34 – My Hero (10)

I put Song Soo-yeon on the bed.

She looked too tired to tell her to wash and sleep.

He seemed to be gradually getting hungover. His pronunciation improved, but instead he complained of headaches and nausea.

“Are you going to throw up and sleep?”

I asked her, but she just shook her head without saying anything. And stared at me for a while.

“…..why.”

“…Oops…no.”

“Should I throw up and go to sleep? You know it’s a catastrophe if you do it in your sleep.”

“… o… I don’t like it.”

I shrugged.

“…I know what to do.”

and turn around I added a word or two to her before leaving the room.

“I sleep with my head turned to the side. don’t sleep cold It’s cool to regurgitate it, so I do it. If possible, drink lots of water in between. It will help with your hangover.”

“Uh…where are you going?”

And Song Soo-yeon’s words catch me as I leave.

I turned my head and looked at her again.

“…I have to go to the store. I’m going to organize it.”

“…how are you sleeping?”

“I should sleep at the store.”

Lying on the bed, Song Soo-yeon supported her upper body with her elbow, and her expression crumpled.

Her lips crack open a couple of times.

“…Sleep here.”

“…….”

“…We…we decided to do that.”

“I haven’t decided to do that yet…?”

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Despite her words, as soon as I showed signs of going back, Song Su-yeon staggered and got up from the bed.

“…If you don’t like it, I’ll go to the store and sleep.”

“Ah, okay, okay. Lie down.”

There was sincerity in her words. I can feel that feeling even when I’m drunk and having a hard time.

I had no intention of voiding the effort I had gone through in bringing her here. I felt like I had to put her down and think about it.

After that, when she falls asleep, you can think about whether or not to go back to the store.

….well, actually I didn’t care. I have no intention of doing anything.

It hasn’t changed that Song Soo-yeon is still a person with many scars. I had no intention of touching her, but I didn’t want to touch her and hurt her.

The problem is her mind.

Even though he’s asking me to sleep with him, he might be having a hard time on the inside.

He might be trying to force me to sleep in this room because he doesn’t want to leave the store.

That made me more uncomfortable than I thought.

If you make up your mind to do a good deed, and then make it your heart to become a partner… that might be self-satisfaction.

Song Soo-yeon sees me taking off her coat and falls on the bed again helplessly.

I brought a chair from the room and put it next to the bed and sat down.

“……Do you want to sleep there?”

Song Soo-yeon asked.

“no. I don’t have a good idea yet, I. It’s only dinner. Sleep first.”

“…….”

Her eyes are stained with doubt. I reached out and gently closed her eyes.

her eyes close

“Because it grows up. There is also something to watch if you vomit.”

“…I’m really dying, mister..”

She speaks with her eyes closed.

“It’s a joke, so go to sleep.”

I also gradually killed the laughter so that she could calm down.

And, as is usually the case when you are drunk, you start to hear the sound of Soo-yeon Song who fell asleep in an instant.

I recalled what happened today in the room where the sunset was set.

It was the day when my life was evaluated after the regression.

I remembered the scene where Song Soo-yeon told me of her apology and sincerity. I also remember the moment Solas asked me to stay by my side.

It was the day I felt affection and respect for myself that I hadn’t felt before returning.

All of them put a smile on my face.

I gradually felt at ease. It feels like the accumulated fatigue is flying away all at once. It’s been a while since I drank and played, so my stress went away.

It was a good day. It was a happy day.

The tension in my body gradually eased. Then, the intoxication gradually begins to rise.

Should I close my eyes for a bit?

You just need to sleep for an hour or two and wake up.

I closed my eyes. Soon, fall asleep.

****

Song Soo-yeon opened her eyes.

The moment I closed my eyes was when the orange sunset was setting, but when I opened my eyes, it was late at night.

However, the eyes adapted to the darkness had no difficulty seeing anything.

Her eyes found Jung-gyeom sleeping in a chair next to the bed.

Song Soo-yeon swallowed in vain for a moment in surprise, but soon suppressed the sound.

“……”

The body that was about to be raised lay down again. Then, I watched him slowly.

She couldn’t even understand why she was doing this.

In the first place, today was full of incomprehensible things.

It’s been like that since morning.

As much as they had fought the day before, they had been waiting for him to come find him since morning. I stayed at home so that it would be easy to find, and eventually went to the graduation ceremony.

However, the moment he really appeared, instead of reconciliation and apology, with a heart full of tears, the relationship almost fell apart due to random remarks.

Numerous classmates and parents cursed at him and even hurt him.

At that time, I felt that rejecting him was the right choice… but when I did, I realized that it would be a lifelong regret for her.

Why?

Even after that, things were incomprehensible.

At the graduation ceremony, seeing Solas appearing in front of Jung-gyeom and delivering flowers, I felt a heat of anger. That anger is still vivid, and the emotions come back when I think of that scene.

Even though Solas was nice to her, Song Soo-yeon couldn’t be nice at all.

In my heart, I wanted to curse. I just couldn’t do it for no reason.

I also thought of Jeong-gyeom, who was in tears as Solas complimented him by being nice to him.

Song Soo-yeon unknowingly squeezed the duvet cover tightly.

Why are you doing this?

Afterwards, Solas became Minbom and proposed a drinking party.

When the proposal led to a drinking party again.

The whole time she was drinking, Song Soo-yeon’s heart was dirty.

When I see Jeong-gyeom laughing at Min-bom’s appreciation of soju.

As the two gradually become friends.

When Jeong-gyeom looks at Min-bom with soft eyes.

No, it was just that every moment was too difficult for her.

I hated seeing Jeong-gyeom pouring a drink for Solas.

He wanted to be the only one pouring alcohol for him, and he hoped that he wouldn’t even clink glasses with Minbom.

Bad thoughts towards Minbom also bit their tails.

It seemed like she was playing fox all the time. Pretending to be cute, pretending to be innocent. It seemed like it was wagging its tail.

As much as she struggled with the same arguments, she once promised that she would not have these thoughts with other women, but all of those promises were blown away in front of Minbom.

Why is this?

She drank a lot of alcohol in a frustrated heart, and as a result, she fell asleep for a while.

The moment she came to her senses, she was leaning on Jeong-gyeom’s shoulder.

She deliberately didn’t open her eyes.

Still she couldn’t understand what I was doing.

But the memories did not end there. While feeling his warmth, Minbom asked.

‘…… oppa, do you really not like Su-yeon?’

I was so surprised by the question that I even fainted.

From then on, my heart was pounding like it was going to explode, and it became difficult to control my body.

She wanted to hear the truthful answer. Nothing else was needed.

It was also the moment when her lifelong wish not to be loved by strangers was overturned.

He wanted to hear that Jeong-gyeom was in love with him.

‘…..I like it, but if you ask me if it’s love, it’s not.’

But his answer was the opposite.

The moment I heard that, it was as if my heart stopped beating fast.

Jeong-gyeom did not love himself. She was asleep, so there was no need for him to lie.

I felt my heart squeeze.

The painful pain came to the point of embarrassment. It was the first time in my life that I felt so sick. It hurts even more to remember that his voice was truer than ever.

why is it so painful

At the same time, it was a moment when several things were understood.

I can understand why he said to look for another part-time job.

It’s also understandable why he didn’t give her a lustful look at her unlike other men. There was a reason why I couldn’t hear the dirty inside.

All because I didn’t love myself.

“….haha….”

Looking at the sleeping Jeong-gyeom, Song Soo-yeon’s breathing quickened. eyes get wet

I hate to believe it, but this is the truth.

he didn’t love himself Everything he’s done for me so far…as I said at the beginning of our meeting, was for self-satisfaction.

he didn’t lie

She wasn’t special to him.

…And, it couldn’t be anything special.

“haha…!”

In the meantime, I only knew that he loved me, and I had hit so many walls.

The distance between her and Jung-gyeom was greater than she expected.

I thought it was close, and kept pushing him away, but he was already out of reach.

In that gap, Solas landed.

There was no wall between Solas and Jeong-gyeom. Rather, some force was at work.

Solas easily floated across the wall that Song Soo-yeon could not cross, the wall he built himself, and approached Jeong-gyeom.

Song Soo-yeon had no qualifications to stop it.

You just have to watch them grow closer.

The two of them, who match as well as they are good, have no choice but to keep getting closer.

When you get that close…

Song Soo-yeon’s head thinks of a family she doesn’t want to think of.

When they get this close, the two become lovers.

The two are together in a much closer look than they showed today.

affectionately and affectionately.

Min Bom will win the future that Song Soo-yeon pushed away with her own hands.

It was not difficult to imagine Jeong-gyeom being nice to his girlfriend.

I treated myself this much well even to myself who didn’t love me, but would my lover do less?

He who laughs and is happy over trivial things will fall deeply in love with Solas, who appreciates everything.

‘And the affection toward me will diminish.’

“Oooh…!”

Song Soo-yeon threw up for a moment. She immediately got out of bed and ran to the bathroom.

There, he vomited out various things that were inside his body.

Even in the midst of this, her body was taking care of itself. So that Jeong-gyeom won’t hear this ugly sound.

“…haha…”

Is it because of the toe? Tears flowed.

After flushing, she rinses her mouth and walks out of the bathroom.

Jeong-gyeom was still sleeping soundly.

Song Soo-yeon’s heart began to beat painfully.

……It seemed like I knew it now.

I never learned it, it took me too long to figure it out on my own…but now I feel like I know it.

Why is my heart so stuffy? why is it so hard to breathe

Why do I get angry and happy over trivial things when it comes to Jeong-gyeom?

Why don’t you want to show him your embarrassing side?

Why do you not like Solas so much?

Why is his touch not disgusting?

why is my heart beating so fast

Why do you regret it so much?

“……”

Song Soo-yeon secretly knelt beside Jeong-gyeom.

She stretched out her hand slowly. His trembling hands moved closer to him.

Then, he put his hand on his hand.

…… As expected, there was no disgust. Rather, I felt affection.

And that fact made her suffer.

Even if you don’t want it, the memories of the past come back.

I remember the words I spit out to him.

‘Don’t think it’s strange. Got it?’

‘Fuck, I’m just confessing. really.’

‘Because you can see all the tricks? It’s disgusting, so don’t do it.’

‘I hate men. I will never fall in love.’

Every single word stabbed her heart.

She was already at a point of no return, but now she realized this feeling.

Song Soo-yeon took Jeong-gyeom’s hand.

Her body arbitrarily puts her hand on her cheek.

Exhaling a trembling breath, she looked up at Jeonggyeom.

The expression is distorted to its own accord.

she was so immature.

In fact, I still couldn’t believe it.

But circumstantial, it was certain.

“…Do I love you, mister…?”

Jeong-gyeom was sleeping soundly.