190 – reverse-9

I kept talking to them. More involved in Farseer’s plans than first thought.

I didn’t touch the body. However, she handled and transported many of the magic materials she requested.

And among them, there were people who saw the saintess.

– Come on, let’s go! Defeat those who stand in your way, and claim victory!

After a long time, the holy sword spoke.

“Why are you so excited all of a sudden?”

-Because you know you’ll win?

There have been achievements, but I haven’t even started properly yet.

As I walked to the woods near the capital, my mind was still filled with questions and doubts.

I couldn’t predict what would happen in a few minutes or a few hours right now.

It is possible that I am wrong, and I do not know who is in front of me.

“Strange. I thought you were only interested in beating and killing everyone?”

-No, I just like warriors. The story of heroism, the agony of a warrior, and the excitement of overcoming trials.

“Then I must be the one who couldn’t overcome it.”

evaded responsibility. It is true that the Emperor and Eleanor desperately tried to persuade me, but they would not have been able to stop me if I had finally declared that I would take up the holy sword.

I blamed them for the deaths of the people sacrificed on the journey, so I could blame them with confidence. I could beg to be saved.

Without knowing how heavy it was, I, an outsider, went on a rampage.

– But, now you realize what you want to do, right?

“I realized, that’s…”

It was just a little clearing up my mind.

-If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t have been able to walk forward.

The words of the Holy Sword were not wrong.

The hero party’s plan is to send me back to my world. By any means.

If so, it was clear what I wanted as I moved forward to prevent it.

“It’s funny.”

He’s not even a three-year-old, and it’s like kicking a gift he so longed for.

Only like this, I couldn’t help it even if I ate swearing.

-Don’t worry about the past. Are you a warrior? Originally, that’s how it all is. Sometimes I go into a private house and break pots, and sneak into forbidden areas. And that’s how to grow up.

“So, I’m a warrior…”

– It’s a warrior.

It wasn’t that I didn’t hate the confident way of speaking without the basis of the holy sword.

-I want you to become a hero and travel freely in this world. People who have eyes like that have never, without exception.

“…my eyes?”

There were no mirrors, no calm lakes. I couldn’t see my face, but it didn’t look very good.

-You, what you see now is just a warrior of justice. A warrior who will pass through whatever lies ahead and can withstand any temptation.

“…”

-trust me. I don’t know anything else, but the eyes of the warrior know.

It was funny. Entering forbidden areas without permission, entering private houses and committing acts of mischief. Aren’t you just an immature bully, a kid screaming to get what you want?

“is it…”

If the hero Sacred Sword was looking at was exactly that kind of person, it wasn’t exactly wrong that I looked like a hero.

Yes, let’s admit it. It’s strange that now I’m claiming that I’m not that kind of person.

it’s all my responsibility

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Just as the humans in the warrior party get paid for harassing me, I am paying the price for harassing me.

I lied that I could not bear it, and I lied that I could not do it.

I ran away like a child who hates scary things, and ran like a child who loves sweet things.

At the same time, I pretended to be a good person, saying to myself, ‘This is the right thing to do.’ He was in no position to insult Celia.

So, for what I am walking and fighting for now, no one should be held accountable.

I do it because I want to, because I want to do it, because I want to do it.

For that, I can fight anyone and win. I can force my desires, my hopes.

-look. you’re awesome Is it the warrior’s eye?

“Maybe… maybe.”

I moved slowly to the forest Celia had last entered.

/////

“Is this…”

I felt a strange aura. It didn’t look like Celia’s, but the air felt familiar yet repulsive.

There were more beings left in this forest than I thought. It wasn’t the forest where the monsters fought, and the people here weren’t monsters either.

I stopped walking and spoke to the existence that was not a holy sword.

“come out.”

The thick leaves answered me.

“Yeah, you know.”

“…Let’s see your face. Come out.”

However, all you can hear is the rustling of leaves and branches. she didn’t show up.

“How far did you know?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m wrong about what I know, and I don’t know what to say. So I want to ask you, come out.”

Instead of answering, what passed through my ears was a wind-like arrow.

I paused. Maybe, I thought it could be like this, but it was a bit new to feel it myself.

Nerwen’s location has changed countless times. Her energy dispersed and reunited, appearing and disappearing several times.

“Could you do something like this?”

“If you prepare enough, you can become friends with trees. Well, I don’t have any talent for this kind of thing, so I got help from others.”

The shape of someone who seemed to be aiming an arrow at me at any moment was placed here and there in this forest.

If your eyes are not bright, or if you don’t know about fighting at all, ‘There are a lot of unusual tree branches.’ I was able to get past it.

However, energy was engraved in each of them. Before I knew it, branches with her energy and smell were covering the whole area.

very little movement. Wind, beasts, insects. Or the movement of the tree itself, cleverly stimulated my nerves.

I felt like I was under siege. I really can’t tell her apart.

It was subtle enough that I couldn’t tell who was real except for a second, when she spoke.

“Are you going to fight?”

“I’m not ready yet. Since I’m useless, shouldn’t I be guarding the house?”

I had thought she might point a bow at me, but I never thought it would actually happen.

“Are you okay?”

“Of course not. I once declared that I would dedicate all my life and soul to you. I also exist to receive your seed from birth.”

Countless Nerwen answer my words, each syllable.

Some of them are so small or obscure that they seem to be whispering in the blowing wind.

“Even now, my mind is being cut. My body, my instincts, are whispering to me to keep my promise. I’m begging you please stop.”

“Then would it be alright if you let me go?”

“There’s no way you can do that.”

“It looks like it will be difficult.”

Her body was light, but her voice was heavy.

Thousands or tens of thousands of giant trees are burned, and the boiling heat leaks out through the throat and seems to create clumsy language.

“Do you think you’d succumb to… something like this?”

“It’s okay to be a little more comfortable. If you’ve suffered so much.”

The horse stopped. Perhaps, it may have touched her wrath.

“It’s easy… It’s easy, it’s easy. Yes! I’ve chosen the easy way! I’ve given in to my instincts! I’ve surrendered to the senses that have bound me since birth!”

The forest howled. The earth trembled with her pain, with her fury.

“When I first saw you, I smelled such a strong, elusive smell. The sensation it gave me, the feeling of s*xual desire, was so filthy, disgusting, and unpleasant! I put the blame on you!”

“This feeling, this trembling, this impulse is all because of you! That’s why I despised it! Because that was the most comfortable!”

“Because I had to believe that I, the noblest elf, would not be swayed by such rubbish desires! That’s why I hated it, so I despised it, so I hated it!”

Like a stringed instrument with its strings plucked roughly, the trees hum and make sounds.

“That’s not the end. The next one and the one after that too! Knowing that I needed you, I tried to subdue you by force. Because that was comfortable.”

“Even after realizing the problem, I knelt down to you thinking that I would have to go to the World Tree no matter what, because that was comfortable! And, even after arriving at the World Tree, I didn’t change. I didn’t change…”

Nerwen howled.

“I didn’t admit the responsibility to receive your seed and follow it. I didn’t cut my throat in shame knowing that I filled you with hatred. I chose nothing.”

“I just followed you around. I thought that as long as you fought together until you returned, as long as you made a comfortable and convenient trip, that would be enough. Because that was comfortable!”

She let out a scream to the fullest, and spat out the remaining words in a sob.

“If I surrender to my instincts and follow your orders, my body will be at ease. My mind will be at ease too. .That would definitely be an easy choice.”

It started. Dozens, hundreds, no, thousands of arrows were aiming at me.

“I don’t live like that. Even if my heart stops the moment I shoot an arrow at you, I will stop you here. I will definitely send you back.”

The sound of a bowstring being snapped is heard.

“Because you’ve decided it’s really for you.”

Her last words were obscured by the sound of arrows flying.

“After I was born.”