4 – return-4

What was disgusting about this world was disgusting, and what was boring was boring. It wasn’t long before I had to find a new job to do.

Still, I didn’t want to meet people. I hated having to explain who I was in a difficult way whenever I met someone. Even that wasn’t true, and when I asked questions that were hard to answer, I had to somehow cover it up.

Besides, he didn’t like the fact that all the people passing by were praising the achievements of the warrior party.

He obviously did a great job. However, it was a memory I just wanted to forget.

The words about whose personality is good, who is polite, and who is kind all sounded empty.

However, I couldn’t explain what the bastards had done one by one in front of the person who said that, so I was the only one who felt frustrated.

In the end, the place I found was the library. Although the imperial library was forbidden from outside, it was always open to guests who officially visited the palace.

The book, which was just information without much content, was interesting, and the heroic stories of former warriors were worth reading.

But today, I met an uninvited guest.

“Are you here, porter?”

was a saint I’ve been hearing voices for years though, so I could tell them apart just by the sound they were calling me.

However, I didn’t want to answer. Looking at his face made me feel bad, so I forcibly lowered my head.

“You didn’t even come to the celebration, I was a bit disappointed!”

“There was.”

“You were there? Well, maybe it was a bit difficult to be with you because you’re a porter… But you did a great job.”

I couldn’t see her expression, but she was probably smiling.

Come to think of it, even when I hated her the most, at least she spoke beautifully. I just didn’t like the action.

When I slightly raised my gaze, the saintess’s white priestly robe caught my eye. Even after a hard battle, it was a mysterious garment that would turn white again if you prayed once.

“But don’t you get lonely when you’re alone? Let’s all get together and have a meal. Mr. Nerwen is still here, and Mr. Eleanor will definitely come when we call!”

“Because I’ll be more uncomfortable.”

“Ah, no one would think that way? They may have treated the porter a little harshly, but they all thought of the porter in their hearts…”

I don’t like the attitude of trying to pass off a lot of things with clumsy words like ‘Thank you for your hard work’ or ‘In my heart’.

“I am uncomfortable.”

“Eh? Are you still unwell? Then I’ll cast a recovery spell…”

“No. I hate it.”

I didn’t want to mix things up any more. I thought I would have figured it out if I had done this much, and focused on the book again.

However, there was no sound of her leaving.

“Why… why?”

“…”

He has seen with his own eyes what I am going through. is also the perpetrator.

I didn’t feel the need to explain in detail why I was having a hard time and why I hated them to people who couldn’t feel it while watching and listening to it.

I closed the book and got up from my seat. Her face, which passed by at a glance, felt like someone who really didn’t know anything.

Unfortunately, borrowing is not possible in this library. I quietly put the book on the seat.

“Even if you’re angry, I think it’d be better to talk it out…”

If it was a problem that could be solved through conversation, it would have been solved long ago. I’ve tried for years, and I’ve failed.

“I-I’ll talk to Mr. Eleanor so that Mr. Porter gets a fair price!”

I’m the one to go back to If the Empire had prepared enough, he would not have stayed in this f*cking world.

Even if I receive a mountain of gold coins, even if I receive a beauty and an elixir, it is of no use to me.

To the point where I didn’t get angry when I heard her voice, I think I’ve held up well.

Leaving her screaming in the distance in the library, I went back to my room.

/////

A girl was praying in the middle of a mysterious place where colorful lights beautifully shined through the stained glass.

The center of the cathedral in the capital. It is a place that lay people can visit once or twice in their lifetime, and even high-ranking priests do not pass through it as if it were their own home.

It is the seat closest to the Goddess, and the seat where the god promised to listen to prayers uttered at this seat.

But there was no one to stop the girl. Now that the hero has defeated the demon lord, if the person closest to God is said to be she, it would be definitely her.

“Goddess…”

The saintess, Celia, was kneeling in front of the shining statue of the goddess and praying respectfully.

“I think the porter is very angry. What can I do…”

At first, they were obviously friendly people. The best among them was the porter in the saintess’ eyes.

No matter what kind of dirty work is entrusted to him, he handles it without showing it. It wasn’t helpful in battle, but it would have been difficult for an ordinary person to just follow the party around.

At the beginning of the adventure, he was a person who never lost his smile. Every time she saw him getting more and more impoverished over time, the saintess’ heart ached.

He was the one who carried the burden for her and stayed behind while she prayed. It was a natural wish for everyone to be happy.

“We fought so hard to be happy together…”

After the adventure, I had a chance to meet other people. Nerwen, Eleanor, and Farseer were all relaxed and enjoying victory and happiness.

However, he didn’t need anyone to stand guard now. Of course, he should have enjoyed the banquet here too, but he was nowhere to be seen as if he had disappeared.

“I met you today, but you seem to hate other people. How can I reconcile you?”

However, nothing came to her mind. The saintess felt a sense of difference.

“Please answer me…”

It was rare to hear the voice of the goddess directly, but as a saint, she was at least able to perceive the goddess’ emotions and intentions in a subtle way.

The divine power is filling up normally. In the first place, it makes no sense to be cut off from God in this sacred place.

However, the goddess just left her without giving any answer.

The saintess, who thought that her sincerity was lacking, corrected her posture and continued her prayers.

/////

Because of meeting the saintess in the library, my mood was very depressed.

It hasn’t gotten dark outside yet, but my head hurts and my eyes are closed. I turned off the light and got into bed and lay down.

It was incredibly comfortable to have a soft blanket covering my eyes instead of a rough blanket.

“I thought you’d wait like this…”

At first, I thought I wouldn’t have to take part in the adventure.

But about a week after the hero went on an adventure, the emperor suddenly called me.

-You don’t have to fight it yourself, but at least you have to open the door. I didn’t expect this to happen… but I can’t help it.

There are many strong people on the continent. And such people are strong enough to defeat a warrior who has just started an adventure in a matter of seconds.

However, the ordeal prepared by the goddess for the hero cannot be opened unless it is the hero himself.

Even the barriers built by the Demon King himself cannot be dispelled unless the hero himself receives the protection of the goddess in the same way.

Because of that, I had to keep calling and opening the door.

At least we didn’t have to follow the party around when we were clearing the dungeons near the empire, but we quickly entered the demon lord’s sphere of influence.

After that, I had to do all the chores at the party. Simple cooking and tidying up, as well as all the trivial things like lifting luggage or keeping watch.

Half of it, it was something I started because I wanted to. Doing nothing and just watching them fight from a distance made me feel remorse.

The work was manageable. Other people, to some extent, respected me for taking on the job.

But as the fight intensified and there was no room in my heart, I was the first to be attacked.

The magician tried to choose an efficient method, and the saintess tried to choose a method that fit the doctrine of the goddess.

If I worked under the direction of the saintess, the wizard would criticize me as a stupid person doing useless things, and if I did something in accordance with the magician’s will, the saintess would be angry, saying that there would be the wrath of the goddess.

It seems that the archer didn’t like my smell from the beginning, but at first he had enough time to speak softly about it.

But the longer the battle and the more time we spent together, the more she despised me as if I were filth.

couldn’t like it They were the only people around, so I couldn’t find comfort anywhere else.

From a certain moment, the saintess naturally woke me up during her night shift and prayed instead.

It was to supplement the consumed divine power, so it was difficult to point out anything. The fight was close enough, and I couldn’t refuse if my hard work made the party safe.

But at some point, it became natural for me to sacrifice. As if it were just a daily routine, everyone forced me to sacrifice.

Even walking was difficult for me. It was inevitable that mistakes would come out and that concentration would be broken.

If I was delayed even a little bit, the wizard would get angry, and if I was damaged by a monster’s attack, the warrior would beat me through ‘training’.

And I endured As always, it was the right thing to do.

But, now I’m not sure. I think I’m too tired to think about what’s right and what’s wrong.

Even tonight, I couldn’t return to Earth.