107 – Death of Kim Bin (4)

* * * *

Autumn is already in full swing.

The warm sunlight that seems to make you feel sleepy falls through the stained glass of the cathedral in rainbow colors.

serene silence.

It’s not a bad silence.

I didn’t go to church regularly.

Since I regretted what I had done as a child, I hadn’t set foot near the cathedral.

The reason why I suddenly visited the cathedral was surprisingly not a big deal.

Not too long ago, Grace had been persistently recommending that we go to the cathedral.

There was no reason to refuse, and above all, I moved my feet naturally as if I was bewitched by the words Grace gave me, as if asking me to.

-Basically, the Lord wants the living to have such and such things… Even if you pray like this, you will not hear it. It’s snobbish, and the purpose is clear.

-So, Her Highness, how about praying for the well-being of those in the underworld? they… to make your stay as comfortable as possible.

Saying that the purpose should not be clearly visible, he secretly looks at me.

How can I not know? The fact that all of you are thinking of me.

I’m sure this invitation was made in hopes that I would regain my energy even a little bit.

“…Lord, please.”

But I’m sorry.

Your desire to repay me is like a chimney, but a hole has already been pierced in my heart.

very big… A hole that is dark and does not know the end of its depth.

No matter how hard I tried to fill that hole in my heart with friendship with you, it wasn’t long before the hole became empty again.

“Please, please.”

So this is the limit of what I can do.

I am barely holding on to my feelings of longing for death with the reason that I must somehow try to live like a tenacious person.

“I hope I can meet my relationship as soon as possible.”

I just opened my eyes and got up from my seat.

My face is reflected through the glass window.

Her haggard appearance is now impossible to hide even with pure white cream. The droopy dark circles clearly show that my condition is not normal.

“…The pink color is gone now.”

He touched the tip of my light pink hair and recited it.

A perfect silver white color with no trace of pink anymore.

It was only then that I realized that the pink color on the ends of my hair was, on the one hand, a means to symbolize the health of my body.

“If I had known it would be like this, during summer vacation… I would have asked to be embraced.”

When you die, will you go to the underworld in the same way you were before you died?

I felt sorry for myself because of this sudden feeling of anxiety.

At least for the first time, because I wanted to embrace you in the prettiest way.

Wouldn’t that be much better than this bare bones?

to you too Me too.

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Just at that time, you didn’t tell me that you wanted me right now, so I just waited. Now that I think about it, there was no such thing as an idiot.

It seems that I was so happy that they cherished me, so I did it without realizing it.

I’ve been greedy

Then everything is over like this… I waited until I became an adult, and if I gave my all to you, I’d be greedy that I would be able to feel the sense of you caring for me.

No way, I thought I’d leave first while saving it.

“I was the one who proudly preached that you shouldn’t regret things that you can’t help but… I really feel like an idiot.”

The sun high in the sky announced that the tea time promised with Evangeline had arrived.

Since she couldn’t get into the academy, on the grounds near the academy.

Apparently, some of the elves use magic that can create a flower garden in an instant.

“Because I can’t be late. That’s not like a princess.”

Now the time has come to hide the sadness and put on the disgusting mask.

A forced smile.

I felt even more bizarre when I hung out with my unhealthy body.

But what can I do? this is the best i can do

With lonely eyes, I left the cathedral one last time looking at the place where I had been praying.

… Just in case, I wonder if his warmth came to my side.

* * * *

“Ah…! Lee, Lily-sama!”

Evangeline jumps and greets me from afar.

It was understandable to see the helpless expressions of the elves surrounding them and Leafre, who was sandwiched between them.

In a way, Evangeline’s position can be said to be similar to mine.

“How have you been, Evangeline?”

“Yes, yes…! Thanks to that. But that…”

He hesitates and keeps looking me up and down.

“why?”

“Lily-sama… are you okay?”

“I’m fine. What’s the reason not to be fine? These days, it’s sunny, so every day is fun.”

When I smiled brightly like that, the expressions of the elves who were looking at me changed strangely.

Soon after, he looked at Evangeline with worried eyes, and before they could say anything, Evangeline reached out to the elves.

“Stop it, pay attention to what you say from now on.

Perhaps because of the experience of living this level of power for granted since he was born, his attitude towards the elves is quite natural.

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Judging from the fact that he used honorific terms not only for elves, but also for those lower in rank than himself, he might be proud of his absolute power only with elves.

“I’m fine, I could make a mistake.”

He waved his hand at Evangeline and said.

Generosity is one of the basic virtues. It is important to protect each and every one of these little things.

“By the way, the flowers are pretty. Are these all flowers that bloom in the fall?”

Colorful flowers filled the garden. Among them were flowers that even I, the princess, had never heard of.

Clearly, the knowledge of flowers is a secret… .

… .

… .

“Oh, yes! I prepared the prettiest flowers for this season. I could have prepared sunflowers and other flowers, but…”

He looked up at me and spoke.

“Well, I don’t think it’s good.”

“…So? I thought I knew a lot about flowers, but I guess I can’t keep up with the elves.”

In a sense of pride, he stroked Evangeline’s head.

Ehehe.

Evangeline, who was scratching her cheeks in joy and embarrassment, suddenly came to me and took me into my arms.

“But, I like Lily-sama as much as flowers. She’s the only, one… person who treats me without prejudice.”

“…Thank you, I like Evangeline a lot too.”

Despite my answer, Evangeline just quietly hid her face in my arms for a while after that.

How long has it been?

“Evangeline?”

Standing like this all the time was also strange, so I called her name.

“Ah. I’m sorry. I didn’t know…ehehe.”

Evangeline falling from me as if nothing had happened. A faint red color bloomed around her eyes, letting her know that she had just been crying.

“Evangeline is a fool.”

I pretended not to know her tears.

It was an unavoidable choice.

Because a princess cannot shed tears in front of others.

Therefore, it is a cowardly escape from reality chosen to maintain aloofness.

… I’m sorry, Evangeline.

Originally, I should have hugged you and cried with you.

I… It’s a little hard.

I hope you understand.

If I couldn’t control my emotions even once, I wouldn’t be able to properly receive punishment.

I hope you will forgive me for making selfish choices even though you guys have been there for me.

With such selfish wishes, I spent tea time with Evangeline.

filled… I said chamomile tea. Originally, black tea was basic, but it was specially prepared for me.

… Continued attentive care of children.

Even though I was obviously in a fortunate situation, my heart was struggling to satisfy my hunger even more.

What if it was him every time the kids thought of me?

It was because the sudden thought of how he would react if he saw me like this stabbed my heart.

“…This is absurd.”

Come to think of it, it was a nonsensical topic in the first place. How can I feel sad when he is by my side.

It’s so strange that a smile doesn’t leak out of the happiness that fills my mind.

again and again.

Tea time must be over, on the way back to the dormitory, someone, a woman with a familiar silhouette, is standing neatly.

A pure white saint’s attire.

The rosary around her neck and the gold border around her clothes shone brilliantly.

“…Grace?”

When asked why she was standing in the dark near the Faculty of Magic dormitory, Grace answered me with a firm face.

“…Her Highness the Princess, I have something to tell you.”

“Is it important?”

He opened his mouth a few times, then nodded.

“Yes. Her Highness and me… It’s a matter that may change everything.”

Not a benevolent smile, but a resolute expression. I felt a strange feeling in Grace’s unresponsive appearance.

“…Okay, then let’s head to the cathedral.”

* * * *

“Lily… are you eating well? Sleep well.”

“Um…”

Finn drools with an expression that he doesn’t know what to say.

And then, he rolls his eyes towards me.

“Isn’t that a fact you need to know? Her Highness’s lover is you.”

“I said it because I was worried because I thought it wouldn’t happen no matter how much I thought about it, because I was worried!”

“…is it.”

“okay.”

Silence that flows for a while.

It was I who broke the silence.

“…I miss you. But I can’t see you again.”

“…? What kind of contradictory bullshit is that?”

He glares at me with a grim face, telling me not to say something I don’t understand.

“Of course. This is hell, what if Lily comes here? Even if she goes, she has to go to heaven.

“…Don’t talk about your side of the world that I can’t understand.”

He rolled his eyes for a moment, then continued.

“Her Highness, the princess, will surely go to heaven when it is time for her to die someday. Even right before she died, she was the one who moved her sick body to save one of her attendants.”

“…Well, Lily didn’t just blindly kill people like you and I did.”

Apparently, Finn came to hell because during the war, he had killed only enemies of the Empire, regardless of whether they were good or bad.

As a knight, it is a commendable achievement, but from the point of view of a god, it is a different situation.

“…Then, I just wish I hadn’t seen it. I hope time heals Lily, forgets me and lives happily ever after.”

Sad, bittersweet, but… what can i do

Let’s wish for the happiness of the person we love rather than our own happiness.

Leaving Finn’s eyes watching me silently behind me, I lay flat on the ground as usual, full of bad vibes.

“Still, at least one last word of love… I wanted to say it directly. It’s a pity.”

So I said what I wanted to say in my heart.

Eat well. sleep well don’t get hurt

Please be happy, as much as my share. no, more than that.