64 – Secret Garden (4)

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Read at noblemtl. com

Jealousy is one of the emotions we need to be most careful with among human emotions, even mentioned in the Ten Commandments and the Seven Deadly Sins. There are different types of jealousy and there is intensity.

First of all, the jealousy I have for the fact that my ability or the treatment I receive is inferior to others. And jealousy when a loved one expresses affection to someone other than himself.

Both feelings of jealousy can be treated 180 degrees depending on the situation or the object of the jealousy. In particular, if a person harbors the former’s jealousy despite being a lover, it is an established theory that the person who made them harbor the jealousy is bad.

It is because the former belongs to the case of giving priority to friends over lovers, or showing more respect for strangers than wives.

I was deceived by familiarity and did not know the value of it. did you say A wife would know everything about her inside anyway, so people who only care about appearances to strangers would be like that.

However, to think that I did something similar to those tribes, it was too short even if I thought it was short.

When I listened to Lily asking why she was angry, it was because she was a lover, so she just pretended to be jealous of the latter, but the reality was no different from that of the former.

“I’ve asked you several times. Did anything special happen until you broke up with me and went to Wiridia today, did you say hello to the party members?”

The gist was. I had heard rumors that Anna and I were doing such and such things in the middle of a cafe in broad daylight, but, like the last time with Grace, they believed that it would be nothing in reality and waited for me to tell them about it.

So, since I don’t know if I actually did something wrong, I changed the questions in various ways and asked if something had happened with Anna.

And my answer to that is.

“You mean ‘Yes, nothing happened’? No, why don’t you explain anything to me about wearing an artificial eye mask without an eye patch…?”

You can’t be angry if you’re not angry at this. When I thought about it, I finally realized that there was no explanation about the prosthetic eye.

But good enough for this. It was a problem that could be passed over as saying sorry or apology without having to kneel down.

But there’s no way. Listening to Lily’s point of view, today I managed to endure until I opened my mouth… I was about to think that.

“How could I hear from Marianne that you wear prosthetic eyes? If you hear such news, you should tell me first… No, at least if you meet face to face, you should at least tell me when you started wearing prosthetic eyes…?!”

Lily after that.

-Is the color of this bill red? Well, Odd Eye stands out a lot. The last prosthesis was also cool, but I like this one better. I’m used to it.

Even when he brought up the topic first, if he had told me, he wouldn’t have come to the point where he would get angry. Even though he went through a situation where he heard news of his lover from a lady-in-waiting.

Yes, let’s admit it. I was too complacent.

The other day, because Anna had talked in front of Lily that she would make me a prosthetic eye, Lily also said, ‘Ah, that prosthetic eye was made by Anna. Then, you’ve met Anna and solved the prosthetic problem.’ The problem was that I knew that I would pass after reasoning appropriately.

Even if I could infer and know that, as long as we form a relationship as lovers, and since we are just in the early stages of dating, it is natural that we want to share even the smallest details of each other’s daily lives, but I didn’t notice that.

Not to mention, a problem like a prosthetic eye can’t be said to be insignificant, so I must have been rotting my insides on my own for quite some time.

“You even kissed me! You did that first the other day too! You said everything about you exists for me… I don’t even want that, I just want to be second to everyone else when it comes to you…”

Coming this far, is this an emotion that can now be called jealousy, or is it just a very valid complaint?

To be honest, I have my own reasons for not thinking that far.

The first is that we had to think for a long time about what our lives and destiny would be like according to the changed flow of development. As a result, I always thought about Lily, but I never thought about this kind of love.

The second is the fact that I am a dating eunuch who has never experienced a normal relationship.

It’s true that Lily hadn’t experienced dating, but it was only natural that if both of them had no experience in dating, women would show superior grades in terms of consideration and other things.

Moreover, I was a guy who didn’t even have that common friend, so I said everything.

Even after being possessed by this world, Ian was the only one he could call a friend.

Of course, in this world, I can make as many friends as I can, but I have my own reasons for not forming friendships.

‘Well, putting this aside for now… Now, the key is how to relieve Lily’s mood.’

It is not okay to apologize blindly. The moment I opened my mouth to apologize because Lily seemed to be in a bad mood, I experienced firsthand that this is the worst handshake ever.

That would also be the case, ‘Princess, I… sorry. What did I do wrong… .’

Before I could finish my words, Lily shrugged her shoulders and even started using polite words at me, saying, ‘I’m really mad at you.’ Isn’t that what the stance was?

“And why are you apologizing out of the blue? At least if you were proud of your actions, don’t apologize at all…! I want you to think about the position of the side who suddenly said you’re sorry! My heart sank! I thought it was an apology for doing the same with me!”

In the middle of trying to rationalize my actions in Lily’s way, when I blindly apologized, I didn’t know the reason or why, but the result was that the apology that had accumulated in the end exploded.

“Princess…”

“To be honest, I’m worried that Anna and Grace are super cute and pretty. Unlike me, they have personalities that men like.”

Because her innate smallness and cuteness hit the limit, she is an existence that can be loved by anyone.

A faithful virgin and saint with a body so voluptuous that all men ‘except Ian’ unconsciously turn their heads at least once. A symbol of benevolence.

Cuteness, body, and gentleness are always included whenever men talk about women who are like their ideal type. Lily couldn’t help but feel anxious because women who had those things could be said to be the whole of my relationships.

Is a woman who has many boyfriends, whom men often complain about, suitable as a girlfriend? Wouldn’t that be a similar topic?

What if all of those male friends were pretty boys or guys like Golden Sun? what did you say

In addition to that, our princess added words as if it wasn’t over yet.

“Even if you don’t want to do that, Finn, you don’t know what the other person will be like! Anna also said that she was dressed up in something unusual… Besides, do you know that the eyes of the girls around you are strange these days?”

Did the girls’ gaze at me change into something strange?

I don’t know if it’s because I’m a man, or if it’s because the gaze doesn’t contain the idea of simply living.

Our Lily… Are you not conscious of how men look at you?

No, it wouldn’t have been. Before learning that I was Finn, Lily had openly praised her beauty in front of me.

If so, this case is only one.

That case I saw on You Tube. Anyone can see that the woman is a waste, but the woman said, ‘This squid is mine! Where are you going?!’ An absurd situation to cast.

Of course, it’s true that Finn’s appearance is of a high standard, but it wasn’t to the extent that Lily standing in front of me trembled with anxiety.

The appearance that can be called very handsome by anyone and the appearance that can ruin a country with just one appearance is different.

At the academy, what was the reason that men couldn’t even talk to Lily easily, only sending sly glances at her?

It was because the underlying thought was that even if the class wasn’t right, it wasn’t right.

She was born as a princess, her academy grades were top, and her appearance was at least as good as Selina’s.

To be honest, Selina and Lily are also issues that can be divided a little due to differences in taste, so I’m not sure.

In other words, if Selina had openly declared that she would go after me, the current Lily has a strangely friendly attitude towards those guys who would only turn into female squids if they stood next to her.

‘It’s rather Selina who should be nervous. That bastard, Ian, is bewitching women here and there without fidelity.’

But what can I do? What I did wrong was wrong, and it was my negligence for not being considerate of Lily’s feelings in an unfamiliar relationship.

‘Do you know how much I suffered because of the princess?’ If I said something like that, Lily might lock herself in her room in shock and starve herself.

The honorifics had also returned to short speeches from some time ago, and it had been a long time since the title changed from maidservant to pin. It is said that thanks to the complaint, the anger has already been relieved to some extent.

It’s a story of love without even experiencing anything like this, but I think that love is a process of slowly carving out a puzzle that doesn’t fit with the other person.

How to make a puzzle that fits perfectly from the start… So, can you meet the opponent? It’s slowly coming together.

So, rather than just shut up and wait for Lily’s anger to subside, let me act first.

As with human beings, as always, if you have finished worrying, the action that follows at the end of the worrying is extremely swift.

I robbed my seat and stood up, holding Lily’s hand, and honestly confessed my feelings without embellishment.

Lily flinched at the sudden grabbing of her hand, but she didn’t reject it, so it must be the correct answer.

“This… it’s the first time I’ve ever had a relationship with someone I love, so I must have worried the princess because I was clumsy in many ways.”

“That, I, I’m not the first…!”

Oops, I didn’t expect this answer here.

It’s a bit far away, but it was just in case Leafre and Bianca, who were sitting on the opposite bench, could overhear our conversation, so I hugged Lily and cut her off.

Because there is a setting that she had a fiance externally.

“Ah, suddenly what is this…pin…?”

A voice that could not even sense the slightest hint of anger. It was a random choice, but it also seemed to be the right answer.

“Because this attendant had a crush on the princess so much, she actually committed disloyalty by not being considerate of you, the princess. I’m just sorry.”

“Huh? I don’t think it’s disloyal…”

“That’s not true. It’s disloyalty that arose out of ignorance. So, princess, why don’t you tell this lacking attendant a bit more about you? Like the princess, I don’t know how to understand and act so easily.”

“…If you want to say that, shouldn’t you ask for a woman’s feelings?”

Lily asked as she lifted her head out of my arms. Since you don’t know about dating, shouldn’t you ask for a woman’s heart?

The answer to that question was already out there, so I was able to answer without hesitation.

With a bright smile on your face.

“The only woman I’ll ever have is the princess, so why do I need a woman’s heart? This small bowl is more than enough for the princess alone. So, it would be great if you could tell me about you, not the woman’s heart.”