Episode 56 – The Wizard with the Long Tongue

“… So after that, he turned into a high magic eunuch, right?”

“It’s a vulgar expression, but you can see it as such.”

“Don’t you resent Irina Mediah and Zeke?”

Then, Werner gave an unexpected answer with an expression that he was still bothered by everything in the world.

“What’s the point of blaming someone?”

“What?”

“I was stabbed by my carelessness, and since they are both parents, I worried about their daughter first… Where is there any element of resentment towards others?”

Is this baby fucking adult? I think Jesus, Buddha and Confucius will allow this bastard to enter the adult club.

“At the time, I was too young, so I was mistaken. If I made a mistake, I would beat the nobles, smash a pot that was a national treasure, and even beat the crown prince and the princess with magic.”

Adults were just fucking villains. Even the Joker is an asshole. Just because the story is pitiful doesn’t mean it’s okay to do bad things. But this crazy bastard is not in a good mood, so he goes around doing all sorts of corrupt things.

At the time, people looked at me because I was young, so I must have been a kind of law enforcement boy.

“Every time that happened, Zeke said he took care of it. He bowed his head to the scumbags and compensated for the damage I caused at his own expense.”

“Did you apologize for telling me about that?”

“No, Zeke-hyung just silently took care of things and didn’t even scold me.”

I’d never heard of such a setup.

“And Mediah-sister admonished me until the end, telling me to return to my old self. I think it’s funny to think of the image of you chasing after me while holding Airi.”

Werner, who had been hugging his legs like when he was a child, had the look of a 29-year-old as a 14-year-old. When I was young like that, thinking that I went through something like that made me feel a little sad.

“Fuck it, if you know what you’ve been through because of your daughter, fuck it conscientiously…”

“No, my brother and his wife didn’t even know I was hurt until the end.”

What the fuck is that bullshit about Uganda sending nuclear missiles to the US first? why don’t you know that

“Why don’t you know that.”

“I told you not to tell the other brothers and sisters.”

“Fuck are you crazy?”

“I didn’t want the two of them… and the grown Airi not to feel guilty towards me.”

He was crazy, really crazy. You wanted affection so much, but you abandoned the easiest way to seek affection and just went astray? Common sense could not understand it. There has to be a degree of improbability.

“I’m going to tell you because you’re misunderstanding, but what I wanted was affection. It wasn’t a feeling of guilt that I became like that because of you.”

Isn’t love that stems from guilt also love? People realize the feeling that someone is precious through regret. Werner smiled as if he had read my thoughts, took another sip of an herbal cigar that had a pain-relieving effect, and exhaled the smoke.

“What do you think is the most distant or opposite feeling from love?”

“Um… Hate? Indifference? Hate?”

“No, the correct answer is guilt, regret and sympathy.”

“As a kid, so there’s no persuasiveness and it just looks like a second grader.”

“Regret and guilt arise only after a series of conditions or events, and are quietly held in the heart. Love grows without any conditions and is expressed loudly and wildly.

“It sounds like a difficult story to understand.”

“Should I express it as a car in the world you used to live in? Giving flowers to your child sitting in the seat next to the driver’s seat, and offering flowers to the grave of a child who died after being accidentally run over by the car you were driving… Can you say that these two are flowers with the same feelings?”

Werner, who had thrown a very philosophical subject, this time opened the stopper and began to drink. Something looks very dangerous, but only the appearance is like that, but the actual soul is old, so it doesn’t matter.

But there was something I really wanted to say to such a Werner.

“This is not a half-assed bastard.”

“…What?”

“So I won’t say anything, so everyone find out why I’m having a hard time. And please love me without any conditions. ?”

“…Don’t just analyze people’s emotions.”

“If you want to be loved, you have to talk. You don’t express it, but how can the other person know? Are you giving a damn to your friend who worried about you?”

Then, Werner put down the bottle and began to think for a while.

“As you say, it may be true. But I…”

Werner couldn’t make excuses at the end and was just staring at the ground. Werner could know what I was thinking or feeling, but I couldn’t read his mind.

He put his hand on my shoulder and said.

“Maybe… I might not have loved anyone since the moment I lost the Great Magic.”

“what?”

“I told you. Regret is one of the most distant emotions from love. So let’s just ask.”

Werner’s body suddenly started turning into flower petals. It’s not that I feel bad, why are you suddenly disappearing alone?

“Heh… ‘I drove a nail through my brothers and sisters’ hearts’… It was so accurate that I had nothing to say. It’s the only regret I left in my life.”

Werner said that was his only regret. It was a story that he did not regret being stabbed while saving Airi or not living a properly happy life.

Werner put a finger on my forehead.

“So tell the people around me what I want to say someday. No, I enchant them to say it automatically when the time comes.”

Werner tried to cast a spell on my soul by force. How dare you hypnotize me?

“Then what are you going to do for me?”

“Looking at you, you’re not good at using magic. I’ll give you all the knowledge I know about combat. If you’re in danger sometimes, I’ll try to help.”

“Dil.”

After all, cool deals are the best deals. They give you the skills and proficiency as they are, but why are you refusing this? There is no such benefit in the world.

“Then, is it enough to tell only those older brothers and sisters?”

“No, tell all the people who cried even a little because of me.”

“Isn’t that too broad?”

It was too hasty to put a stamp on the contract.

“You should have been careful when agreeing to the terms and conditions.”

Most of Werner’s body had turned into multi-colored petals and disappeared, leaving only his upper body. In that state, Werner closed his eyes and began to recite a spell. I felt an aura that was far from magic somewhere.

“My soul is your soul, and your soul is my soul. All opposites are one side and the other side, and we are no different from this. According to this law, I transfer all traces of my soul to you.”

Werner began to hand over his power to me. Something warm and cozy passed through his forehead toward his heart.

All the knowledge, skills, and emotions he had accumulated began to assimilate with me. It was a really strange and strange experience, but I didn’t hate it. Rather, should I say that the strange tickling feeling is addictive?

“I was definitely foolish. So you walk the other way, live Werner Alton’s life for me, not in the sense of a game.”

Most of Werner’s body had been destroyed, and he left these words with a bright smile for the last time.

“And show me. The best ending a man named Werner Alton can reach. The greatest happiness a man named Werner Alton can enjoy.”

Werner was the second person to leave a will telling me how to live.

Personally, I had a crush on the character Werner itself. He was a big man, cared for his disciples, loved his older brothers and sisters, was humble to the end, and always put others before himself. I just thought it was a flawless good man that often appears in games and novels.

But he was also human after all. He was a normal person who harbored jealousy, got angry at people who were innocent, and eventually wanted to be loved by people. He was never a bodhisattva.

And the kind of person who starts to realize regret only after reaching the end. It wasn’t like a fictional character with only one simple aspect. A person who has the same aspect as me to the extent that it gives me goosebumps.

Goodbye, Werner, I’ll be sure to listen to your request. I don’t know what other people ask for, but I’m the kind of person who always listens to requests from the dead.

A door appeared in the white space where I was confined, and I turned the doorknob and went outside.

Werner was no longer a stranger.

I have now decided to accept that I am Werner.