Chapter 93 – Almost Perfect

 

I remember the day when I found out that she had a double personality.

 

‘I’m Hiwa Arina. Nice to meet you.’

 

Vividly, I recalled the time when I met her in the infirmary.

 

She was originally like a rose, bloomed more gracefully and enchanting than anyone else. But on that day, I learned of her secret. The revelation astonished me and at the same time, planted a worry in my heart. What if the real Arina never came out again?

 

I didn’t know how much time passed after hearing her words. A few seconds? Minutes? Maybe even longer? Normally, I would just pass everything off as a joke, but now…

 

The way she looked at me, the way her eyelids moved, the way her eyes peered into my heart. From those gestures, I knew that she wasn’t joking.

 

She didn’t recognize me. She really didn’t recognize me.

 

“No, I made a mistake. My bad, I meant to call Shirona.”

“But you called my name?”

“Because you were next to her. Anyway, Shirona, thanks for the other day.”

 

Shirona nodded her head then gently said ‘You’re welcome~’

 

Arina looked at both of us, seeming unsatisfied with this situation. Honestly, I wanted her to stop looking at me. With this, we were no longer friends nor acquaintances, if she kept doing it, it would just hurt me more.

 

“That’s all then.”

 

I reached my limit.

 

Now that she had forgotten about me, I should stop bothering her. She was in a delicate situation, if I were to do unnecessary things, I might cause irreparable damage to her mind. The death of her dad brought enough shock to her, I shouldn’t add more to her burden.

 

This should be the best course of action to take.

 

Of course, I wouldn’t just wash my hands off. I would still help her, I promised to do it, after all. This only meant that I had to do it from a distance from now on. Well, I’ll figure it out later.

 

“Wait.”

 

As I turned around and took a step forward, Hiwa Arina’s voice echoed from behind me.

 

“Seriously, who are you? Does Shirona have a boyfriend? Are you her boyfriend?”

“Wait, what are you talking about, Arina-san?! Don’t say nonsense like that!”

 

Shirona looked flustered, but Arina didn’t seem to care about that as she stared at me with an inquisitive look.

 

I shouldn’t tell my name to her for now, it would be troublesome if Shirona were to say something that would trigger a big reaction from her.

 

It felt painful, but what else could I do?

 

“I need to go to the toilet, I drank too much tomato juice.”

 

I said that and ran off. I heard someone calling me out from behind, but I ignored them.

 

I held the urge to cover my ears with both my hands.

 

*   *   *

 

‘Seriously?…’

 

After returning from the toilet and sitting down on my seat, I racked my brain over the current situation.

 

What the hell? So everything that I had experienced with her, feelings, memories, everything was gone? I had to avoid her like a stranger from now on? I couldn’t call out to her ever again and I might even graduate without being able to talk to her. Wasn’t this too cruel?

 

Ever since I met her, my life had been more enjoyable. Now, I had to cope with the fact that our relationship, both in the past and the future would amount to nothing?

 

During the class, I kept thinking about her current condition.

 

From that short exchange, I found out that she forgot about me, but she remembered Namiki Shirona. Aside from that, her speech pattern changed slightly.

 

I considered the possibility of her developing another personality, but since she remembered Shirona, that shouldn’t be the case. Both the Venomous Arina and Angelic Arina didn’t share their memories, so based on that case, I could rule that possibility out since she seemed to retain most of her memories.

 

Then, there was her speech pattern. She would never seriously apologize to me. There was a possibility that she was making fun of me, but based on her tone, it was simply impossible. Her tone was serious and apologetic, as if we were meeting for the first time. Normally, she would just chase me away or threaten to kill me.

 

…So what?

 

What could I do to help her, anyway?

 

Didn’t I decide that it would be better for her mental health if I were to stay away from her life? I was an anomaly in her reality, I should never appear in her life again to protect her mind. Besides, her rehabilitation should be nearing its goal, it was about time for me to stay away from her.

 

The day ended without me seeing Arina again.

 

*   *   *

 

Next day. Saturday.

 

When I woke up, the clock told me that the time was 10 am. It was the weekend after all, after the arduous time I spent walking early in the weekdays, I should have had the privilege to sleep in. Viva la Saturday morning. Friday night too, since I could sleep without caring about anything else happening during the morning.

 

Now, what should I do?

 

Should I watch something if the TV is free? I picked up my phone and walked down the stairs.

 

I looked at my phone screen and saw a missing call. Well, sorry caller-san, but my phone was always set on silent whenever I went to sleep. Can’t have anyone disturbing my beauty sleep, after all.

 

[Hiwa Arina   Missed Call]

 

“…Seriously?”

 

It was her? I thought Makoto was pulling a prank on me.

 

That was very brave of her. From her perspective, we had never met before, so how could she just call me like that? My number should be in her contact list, but if I were her and I found an unfamiliar man’s number on my phone, I would immediately delete it.

 

I decided to stay away from her just yesterday and seeing this weakened my resolve. What a failure. But at the same time, I felt glad. There was still something that tied us together.

 

Should I call her back or should I ignore her?

 

Then again, if I call her, she would definitely question me and things might turn downhill from there. I guess I shouldn’t do it, huh?

 

I wanted to hear her voice though, what a shame…

 

“Get! Out! Of! The! Way!”

 

Ugin, who came down from the second floor, kicked me off from behind with the soles of her feet.

 

“Wait, if you kick me from this height, a precious life will be lost!”

“In exchange, the precious lives of the ants you’ll trample to death in your lifespan will be saved.”

“So my life worths less than ants…”

“Mhm!”

“I see. So anteaters are my allies, after all…”

 

I gave up resisting, went down the stairs and entered the living room. Ugin, dressed in her pajamas, also did the same. It was obvious that her intention was to slack off there, just like me.

 

Seriously, she had grown to be a slacker like me. Dear sister, didn’t you use to be so active just a while ago? What brought this change? You started to act like an old man.

 

Imagining you lazing around on the floor while dipping that shellfish in mayonnaise made me feel depressed. Couldn’t you get rid of the shells first? Or probably eat something like dried squid or salmon? You were only a sake away from being an old man, dear sister. Your brother is crying for you here.

 

Sadly, my cries didn’t reach her as she opened the fridge and took out the mayonnaise. I couldn’t bear to look at her anymore, so I ran off to the toilet. When I return, I hope that I will be greeted by my cute Ugin instead of the old man Ugin.

 

After washing my face, I returned to the living room to see that old man Ugin was still there.

 

She was lying on the couch with her mouth full while watching the TV. I wanted to scold her, but I lost the will to do so. In the end, I decided to accept this reality and sat down on the other end of the couch.

 

For a while, the only sound that could be heard was the TV. I silently watched whatever program was on it while thinking about what I was going to do today. I planned to watch a movie or something if the living room wasn’t occupied, but this old man was here. What should I do with her? Maybe I should shove her off with a rag or something?

 

Oi, your navel was showing! Did you show your navel around at school as well? Please don’t! Some people had that kind of fetish, you know? 

 

Buzz!

 

“Woah!”

 

On the table, my phone started vibrating like a magnitude four earthquake. I deactivated the silent mode earlier so the ringtone and the vibrating sound echoed through the living room. I looked at the screen and saw Arina’s name.

 

“…”

 

The phone continued to ring.

 

I continued to watch the TV.

 

Ugin continued to reach for more shellfish while staring at the phone.

 

“Bro.”

“Mm.”

“Your phone.”

“Mm.”

“It’s from Arina-san.”

“Mm.”

 

The phone continued to ring.

 

I continued to watch the TV.

 

Ugin reached for the phone.

 

I saw it and immediately took the phone away.

 

“Eh, I thought you won’t answer it.”

“I won’t.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

 

Of course I wanted to ignore it, for Arina’s sake.

 

But Ugin also had her number and she might try to contact her directly if I were to ignore it. Knowing her, she might find out about Arina’s current situation, that would only spell trouble.

 

In the end, I had no choice but to answer it.

 

“Yes, Sakaki’s speaking.”

 

I left the old man alone and went out to the living room to answer the phone.

 

My voice was a bit shaky because I was suppressing my emotions.

 

{Ah, it gets through. Are you Sakaki Sui?}

“Yes I am.”

{Great. I’m Hiwa Arina, I want to ask something, if that’s okay with you…}

“Sure.”

 

I crouched down. For some reason, I felt at ease after hearing her voice. What a simpleton, this is why I hated myself.

 

{Are you, by any chance, someone dear to me?}

 

My mind instantly went blank. I couldn’t even gulp and I felt the inside of my mouth filled with my saliva. My eyelids started to hurt since they were wide open and I could feel the edge of my eyes starting to get moist.

 

The unexpected question made me fall into silence.

 

I thought it would be like yesterday, she would ask me who I was and nothing more. But then, she asked me this.

 

Why did she think that I might be someone dear to her? How did she even reach that conclusion?

 

{Can you hear me? My, is the reception over there bad?}

“I can hear you.”

{Really? You can hear me?}

“Yeah.”

{So, can you answer my question?}

 

Let’s try to avoid answering that question.

 

“How did you come up with that kind of question?”

{Eh? Um… That’s… The note… No, I didn’t mean…}

 

I see.

 

That notebook of hers, huh? I knew about it because the Angelic Arina showed it to me a while back.

 

No good. There were too many traces of my presence in her life.

 

“I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.”

{…It’s true that I don’t know anything about you, but I have your number and there are a few things–}

“Have you noticed anything unusual lately?”

{Yes, but…}

“What is it?’
{I can’t say it…}

“Is it a memory lapse? Something about your personality?”

{…Wait, how much do you know about me?}

“Nothing, I’m just guessing.”

{That’s a lie. I know you are hiding something. I’ll just tell you this, I used to have amnesia, but a few days ago, I suddenly remembered everything. The people I forgot, all the unpleasant things in the past, I remembered everything.}

 

Everything? Did she mean she remembers everything from before her ninth grade? Was her father’s death the trigger for it?

 

So the current Arina was the Venomous one, as expected. The other one wouldn’t know Shirona and the others that well, she would be unable to handle them that quickly. There was the possibility that their ego merged together, but the other her had a rather strong ego and there would be traces of her personality if that were to happen.

 

{Looking back, I feel like I’ve said a lot of terrible things. I’m such an idiot. I should start apologizing to Shirona and Tsuru. I don’t know why I’m telling this to you even though I don’t know anything about you, but I don’t think you’re a bad person, that’s why I decided to call you in the first place.}

“Don’t worry, I’m not a bad person.”

{I know.}

 

She probably noticed something.

 

No good, Arina, please stop doing that, you’ll just hurt yourself. Please, don’t worry about it, just accept everything and move on.

 

If you try to force yourself to remember everything, your amnesia might come back…

 

“I’m kinda sleepy right now, can we talk about this another time?”

{Yes, sorry to bother you this early in the morning. But, may I ask one last question?}

 

I gave her my most monotonous ‘yes’.

 

{Did I… Fall in love with you?}

 

Trying to keep my voice from shaking, I opened my mouth and said,

 

“No, you hated me. That’s why you forgot about me in the first place. It’s better to forget everything about me or else, you’ll just remember some unpleasant things.”

 

She didn’t say anything after that.

 

I hung up the phone before taking a deep breath.

 

No turning back now.