74 – World Tree-5

“It’s embarrassing, but I understand. You wanted to go back.”

Erin nodded softly.

“I think I can help. But the remains of a phoenix… I’ll need more time.”

“Should I seek the consent of the other elves?”

“No. I don’t think any Elder would refuse a favor like this. But, I need time.”

Well, you wouldn’t have brought me here if you were going to be uncooperative from the start.

“The phoenix is a type of spirit, but it is several levels higher than that. Among the elves born as elemental spirits, only a few can meet them.”

“I can meet… I see.”

However, it is not something that can be solved by meeting one phoenix.

I didn’t know what would happen if I hunted the phoenix that the elf brought as a friendship.

I wasn’t sure if there would be any remains even if I killed him like that, so it was an overly risky gamble.

“Remains of the phoenix… You’ll have to meet the lore manager, and even if you do see her, you won’t be able to get answers easily. I’m sorry, but I guess you’ll have to wait for now.”

Still got a positive answer.

I wasn’t in a position to press them to submit results until when, and I couldn’t help being so dragged on here.

“thank you.”

“Nothing to say. It’s a request from the warrior who sacrificed for everyone and killed the demon king, right? Of course we can do this much.”

I averted Eirin’s eyes for a moment. I didn’t want her to notice that my eyes were shaking.

Even though it’s not a big deal, the emotions were more than I thought.

That was the word I wanted to hear too much.

Acknowledging my sacrifice, telling me that I did a good job, and being grateful for it.

This wasn’t the first time I’d heard thanks. When the warrior party moved, I was the one who had the most contact with the civilians.

There were many opportunities to hear thanks, whether it was thanks for the actions of the warrior party, or for my actions in personally moving to save them.

But at the time, I couldn’t afford to feel it. Just to prepare for tomorrow’s march, I had to turn off my entire mind and body.

Maybe that’s why I feel more grateful for this word.

“…thank you.”

But I came to my senses again.

People don’t think so selflessly. A person who has received something through the dedication of others does not want to give it back easily.

To believe that the elder of the elves, who instantly treated the contributions of the elves as a reconnaissance party as ‘harm to the community’, would truly appreciate it, was an excessive expectation.

She just told me ‘what I want to hear’.

“But don’t you feel sorry?”

“…What do you mean, regret?”

“Even though the Emperor is playing tricks… You’ve already gotten over it, haven’t you?”

I took care of my dizzy mind.

She doesn’t know me as much as I don’t know her. If you think about it, the fact that I had a conflict with the warrior party is a secret that only those involved will know.

Even the emperor took time to figure out the full picture. If Nerwen hadn’t contacted the elves separately, she must have only superficial information.

Rumors that there is a real hero must have spread to some extent. It wouldn’t be possible to completely bury the turmoil in the imperial palace, and Creon also mentioned it.

How did you find out that I am a warrior? It may have been taken with the Cheong Il-jeom going with the hero’s party, or it may have been an elf’s way of identifying a hero.

But it seemed like they still didn’t know what had happened specifically or why I wanted to go back.

“You overcame it. It’s not even a problem…”

“Well, wasn’t the princess following you a prize?”

Wait a minute, let’s just think about the results.

I got out of the imperial palace after the chaos in the capital. The imperial family not only did not pursue me, but also sent the princess away.

My external status is merely that of a baron. A baron who only has testimony that he recovered a missing person from the imperial family, whose identity is unknown.

There was no reason for the princess to attach to such a person. No matter who sees it, I can’t help but think that I’m holding the emperor’s leash.

“Eww…”

Eleanor bit her lip. To call her a spoil of war in front of oneself is ridiculously rude.

Although elves can be arrogant, as she said, those who don’t need to be arrogant keep their own manners. If they thought of Eleanor as the next emperor, there was no way they could come out like this.

“No. You are helping me with your own will.”

“It’s your own will… I see.”

Eirin smiled as if she understood something.

“Do you really want to go back?”

“yes.”

There was no room for compromise on that.

“But, can’t you already do everything you want to do? Do you need to go back?”

The elf talking about desire was a bit fresh. Because Nerwen felt bound by responsibilities and dignity.

“Women, wealth, and honor can all be taken care of, right?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

I missed the cultural relics of Earth, but I didn’t necessarily want to go back because of them.

Everything here leaves me with a lingering lingering feeling. You cannot take a single step at will, and you cannot breathe at will.

Wherever you go, the past remains.

Every time the achievements of the warriors’ party resonate, it reminds me of what I went through there.

However, claiming that I was a hero was difficult even for myself to admit.

I just lent my strength, and it was Eleanor who fought in a situation where her arm was cut off and her stomach was pierced to punish the demon king.

It is double. Everyone alive here seems to be alive because of me, but I feel like I’m just a victim caught up in a huge incident.

“I don’t like… this place.”

Of course, I hated seeing the faces of the warrior party. But ironically, I got used to seeing his face over and over again.

It wasn’t like nothing was wrong, but at least I didn’t feel stressed just by looking at it.

But on the contrary, all kinds of trivial situations stimulated the trauma.

Every time I see casual conversations, words, and things that have nothing to do with me, I feel like I’m being victimized. Memories of being bullied by them come to mind, and they make me suffer.

As long as I was here, it seemed difficult to be happy.

“Then I can’t help it. Do you need anything else?”

I glanced at Nerwen’s eyes. She was so nervous that she couldn’t say anything.

“Nerwen is not normal.”

“Not normal, what do you mean?”

No matter how much I tried to explain, there was no way I could make them understand. When I urged Nerwen, she reluctantly opened her mouth.

“Elder, that… I’ll explain it later.”

Wasn’t it urgent? It was a bit unexpected for me, who thought she would be more desperate than me.

But it wasn’t incomprehensible. It would be embarrassing to explain her urges and conditions in detail in the presence of other party members.

“Okay. I hope you achieve what you want in the World Tree.”

Eirin smiled warmly until the end.

/////

“Elder?”

After the meal, Nerwen quietly called Eirin.

Then, I realized that her complexion was not as good as I had imagined.

Nerwen never failed at a given task. It was only natural that he was the strongest warrior among elves since he was born.

But now, Eirin’s eyes looking at her were not the eyes of a warrior returning from a victorious battle.

“Yes. Please tell me.”

Still, unlike Eirin’s cold eyes, the outward words were warm.

Nerwen, who had thought that she might make a mistake she wasn’t aware of and be immediately reprimanded, was able to breathe a sigh of relief.

“My feelings… are a bit strange.”

“Specifically?”

Nerwen held his breath.

To explain her strange condition, he had to explain in detail what she had done to him.

“At first, it was disgusting. I felt a stronger than necessary smell for it…”

Erin’s expression darkened even more.

“Should I stop?”

“No. Keep talking. The ‘he’ we’re talking about here must be the hero, right?”

“I didn’t know it then, but it is.”

There were plenty of excuses. She didn’t know he was a hero, and any other elf would have held more contempt for a porter who joined a hero’s party than she did.

“Did you feel disgusted? It couldn’t be…”

“This was not a normal situation. Something sinister…”

“No. Nerwen.”

Resolutely, Eirin cut her off.

“I think this… looks like some kind of accident.”

“Are you talking about an accident?”

“Your condition is perfectly normal right now. What you say is unbelievable.”

“No. Even now, there are some unusual emotional changes…”

“It’s normal now.”

Eirin denied her hypothesis without hesitation.

“So, please explain what happened at the warriors party.

Nerwen, who knew Eirin, who was normally easy-going, could see that she was in a serious impatient state.

Nerwen openly confessed his sins. What she did to Enerel and how the other party members treated him.

Erin listened to it silently.