42 – Gilchi

who said that

The most terrifying thing about Gilchi is that even though he is on the right path, he eventually strays from it because of his disbelief that he can’t go on the right path and the anxiety that it doesn’t seem to be this way.

wrong way. It’s just that when I’m walking on a path that’s comfortable for me without thinking, it’s the part where I feel safe.

”Poof.”

A frivolous laugh leaked from my parched lips.

That rumor was very funny, and I thought it was the most perfect expression of my current situation.

In fact, even though there were many better ways than this, I made the worst choice of closing my eyes and running away, cowardly ignoring what I had to face, just because I felt comfortable.

The back of his right hand throbbed.

It was nothing special. Because this is where my guilt lies.

In front of others, he rolled up the glove on his right hand, which he had never taken off before, and gazed at the ugly scar that stood out on the back of his hand.

The ferocious sword marks violently cut through the bones of the middle and ring fingers.

Because of this guy, I couldn’t even count the number of sleepless nights.

It’s not because of the dull pain that shoots up on the back of my hand from time to time, but the past that I want to forget that the pain is pumping up.

Among the blemishes of my life, which was already full of failures, the weed-like regret that I had to root out first seldom allowed me to have a peaceful night.

Compared to that, the pain of piercing the skin and dislocating the bones was insignificant.

Bodily pain tends to gradually fade over time, and sometimes you can complain to someone.

but.

The melted lament that penetrated through the cracks of the scar engraved on the body did not fade with time, but only gradually increased in size.

Because there was no way he could complain about his shabby past to anyone else.

Today, too, I extinguished the spark of courage to face my mistakes with my will and turned away, covering the ugly stigma with thick gloves.

”Still, I should have asked if you were doing well…”

Soon, he shook his head.

Because worrying about her health, not someone else’s, was more useless than worrying about a celebrity’s livelihood.

Even at the time when I was determined to escape, her body was in a state of so-called diamond river, where it was difficult to find even a shallow scratch, even if it fell from a steep cliff or was crushed by a dragon’s huge body.

I decided to stop worrying about it.

It was a flaw if it was a bit lacking in work. It’s an element that doesn’t change much whether I exist or not, so it’s been a long time since I’ve put it out of my head.

What’s more, she now has colleagues who are trustworthy enough to make up for such subtle flaws.

Supporters that are solid and reliable enough to be incomparable to those like me.

I, who was so weak that I couldn’t even lend him a shoulder to lean on, let alone lend me strength, couldn’t be brazenly taking that position forever.

For her, I melt. Rust that must be peeled off.

Deadly rust that is a blockage that sticks to the joints and is sure to disintegrate the organization in the not too distant future.

I can’t be with her

No, we shouldn’t be together.

”With this… with this…”

It was fortunate that Apis was the first person I met.

Although he had made up his mind in his own way, it must have been difficult to muster up the courage to face her face as bright as the sun.

Apis, who was considerate, would surely understand the meaning of my words and would be able to comfort her, who was heartbroken over the loss of a colleague.

What’s more, they even look quite alike.

It was for that reason that I sometimes expressed the impression that watching them was like seeing close sisters.

Every time he heard that, Apis looked quite bewildered.

I honestly deserved it.

To think that she, who seemed to have combined the words “integrity and innocence” into human form, resembled the unsound Apis in her usual behavior and behavior.

The memory of laughing away with a shy smile at Apis’s harsh retort, asking if your eyes are crooked, is still vivid to this day.

But does Apis really know?

The fact that the girl I had met in the past was the exact same as Apis, even in her way of speaking, her behavior, and her characteristic fierce temperament.

The moment I met her for the first time was something I could never forget.

The beast-like figure that tried to shove a knife into my neck without hesitation along with abusive language with a clear intent to kill was a memory that was directly engraved into my skin, not my head.

The reason the ferocious tusks didn’t reach my neck was because my right hand, which I swung reflexively, accidentally blocked its trajectory.

sheer luck. It would not be an exaggeration to say that from that day onwards, my life has been going on thanks to that luck.

The reason why my life is running at the peak of misfortune right now is probably because I used up all my luck for the rest of my life there.

‘Get those filthy hands off my brother right now! This is a cub to kill this! ‘

I trembled unbecomingly at the murderous intent of a small child who was less than half of me.

To be honest, I did things that were so-called misunderstood, worthy of hearing such words.

late night. There is no such thing as a normal race of people sneaking into children’s bedrooms and groping over the body of a sleeping boy.

The reason Santa Claus has never been sued for breaking into a house is because of the minimal cause of leaving a present for a good boy.

If it hadn’t been for that, I’m sure he’d be wearing a pair of hairy irons on both hands and begging for some cookies and milk for his meal.

It’s a past dotted with regrets, but at the time I thought it was for the best.

I have seen many times what kind of end the children who have suffered from illness and curses in poor orphanages will face.

The reason God bestowed divine power on the human race was probably to save those who needed such help.

Even now, I don’t think that choice itself was wrong.

However, it was too late to make a decision.

The insignificant things I was holding in my hands were precious and worthless.

Until the last moment, I couldn’t choose that simple option of reaching out to someone, so I hesitated and hesitated constantly.

This was the result of that pitiful hesitation.

Manmubang with a hole in his right hand. He was neither a savior nor a bystander, a mere half-penny.

That’s why I was so scared and afraid that I couldn’t bear to face those straight eyes that reminded me of the foolish me of that day.

When I met her again years later, I recognized her at once, whose appearance and atmosphere had changed dramatically, and also because her eyes had not lost the brilliance of the day at all.

Because the sublime light enough to illuminate each and every mistake of the day sunk in the dark seabed of memories seemed like it would blame and criticize me right now.

I didn’t want to see that face a second time.

So I turned my back on the light. I turned my back. ran away

”Whoa…”

I covered my emotions with a cloth so that the disturbing thoughts on top of my thoughts would not be revealed on the surface of the water.

A soft smile and calm breathing. After confirming that a good mask had been made for a mask made in haste, he straightened his saggy back straight, as if a heavy load had been placed on him.

Immediately after that, the door opened.

”Lady. I’m here.”

”Ahh!”

width.

As if someone had thrown a pillow, a feather-like presence gently settled on my lower abdomen, welcoming me into the room.

Thanks to the quick raising of the tray in my hand above my head, I was able to successfully stop the unfortunate accident that the long-awaited meal was pouring out.

Thanks to my previous experience, I had predicted that the saintess would fly into my lower abdomen.

Even the graceful staggering immediately after the collision did not reach the point of losing balance.

It was one of the bad habits that had infiltrated the saintess lately that she secretly tried to overturn the table in this way on days when food she disliked was served.

It was a good thing that the saintess’ mental age had grown so rapidly that she could even play house, but it was a definite bad thing that she had many clever tricks like this.

”Lady. If you thought I would pass the same number twice, you’d be very mistaken!”

”huh! huh!”

I still can’t see the slightest movement on the face.

Seeing him stomp his feet nervously and nervously in his seat, it seems that he is quite resentful that his plan failed.

”I told you last time. saintess. Only good kids who eat evenly and hold back what they don’t like can win the prize.”

”Yes! Ugh!”

retort!?

It was as if he knew why parents who saw their child’s deviance beat their chests and lamented.

yes. I must have felt like this

Raising children is useless to anyone, that’s probably what they say about this situation…

”ha ha ha····.”

”Yes?”

sounds funny. It really couldn’t have been more funny.

Even if it was just a fleeting moment, I laughed out loud at my own misdemeanor, acting as the saintess’ guardian.

No, it wasn’t an instant. It’s just that I didn’t think such recognition was shameful until now, because I often had thoughts similar to it.

It was just embarrassing and embarrassing.

To the subject who is trying to escape from this place someday.