36 – misunderstanding

”····This is what happened.”

Of the few specialties that are small enough to be counted with one hand, explaining the reasoning of complex things concisely, I can say that it is the one I am most confident about.

In the days when the reputation of the party was still limited to listening to promising stars, it was always my job to write a mission achievement report.

In fact, there was no one who deserved it other than me.

The writings written by the warrior bear the curse of starting with ‘I am today’ and ending with ‘I had so much fun’.

Apis’s writing skills were not bad, but perhaps because he learned the common language through children’s books, he had a strong tendency to express the circumstances of his work in a rather vague manner.

When it came to Downa, there were so many esoteric and intricate expressions that even the average knowledge level of islanders could not understand, and once a report she wrote was treated as part of an unconfirmed forbidden book.

The big team can’t even speak properly because they’re shy, let alone write.

So, taking advantage of my old major after a long time, I explained to Apis what had happened to me in chronological order, in an easy-to-understand manner, with a bit of humor added.

From the fact that I was chosen as the exclusive possession of the saintess out of nowhere, to the fact that she has a great liking for me for unknown reasons.

After I unintentionally revived a dead priest, the saintess even confessed to me that I had a strange habit of carving mysterious patterns on my body.

And the return of Apis.

”Look at me and believe me!?”

yes. To be honest, I thought this was going to happen even while I was talking.

◈◈◈

Choosing a nearby underground restaurant as a place to chat was an excellent choice.

This place is bustling even in broad daylight, where adventurers who are anxious to tell others about their grand adventures are residing day and night.

As long as you don’t create a big commotion like smashing things or screaming, it’s easy to bury the conversation between two people.

”I told you to say it right!”

Quaang!

Apis, who roared and kicked the table, caused a great uproar.

”If you’re going to make something up, make it right! what? The holy woman’s exclusive guardian priest!? Bring the dead back to life!? A passing goblin will laugh at you!”

”apis····. Could you please lower your voice… When people see…”

Right after Apis raised his voice and pushed me hard, a strange hum hit my ears, and I felt a sense of pressure as if the eyes of the shop scattered here and there were converging on the two of us.

It’s true.

I also wanted to spit it out and say sorry. Although there may be some humor in what I told Apis about, not a single grain of lies was added to it.

When a lie is exposed, if you tell the truth even belatedly, you can avoid the original situation. What on earth should I do when all the truth I have confessed is dismissed as lies?

Around the time when the thoughtful thought of such a fleeting moment was repeating fruitless idling.

Apis raised her foot roughly on the broken desk leg and opened her mouth.

”The monastery you are said to be in! I’ve already been there with my kids! I was on my way after confirming with my own eyes that not a single letter of your name was engraved on the roster there! And I know you walked around the main street in broad daylight with a nun who didn’t know where you lived, wearing a leash! He knew everything and came all the way here!”

”····Yes?”

At that moment, the universe turned off for a moment.

For example, the feeling that the brain is not processing the information received by the ears.

The existing knowledge and the newly acquired knowledge were not fully engaged, causing confusion.

”My name isn’t on the list? No, more than that, how did Apis do that…?’

A question that was difficult to get out of my mouth. Even he was stopped by the action of Apis, who held me tightly by the shoulders.

”Hey! say! Tell me! tell me! I! U.S! That’s all you can do!? Was it only that much of an existence!?’

”Now, wait! Wait! apis!”

Apis grabbed my body roughly and shook it. It was clear at a glance that desperate emotions permeated the inside of that outrageous power.

And right after that, the surroundings suddenly became noisy.

”I’m going to go to a job that is shiny to people who don’t, but in reality, I was busy playing with other girls…. What’s more, being the exclusive possession of a saintess, even if you were to lie, you should have hit it fairly… The male side is worse than a dog in the world…”

”Listening to the story, it seems that he had a child at that young age… Tsk tsk. Too bad. I really want… What’s wrong with the kids…”

”Write… The person looks fine…”

Unreasonable suspicions that I could never let go of shook the back of my head.

Apis had a thick larynx, wrapped around her body with magical items that even had a perception-damping spell on it, so it was not surprising that people’s attention would be drawn to me.

Anyway, isn’t this a bit much?

”In the meantime, what!? call boy? A male prostitute!? ”

”apis!!!”

I hurriedly tried to shut her mouth, but my halfway strength was not enough.

”oh! call boy! It’s a male prostitute! You must be crazy! You must be crazy!”

”Ugh… That guy who’s not even as good as a golden beast…”

”Where are you going? Do you accept men too?”

The shop, which had been crowded with colorful voices of adventurers, became more and more quiet like a movie theater at dawn, led by Apis’ command.

As if the sisters and sisters huddled together on the large TV in the sauna were watching the last drama in unison, the eyes in the store, glaring at the conversation between me and Apis, were almost tingling my skin.

The owner of the shop and the waiters pretended to concentrate on their work, but judging by the fact that their bodies were leaning this way, they seemed to be interested in our story as well.

Enemies are everywhere.

”apis! Seat once! Let’s talk again after moving from the seat!”

”no! I can’t wait any longer! This time, without any lies! Tell the truth about everything! Until then, I won’t move a single step from here!”

”apis!!!”

Apis’ arms, which clenched my arms firmly and did not let go, were shaken enough to look like heavy chain handcuffs.

”In the first place! You’ve always been that way! Always think of yourself! Ever since you left us with only one letter left! How desperate he was! Do you know how desperately I’ve been searching for you!? Do you know!”

”apis! I was wrong! I was absolutely wrong! So first, go outside! Let’s go outside and talk!”

”Bad… bad bastard…”

Apis grabbed me by the collar.

Eventually, as Apis’ harsh voice began to soak up the wetness of the outburst of tantrums, the eyes of the people around me began to darken with damp disgust and hostility.

”Wow····. A bastard called a father with a child runs away at night…”

”Rubbish.”

”yellow dog.”

Misunderstanding. Everyone.

It seems that I picked the wrong place even if I chose the place.

what day is it really

Suddenly, a nun becomes ill and has to run errands that she hadn’t even thought of doing, doesn’t her clothes get torn after helping a passer-by in trouble, or doesn’t she suddenly run into an old colleague she doesn’t want to meet and end up being falsely accused of being a male prostitute?

In the end, to be treated as the worst kind of human trash that led to the ruin of a family.

this is won I can’t survive if I don’t drink alcohol…

uh? alcohol?

At that very moment, an ingenious plan to overcome this chaotic situation flashed in my mind like lightning.

”waiter! Excuse me, but this shop! By any chance, are you handling wine from the monastery!?’

”Yes? oh! yes! Lord, would you like to order?”

”Hey! Don’t talk back!”

After hastily raising his hand to call the waiter, he quickly confirmed one important matter that was indispensable to the plan.

If anything, the wine that this shop sets out in our monastery. If it was a store that handles so-called ‘virgin liquor’, the probability that this store would have at least one ‘it’ in every place that receives virgin liquor would be great.

”Hey, manager! Excuse me, but can I borrow ‘The Prominence of Innocence’!”

The epitome of purity. A magic tool made by a skilled magic tool craftsman to prove the purity of human beings by cutting the horn of a unicorn stitch by stitch.

However, only priests like me call that magic tool by its official name. In an institution known for its rough temper, most people call the tool by some catchy name.

”there····. Why did the reader suddenly…?”

Because I have to write now.