I had lived over 20 years.

reason? The reason is obvious.

-Ah, hello sir… Would you like to try this?

One day, I handed the chocolate from lunch to the teacher and said that.

I’ve heard that the teacher likes chocolate.

But the teacher didn’t seem to like it very much.

Whoever saw it, with a distorted complexion, reluctantly accepted my chocolate,

-now… Go back to half now… !

After sending me back like that, I witnessed her pushing the chocolate I gave her to a corner of the desk through the crack in the door.

… It would have been better if I had just witnessed it.

You might think she actually hates chocolate.

But it wasn’t long after that, I noticed that the reason she had a strange expression at that time was because she had given me chocolate.

-Oh! Are you giving it to your teacher? Thank you~ Let’s see… Shall we try it?

Because the image of her eating the chocolates she received from other children, not me, was so delicious that I came into my field of vision.

The look of her looking at the children with a friendly smile that I have never shown before.

Until then, I thought I was unloved for no reason.

That would be the case, because I was too young to think about why I was being ignored.

But not long after that, I learned why the kids hated me.

The trigger was a lottery for a seat on a tour bus, which is a common cause of quarrels during picnics.

Because the girl who got caught in the seat next to me cried and made a fuss about not wanting to sit next to me.

-Why do I have to sit next to a monster-looking guy like that!!! no!!!!! I mean I don’t like it… !!!!

She was the first person to directly say that I looked like a monster, and it was then that I realized for the first time why the people around me were looking at me with such strange eyes.

‘… Until this time… Because I’m like a monster… It was like that… ‘

I knew that my appearance was different from others.

It was just that I didn’t think that my appearance was repulsive.

The first day I arrived at the orphanage, the director of the orphanage saw my face and this was the first line he said to the person who brought me to the orphanage.

– The child’s face… ! What the hell happened?

And to the director, the man started explaining the reason why I became like this, like a news anchor. I use words I don’t understand very well.

-This is a child who lost his parents by an arsonist and has burn marks all over his body. The child has no memory of that time, but…

-Ahh… okay…

learned through it.

ah… Seeing that I’m convinced, it seems that my appearance is different from others… Called.

And I… I found out about it thanks to a girl crying and screaming that she didn’t want to sit with me.

That my appearance is like a monster in the eyes of others.

That’s why everyone is avoiding me… .

It’s not like I wanted to be like this. Rather, the bad thing is that the arsonist who set fire to our house.

* * * *

After that, I came to know everything, avoiding contact with others as much as possible.

After dropping out of high school, he took the GED.

For living expenses, I have been living with various allowances sent by the state and doing things that even disabled people like me can do.

That’s why I’m fascinated by the space that is fiction itself… In a way, it might be a natural thing.

For me, a work in which real people appear and act, such as in dramas or movies… Because it was like a very bitter red pill.

Likewise, I didn’t like modern or simple romance.

Because it was so easy to compare myself with my real self.

Compared to them, my reality looked so shabby that I thought I might take my own life.

That said, thriller, horror, and horror were not my taste.

My body itself is already a horror, so why am I reading a novel?

Still, the fantasy was pretty good.

Because it was such an easy way to turn my eyes away from this painful reality of mine.

I could have had a delusion that if I had been born in a different world like that, I wouldn’t have been able to live like that.

However, something was still lacking.

It was obviously a delightful fantasy world, but… Because I couldn’t hide the empty feeling.

… That’s when I found it. genre of romance and fantasy.

The main character and the heroine meet in the world of swords and magic, share deep love, protect and care for each other.

In a world far from reality, I can at least indirectly experience the feeling of love… To me who doesn’t know love, it’s like a drug.

That’s why I was fascinated by him and read and read the genre of romance like a yellowish man… read it again

Until I found this third-class web novel called ＜Academy Demon God Subjugation＞.

And saw. No, I read it correctly.

Read at noblemtl. com

Just like me, who had already been destined for hell from the beginning of my life even though I hadn’t done anything wrong,

She is destined to die due to some incurable disease from the beginning for no reason. Lilithiana.

Unlike me, who ran away from the bitter reality but wanted to somehow feel the emotion of love, reading web novels.

She devotes everything she has to the point of dying in order to win the love of the main character, even just once. Lilithiana.

So I left a comment.

I am so sorry for the effort she put in.

Even though it’s clear that I wouldn’t have been able to do that in that situation, just because she continued to devote herself until she died, she looked so amazing.

With the hope that there would be some kind of reward for her.

And he couldn’t hold back his anger toward the idiot-like main character who was confused among the various heroines even after she devotedly gave her love.

So I left a comment. With a heart that wants her to be happy even a little bit.

‘There is no character as pure as the princess, so isn’t it too harsh to end like this, writer?’

As a result. I was directly possessed by the world in the love story that I had been delusional about so much.

However, would it be a problem if sooner or later he was destined to die with the girl I mentioned?

Still, since I was familiar with the original work, I wonder if I could somehow get away from the set ending like the main characters in ice water… I tried to move, but the result was disastrous.

… I am the woman who gave me a greater love than the love I gave to the main character in the novel… Because he made me die in cold solitude.

She was also the one who made me feel the feeling of love for the first time.

For the first time, she made me feel something like warmth… .

… But even that, I got a chance to get it back somehow.

I also got a chance to repay the grace of love I received from her.

‘But that’s Lily, who got on the NTR route because of the writer… Is this a reason for me to give up?’

I firmly shook my head.

Yes, if it was stolen… If you steal it again, it’s over.

“This isn’t NTR. Rather, it’s just a process of bringing back my woman who was NTR.”

Yes, the thing I hate the most in this world… Moreover, if the ending is a bad ending, it is time to truly educate the NTRs who hate it so much that there is no better way.

“You have to aim for what you’re aiming for, golden sun bastard…”

As long as I’m there, I won’t let any exhausting routes in her life go anywhere.