158 – Fog-5

“…That can’t be the case. I’m obviously a suitable wife to the Emperor, His Majesty’s offspring born of my mother’s womb.”

Eleanor shook her head. Even though she was called by the emperor after being detained elsewhere due to ‘an accidental accident’, her mother was the emperor’s wife.

Even though it was a secret that even she herself did not know before she met the emperor face to face.

“I don’t know where to start talking about whether you’re ready for this…”

Eleanor bit her lip. Right away, I thought the emperor was wrong, but no matter how much I thought about it, he had no reason to do so.

If that was true, she couldn’t imagine what to do.

“You still have to listen.”

But now, she had nowhere else to retreat. Indeed, if the emperor’s life was short, the incident might have been buried forever.

“In that case, where should I start explaining?”

The emperor hardly raised his eyes.

“It’s just that I loved someone. And that person just didn’t love me.”

“…is that just it?”

“That’s all. Other than that, events that could happen have just happened unluckily.”

It wasn’t Eleanor who didn’t know about political relationships and arranged marriages.

Marriage without love was commonplace. However, if it was related to the imperial family, the weight was different. It shouldn’t happen.

“Even if my mother… cheated, that is not a reason for me to enter the imperial family.”

This would not have been allowed if it was related to the imperial family, but it was common for both wives and husbands to have separate lovers in a marriage of a somewhat powerful aristocratic family.

However, even then, the minimum line was kept. At least until she gave birth to her husband’s child, she strictly forbade contact with her lover, and after fulfilling her duties as a wife by giving birth to an heir, she departed.

“I don’t want to call it infidelity. There was someone else she loved first, and I was the one who thought I could suppress it with power.”

“…what happened?”

After clearing his throat, the emperor struggled to open his heavy mouth.

“Elesia. Your mother, and the only person I loved. She was beautiful… and a trustworthy person.”

Eleanor was speechless, paying full attention to the Emperor’s every word.

“She never had a fiancée, and she was a woman whose every action was graceful, considerate, loving and compassionate. Ever since I was the crown prince, I have tried to win her love.”

“that…”

“But while I focused on my Emperor’s responsibilities, she was living her own life. She went on a romantic novel-like journey, and in the process naturally… fell in love with the knight who was escorting her.”

Feeling the weight of the Emperor’s words, Eleanor had no choice but to keep her mouth shut.

Although she had only memories of her very childhood, her mother had always treated Eleanor with love.

It was unthinkable that such a person could have committed adultery.

“Is my mother hiding such a secret?

“Eleanor. My daughter. Please do not insult your mother. She is, my dearest… beloved.”

“But, if His Majesty’s words are true!”

“She told me everything. She had someone she loved. Back then, when I was only one step away from becoming emperor, she couldn’t accept even my courtship.”

“Then, couldn’t it have been canceled?”

“At that time, we had come too far. I had to join Elessia’s family to become emperor, and her family had to enlist my cooperation.”

In order to defeat other successors and become emperor, you must maximize your political influence.

Eleanor knew that, but even so, it was not an easy situation to understand.

“Anyway…wasn’t it the marriage agreed upon by the family and my mother?”

“It wasn’t surprising.”

It was unbelievable for Eleanor. The politics of the empire are not run like that.

“That couldn’t possibly be…”

However, Eleanor realized a very obvious and trivial fact. Since we are talking about her birth, of course everything that happened now happened before she was born.

Common sense under the present emperor, now taken for granted, may not have been common sense until she was born.

“Elesia was quiet and obedient. Yet she was despised. Her family treated her as just a tool of the family. A tribute to me and a gift to increase the family’s influence.”

It was something Eleanor had never imagined. I couldn’t say I was very wealthy, but I didn’t remember not being loved.

“I thought, maybe my family, that she would be willing to accept it. Foolish. Even if her family made foolish choices, I shouldn’t have.”

“why…”

“I thought she would do it. I believed that she would put aside the memories of wandering for a while and act according to the given environment. I was arrogant.”

It was a tragedy. A tragedy that is too difficult for her to accept.

“I’m not saying this in front of you, who was much younger than me and matured several times, but… I was young then. I haven’t become a proper human yet.”

The emperor’s blurred eyes reflected the past instead of the scene in front of him.

“It was stupid…”

Eleanor realized the terrifying resemblance between herself and the emperor.

The point of forcing one’s will on someone who is likely to do so.

“For Elessia, that knight, love was something she couldn’t yield to. But, in that situation, she had no choice.”

“But even if forced…”

“I didn’t hug her. If it was to satisfy my desire, I would have shut her mouth and sowed the seeds of the royal family… but I loved Elesia. I could have waited.”

As the unbelievable words poured out one after another, Eleanor could only listen without even thinking about refuting his words.

“I also hoped in my heart. If I showed my sincerity, I might be able to change her mind. I had the hope that if I gave enough time, I would be able to receive her love.”

“therefore…”

“That’s why I didn’t hate her pure love. After all, it was I who had her, and I thought that one day that noble love would be given to me too. But, I was wrong. It was a foolish idea.”

Like a sinner confessing his sins, his voice was full of regret and guilt for his foolishness.

“The three years I spent with her were infinitesimally small compared to the year she spent with her knight. The moment we embarked on an unexpected trip, confirmed each other’s sincerity, and devoted ourselves to each other in the most dangerous moment. It was more meaningless.”

Feelings of defeat, resentment, lamentation over the unreasonableness, and love for her that cannot be hidden even within them. Numerous emotions were just flowing out unrefined.

“So, I let her go. By then, I had already established myself as emperor, and I wasn’t in a position to be shaken by petty feuds.”

Eleanor had never been in love, but she could imagine how much pain and suffering he must have gone through before making that decision.

“By the way.”

The emperor suddenly stopped talking. Emotions that were incomparable to those of the past were pouring out of her body.

“So, I conceded. Jim, the emperor of this country, I, who can do anything I want, wished them happiness. Then, at least if you forced me to suffer like that…”

Anger was overflowing.

“At least, shouldn’t I be happy? Isn’t that what I can expect!”

It was an emperor who had never shown such intense agitation and anger under any circumstances. Even when he was extremely angry, he was calm.

“The Elessia family did such disgusting things. They neglected them and put them in a situation that would be difficult for a daughter of a noble family to endure.”

As a child, Eleanor lived among commoners. I never really considered it a ‘shouldn’t have’, but no one thought her mother was an empress,

“Because that wasn’t enough, they thought Elessia’s existence was a shame. Since no one was interested in her… They thought that if they handled it quietly and asked me to sin, they would take a new empress as another daughter of that family. .”

“Your Majesty the Emperor…”

Eleanor had no choice but to swallow. It was a dark and painful secret that I didn’t even dare to comfort.

“By the time I realized the situation, everyone was already dead. The knight who was supposed to protect my wife and daughter died in an ‘unfortunate accident’, and my wife died trying to protect her daughter against the thugs. “

It was a story she knew from then on.

“Until then, I was so crowded that I couldn’t even think about anything. I was just sad and wanted to finish this somehow. I wanted to kill everyone involved as soon as possible and go back to rest.”

During the long silence, Eleanor said nothing. Overwhelmed by the emperor’s emotions.

“By the way, you were there.”

The emperor’s eyes, which swayed back and forth, met Eleanor’s. With eyes that seemed to see a very distant scene clearly.