65 – meaningless

The night after returning to the dormitory after a long and boring class.

It was the time when the ticking clock pointed to 1:00 in the morning.

The sun has already fallen over the horizon,

A room where only the darkness immersed in the soft moonlight and starlight descended on its own.

There was a sound that filled the room where silence lingered.

ㅡ square square…

It was the sound of the feather pen in my hand drawing on the paper.

The quill, which has been treated with magic so that the ink does not run out,

Black letters were engraved on the paper step by step.

Let’s move the fan hard for a while like that,

A light sigh escaped his lips.

“Whoa…”

It was a feeble exhalation, wet with fatigue.

Was it because he kept holding on to the fans?

My wrist felt a little sore.

I rubbed my sleepy eyes and put the feather fan down for a moment.

When the creaking sound of the feather fan disappeared, the room was once again filled with serene silence.

“f*ck…..”

The inadvertently uttered swear words cut through the silence.

Fumbling with his right hand, he picks up the shimmacho box placed on the desk.

Then he takes out a cigarette and puts it in his mouth.

ㅡChak, chiik…

Light the fire, and take a deep breath.

The scent of fragrant herbs wafts around.

Watching the smoke rise for a while like that, somehow it felt like the sage time was coming.

Shibeol, I didn’t know I would be studying.

I came to this world to study something I hadn’t done in my previous life.

“f*cking final exams…”

I wiped off the ink on my hands and pressed my tired eyes.

For a while, when I was exhausted and stretched out on a chair,

A knock is heard through the door of the closed room.

ㅡ smart

—-Brother-nim, I’ll go in.

Rachel’s voice is heard, followed by the closed door being opened.

Through the open door is a girl with brown pigtails.

The girl makes eye contact with me and gives me a soft smile.

“Isn’t it hard? Do it while eating this.”

Rachel said that and put the fruit platter in her hand in front of me.

Fruits such as strawberries and lemons, which are good for recovering from fatigue, were neatly cut.

“Lay…..”

I looked at her with moving eyes on a plate that felt full of consideration.

After all, isn’t it Rachel who thinks of me the most?

“Whoa, don’t you like it too much?”

“……Thank you, I’ll eat well.”

I would like to express my sincere gratitude to Rachel,

He picked up a slice of lemon from the plate and put it in his mouth.

When it touches teeth and teeth, the pulp explodes with a pop.

The sour juice flowing through them hit the tongue.

“Ugh… I’m waking up.”

“Isn’t it? After all, it’s best to wear them when you’re sleepy, right?”

Saying that, Rachel smiled brightly.

I was dazed by that lemon-like smile for a moment, then came back to my senses and turned my head.

……I feel like something is heating up in my face.

I guess I turned the heating too hard.

“By the way, Ray… you’re not sleeping? It’s already 1:00 in the morning?”

“Umm~ I’m sleepy, but… it’s a bit awkward to sleep with the young boy studying until late at night…”

What, did you care about that?

“I’m fine, I’m fine, so go ahead and sleep.”

“……really?”

“Yeah, besides that, Ray has to get up early tomorrow, right? You must be tired, so you should go to bed early.”

Let’s wave our hands and say that I’m okay,

Rachel seemed to be lost in thought for a moment.

“Then, when will you go to sleep, Bocchan?”

“Me? Umm, I’m… well, I’m studying because I can’t sleep…”

“……Are you not sleeping well these days?”

Rachel’s expression darkened slightly at my words.

I smiled awkwardly at him and scratched the back of my head.

“Well… insomnia doesn’t go away easily…”

“The sleeping pills I gave you last time…”

“Ummm… it didn’t seem to have much effect.”

It’s because of the “iron spirit” that the sleeping pills don’t work, but…

Rachel let out a low drool, as if it was the fact that I couldn’t sleep.

“It’s strange… You must have slept well that night.”

“If that’s the case…?”

“You know that day, when the young boy cried.”

“ah.”

Are you talking about that day?

The day after the banquet hall raid incident.

The day I cried and fell asleep in Rachel’s arms.

“Well, why are you talking about that day…”

As I remembered what Rachel had whispered to me that day, my face grew hot and I averted my gaze.

Rachel was lost in deep thought, perhaps not noticing my reaction.

While there was silence for a while,

Rachel, who had been brushing her chin for a while, suddenly opened her mouth.

“Uhm, by any chance, Bocchan. Shall I sleep in the Bocchan’s room?”

“……?”

What…? what did he say now?

you want to sleep together? in my room?

I said, ‘Did I hear it wrong?’ Let’s tilt our heads for a while,

Rachel looked at me with serious eyes and said.

“I wondered what it would be like if I brought the young master back like that day.”

“Eh…?”

“The bed is brought from my room, and next to the young master…”

The words that followed made me feel dizzy.

.

.

.

In the end, to Rachel who suggested ‘sleeping’,

I was able to bite her after making a promise to myself, ‘It’s really okay’ and ‘I’ll take the sleeping pills.’

“ha…..”

Exhausted, I slumped down on the chair.

Rachel is so…

It’s kind of like… a little bit like that.

I don’t think I know, so something more…

“……Let’s study.”

I shook my head and brushed off my thoughts.

The moment I brought the desk back like that and tried to grab the feather fan.

ㅡTitling!

A familiar mechanical sound rang in my ears.

I tilted my head at the unexpected alarm and opened the status window.

“What, all of a sudden?”

ㅡTitling!

[You have 9 unread messages yet.]

[Sender: Administrator, Tees]

“message….?”

what’s the message

Was there such a function in the status window?

In the word ‘message’, which was never seen in the original work or in reality,

I clicked on the status bar with a question mark above my head.

When the index finger touched the transparent blue window,

A few new windows popped up next to it.

[message box]

[9 messages from Thies]

“Tis…? Who is this?”

It’s a strangely familiar name.

Is it someone I know?

{Tees}: Hey, are you there? (09:26)

{Tice}: Please contact me when you confirm. don’t wait (09:42)

{Tys}: -From the Absolute God, Tinamius. (09:43)

“Goddess…?”

After checking the piled up message history, I muttered blankly with my mouth wide open.

‘From Tinamius’ written in the last message. because of the word

‘No, why did the goddess come out of there…?’

While I was out of my mind in a sudden situation,

The alarm sounded again in the status window.

ㅡTitling!

[A new message has arrived.]

{Tees}: Oh! You finally checked your message!!

.

.

.

I scratched my head with a look of bewilderment.

Then, he spoke to the blue window that floated in front of his eyes.

“Uh, uhm… So Goddess?”

{Tees}: Yeah, that’s right! It’s been almost 4 months, kid!

“Eh…”

A dark room where the dawn has descended.

I was in the middle of a conversation with the goddess who suddenly appeared over the status window.

No, is the conversation correct?

One is texting and the other is verbally speaking, so something is ambiguous.

{Tis}: I can’t help it, child… If I intervene any more than this, the world line might collapse…

“Ah, that’s fine. Just text me.”

It’s a bit inconvenient, but the world line doesn’t collapse.

When I think so, I nod my head for a moment,

I tilted my head and asked the blue window.

“Uh…but what happened all of a sudden? Goddess…”

{Tice}: Ugh… that, that’s it…

A goddess who is timid and unable to speak easily.

It’s obviously text, but how can you stutter…?

{Tis}: Didn’t I make you possessed in a novel called [The Hero Beloved by Everyone]…?

“Yes, that’s right. That’s why I’m here, right?”

{Tys}: That’s actually… It seems that the target of the possession was a little, wrongly designated…

“……Yes?”

What is this sound…?

Possession is wrong?

I stared blankly at the text containing the incomprehensible content.

“That… what, you mean…?”

{Tis}: That’s… the truth is… because the system suddenly had an error, you should have been possessed by Alan’s body…

I didn’t understand what the goddess said.

Possession is wrong? Is it a system error?

If I were originally, I should have been possessed by Alan’s body?

{Tice}: Mi-I’m sorry… that the system is causing an error, it’s never happened in 3,000 years…

no, no wait.

I can’t follow the flow.

what are you talking about now

“I, possessing Raiden’s body, was an error…?”

was it an error? The 4 months I have passed?

what kind of bullsh*t is that

then…

then…….

“Then… what was the meaning of all the hatred and hatred I had received for four months…”

{tis}: ……

“What is the meaning of all the pain I’ve been experiencing…”

I had an appointment.

A promise to help you find happiness.

I didn’t believe it at first.

At that time, I was pushed to the limit, and I was strangled by the rope of misfortune.

The promise was doubted, denied, ignored.

But in the end, I put my little finger on that promise.

As much as I was unhappy, I longed for happiness.

I wanted to believe that happiness could be given to me.

“You promised… that you would give me happiness…”

That’s why I endured.

After being possessed by Raaden’s body,

I received a lot of hate, loathing, and contempt, but I persevered.

“I, with what kind of heart did I endure this…”

Passing through the time of pain, and rising to the line of life,

Because I never doubted that the promised happiness would come at the end of the precarious line.

However…..

are talking

The one who made a promise to me with the pinky finger,

is talking to me

that it was a mistake

that it meant nothing

It was just an ugly struggle, wriggling, yearning for happiness.

At the end of the swaying single rope, there was no promised happiness.

“Nonsense… This isn’t it… Everything, everything was a deception? Did you play with me?”

{Tice}: Oh, my child… that’s not it…

“Answer me!!!!”

screaming and screaming

Feelings of emptiness and emptiness pile up to form a field of reeds,

On top of it, blue sparks of anger and sadness fly.

The flame that touched the reed field became a wildfire and spread.

“He said it would help you find happiness…! He said everything would be fine!!”

When I wished to let go of everything and disappear as a handful of ashes.

It was you who held me

It was you who took my hand and tied it once more to the stake of a terrible life.

“How can you… how…”

I mean I endured with that word of yours.

ㅡI promise you that in my next life you will be happy.

Believe in that foolish promise,

—-Hey, hey, look over there…! The crazy bastard is back…

Even then,

—-Raiden, you. I don’t know what your intention is…

Even then,

ㅡWhat are you doing here, senior?

ㅡStop it, don’t come closer.

Even then…..

all.

I believed in you and endured…

“……”

It’s futile.

I hold my head in the emptiness that rushes in.

and then mutter

Please don’t tell me it’s an error.

If so, just hold on hope until the end…

I would have struggled hard alone.

Something hot forms in your eyes.

He shakes his head and shakes his head.

A pale solid line runs over the dry cheeks.

As I weep so alone,

An alarm sounded continuously in the status window.

{Tees}: Oh, my child…. Ooh, don’t cry…

{Tees} : I’m very angry, and it’s absurd, but…

{Tis}: Listen to me just once, just once.