43. Reasons for discomfort (4)

“Did you say you were going to your new post?”

“yes. In two days, I will be leaving.”

Maxim nodded at Marion’s question. I could sense her hesitation as she tried to ask the next question. Maxim did not urge the hesitant Marion.

“Where are you… going?”

Marion’s voice was small.

“I was assigned to a place quite far from the capital. It’s a province called Ebel…”

Maxim murmured. For some reason, it was hard to say that I was going far.

Eber was a region that had to pass through two cities in the royal capital. It was a rare place. There were not many monsters coming out, and there were no rough terrain. There was no need to worry about public order or the article directly. However, the city was like a street corner that many wagons from the upper ranks passed through to enter the capital, so the knights had to be maintained.

“Do you still have to stay in Ebel?”

Marion asked.

“If I don’t get transferred to another location, I think I’ll probably stay at Ebel.”

is that so.

Marion muttered and nodded. Black hair rustled. The conversation was cut off. Maxim and Marion said nothing to each other. The appearance of Marion that Maxim saw was a canary who had lived her entire life in a cage. A canary who can’t get out of the cage even though there is something stuffy.

Maxim put the teacup down.

Maxim didn’t know if he would make the best choice in this damn situation. It was so overwhelming just to be in pain, but I couldn’t stand watching someone else suffer without being able to show it on the outside. Maxim did not obey reason.

“Marion.”

Marion raised her head. As usual, it was an uneasy eye. It was too much arrogance to save. If you are in a position to save yourself, why are you saving others? It was just that Maxim thought that he couldn’t be more wary of this person.

“Shall we take a short walk?”

Marion looked perplexed. His eyes were blinking and his mouth was twitching. Did I mention that I shouldn’t go out? Maxim bit his teeth hard so that Marion wouldn’t notice.

“If you’re walking… Hey, that’s…”

“I’m going to wander around the streets of the royal capital. Even if I just sit here all the time, I’m just bored.”

Marion’s hands were gathered in front of her chest and wiggled as if she didn’t know what to do.

“You don’t want to go out?”

If she said it was okay or that she didn’t want to leave, Maxim wouldn’t move, but Marion shook her head as if that wasn’t the case.

“No… I don’t hate it. I just felt like I needed to… prepare for going out…”

Marion said that and bowed her head.

“I’m sorry… it’s been so long since I’ve been out like this…”

Maxim’s face hardened slightly. The damn bastard named Emile Bordain must have never really given Marion any attention. Instead of paying attention, they would hate and persecute them.

“it’s okay.”

Maxim said firmly, leaning on hatred. Maxim’s eyes harden and meet Marion’s gaze.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

Maxim said, looking into each other’s eyes clearly so that Marion wouldn’t misinterpret these words and put strength into every word. It was the maximum resolution that Maxim himself could wield right now.

The determination of a person who has lost a lot is passed on to a person who had nothing in the first place.

Marion’s blue eyes trembled as light dwelt for a moment. It wasn’t the eyes that had lost their vitality, like those of dolls. Marion’s hands were clasped under the table before she knew it. Maxim asked Marion one last time before hesitating.

“Are you going out?”

Marion nodded without answering out loud. In a small but clear voice, she summoned a servant waiting outside the room. The person who opened the door and entered was, of course, Emile Bordain’s loyal confidant, Jean. He bowed his head to Marion.

“Did you call, lady?”

As Maxim entered the market, he saw Marion, who turned her gaze to him. Her eyes weren’t the ones asking questions, but the ones looking for something. Maxim could not help Marion in his search. Instead of just slowly nodding, he just closed his eyes.

Marion said while shopping.

“…I’ll go out for a while and come back.”

Maxim could sense the very slight shaking of Zhang’s shoulders. But he didn’t show any more and opened his mouth.

“I will ask permission from the master and come.”

“Do I even need the Baron’s permission to go out once?”

Those were Maxim’s words. Maxim was glaring at Jang with cold eyes.

“Master, I’m still worried…”

Maxim interrupted Zhang’s words and sighed as if he wanted to listen. Zhang stopped talking and seemed to be waiting for Maxim to say something.

“…you don’t have to say more.”

At Maxim’s words, Zhang stepped back. Maxim kept watching until he closed the door and left.

“…?”

Marion looked at Maxim with some doubts. Maxim sipped the remaining tea from the cup as if he would not bother to answer that question.

It wasn’t until some time later that Jang came back. I was accompanied by a maid who had almost closed her eyes, and she left the room with Marion, saying that she would get Marion ready to go out. Maxim got the idea that they were acting very calmly.

The servant, Jean, stayed and watched Maxim even though Marion had left the room.

“Anything?”

Zhang looked at Maxim without avoiding his eyes.

“The master wants to see you for a moment.”

—

Emile Bordain was sitting in his study. Maxim stood by the door of the study, facing Emile Bordain. Emil put the pen down and looked at Maxim.

“Did you suddenly have a change of heart?”

Maxim did not answer. Emile Bordain, as always, continued to say what he had to say, ignoring Maxim’s unanswering attitude.

“Earlier, when the count urged us to break up with Lady Theodora, we didn’t listen and were desperate to kill her, but did you change your mind when you saw our daughter?”

Emile Bordain let out a big laugh.

“This, I really should call you son-in-law.”

Maxim responds flatly to the mockery.

“At that time, I fell as if I was going to pee because of my momentum, and you seem to have had a change of heart.”

Emile twitched his eyebrows and shrugged.

“Oh, it’s funny how you don’t hold back and don’t lose a word.”

“The subject change is quick.”

“When did I say I would change the subject?”

Maxim asked Emile in a firm voice.

“So, what do you want to say?”

“No, I called because I wanted to compliment you.”

Emile opened his hands wide.

“I didn’t know you would care for my poor daughter like this.”

“You’re talking about mouth-to-mouth.”

Anger leaked from Maxim’s voice. Seeing Maxim’s expression, Emile let out a laugh.

“hahahaha! Did you really fall for my daughter? I don’t know if it’s the same person as the person who just lived like a corpse. To be so angry for Marion.”

“I don’t know if you think you’re a daughter.”

Even when Maxim was sarcastic, Emile never lost his smile.

“A daughter. I don’t think you’re my daughter. So, why not send it to a good person like you?”

“You’d better be really careful with that damn mouth.”

“Why is it distorted even when I praise you?”

Maxime glared at Emile Bordain, who burst into laughter. Having laughed at him that way, Maxim couldn’t help but think that it was funny.

“I understand. After all, there’s nothing you can do but burst that petty, petty sediment on me. In the end, aren’t you just the tail end of the Benning family? I can’t take the initiative to do anything.”

Emily’s expression hardened. Talking further didn’t do him any good.

“I can’t do anything but make fun of people who are no different from dead bodies anyway. Even though I was scared to the end.”

“Go out and come. Are you going to keep my daughter waiting?”

Maxim opened the door without delay. Emil glared at Maxim as he left. It was Maksim who laughed this time. Maxim walked away from Emil with an empty smile.

—

Marion was fiddling with the hem of her street clothes.

It was a white, wrinkled dress. It was simple with not much decoration. Marion’s skinny body was highlighted because of her bosom. did not calm down It was a different feeling from walking together in the apartheid estate. The time that was achieved only by their will, not the time by others’ advice. Marion was uneasy with a tension she had never felt before.

“Shall we leave?”

For some reason, Maxim had a tired expression on his face. Marion must have been tired of waiting, and she felt sorry for Maxim.

“Did you wait a long time…?”

“at all.”

Maxim shook his head and smiled. Marion was amazed again. If you smiled once, you were a person who showed more laughter. Maxim went ahead and walked. Marion cautiously followed behind Maxim, who deliberately walked away slowly.

“Didn’t you say you didn’t roam the streets that often?”

Marion nodded. Maxim grabbed a carriage stopped by the side of the road. The coachman smiled happily as he saw Maxim sending Marion to the seat first.

“Are you two young lovers spending quality time together?”

Maxim couldn’t answer and smiled awkwardly, and Marion blushed a little when he heard that. Marion lightly put a finger on my reddened face. heat. He felt a bloody heat that he had never felt before.

It was noon, the time when the sun was in the middle of the sky.

Through the window of the rattling carriage, Marion was watching the streets of the royal capital. Maxim did not look out the window. The main street of the royal capital left only painful memories to Maxim. Maxim tried hard not to think of Theodora.

“I had long forgotten that the royal capital was such a vast and crowded place.”

Marion said in a sentimental voice. In her field of vision, the streets flashed by, reflecting a variety of landscapes. Merchants who come and go like the ebb and flow of the tide, aristocrats in old-fashioned clothes holding their heads stiff, and children running recklessly through the streets.

Marion’s eyes seemed to be looking at something strange, yet lonely. Thinking she had seen enough, she turned her head forward. Maxim’s eyes were locked as if he had fallen into a very deep well. Marion intuitively sensed that the emotion contained within the gold was melancholy.

“Maxim…”

“Why, Marion?”

Maxim quickly raised his face and looked at Marion. It seemed that Maxim was trying to erase the melancholy from his eyes.

“Are you in a bad mood?”

Marion had no choice but to ask. He was worried that those negative emotions might have been caused by himself. It was something she would never normally say to anyone, so Marion regretted it immediately after uttering it. Fortunately, Maxim gave an answer before Marion could speak.

“It’s not bad.”

Maxim said so in a voice full of bitterness.

“What’s going on…?”

Marion mustered more courage. Maxim did not disapprove of her question. On the contrary, it seemed that he was a little more willing. As if confiding in his worries, Maxim talked to Marion.

“Exactly what happened.”

“Your eyes look sad.”

Marion said that, not realizing that the saddest wet eyes were her own.

“It was sad, Marion. It’s something you may not be able to overcome in your lifetime.”

Marion was watching with concern, but the melancholy in Maxim’s eyes faded before he knew it.

“I’m sorry, Marion. I can’t tell you more.”

“No… no, Maxim.”

Marion couldn’t understand her actions. He couldn’t understand how he was losing his guard against Maxim before he knew it. I couldn’t understand the way he threw words of concern for him and had curiosity that he couldn’t have.

The carriage stopped at the center of the royal capital.

Maxim got off the carriage first and held out his hand to Marion. Marion looked at the hand. It was a rare hand that was intact. Hands covered with calluses and wounds. Marion reached out her right hand and placed it on Maxim’s palm. He felt his hand through the glove.

Maxim held Marion’s hand gently and helped her out of the carriage. The coachman was watching the two of them with a hearty smile.

“This makes me happy.”

Maxim smiled bitterly and paid him his wages.

“Have a good time.”

The coachman ran off the horse. Maxim spoke again to Marion, who was not adjusting to the crowded atmosphere.

“Shall we walk slowly?”

“…Yeah.”

Maxim held out his hand to Marion again. Marion hesitated. If I held that hand, I felt like something irreversible would happen. Maxim was standing there waiting. Marion held her hand so as not to make Maxim wait any longer. Only then did Maxim start walking down the street with a relieved expression on his face.

The two walked the royal road.

When I passed a spacious plaza, a street corner lined with tall buildings, or a store with rare items on display, I stopped for a moment to look at things. Like all normal people, they were enjoying their daily life.

“You know the streets well.”

Marion said that while looking at Maxim, who skillfully led her around the place. Maxim nodded with a wry smile.

“yes. Because I’ve been there a lot.”

After exiting the alley and entering another plaza, clowns and musicians were performing on the street. Maxim and Marion rested in the chairs provided in the park, and walked more slowly with the music of the musicians in the background.

Busy passers-by seemed to have no time to care for them, but now and then Marion could feel the eyes on her. Mostly, there were many curious eyes about the mask she was wearing.

Maxim must have noticed that gaze as well, so he pulled Marion towards himself, who had been walking apart by more than one arm while holding only his hand. Marion’s face was clearly dyed red.

Time passed very quickly.

The time has come when the afternoon sunlight is about to turn into sunset. Maxim and Marion climbed a certain hill and arrived at a place where traces of an old castle remain. It was a cliché to visit Noeul, but it doesn’t fail. Maxim looked at Marion, who was watching the sunset as the wind blew the black carpet.

The sunset was beautiful.

Marion recalled her day with Maxim.

When was the last time you felt happy? Marion thought so and helped herself. I never imagined that I would be able to feel these feelings. At the same time, the fact that he couldn’t solve Maxim’s gloomy expression caught on. The fact that he was leaving for a while now caught on, and the eyes of the street that were on him caught again.

In the end, I just go round and round and fall into the swamp.

Marion thought so and put strength into her hand holding the railing.

“Marion?”

“…to.”

Before I knew it, Maxim was beside me, looking at me. Marion felt her heart thump and drop. It was definitely a feeling that could not be described as fear. Rather, it was more of the opposite. The golden eyes, bathed in the sunset light, were shining brightly. Her eyes are completely different from when she first met them. Those cold eyes at that time wouldn’t have been able to shine even if it was under this sunset.

“it’s okay?”

Marion hurriedly nodded and bowed.

“sorry.”

“what’s the matter.”

Maxim soothed her in a soft voice, but Marion only shook her head.

“I really enjoyed myself today. It’s been too long since I thought so… I couldn’t even say thank you.”

There was pain in Maxim’s eyes. Marion continued. If you couldn’t help him, shouldn’t you at least take a step forward.

“By the way… rather than constantly saying thank you, my negative mind preceded it. I… I thought it was okay for someone like me to act so pathetic…”

Marion’s words were incoherent. Maxim carefully wrapped his hands around Marion’s shoulders.

“I’m fine, Marion.”

Marion didn’t understand why Maxim said he was fine until the end. Marion clasped her hands around the mask.

“Why are you okay? I… I’m such an ugly person, and I can’t even help you when you’re sad…”

Marion’s words trembled.

“I have no reason to be so nice to you…”

Maxim supported Marion so that she would not collapse. It was clear that Maxim’s one-sided consideration and kindness was poison to her. Maxim, however, did not let her fall further.

“Me too.”

Marion looked into Maxim’s eyes.

“I too… I will live with my sins for the rest of my life. Horribly selfish, self-serving hypocrite. He is someone who has no reason to be nice to you.”

Maxim told Marion clearly.

“I… so…”

At Maxim’s sudden self-deprecation, Marion was filled with embarrassment. I didn’t know why he had such a scar, but Maxim’s self-help was never hypocritical self-help.

“yes. So, let’s think of it as the same thing. We are equal, we are.”

Marion’s eyes trembled. It was neither sympathy nor hatred from others. That was sympathy. It was the feeling two people in a similar situation felt for each other.

The sunset was dark. The sky dyed red casts a strong light on the two on top of the ruins.

Tears welled up in Marion’s eyes.

“You can be grateful, but there is no need to be sorry. Because we are the same.”

Tears fell. Marion grabbed Maxim’s hand. This time it was the left hand without the glove. It was rough, but the thin hands conveyed warmth to Marion’s.

like that. Someday I will find someone similar to me.

Since when did you think they were similar? Probably from the first time I saw those eyes. The damn forced engagement, ironically, brought some redemption to Marion.

Marion looked up at Maxim.

“…When I leave for Ebel, I will write a letter.”

Maxim nodded.

“yes. I will reply.”

“I will write often… often.”

Marion said that stubbornly. Maxim said he understood, and quietly wrapped his arms around Marion. The memory of the castle ruins in the sunset must be the most poignant yet deeply lingering memory among the memories of the two of them for three years.