12. Old Relationships – 02

saw hell

I saw what I shouldn’t have seen.

I have seen the hell that I have reached someday and will reach in the future.

To him, hell was a word that meant all the moments where he was living, breathing, and leading his own life right now.

That is why he did not like his life so much.

He was always a loner.

From his point of view, there was nothing beautiful in the world.

There is nothing eternal in the world.

Even if it is a machine whose entire body is made of steel, it is an unavoidable fate that the more you use it, the more it wears out.

And what was worn out for him was none other than the time spent with others.

Even though he lived in the same space and the same time as other people, he felt only a faint sense of reality that he was alive.

Over the past hundred years, he has traveled back in time and tried to change the future by traveling back and forth to the same time zone countless times in order to avert preordained doom.

And in the process, he witnessed the deaths of many people and engraved the sacrifices of many people in his heart.

It was sad at first. She shed tears over the deaths of others, and once again held on to her own heart, saying that their sacrifices would never be in vain.

But since when?

At some point, he stopped feeling nothing about other people’s deaths.

As if playing a game, not only did they become insensitive to the deaths of others, but they even reached the point where they coolly analyzed the ’cause of death’.

I’d be resurrected anyway.

If I go back anyway, all the things that happened now will be nothing.

After all, I have another chance, so if I do better next time, I might be able to erase their deaths-

Thus, once lofty ideals are reduced to powerless obligations.

So he was exhausted.

While living a long time, I also forgot about myself.

What was he forgetting, and what was he pursuing?

What the hell was he wishing for, endlessly going back and forth in countless time zones?

“Master, is it okay if the celestial maiden dares to say a word to you?”

And when was it? After another fierce battle, she approached her lord with a tired face and quietly offered words of remonstrance.

“What the hell are you trying to say? Are you thinking of nagging again?”

Her master looked at her and quietly clicked his tongue.

“It’s a cheesy nag. The celestial maiden is only your faithful servant who always thinks only of the master’s worries and comfort. How can I nag my master like that?”

“… That’s what nagging is. If you have something to say, do it quickly and disappear before my eyes. Because I have no desire to talk to anyone right now.”

The owner looked at her and waved his hand as if he was really tired and tired.

However, if it seemed like she would back down like this, she didn’t even intend to speak from the beginning, so she stood firm in front of her master and quietly opened her mouth.

“Why does Master keep away from you instead of keeping her around? And when are you going to show this celestial maiden the baby of the master?”

“… lady? Baby?”

In an instant, her owner made a grumpy expression, blowing away all the fatigue that had been on her face just before, and then hurriedly shuts her mouth so that no one will listen.

“How did you know that? I don’t think I remember ever telling you about my love life?”

“Of course, the master has never told the celestial maiden anything related to the madam. But doesn’t this celestial maiden have the ability to see the past and the future? I have merely stolen the future related to Master through my abilities.”

Saying that, she glanced at Altina, who was sharpening her sword on the other side.

“Until now, I didn’t dare interfere, I was just watching and thinking, but as a celestial maiden, I don’t understand the master’s actions a little. Didn’t the master love you, and still love you? But why is Master keeping his distance from you, consciously trying to distance himself from you?”

“I guess that’s none of your business.”

“If the celestial maiden dares to speak her mind presumptuously, it seems that the master is afraid. It seems that you are shrinking without realizing it because you are afraid to give affection. Aren’t you afraid that the mistress will leave from within your hands, as in the past?”

In an instant, her master’s face hardened as if he had been stabbed to the point.

As usual for people who have been hit hard, he even showed a little anger towards her.

But even for a while, her owner sighed and looked at Altina, who was far away. No matter how you look at it, it must have been a sign of affirmation to her words.

“… yes, that’s right I consciously stay away from Altina. I still have feelings for Altina, but that’s why I’m afraid to stand by her side. Because this world is a world full of destruction, and it is certain that I will not be able to protect Altina to the end in this lifetime as well.”

“In this situation, it is clear that I am greedy to be with her by putting my feelings first. Rather, it was the right decision for me to take on everything without telling Altina anything-”

“No, it’s not like that. master.”

At that time, she resolutely cut off her master’s words in the middle and spoke as if it were an assertion.

“That’s why you shouldn’t resist your own desires. I think you should pursue happiness as best you can in a life that remains true to what you want, to what you want, and to your heart.”

“…What?”

For a moment, her owner made an absurd expression.

“Did you really understand what I said? You must be well aware of this? This world is currently on the verge of extinction in real time, a world full of death. What on earth does playing with love in such a world change? ?”

“At least, the mood of the master may be different. Or if the master is not suffering as much as he is now.”

She is quiet, but as if she could never yield to this, she continued to speak toward him with all her heart.

“I want to love her, I want to hold her tightly in my arms, I want to monopolize her- Desire is the meaning and driving force of human life. If you forcibly suppress it, there is no meaning to live for human beings.”

“Make love. Be affectionate toward someone. And in the process, remember once again the desire that Master had in the past. Because that is the only happiness that can be pursued by the Master on the journey he is walking on.”

Just like a prophet in a myth, her master sighed and laughed as he listened to her utterances with far-off vertigo.

“Everything is good, but I’m a romantic no matter how you look at it. I don’t really like to seduce a woman and force my one-sided love on every episode.”

“I’m fine. Isn’t this celestial maiden by your side just in preparation for such a situation?”

“… What?”

For a moment, her owner didn’t realize what the hell she was talking about.

“I am not proud of it, but the celestial maiden has never thought that her face or body is inferior to that of other women. In addition, the cheonnyeo is the only companion who can understand the master on his journey that will continue in the future. So, if you feel that you want to hug a woman in the future, I will listen to you with all my heart.”

“… Sucheong?”

“Ah, if you think that I might put aside the mistress and pretend to be the main wife, then you don’t have to worry. I am nothing more than a servant who serves my master by his side, so there is no way I could have hopes that do not fit my weight.”

… Like a crazy woman How could she say with her own mouth that she was listening to another man or being held in his arms so easily?

Well, if she had been a sane woman, she wouldn’t have bothered anyone to pretend to be his servant and take him as her master in the first place.

Whether or not she knew what he was thinking, she once again bowed deeply toward her master and quietly opened her mouth.

Yes, as if you were talking to yourself and not to anyone else.

“Please remember. And please don’t forget I’m always on your side It has always been so, and it will be so in the future.”

****

“… ah.”

Open your eyes. No, my eyes were forced open.

Right before I lost consciousness and fell asleep, I remembered lying on Altina’s lap and listening to her lullaby, but I couldn’t remember what happened after that.

If there’s anything I can remember, it’s the fact that I’m feeling an unpleasant feeling, as if someone has entered and left my head.

To have a headache. If until just now, the recoil of Exceed made me feel as if my whole body would break, now I felt a terrible headache as if my eyes would pop out of my head.

What is it? What the hell happened while I was asleep?

– Look to the side.

For some reason, Erekaya’s voice sounded pathetic. I turned my head to the side at the sound of her voice.

“under?”

Right next to me, the scene of Serica von Wallenstein lying down comes into view.

He was dressed in a dangerously dangerous way, and the expression that he was taking off his clothes, rather than wearing them properly, would be more appropriate.

… Why is he lying next to me dressed like this? No, why are you lying on the bed I was lying on before?

No matter how much I thought about it, I lifted up the blanket I was covering just before as if I was frightened at the series of situations that I couldn’t understand.

“…..”

Fortunately, Celica and I didn’t seem to have been together until we left.

… No, is this really something to be thankful for? Could this be a responsibility without pleasure or something?

I really didn’t even lift a finger at this woman, but why was she sleeping next to me while acting like this?

If someone else witnessed this situation, wouldn’t it be at the level of committing social suicide?

As I hesitated, not being able to do this or that while being a parent, Celica, who had been soundly asleep next to me until now, quietly opened her eyes.

“… Mmm.”

Celica first confirmed that I was by her side, then checked her disheveled clothes, and then her face blushed red.

… Surely this isn’t just a gross misunderstanding, is it? Don’t be offended if I did something really weird, I really never laid a finger on him!

“… You’re finally awake, master. This is the moment when I was really worried because I hadn’t woken up for quite a while.”

“Yes, senior. Anyway, why the hell are you lying here-”

In an instant, goose bumps ran through my whole body. What did he say to me just now? If my ears aren’t wrong, Celica just looked at me and clearly-

“Please keep your voice down. You don’t have to call me senior. At least, it’s okay if you don’t bother using honorifics to me where other people don’t hear you.”

Saying that, Celica nodded and bowed toward me without tidying up her disheveled clothes.

“The celestial maiden meets my only master. I am your one and only servant, Celica von Wallenstein.”

“…..”

It seemed clear that it was not Celica, the student council vice president and my senior, but Celica von Wallenstein, a crazy woman who claimed to be my slave.