53 – Dark History (3)

It was nothing.

The pain felt like a thin, long centipede poking right under my skin.

Occasionally selling and throwing stones at our brother and sister.

The cold that permeates the bones.

The hunger that gnaws at the stomach.

A sense of helplessness that weighs down the body.

It was nothing compared to the dark despair of being abandoned again.

My younger brother, who was still young and didn’t know anything, used to ask me.

Mom and Dad. who our parents were.

Each time, I vaguely glossed over that it was so long ago that I couldn’t remember, but that was a blatant lie.

I remembered it well.

When and when they cried and laughed.

what kind of food did you like

How do you spend your free time?

How did you look at me and my brother?

And.

I was even confident that I could vividly recall the words and expressions the moment they shook my hand, as if it had happened just yesterday.

I will definitely come pick you up again.

I know now. That those words were dotted with petty lies.

No, I knew it in my head at the time, but it was more appropriate that I couldn’t bear to accept that cold reality.

someone said To a child, parents are like everything in the world.

I thought that was a very plausible statement.

In fact, at that moment, it would not be an exaggeration to say that my world was destroyed once.

The overwhelming feeling of frustration, as if the ground I had just stepped on collapsed in an instant, took away a lot from me.

After skillfully tossing out a few trivial realizations that didn’t deserve the price, they flirted with each other and faded away.

Don’t expect it. do not hope

The kind touch of another person who will embrace your weakness.

Be strong. You have to be strong.

So that you don’t have to look for something to lean on. To be able to stand up alone without holding someone’s hand.

In this unfair world, there is no one who will look out for my pity, because God does not exist.

My Name. Triana Abigail.

When I first realized that Abigail among them had the meaning of being pleasing to God.

”You’re talking fuckin’.”

Swearing leaked out of my mouth.

If, this miserable ups and downs of my life are due to the intentional shaping of the author we call God.

If it is nothing more than a form of entertainment created by God to appease boredom.

You said you had a really cool hobby.

As a created being, I wanted to slap a cool curse on her.

Even so.

I couldn’t come and retract the hand that I reached out for someone’s help.

”sister····.”

”it’s okay. big team. Uncle… Uncle will be back soon…”

Because my brother doesn’t know yet. Because I didn’t want you to know

The pain of being thrown out by the being you depended on. The solitude of being left alone in the world.

Unlike me, whose wounds had already festered and exploded the previous evening, I didn’t want my brother to go through that kind of pain.

”Mister must have been busy with work for a while and couldn’t contact you.”

It was a lie.

”I sent letters every day! He’ll come all the way here with a priest who will heal us soon!”

It was a blatant lie.

”Your uncle didn’t abandon us.”

It was a blatant lie.

My appearance at the time, when I was constantly telling lies to reassure my younger brother, was quite similar to that of the time when our parents abandoned us.

The disgusting appearance of randomly spitting out sweet words that you couldn’t even take responsibility for and seeing as you thought of them must have been disrespectful.

It might have been fortunate that my younger sister, whose curse and pestilence had spread to the top of her eyelids, did not see me like that.

creaking.

He would fall asleep with the distinctive noise he heard when he scribbled with ink mixed with water on crumpled paper he had picked up in the trash as a lullaby.

It was a daily routine around a year after the uncle cut off his support for us, right after our brother and sister fell ill with an unknown curse and plague.

In fact, at that time I had already given up on everything for a long time.

Uncle.

Because I thought he had completely abandoned us.

The letters he wrote every day, not even a single day, were just a way to reassure his younger brother.

I didn’t feel resentful or disappointed at all.

There may be some people who feed stray cats, but only a few people bring the messy animal home.

It’s just that someone who came without a word left without a word.

Am I running out of money?

Have there been circumstances where it is inevitable?

Maybe it’s just boredom, I don’t know.

Even if I wanted to guess the cause, there was no proper evidence, so I had to fill the white space with only imagination.

A relationship in which money was exchanged only occasionally.

Because it was a one-sided relationship that didn’t even come with a proper reply.

I thought that such a futile ending was inconceivable.

”Cough Cough!”

The black blood that leaked out along with coughing made a mess of the stationery I had saved.

”····”

There was no inspiration whatsoever.

While brooding over the heavy silence, I just stared at the blackened letterhead.

Swoop.

As a talisman, he carefully unfolded an old note he had always carried in his arms.

[Happy Birthday]

Occasionally, whenever I was having a hard time or was upset, I would still cheer up to some extent by looking at this note.

but.

”Huh, huh… Ugh…”

Not to mention the energy, it was because only Gok-eup was leaking out of control.

Read at noblemtl.com

Jjiik. Chewy.

Before long, I tore the note to pieces.

rattle.

It was right after that.

I heard a strange noise coming from my brother’s bedroom.

◈◈◈

A dilapidated church located far away from the orphanage.

It is the place where our brother and sister were quarantined due to illness and curses.

It was a temporary shelter that the director generously took care of, saying that it was the last reward for all he had earned.

Village children used to call it the ugly name of ‘Coffin’.

I didn’t think it was anything wrong.

There were large holes all over the room, and the smell of death was everywhere in the place where mold and mice were infested.

However, although it was small and smelly, there were beds and blankets.

Because edible herbs were everywhere.

A line where two children whose mouths were shortened due to illness could not starve to death.

It had just that level of living environment.

It was cold on cold days and hot on hot days, and on rainy days, the whole area was often a sea of water.

It was far better than sleeping in a wild animal-infested cave, so those flaws were tolerable.

If there was one flaw that couldn’t be ignored, it was that the security was so lax, that it was so powerless against the occasional rogue’s intrusion.

Probably no idiot would step into the space where a cursed sick person lives without thinking.

I figured I wouldn’t have to worry about that.

yes, it was

”Who, who’s there!”

With a firm grip on the rust-stained herb knife, she watched nervously at the mysterious light leaking from the back of the bedroom where her brother was sleeping.

The shape of the shadows that follow the grain of light. Judging by its size.

There seemed to be no doubt that a person presumed to be a stout adult had entered the house.

”Ji, you have to protect it! I! I have to protect you!”

I wanted to grab the hilt with both hands, but my body didn’t listen to me in the aftermath of the curse.

No matter how hard he exerted all his strength into his trembling hand, the only thing he could do was not let go of the small knife he was holding.

”Ha, ha…! ha····!”

A thief suddenly crashes into a dilapidated church.

It was obvious that the intruder, who couldn’t believe that he had come for the purpose of money, would do something to the paralyzed child.

The decision that led to such an ominous suspicion was truly frenzied.

”Lord, kill, kill…! You must kill…!”

It was heavy.

The weight of the knife itself shouldn’t be much different from when I took it out to cut herbs.

A fierce weight weighed down on my consciousness, as if the wrist holding the knife would break like a tree branch if I lost my guard even the slightest bit.

His breathing became rough, his mouth dried up, and his clear vision was gradually getting cramped with fluids that he couldn’t tell if it was sweat or tears.

”Huh, huh! Who, who… who… Whoa! Do, please help…”

It was funny.

It was because he was chanting in a voice that no one could hear, asking for someone’s help.

In my mind, I wanted to run away.

I wanted to put my knife down, run out with my back turned, and meet someone reliable to protect my brother and sister from the threat of injustice.

but.

There is no adult who can depend on an abandoned child.

It was around the time that the chilling reality permeated my consciousness and urged me hard in fear.

The moment I directly saw someone’s figure groping my brother’s body through the gap in the door.

As if an arrow that had been pulled taut on the bowstring was about to fly away, the two legs that had been rooted to the ground suddenly kicked the floor.

”Who are you! What have you done to my brother!”

He shouted out loud to encourage his courage and swung his sword.

The final destination of the clumsy knife action was the place where the man’s neck was located.

However, it failed.

The sword was not driven into the scoundrel’s neck, but into the back of his hand.

Poo-wook.

The unpleasant feeling of iron crushing your flesh.

The moment the spread blood splashed on his face, the sticky crimson color covered his entire field of vision.

All the senses felt were blurred and vague.

Not because my emotions were fluctuating, but because my consciousness was focused on a shocking visual information unfolding in front of my eyes.

he was crying