3 – I am not a warrior

The fact that the world was saved by the extinction of the demon king was a story that could only come out of a children’s book.

Even before the Demon King appeared, the world was overflowing with monsters.

The demon lord is just an existence that adds strength to demons and leads them.

That’s why the kingdom still had to maintain an army, control adventurers, and fight monsters on the front lines.

Of course, defeating the demon king was not meaningless.

It’s because the monsters are much weaker than when the demon king existed.

However.

Even so, the demons were still powerful enough to kill people, so even after defeating the demon king, the warrior party could not leave the battlefield.

“Then I understand that the Swallow Plain part will be taken over by the warrior and the others.”

“…Yes.”

In the barracks on the front line fighting those monsters, the hero Claire nodded slightly. The general who stayed on the battlefield for a long time and fought monsters was quite serious, blunt, and scary.

I should have gotten used to it now, but I couldn’t help but feel intimidated in front of people of high rank.

That would also be the case, because during the journey to defeat the demon king, this kind of work was always taken on by someone else.

“Do you have any needs?”

“Ah. That’s… the support of the priests for recovery…”

“That’s… I’m sorry. But didn’t you guys complete the important mission of defeating the demon lord without a priest?”

“that…”

“I ask you this time too. Every time the priests for recovery leave their seats, the front line can collapse.”

It wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t right either.

It was because they valued the maintenance of the front line and would not hand over priests to those who were entrusted with an important mission in attacking the enemy along with that maintenance.

Its antinomic and contradictory.

At the cold words of the general who only thought of themselves, Claire only bit her lip.

Sensing her anxiety and dissatisfaction, the general lowered his head.

But I couldn’t help it.

I knew what had happened to the priests and other volunteers who had joined them several times, and now there were no volunteers anymore.

“I beg you. Many soldiers here believe in you.”

What if he

He must have protested and got angry here. instead of yourself.

But now he’s gone.

As a result, Claire, who became depressed, muttered in a self-deprecating voice.

“…Yes. That, and the wise man…”

“We’re looking into that by requesting it from the Adventurer’s Guild.”

“…Can I go?”

“I won’t stop you if you really want to go, but… Haven’t you been fooled a few times already? There’s also the adventurer’s guild where he confirmed it himself, but he said he ignored it.”

“No, that can’t be.”

“Really.”

After letting out a heavy sigh, the general thrust his sword into Claire’s chest, who was leaning on it with thin anticipation.

“Because I saw it in front of my eyes.”

“…ah.”

“Well. I’ll have to return to the capital sooner or later. Then go back and check it out. Now, about the next battle…”

After that, we talked a few more times, but nothing was heard. Even in this meeting, Claire only realized her shortcomings once again.

After a long meeting, Claire walked out of the barracks with a haggard face.

The more she stepped on the soil stained with mud and the blood of monsters, the more her white boots got dirty.

The smooth and clean skin became rough and the ends of her hair were splitting.

And, the biggest change of all was that the orange eyes that were like the sun were gradually losing their light.

It’s impossible.

it’s tough.

afraid.

All kinds of negative emotions and stress were building up, but Claire couldn’t show them.

he would have been harder

Claire, who entered the barracks on the battlefield, which was quite good, bit her lips tightly and collapsed as if she were about to collapse.

It was a much better barracks than during the journey to defeat the demon king, but the inside of the barracks was extremely quiet.

Better beds and better tables.

The barracks used alone were very spacious.

But no.

Leventia, who was a member of the hero’s party, is fighting elsewhere.

Evangeline was injured in the last battle and will not be able to return to the battlefield for a while.

and.

and.

sage too.

He who had always been by their side had already left.

No one is here.

Things got much better after the wise man left, but I couldn’t help but feel even more loneliness and pain.

“Whew…”

Claire sighed and barely got up, sat down on the bed. Power was put into the hand holding the fluffy duck down blanket that was hard to find on a battlefield like this.

The blanket, which was hard to see on the battlefield, was very cold.

Much better than the old sleeping bag the sage had prepared.

The stronger the hand gripping the blanket, the faster the hero’s mind was spinning.

what’s wrong

what did i do wrong

Claire gave an answer with a spirit that seemed like it was going to collapse at any moment.

No, I already knew the answer.

‘Sage…’

After pulling out the warrior’s sword and proving that he is a warrior himself, he has the mind to save the world by defeating the demon king.

Leventia, an excellent knight, and Evangeline, an excellent archer.

I made a party with the two who had a relationship from the past and made a promise to defeat the demon king.

Let’s do it together no matter what.

Let’s defeat the Demon King no matter what the hardships.

I met him for the first time when I lifted a glass after sharing an oath at the tail bar.

He looked at them with a bewildered expression and asked to join the party.

However, the divine protection of the past, present, and future is only given to three people.

That’s why I couldn’t accept him.

but he

The man who identified himself as a wise man followed the party with a smile, saying that he did not need protection.

He just wanted to help the warrior party defeat the demon king.

After that, he took himself as a supporter of the warrior party.

I’m sorry.

He couldn’t even get a blessing.

Thank you.

Because they just helped themselves without expecting anything in return.

What did we do to him?

With trembling hands, she pulled a small picture from her bosom. A precious picture in a frame.

when it wasn’t long after you started your journey.

After defeating the first demon king’s subordinate, it was a picture drawn by a poor artist as a souvenir in the village.

Looking at the picture, Claire closed her eyes tightly.

although the color has faded.

Himself, Leventia, and Evangeline in this painting.

And the sage was smiling very happily.

Since when did laughter disappear from the party?

If he had stopped Leventiana Evangeline from swearing at the wise man, would he have been able to keep this smile to the end?

When I was young, I used to lie in the meadow under the night sky as a blanket and listen to it from my father. The journey of a warrior’s party is romantic.

It’s a beautiful journey to defeat the enemy of the world called the Demon King.

But in reality it was not.

Staying overnight in rough terrain is basic, and the Demon King’s attack to block the hero was relentless.

There was also a time when the nobles who promised support tried to use the warrior party to protect themselves.

I had to move quickly, but there were many times when I had to just pass by the village where I stayed and suffered from the monsters.

A journey that was romantic for some was painful for them.

As the journey continued, the mind was worn out, and the vague courage that was forged at the tail bar on the first day quickly shrank as it was blocked by reality.

It was the wise man who healed them on their fearful, lonely, and painful journey.

When I was sleeping overnight, I made a place for you.

I have prepared delicious meals for little money.

When he couldn’t visit the village, he managed to hunt and feed them even though he was starving himself.

In a party without a priest, he took care of recovery, and sometimes fought together.

When the aristocrats tried to use them, they voluntarily stopped them and let them go the right way.

Is that all?

Whenever their hearts were worn out, they made them laugh with strange lute playing.

When a tough battle was over, he made me feel comfortable by telling silly jokes.

When you have to let go of something small to avert a bigger danger.

When they had to pretend they didn’t see the village’s pleas to save them.

He smiled kindly, saying that since you will remain, you have to do bigger things.

Because of him, I could feel a little bit of romance in the difficult journey.

By the way.

why did we do that?

“Haaa…”

A number of reasons could be given.

Because my heart is worn out

Because it was hard.

and.

Because the sage didn’t leave no matter what he did.

The female knight used to get angry at him for vomiting out swear words and comforting him when he was in despair from the arduous journey.

The proud and arrogant elf archer hurt the sage who comforted him by uttering harsh words whenever he was hurt by his high pride.

and many more.

He said he didn’t want to eat it when he thoroughly managed the small amount of money and cooked an appetizing dish.

The next day after screaming and crying that this kind of rice was boring.

He had comforted them with a better dish.

The next day, tired of boring jokes and swearing.

He used to visit clowns and learn jokes.

The wise man always smiled and was positive.

To him like that… What did he say?

A clever brain digs into the past. The cold, unstoppable memory he dug out of the wound was a block of ice that was hard to touch.

they are hard

It’s so painful.

You asked why you could laugh.

you don’t know

Unlike us, who have been given a mission and blessed to continue this painful journey, you know nothing.

you are not hard at all

When he reached his limit, Leventia and Evangeline tried to protect themselves by pouring verbal abuse at him.

Even at the verbal abuse that would have broken his heart if it were him, the wise man just laughed and did not change the next day.

Even though they were sorry for that graveness, the two of them got worse.

It couldn’t have been.

their grievances and grievances.

It was because the wise man was the only one who was pampered in the heavy mission of defeating the demon king.

at that time. what did he do

My body trembled with the bitter disgust that the cold memory had evoked.

Claire squeezed her arm.

I squeezed it so hard that my fingernails cut my white arm and dripped red blood, but I couldn’t care less.

he would be more sick

It would have been more difficult for a sage who replaced the duty he had neglected.

Originally, the one who had to appease and lead the party members was the leader, the hero. Even if it’s your duty.

Still, Claire didn’t do it.

It had to be.

Because she was hard too.

Because I was afraid of being hated.

It’s hard for me too, but I couldn’t bear the pain and despair of others.

That’s why I stayed away.

Without paying anything in return, I just turned my eyes to the pampering of a wise man armed with pure goodwill.

Without even thinking about how much he was hurt.

Without a blessing or a mission, he turned away and passed on the fact that he only followed them for their own sake.

because he’s fine

Because he was following because he wanted to.

If it was really hard, I would have left, but I didn’t.

Leaning on such nice and sweet sophistry.

Despite being a hero, even himself, who did not have the courage to be hated by his party members, was spoiled by him.

But he eventually left.

Throughout the journey, they supported and supported them behind the scenes.

No matter how ugly he looked, no matter how ridiculous he looked, he was no longer there.

I would have been a little less sorry if I had left after swearing.

But he cheered them on even the moment they left.

“Ahh…”

should have stopped

They should have stopped selling and criticizing for no reason.

I should have lightened his burden.

As a warrior, he should have done what he had to do.

As a leader, you should have done what you had to do.

I didn’t mock him.

I didn’t sell him

I didn’t bother him

At the whisper of the darkness hidden deep inside her heart, Claire struggled to come up with an answer.

“But I am.”

I ignored his pain.

I ignored his screams.

Didn’t do anything.

He was not ridiculed, condemned, or harassed.

Didn’t do anything.

Didn’t help him, didn’t block others, didn’t share with him.

Darkness screamed desperately to protect itself.

Because it was hard for me too.

Because I was also suffering.

However, unlike them, it did not burden him.

However, the fact that she was just a bystander, the truth that she had been ignoring, did not change.

After all, he also committed a great sin against him.

He participated in repairing the huge scar on his chest.

An innocent bystander?

not.

He is just a bystander, imbued with cunning malice and a filthy desire not to be hated even by the suffering sage.

Her brain deduced the answer she had neglected and cut her mind.

A single drop of tear was created by carving the ice called guilt.

The hero walked it as if it were natural for his sun-like eyes.

“Huh… Heh… Heh heh…”

Why did you do that?

because I was afraid

Wasn’t he really struggling?

He remembered what he had moaned in his sleep.

It reminded me of how I had been talking in my sleep about wanting to leave and to send it back.

I knew his pain.

I knew his suffering.

Nonetheless I

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Just me

“… Hehe… Hehe… I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

It was scary.

didn’t have the courage.

what is a warrior

what makes you brave

To the subject who was ignoring the pain of those who supported them with good intentions.

I knew.

Even now, after pulling out the hero’s sword, he was recognized by the gods and received divine protection.

That she was just a timid country girl.

He tried hard to hide it with the might of a hero and God’s protection, but in the end, he was just a nerd kid who only counted on his strength.

An idiot who pretends to be a good kid because he is afraid of the reality of being hated by someone.

Claire tried to wipe the water from her eyes, but the tears didn’t stop like a broken faucet.

Even though I shed so much yesterday.

No, even though I kept crying with regret, despair, sorry, and self-hatred from the day the sage left.

The tears still didn’t stop.