12 – Heehee I can’t go

It must have been hallucinations.

It’s not uncommon for anxiety to rise and small noises to become delusions.

I thought it was the same reason that timid people sometimes mistake the sound of water dripping from a faucet as someone’s footsteps.

In fact, the fact that the little lips of the saintess did not even move, and that the words that pierced my heart were holding a cloud of war that was too eerie to be said to have come from the mouth of a living person gave persuasiveness to the aforementioned hypothesis.

”Holy Maid…?”

I tried to look at the saintess’ expression, but the attempt failed due to her clever response as she buried her face in my neck.

and right after that.

up

”Ugh!”

I broke my collarbone.

The muscles in his face stiffened, as if he had been injected with a lethal dose of poison. This was because her body, not her head, remembered what the saintess was doing when she was angry.

Suddenly, I felt a sense of deja vu.

What comes to mind is the memory of the moment when I was stabbed for the first time in my life.

The metal, which had been cold as ice even when the flesh and bones were crushed and came in, became uncontrollably hot as if someone was quenching it.

Soon after, how many times did he try to erase from his mind the horrible sensation of being sucked into the source of heat.

Around the time when the accident was paralyzed by the surrounding noise, where power was cut off from the tips of the toes, then the knee, then the lower back, and then the lower back.

When I felt the enticing drowsiness that made my eyelids heavy in the middle of the raging pain.

Oh, this is too bad.

I couldn’t come up with anything other than that insignificant feeling.

Only the strength was different, but the feeling was infinitely similar to then.

The white teeth of the saintess, who were pressing down on my skin and trying to reach my bones, were digging up the terrible nightmare buried deep inside my body.

”lie····. lie····.”

The identity of the words pierced into my heart was discovered.

It didn’t seem to be an auditory hallucination, but it wasn’t a sound either.

For example, waves.

Without a sound, as if only the meaning was directly inverted, a disturbing echo echoed ceaselessly in my head.

”I hate lies. lying is bad do not go. Here it is. stay with me Stay with me.”

Before one word was even finished, the next one overlapped one after another, so there weren’t many words that could fully understand the meaning.

”That’s a lie! No! saintess! I really… ugh!”

I won’t listen to lame excuses.

The white current that crawled up from the tips of my fingers and toes, from the tips of my body to my heart in the blink of an eye, seemed to be talking to me.

I had experienced this sensation before, as if the process of cooling and boiling all bloodstains residing inside the body was constantly repeating itself.

The protection of the saintess.

It is said to be the supreme power that God entrusted only to a handful of faithful girls, and a power that is presumed to be the origin of the means the saintess used to bring the La Novel priest to that point.

My body trembled with a sense of fear, as if the disturbing suspicion, which was like thick fog, was gradually taking concrete shape.

Holy Maiden… no way····.

”I can’t go…”

The shabby look of Priest Lan Novel came to mind.

A man who has lost his soul.

The appearance of a mere doll that couldn’t even walk alone unless someone tied it to it and led it accelerated my thinking in a bad direction.

And I had to throw it away.

The fact that the behavior of a child he had seen relentlessly begging his parents to buy toys for him was very similar to the saintess of today.

”forever····. I’m here for the rest of my life…”

Disorganized words that seem to have stemmed from distorted emotions.

It was right after hearing those words that I realized that all sensation from the waist down had disappeared.

”Heuk!”

dump.

My legs gave out, and I fell to the floor.

Even so, the fact that the saintess’ entire body was in close contact with my body remained unchanged.

The insidious heat that spreads over the skin that touches them. A dizzying body scent that passes through the nasal passages. Following the swaying texture of my rough breath, to the thin eyelashes that flutter.

Even in an urgent situation where life and death might be at stake, my pathetic self-consciousness couldn’t just pass by all of them.

That’s because she was beautiful, noble, and holy.

It was to the point where I thought that the time I had been stabbed had been better.

That ugly piece of metal could at least be trimmed, plucked, or broken.

up to here

It was around the time that even the last bit of longing I had to clear up my fading consciousness was slowly fading away like a lamp in front of the wind.

‘Father!’

Suddenly, along with a familiar voice echoing in my thoughts, what would I have done if it was ‘her’? A trivial assumption flashed through my mind.

He was positive and reckless enough to overdo it in everything, and never tolerated injustice.

If it was her who seemed to be walking around with the two letters ‘justice’ on her clothes.

If I had to face hardships and adversity that I could not overcome, would I have put everything down and become comfortable like I am now?

Pooh.

Unexpectedly, laughter leaked out.

Even though I said it with my own mouth, I thought that I said something really absurd.

No way. It couldn’t have been.

Even if the sky splits in two, even if the whole world is enveloped in an invisible darkness.

As much as she is, as much as she is, she will never give up the foolish act of walking towards the light.

”Wellna… Let go of this…”

”····no.”

The consciousness that was about to be blurred was forced to wake up by chewing on the mouth.

If it were me, it would be hard and unsightly, and I would never have chosen it. The so-called final outburst.

It wasn’t because there were still unfinished regrets. Of course, it was not because, like the main characters in other creative works, the strength and courage of an unknown source suddenly surged in the face of a crisis.

It was just an impulsive act, born of a deep longing to emulate the majesty she had shown me from time to time.

”My brother told me to let go…”

”I hate poetry…”

”Let it go when you say nice things.”

”Uh, uh…?”

me. Regis Rowville. 29 years old.

For the first time in my life, I am trying to scold a child.

◈◈◈

In a small local city where the idyllic scenery is everywhere, there are few sights that can stir the heart of a child as much as the parade of heroes and the cheers of the citizens who follow them.

The resounding sound of a trumpet and the colorful petals scattering like snowflakes bring color and vitality to the shady, gray streets.

It gives heat like the morning sun even to the innocence of children who may have cooled down.

Even the petit bourgeois, who are living a life that is difficult to earn and eat every day, cannot scold the immaturity of the children who abandon their work and run out to watch the procession at this moment.

However, increased support and enthusiasm sometimes cause unexpected anger.

”Kyaaah!”

The roar and scream cut through the shouts of the citizens who were like deterioration.

A wagon that was wrecked in half with one wheel derailed.

A girl, presumably of the age of just taking her toddler, crouching in a diagonal line.

Even with a cursory glance, it was not difficult to guess that the wagon was the result of trying to avoid a child who suddenly appeared.

”You rotten kid!”

At the command of a soldier who was directing the procession, the faces of the audience suddenly darkened.

No, would it be more appropriate to say that he has become pale?

It was a sharp blade that the soldier raised toward the child who was trembling like a rabbit in front of a beast.

It was a pitiful sight that any human with warm blood would have no choice but to harbor feelings of pity.

No one there had the courage to stand up for the poor child in trouble.

”It’s not enough to disturb the warrior’s holy march! How dare you harm the carriage carrying the hero’s statue! That ugly sin! You must be prepared to apologize with your life!”

”Heh, heh!”

As the soldier’s voice grew higher, the child’s expression gradually darkened as if he had spilled even light ink.

As a child whose ability to think hadn’t matured yet, the only thing he could do was feel the vague anxiety that something was going wrong.

I instinctively crouched in fear as if my skin was being pricked with needles.

It was a tragic fact that everyone there except the child himself realized that there was no way to cut that huge blade with such an insignificant response.

”missing child!”

It was then. The boy presumed to be the child’s brother and sister stood in the way of the soldiers.

”I’m sorry! soldier! The rudeness my sister committed! I sincerely apologize! I will pay for the damage my family has done, even if I have to work for the rest of my life! Boo, please! Please have mercy!”

Shabby clothes and scruffy faces.

Without even a moment’s hesitation, the soldier, who had guessed from the servile demeanor of lying flat on the floor and the poor status of the boy, raised his voice once more as if he had nothing to hold back.

”under! You’re going to spend your whole life paying it off? yes! If the only thing broken was the wagon, I might have been able to make up for it! However, the statue that was on the wagon and damaged by your younger brother was a special order made by the royal family to praise the hero’s great achievements! In the lifetime of a commoner, it is impossible to even help a toe, let alone compensate!”

”Cheuk! I’m sorry… I’m sorry! sorry!”

The words of apology that the boy who was grabbed by the collar desperately regurgitated only inflamed the soldier’s anger.

The appeal of a person who knows nothing and has nothing is so insignificant.

Still, the boy had no choice but to repeat.

Maybe you can be forgiven. Maybe someone can reach out a hand.

Because he thought that there would be no way to protect his one and only sister other than clinging to that vague hope that even the boy himself felt was insignificant.

The boy repeated over and over again the unsightly prayer that no one listened to.

”All of this! all! It’s my fault for neglecting to take care of my flesh and blood! I will apologize with my life for the sin of tarnishing the hero’s reputation! so! Please, as much as my brother!”

”noisy! How dare you try to give me an opinion on the subject of a commoner!”

It was around the time that the soldier raised his sword high into the sky, as if to shake off the boy’s plea.

”Execution!”

”Keugh!”

What resonated in the boy’s ears, whose visual information was cut off because his eyes were tightly closed, was the sound of someone’s courageous and beautiful spirit.

”Hero Punch─!!!”