116 – Undisputed Worst First Meeting (1)

Loneliness is like a chill.

Climbing up slowly from the cold bottom, when she came to her senses, this chi, which was already rooted in the skin, remembered the name of the trembling sensation, albeit belatedly.

”it’s cold·····.”

Both shoulders held on unintentionally.

The temperature was not much different from usual.

However, at this moment when she was left alone again in this wide, white space where no trace of life could be found, she had no doubt that her own skin would be colder than the ice field.

”·····”

As she looked up at the sky, her eyes suddenly widened.

That sorrowful gaze, as if trying to dig up something on the inside of her retina, not something reflected on her retina, told her that she was now immersed in deep thoughts.

For the past few months, the colorless girl’s dry world has been dominated by dazzling colors.

The crooked vision, which seemed to have been covered with an opaque membrane over the pupil, became clear enough to fully recognize the shape of the object.

I learned that the unpleasant noises, which were no more and no less than an annoying noise, were also the voices of other people, and I could even tell who belonged to whom.

I also naturally realized that the texture of the skin, which did not inspire me even if I put an iron in the back of my hand, creates an indescribable sense of happiness when I am in close contact with someone.

waiting for tomorrow

I longed for this happiness to last forever.

memory. personality. emotion. five senses.

For her, who has been deprived of all means to affirm herself, the colors of everyday life that densely fill her heart, which has become a white sheet of paper, are like a lighthouse beyond the invisible fog.

and the subject of that light. The source of hope was clear.

”Brother…”

Even with a throat worn out from crying, only the voice calling out to him was as clear as an oriole in the early morning.

Even she herself did not know exactly when the existence of him within her had grown so large.

It was only relatively recently that she fully remembered that he had a connection with her in the past.

However, the fact that only the man was strangely clear was naturally imprinted in his head, while all beings in the world except himself seemed hazy and blurry.

through. With her eyes closed, she desperately recalled the past.

No matter how much her heart has regained its original state to some extent thanks to the man’s mysterious power, to her now, the past is no different from the scenery outside the window that sometimes passes her eyes.

If you hold it in your eyes for a while, it feels very interesting, but that’s all.

Mere visual information that is not impressive enough to create any inspiration, nor impressive enough to remind you of something you’ve forgotten.

However, even so, she reminds me of the past. Someday beyond the crude screen created by the mysterious black box.

Always, always, every day, the reason I was looking at it was no different.

Because that dry landscape was the only existence other than herself that she could fully recognize.

From the day she was born again as a saint with the fortune of this world, from an ordinary girl seen in the streets of the village, her world is composed of this empty space and the black screen that randomly screens her past life. Because only the cube was unique.

However, at this moment, she was trying to draw, draw, and recall the past with her own will.

Praying earnestly that he, who had left himself coldly, would return to this place with the awkward smile he had always seen.

◈◈◈

What are all these pathetic little guys?

The day she met the man for the first time, she felt that way.

I didn’t know if it was a somewhat, no, quite a lot of rude expression for a person who was invited.

It was clear that anyone who saw a human lying on the sidewalk in broad daylight, eagerly searching for cigarette butts left by others, would have had similar sentiments to her.

If her sister, who was always busy hugging her, had been there with her, she would have pulled her hand, saying that she shouldn’t get involved with such a suspicious person.

Unlike herself, who had not been able to adapt to the unfamiliar monastic environment for a long time due to her weak and timid nature, her competent sister, who did anything above average, was able to follow her and take care of her from early morning. I didn’t have enough free time.

Even though they are of the same blood, even though they are candidates for the same saint, the difference in quality is so extreme.

It was a phrase that she heard countless times from people around her, and she herself repeated it endlessly in her mind.

”there·····.”

It was because of a curious curiosity.

A suspicious person who would normally have been reluctant to even approach, let alone talk to.

Although the appearance belonged to the decent side, the curiosity about why he was doing such an eccentricity, which made him look even more suspicious, made her lips twitch.

”Hey, over there… If you don’t mind rudeness, would it be okay if I ask what you’re doing right now…?”

A clear sense of bewilderment. In response to her question, which seemed to have a slight sense of contempt, the man replied as follows.

”Little boy… I’m sorry for the first meeting, but could you lend me some money…?”

worst. It was the worst first impression without a doubt.

The girl used to recall the memories of that day.

◈◈◈

alcohol and money. and woman.

For those who wish to walk the path of priesthood, it is said that even if you wet your ankles a little, you should not immerse your body so much that your head is submerged.

It was a fact that even she knew all too well at the time, when she was dark with the world, that the discipline that was once called the iron law had now degenerated into an outdated and outdated law.

It was the first time, both in name and reality, that the author, who was known as a priest, did not even pretend to observe such manners in real life.

”I’m sorry! Sister! I don’t even know that the sister is a member of that saint woman candidate, so I’m going to stop blaspheming!”

”Oh, no… Poetry, don’t worry…”

It was embarrassing.

Whenever he tried to borrow money from himself, a first-time guest, and as soon as he heard about his identity, he suddenly slammed his head into the ground and repeatedly apologized, because it was a new type of race that had never been seen before.

It was clear that she was a candidate for a saintess, but she should have told her that she was nothing more than a so-called failed student, with the probability of being selected as a saintess infinitely converging to zero.

From the sight of a grown adult lying on his face without hesitation to himself, a child who had not yet lost all of his baby teeth, he even felt fear that was indescribable.

It wasn’t too difficult to guess from the plain pattern on the habit he was wearing that he was a new priest who had just become a priest.

Eventually, I was able to quickly realize from his words and actions what reason he was engaging in such an eccentricity.

”I’m really sorry·····. Yesterday, I was drunk and got into a gambling dispute, and I was completely broke because such an unexpected disaster overlapped with the date of remittance to the orphanage, which happens once a month… I don’t even have money to buy cigarettes. hahahaha····.”

The way he scratched his neck as if he had no face reminded me of a filthy father returning home after losing all his fortune in gambling.

It seemed to be true that he was drunk and had a gambling dispute, but he couldn’t be seen as a sincere person who would send remittances to the orphanage every month as he picked up cigarette butts that others had smoked from the neck of the monastery. At the time, it was assumed that he lied.

After all, it must have been dedicated to a cheap window shop around here.

It was because my sister had always taught her that, no matter how much she was afraid of the clergy, all men were a people who never coveted a woman’s body.

”But can I really take it? This is Sister’s morning…”

”There’s no need to say no… It’s just one potato… Helping someone in need is a natural thing for those who walk the path of the clergy… Ah, ho, if you don’t like potatoes, it’s okay to decline…”

”Oh no! I love those potatoes! I am confident that I will not get bitten if I eat only potatoes for a month. Daily Bread Thank you very much again. Sister.”

Even if there was no shame, it wasn’t that I didn’t even notice.

The man’s bubbly behavior, sweating profusely at the kindness and sarcasm he gave, seemed quite comical.

The reason for giving him his own breakfast was no different.

It was because I wasn’t in the mood to eat breakfast today, and to be honest, it wasn’t such a bad feeling to see a grown adult desperately bowing down to myself, who had always been paying attention to others.

”I will never forget this grace. Sister. It’s okay if you treat me as an older brother and rely on me to your heart’s content!”

”I’m sorry, but I’ll say no, no, no…”

That short meeting was the beginning of everything.

It was also over.