171. Longing is the furthest feeling from understanding

***

blink.

Even as I opened my eyes in a daze, the morning sunlight shining inside the dormitory was dazzling.

Sunday. It was already Sunday.

“…”

Even looking at the sunlight, my body felt refreshed. To the point where I feel like today is the best out of the past few days… .

“Whoa.”

But I let out a deep sigh.

Seruk.

He raised his upper body and brushed his disheveled hair once.

“Really, this is a headache just like this.”

Knowing a person’s mind was a way to become more conscious than one might think. That’s because someone has a crush on me. What’s more, the opponent is not a cadet, but an ‘instructor’.

The depth of thought, countless assumptions, and thoughts I had last night were too many to count.

“…Really refreshing.”

Even as I loosened my shoulders once, I was relieved enough to wonder if my arm was right.

Then, all of a sudden, Instructor Adelia’s hand on her shoulder came to mind.

Her hand, which had been stroking my body for a while… .

“I bet there was no selfishness in that touch.”

Even though I mumbled, a mischievous laugh leaked out.

Still, I thought it wasn’t. Even if Instructor Adelia had feelings for me, she would check my body and satisfy her selfish feelings… or make secret gestures.

He shook his head and stood up.

match!

Then he patted his cheek loudly and tried to shake off the thoughts that were filling up in his head again.

“I have to think about today again.”

…I had something else to focus on right now.

Appointment to meet today. And at the same time reaching level 5 of the attribute.

He had to complete his growth in preparation for the apostle who would come to the academy next Thursday.

“Status window.”

Tring!

As soon as I uttered the words, out of the many items on the status bar that appeared in my field of vision, I only checked one item.

—

[Spike Lv.4 growth rate – 98%]

(Attribute Level 5 Reach Keyword: Sacrifice has been met.)

—

“good night. This is really smooth.”

As soon as I checked the growth rate, I was satisfied. When Karite achieves the growth of her characteristics. I, too, felt the ‘comfort’ that my characteristics had grown.

As a result, the growth rate of spearmanship increased by a whopping 3%. From now on, the remaining percentage until the 5th attribute level is only 2%.

“Possible enough.”

There are 4 days left until next Thursday. Until then, you must have reached level 5 of the attribute.

Seruk.

He rummaged through his heart as he lightly loosened his hands. By reaching level 5 of the attribute and receiving help from Anastasia, he would safely overcome the crisis that would come.

There was nothing wrong.

So compared to two weeks ago, when I prepared for the sacrificial apostle, Leteia, I felt very relaxed now.

“……”

As soon as I lightly warmed up, I started getting ready to go out.

It is a cornerstone for that, and now is the time to maintain important human relationships. Anastasia, who will be of the greatest help to me.

…Today was a day of regular appointments with Glesia, her family.

“If I can even help Glesia grow, it would be the best.”

As I muttered, vague anticipation rose.

perhaps. I was filled with vague confidence that that might be possible.

***

ㅡUnderstanding.

And there was a saying that longing is the furthest emotion from understanding.

Someone had said that, and I don’t know where she heard it, but Glesia felt that it made a lot of sense.

It is said that the moment you look at someone with the emotion of admiration instead of looking at someone objectively, you are already far away from understanding.

In that sense, he had a great longing.

“…I did.”

that has changed in no time

The time I met Chun-seong Han was obviously to understand him, but I got away from the essence of understanding before I knew it.

And I longed for my sister and made it my goal to stand by her side, but I even had a strange feeling whether I was looking at that path properly.

…Maybe I got lost at some point.

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ!!

so-so-so-so-so!!

However, those thoughts were cut short by the bursting barrage of cold air.

rumbling… … !

A feast of hundreds or thousands of ice crystals filling the training ground in an instant. It was beyond spectacular and showed the extreme of unrealism.

The training ground was completely frozen in the cold, and the older sister at the center gave off an overwhelming presence, making it impossible to take her eyes off her even for a moment.

A sight of overwhelming power, standing alone, with the air, space, and everything else under it.

Who would dare to approach her sister?

I was overwhelmed right now just by seeing the fragments of my sister’s power.

“… … .”

The older sister I met after three years was completely different from the past.

So even now, even though I opened my mouth in a daze, no words escaped my mouth.

Feelings of intimidation, incongruity, and at the same time admiration and respect, indescribable emotions swirled endlessly in my heart.

‘My sister is special after all.’

I wanted to understand her even more, but I couldn’t understand her even now.

No, there was never a single time that I understood my sister.

My sister was more special than anyone else, and even among the geniuses that everyone says are geniuses, she was arguably the overwhelming ‘genius’.

Now, looking at the power of the older sister who has grown bigger than in the past. Of course I couldn’t understand my sister.

“…”

While experiencing the true nature of her sister’s sweating characteristics, she really didn’t feel anything.

The feeling of being able to see the spectacle of power that exists in a faraway place beyond comprehension.

to follow in her sister’s footsteps.

One day… I was trying to see the strength of my sister in order to stand proudly by her side… .

As in the past, I was again overwhelmed.

“Glesia. I am still in this state. There are two more stages of opening left.”

I blankly nodded at my sister’s voice that echoed coldly.

“…I see.”

Even now that my sister has manifested this power, I dare not dare to catch up, but my sister is not enough with this, so she is talking about the beyond.

Two more steps still have the strength to open up… … .

“And you are doing well enough now. I don’t think it’s bad to target me and try to catch up. But don’t be in a hurry. If you try to go straight to the next one, you can definitely reach it. Then power will come to you at some point. You just don’t have to miss that time.”

…The sister’s blunt words continued.

I carve it even though I don’t understand it at all.

‘Because my sister was always right.’

My older sister, whom I respect and long for, was never wrong, and was also the most trustworthy and loving family in the world.

“I’ll engrave it.”

While answering, my gaze was still focused on my sister.

When the older sister in the countless ice walls, which seemed to never break, began to move slowly, the ice wall embraced her as if showing mercy.

Sasasac… … !

The ice wall, which crumbles like pure white powder whenever her sister’s body touches it, opens the way for her as if she were an exception, but even that sight was full of mysteries.

Countless fragments of frozen ice decorate the atmosphere splendidly. And I felt as if I could finally feel the power contained in those fragments.

‘If there was someone in that fragment.’

It was easy to associate that he would have exploded right away and met his death.

The ice wall that my sister created while testing us over the past few days is incomparable to its solidity.

So I naturally realized how considerate my sister was for us.

‘Really… my sister too.’

A small smile leaked out, but she was slowly approaching me.

Sasasasasasasak… … !

Even while blankly gazing at the sight of the ice wall crumbling as if she was only considerate of her older sister.

The sight was always beautiful and mysterious.

It is an overwhelming sight even compared to the one I saw years ago.

‘The characteristics are as if they are alive.’

I also realized that I was weird thinking like that. Characteristics are nothing more than powers originally granted, so the expression itself to be alive could not be attached to characteristics.

Sasasac… .

However, the unnie’s characteristic ‘Binghwa’ gave me the feeling of being alive every time I saw it.

The characteristic is that I love my older sister as if I were alive. So I try to protect my sister somehow. It feels like you’re dedicated even if you give your all… … .

It wasn’t that she was manifesting a characteristic, but she even felt a bizarre sensation as if she was moving according to her sister’s will.

So… I was a bit jealous of the character.

It was because countless ice walls seemed to be considerate of her because they couldn’t like her.

‘Sister is my own sister. She’s my sister… … .’

good.

The older sister stopped walking and suddenly smiled lightly.

“Then shall we do this?”

At that, I involuntarily shook my head.

“a little bit. Sister, let me see a little more of the characteristics.”

“yes? okay. Glesia said she misses it… that’s about it.”

The older sister spoke softly and sat down on an ice wall.

It seemed so strangely perfect.

Because the unnie who reached perfection was always beautiful to see.

“So, Glesia.”

“yes… ?”

“I’m kind of surprised to be honest that you are looking at my attributes and admiring them. It was like that in the past, and it is the same now.”

“That’s right, I’m looking at your sister’s characteristics because I want to.”

“That you’re purely looking at the characteristics. That in itself is amazing. Most people are so overwhelmed that they don’t think any further.”

Even with her words, I felt like my heart was revived by her characteristics.

“I am surprised that you can have an appreciation while looking at the characteristics. Most people get frustrated or don’t want to see a gap that is too big.”

I didn’t feel that way at all watching my older sister smile and talk.

Rather than being frustrated, the more I saw her sister’s characteristics, the more I wanted to become stronger.

This moment is just one of a kind of process that makes me try harder to understand my sister… … .

“ah… .”

I was startled to stop thinking.

“what’s the matter? Glesia.”

“Sister, sorry. I have an appointment today.”

Even as he spoke, he straightened up.

“Appointment?”

“yes. I promised to meet Han Chun-seong, but I completely forgot. I’m sorry, but let’s meet again tonight. I think I should go now.”

“…Uh. Yes. Okay.”

As soon as I heard my sister’s answer, I hurriedly moved my steps.

‘understanding… .’

The man I had started dating in order to understand my sister was Han Chun-seong.

But that I forgot my promise to him, it was a really big mistake.

As I checked the time belatedly, my heart pounded even louder.

There were only 10 minutes left before the appointment time at 11 am.

‘I’ll be late like this.’