5. Obsession

But I couldn’t sleep because I wanted to sleep.

My mind was confused.

I don’t know when the hell I was fooled.

Is it from when we first met? Maybe from when I said to get rid of my addiction a little bit.

Or maybe it was when I had a lot of fun drinking with Park Jin-soo.

Every moment with Kyung-hee was suspicious.

“Whoa…”

Eventually, I got up from the bed and crossed my arms.

No matter how much I thought about it, the answer didn’t seem to come out.

Then a thought struck me in the notebook under the bed.

“……………………………”

perhaps. the words written in the notes.

It could have been a reflection of himself.

It is not a new novel based on my own dependence as I thought.

It could have been an essay that contained his own feelings and life.

So I took out the notebook under the bed.

The notes were stamped with dates.

And I opened the first notebook I had written.

Then I realized. What if even this is Kyung Hee’s goal?

“……………………………”

In the end, I had no choice but to close the note.

I thought it would be better not to read it.

It was better to know nothing than to get false information.

Then, when I thought about the novel, I took out my phone and ran the app.

Until now, I had never entered at Kyunghee’s request.

As soon as I ran the novel platform that had never turned on the alarm, I saw a familiar novel.

My pen name was written on it. It is also a novel that is advertised from generation to generation on the novel platform.

“……………………………”

The number stamped on the favorites was running toward 50,000.

Also the title of the novel. explanation too. notice map. It would be nice to say that all of them were made with Kyung Hee and me as the subject matter.

I stood still for a while and read the reviews and all that stuff.

And I will open the door and leave after suppressing the feelings mixed with disgust and fear rising up.

Kyung-hee was in the kitchen, slicing salmon with a hedge knife.

“To make rice bowls. Do you like sashimi? First of all, I want to eat bowls of rice bowls. So I’m making soy sauce too.”

“…………………………..”

“Tell me, Siwoo. I bought all the ingredients. It’s all thanks to you.”

“Where did you cheat on me?”

“I can’t tell you that. But remember. I am always yours. I am yours. I am your slave.”

“……………………………”

“So you can use it however you want. Siwoo can endure any kind of treatment as long as he’s with you.”

Kyunghee laughed.

But I couldn’t help but laugh. And even the ring on my hand felt heavy.

So he took out two rings and put them on the table.

Kyeong-hee cried as if it was really sad.

But the ears did not go down.

“………………………”

“I was thinking that you would hate me too, Siwoo.”

“There’s no way to fix it.”

“That’s right. Siwoo. None. Because, that’s about it.”

The knife that had been slicing the salmon a while ago dug into Kyung-hee’s left arm.

While I was taken aback by the unexpected situation and stiffened, Kyung-hee let out a snort as if nothing had happened.

Blood dripped onto the floor. It mixed with the smell of soy sauce boiling in the kitchen, and it became a familiar scent.

It was a smell I had never smelled in food. While panicked once more, Kyung-hee slowly turned off the stove.

Then, as if he really couldn’t stand it, he said.

“There you go, Siwoo.”

“………………………”

“I, I. You wouldn’t dare stab someone you know, right? Then you’d be sad. If you’re sad, I’m sad too.”

“…to the hospital. Let’s go. You’re seriously injured.”

“It’s okay, Siwoo. Because a wound like this heals quickly.”

Kyunghee pulled out a gray knife.

And hairs sprouted from the pierced arm.

When the fur disappeared again, there was only blood on the arm, but no wounds.

Kyunghee looked at me with mad eyes and smiled.

“It feels like my intestines are breaking. The very fact that there are other bitches flirting around you.”

“………………………”

“I want to cut their intestines and eat them. I want to eat their flesh raw. I want to grind their blood and bones and drink them.”

“It’s crazy.”

“That’s right, it’s okay to say I’m crazy. I’m crazy about you Siwoo. I know. I know. I know. I couldn’t help it.”

“then no.”

“That’s right. You can’t do that. Then you’ll be sad. So, even if I wanted to stab you, I held back.”

“……………………………”

“If you wanted to stab me, you stabbed me. As much as I hurt, you’ll hurt too. You’ll be sad. I hate that more.”

“I should have called the police when I first met you.”

“If you think so, I can’t help it. Like I said, if you’re going to end it, finish it with your own hands.”

Kyunghee grabbed the blade and put the hilt into my hand.

Then, moving my hand, I brought the point of the knife toward his heart.

“You know, it reminds me of the first time I learned to cook.”

“……As for the gray knife.”

“yes?”

“It’s not a knife for stabbing people. I didn’t buy it for that.”

“sorry.”

I couldn’t poke either. Thoughts that Kyunghee could be okay ran through her head.

Even if it wasn’t only that, the memories I had with Kyung Hee flickered.

So I walked to the sink and washed the gray knife.

Meanwhile, Kyunghee wiped her arm and wiped the blood off the floor.

“Coupling. I’ll put it on.”

“Okay. You’ve got it for now.”

“sorry.”

“Donburi. Did you study?”

“Yeah. I’ve opened my cell phone beforehand. Actually.”

“……………………………”

“Your expression says since when did you cheat. But Siwoo. I can’t tell you.”

A monster in the form of Kyung Hee stood there.

A monster with red eyes and hair down to his waist.

A monster whose feet have changed to those of a rabbit and thick black hair has grown on its hands.

It was like a wolf in a fairy tale.

If it weren’t for the ears.

“Because if I tell you, you’ll run away. You’ll abandon me too.”

“……………….no.”

“The gap is long. My heartbeat is different. My eyes are shaking. It’s a lie.”

“……………………………”

“I wanted to hide it a little bit more. If I did that, I’d really run away, so punish me for what I said today.”

“You’re not asking for forgiveness?”

“If you do something wrong, you have to be punished first, Siwoo. Forgiveness comes after you’ve been punished.”

“……………..”

“It’s okay, Siwoo. I’m strong. Even if I receive all of your anger, I won’t break.”

“I don’t know.”

My head was blank as if I had drunk a lot.

I was dizzy, and all sorts of thoughts were running round and round.

So I stood in front of the cutting board to do something else.

And I tried to slice the salmon.

But it didn’t cut well. It was natural.

Because it was full of mischievous thoughts.

“Salmon isn’t meant to be like that, Siwoo.”

“……………………………”

“That’s right. Move as my hands move. That’s how I write.”

At one point, Kyung-hee hugged me from behind and laughed out loud.

Then he grabbed my arm and moved it gently.

It wasn’t long before the salmon was cut into bite-size pieces.

Kyung-hee turned on the gas stove and started making soy sauce.

I washed my hands and headed to the living room.

And I sat in the seat where Kyunghee always sits.

I sat down without thinking, but I immediately knew what kind of seat this seat was.

“……Crazy.”

This was a place where I could always observe no matter how I moved.

Whether I go outside or come in outside.

Whether you leave the room or come in the room.

Whatever he did, he could watch everything from this spot.

It was like having a human CCTV installed.

“Do you want to eat rice bowl, Siwoo?”

“I’ll make it and eat it.”

“Sauce… it’s here… but judging by the look on his face, I guess I’ll have to throw it away or eat it all.”

“Since when did you start playing with food?”

“That’s a secret too. Really.”

“Was the blood in that vat yours?”

“Yes. Of course. It was my blood. I’m not particularly superstitious, but they said that if you put a part of your body in the other person’s food, it will connect.”

“……It’s disgusting. Don’t prepare my food from now on. I’ll make it.”

“Yes. If you want.”

Kyunghee smiled and smiled.

It was as if I wanted to, so of course I should.

Even though I knew it was pointless, I made a new sauce myself and served the rice bowl.

If you eat while looking at Kyunghee like that.

Maybe old memories or emotions will come back.

Wouldn’t Kyung-hee atone for what he had done wrong?

I emptied the bowl while thinking about it, but there was no sign of it even when the bottom was exposed.

Rather, every time I ate, I just continued to vomit.

I wanted to throw the bowl at Kyunghee’s head right now.

I wanted to run away. I wanted to go out and never come back.

I wanted to shout to Kyunghee that you are now a stranger.

But I couldn’t.

The memories were flickering, but it was because I thought Kyung-hee would like it.

Then, it seemed that Kyung-hee would run out of control.

It seemed that he would come to ask me to end his life after hurting the people around him.

Your acquaintances don’t like meeting you, so I killed them all.

Wouldn’t you like to punish me with death?

I already heard such hallucinations and hallucinations.

And when I looked up, Kyunghee was crying.

“I’m sorry that my dependency is so severe. I’m sorry I couldn’t live without you. I’m so sorry that I’d rather run away and get hit by a car and die.”

“……………..”

“But, Siwoo. You already knew it. You knew there was light. Sunflowers can’t live without the sun, and they can’t think of times without the sun.”

“Just because a sunflower doesn’t necessarily need the sun.”

“That’s right. There are substitutes. Yes, Siwoo. I can respect whatever choice you make. But, remember that one thing.”

“What.”

“Don’t regret going then. If you plan to leave, kill me now and go.”

I got up without saying a word and went out with my wallet and bag.

I heard Kyung-hee’s greeting from behind, but I ignored it.