42. Reasons for discomfort (3)

My fiancé’s eyes were empty.

Marion stood facing Maxime and said nothing. The servant, Zhang, looked at the atmosphere of the two without saying anything, and then quietly backed away. The hand was holding the doorknob.

“By the way, I hope you two can talk a lot.”

There was a sound of the door closing, but Marion did not see it closing. Her eyes were drawn to Maxim’s figure. It was a decent outfit. Should I say frugal, or should I say that I didn’t have the energy to care?

A plain red vest could be seen beneath the simple, unadorned frock coat. And beyond that, a white shirt without a brooch. It wasn’t the clothes with all the splendid decorations of noble children left in memory.

I wanted to see the face more closely.

Marion carefully observed Maxim’s face. Even knowing that it was rude, Marion couldn’t stop looking at Maxim’s expression and eyes.

Beneath the neatly trimmed hair, a golden eye that has lost its shine is located. Although the tails of the eyes were horizontal, the sharp expression gave the illusion that the tails of the eyes were slightly raised. The mouth was hardened. I couldn’t see the desire or desire that I usually see when I look into people’s eyes.

What should I say?

Marion was perplexed. Things were going very differently than she thought. The fiancée, Maxim, seemed unwilling to say a word. Feeling like she would spend all of her time standing still if she stayed like this, Marion took action.

“…Shall we sit down?”

Marion mustered up what little courage she had and said so. The low voice was barely audible even in a room where only the ticking of the clock could be heard.

“…”

The fiance’s dead eyes moved. Maxim’s eyes look at Marion. Marion could see that Golden Eye’s gaze had begun to scrutinize her from above.

The gaze passed Marion’s jet-black hair, came down to her pupils, and stayed there for a moment. It’s probably because he’s looking at the mask he’s wearing. Marion unwittingly stopped moving her hand toward the mask. It passes the nose and stays on the same hardened lips. His gaze did not go lower than that.

That moment felt very long. Maxim belatedly nodded as if answering Marion’s request. Marion nervously pulled a chair and sat down. Maxime, who had been watching Marion sit down, also pulled a chair and sat down when Marion sat down.

“Would you like some tea?”

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Not knowing why she was saying this, Marion offered Maxim tea. Marion accepted Maxim’s silence positively, and poured tea into her own teacup with Maxim in turn. Taking the steaming cup, Marion slowly savored the tea on the tip of her tongue.

To be honest, I didn’t even know how good it smelled or tasted.

Marion was still very nervous. The tension caused by fear didn’t completely go away, but it started to fade. However, an unknown tension was tightening in Marion’s chest. Marion brought the teacup to her lips again.

Maxim on the other side was quietly looking down at the teacup. As if looking into a mirror, Maxim’s eyes stared at the steam rising from the teacup. Marion could not stand the atmosphere any longer and hung her head.

“thanks.”

Marion raised her eyebrows and looked up. Maxim raised the teacup to the saucer and took a sip of tea. Marion heard Maxim’s voice for the first time. It was a lower voice than expected. He hadn’t said anything for quite some time, and his voice was cut off little by little.

Maxim quenched his thirst and looked at Marion.

The spirit of hostility had faded. Now Maxim was literally empty. Dead eyes and lifeless faces. It was receiving the sunlight that leaked into the room, creating a contradictory atmosphere.

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Neither Marion nor Maxim were able to talk, and spent their time sipping tea. Maxim did not ask about the mask Marion was wearing. Marion also did not ask questions about Maxim’s expression and eyes.

Marion could not afford to be interested in Maxim. The tension did not go away. The fear also hasn’t gone away yet. However, when I saw Maxim contemplating something while holding a teacup, I was worried about what that person was thinking right now. Shrinking in fear, Marion didn’t even have the courage to blame Maxim for not opening her mouth first.

It was almost an hour after they had shared a teacup for the first time.

A long, thin sigh escaped Maxim’s mouth. Marion trembled and looked at Maxim. Maxim set the teacup down on the table. Marion, unaware of anything, thought that sigh contained criticism directed at her.

must have been disappointing He probably hates his fiancé for being like this.

Marion thought so and took her hand away from the teacup. The hate was so familiar that it made me sick of it.

It might be better that way. Rather than end up being sold to a nobleman with bizarre tastes, it would be much better to be hated and break off the marriage right here.

When Maxim’s mouth opened, Marion closed her eyes tightly. It was not difficult for Marion to imagine what words would come out of those gaping lips.

However, the words that came to Marion, who was assembling all sorts of accusations in her heart, were far beyond her expectations.

“…You’re a little, very late in greeting.”

Marion opened her eyes and looked up. The temperature of his voice was low, like the expressionless expression on his face, but his words showed consideration. It was a consideration I had received in a very long time from someone I was seeing for the first time.

I wasn’t used to caring. A temperature above disgust was not very pleasant to Marion. Marion thought it was fortunate that her voice was lukewarm.

“My name is Maxime Appart.”

Maxim greeted Marion with a straight posture.

Greetings by exchanging each other’s names.

Marion responded with a slightly trembling voice to the act she hadn’t done in a long time.

“I am… sorry. My name is Marion Borden.”

The voice was still low, but Maxim showed no complaints about it. He was still holding on to his expressionless expression.

“There will be many more things to face with me in the future.”

Marion put her hands under the table and nodded. Maxim spoke to Marion in the same, even voice.

“I won’t trouble you like today. Excuse me… so many. I am.”

Maxim apologized. Marion’s eyes trembled faintly.

Greetings and apologies were exchanged after a long time, so I couldn’t calm down at all.

“No. me too…”

Marion twitched her horse’s tail. It wasn’t a shame. On the contrary, Marion’s face was turning white. Any consideration beyond a certain amount seemed to return as poison to her.

“There were many instances…”

Still, Marion spat out the words to the end.

Awkward atmosphere again.

There was no more tea left in the teapot. Marion unconsciously picked up the teacup, saw the empty teacup, and picked up the teapot, but had to put the teapot down.

smart.

There was a knock on the door. Marion hastily allowed the people outside to come in.

“Did you have a good time?”

The person who entered was Jang, as expected. Marion glanced at Maxim and nodded.

“How was Maxim?”

Maxim looked at the market with even cooler eyes. Zhang saw Maxim’s eyes and slowly stepped back.

“What, shall we finish the Eolchu seat? Since the meal is ready, I will take you to the dining room first.”

“My father…”

Zhang shook his head.

“My master has gone out and has not returned yet. If you are late, he has given orders to entertain the two of you first.”

Zhang looked back at the two of them. Maxim stood up from his seat while shopping, and Marion stood up in the back as if bewildered.

Such a cluttered, somewhat funny time was the first meeting between Marion and Maxim.

Didn’t expect it.

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No, I was looking forward to it. He hoped that the fiancée he was waiting for would be someone who fit perfectly with the name Borden he knew. Treat yourself like trash, laugh at yourself and be vain.

“Would you like some tea?”

And Maxim’s expectations collapsed spectacularly.

The girl sitting in front of Maxim was not someone he could have thought of that way. Blue eyes were visible under the mask. Blue eyes trembled with fear. It wasn’t smoke. Maxim could easily guess that the girl was used as Borden’s throwaway card.

Maxim had once seen those empty, frightened eyes.

Maxim slightly killed the burning hostility. He opened his closed mouth. The fact that the expression on his face that returned even after apologizing was that of a frightened pale face aroused a certain feeling along with hostility towards Emile Bordain.

It took some time for Maxim to realize that it was a sense of identity.

—

It was two weeks later that Maxim and Marion met again. It was because of the request of Emile Bordain.

Marion faced Maxim again. Maybe it was because I couldn’t feel hostility from Maxim, but fortunately I didn’t feel the fear I had when I first met him. Marion had her first proper conversation with Maxim.

It was a story about drinking tea. Where did the tea leaves come from, do you drink tea often, what kind of tea do you like, and what do you like as a snack to accompany tea?

In fact, it was awkward even to have a conversation. And Marion’s vigilance continued.

And after a week, Marion and Maxim met again. Maxim’s family invited Marion to the mansion as a courtesy.

The third conversation was about the apartheid estate.

“Why don’t you take Marion for a walk? You’re not going to talk about anything in the mansion anyway.”

At her father’s urging, Maxim took Marion for a walk on the hill behind the mansion. Behind the low hills were green hills rising higher and higher. The spring hills were green and smelled strongly of earth. The blades of grass were still wet. Marion’s ankles were wet with dew.

The grass over the hill was soft. Coniferous forests and mountains stretched out behind the hills. Maxim looked at Marion, who was looking around curiously, with bitter eyes.

Marion spoke in a low voice to Maxim, who was slowly walking with her.

“This is my first time walking in a place like this.”

Marion’s face was white. Even in spring, the weather was chilly.

“It is a beautiful forest.”

“It is one of the few prides of the estate.”

Maxim’s voice could be said to have softened.

“I wish there was a scene like this in the royal capital.”

After saying that, Marion hurriedly shut her mouth, probably thinking she had talked too much. Maxim did not bother to answer. On the windy hill they walked. The interval between those steps was still far.

The fourth meeting took place a week later. It was a very unexpected meeting that Marion asked to see. Just like when they first met, they drank tea in a room where refreshments were prepared. It was two days before Maxim left for his new post.

Maxim, as usual, had a very polite manner of speaking, and he didn’t talk much. Marion had a conversation with Maxim, and, as if he was bothered by Maxim’s way of speaking, he started talking while Maxim was drinking tea.

“…Please feel free to call me now.”

said Marion. Maxim raised his eyebrows slightly and listened to Marion’s words.

“comfortable…?”

Marion nodded passively.

Well, Maxim was four years older than Marion. The reason she continued to keep her distance and be polite was because of her feelings of guilt, as well as from Maxim himself.

Maxim touched the teacup and looked at Marion. Thus, when Maxim looked at Marion without saying a word, she would lower her face with pale cheeks as if in terror. Maxim couldn’t bear to see his love for Émile Bordaeng boiling up every time he did that.

Marion, as expected, bowed her pale face.

“If… you really don’t want to… I don’t care. Being over-the-top…”

“Marion.”

Maxim interrupted Marion. Before those eyes went blank again, I felt like I had to say something.

“Yeah…?”

“I will call you that. Marion. Instead, call me comfortably.”

“but…”

Maxim’s eyes meet Marion’s. Marion thought that Maxim’s golden eyes were not cold for the first time. Marion doubted her eyes for the first time. Why do you think that the first thing to dwell in Maxim’s empty eyes was worry about himself?

“I won’t tell you not to use honorifics. Just call me by my first name.”

Marion stared blankly at Maxim. Maxim looked at her bewildered expression and smiled wryly.

“Is that so?”

“….Yeah.”

Marion saw Maxim’s first smile. It was a wry smile, but that smile was clearly directed at him. The raised corners of his mouth were tugging at Marion’s gaze, mixing with the first emotion inside the gold. Eyes similar to hers were looking at her with concern.

Why is that person looking at me like that?

Marion felt a slight tremor.

Is it fear? Is it tension?

Marion shook her head inwardly.

So what is this trembling?

Marion bit her lip so Maxim didn’t notice. Beneath the glove, the right hand covered in miserable wounds trembled. like blaming yourself. Marion was so resentful of her own burn marks that were hidden underneath the mask that day.