A World Without Punchlines

At Saint-Noel Academy, it was time for the winter break after the Holy Eve Festival. In previous years, Mia always left for Lunatear ten days after the festival, and then attend her birthday festival.

This year, she left early because she had to do something. Mia and her group didn’t go to the imperial capital, but instead to the Rudolvon Outcounty. On their way to Tearmoon, they went through the south of Belluga.

As a bit of trivia about time travel, it was the same path that the Sunkland army had taken when the empire had been destroyed by a revolution.

From there, they moved in secret toward the Yellowmoon domain.

You know, there’s something really satisfying about marching down this path. This is what I call poetic justice.

After all, the Chaos Serpents had gotten Mia in a corner through this route. Now she was using the same route to corner them. Every step she took made her happy to get back at them.

They went around the Sealence Forest, then headed straight north. Soon, they reached a village near the Yellowmoon capital.

There, they met Ludwig and the Princess Guard, who were standing in a line at the village entrance to greet her.

“We are overjoyed that Your Highness has returned safely,” Ludwig said as Mia got out of the carriage.

“Yes, it’s good to be back.” Even though Mia tried to get Ludwig to stand up, he stayed on his knees and kept his head down, which made Mia frown. “Is there something else you want to say?”

After a short period of silence, Ludwig said, “No, Your Highness,” in a serious voice. “I can’t say anything to defend myself. I can’t make up for the bluner I made, and all I can do is apologize.”

“Oh? A blunder, you say?”

“Even though I knew that assassin’s path would take him through Belluga, I wasn’t able to keep Your Highness out of harm’s way,” he said with regret in his voice. Mia’s eyes grew wide when she saw what was happening.

My! A glum Ludwig? Now, you don’t see that every day! Fascinating!

She had no choice but to look.

After all the lectures and scoldings he had given her in the previous timeline, seeing him dejected was a real change.

However, I can’t just leave him like this. He doesn’t look very productive. Soon, there will still be a famine, and I’ll need him to be at his best…

She nodded to herself in thought.

Then, in a soft voice, she said, “Please stand up. If not for you, then do it for me. Ludwig, you are not to blame for what you have just said. There will always be things that go against our expectations. And as you can see, I am safe and sound. Isn’t this enough?”

“But…” He stayed on his knees.

When she saw this, she put her hand under his arm and gently pulled it, which made him look up.

“Unfortunately, we don’t have time to split hairs right now,” she said. “We have to get Citrina out of danger as soon as possible. I’d appreciate it if you’d join me in the carriage and fill me in on what’s going on.”

Ludwig looked at her for a moment, then let out a short sigh. “I thank you, Your Highness, for giving me this chance to make up for my mistakes,” he said, bowing his head again.

“Enough with the mistakes,” Mia said. “Less atoning, more rescuing. Come on, hurry up.”

As Ludwig got into the carriage, he looked around to see who was there. Prince Sion, his servant Keithwood, and Prince Abel were there. These were familiar faces.

The fourth person, on the other hand, said, “Pleased to meet you, Ludwig Hewitt. I’ve heard a lot about you from Princess Mia.”

Monica Buendia gave him a polite smile while wearing her maid’s uniform.

“Me, too, Miss Monica. We really appreciate the help you’ve been giving us with this,” Ludwig said, returning her smile.

After saying hello to the other passengers, his face changed. “Now, excuse me for being so direct, but let’s get down to business. I have it on good authority that Lady Citrina and her servant Barbara have already returned to the Duke’s home.”

As soon as he said that, tension filled the room.

“When you say ‘returned,’ do you mean that they are still there, Ludwig?” asked Abel. “They’re staying at Yellowmoon manor?”

“They got there yesterday,” Ludwig said with a nod.

“A trap, then? It looks like they’re waiting for us,” Abel said with his arms crossed. “I thought for sure they’d try to raise an army out of desperation.”

By taking Citrina back to the Yellowmoon domain with her, Barbara had already limited her own choices. They could either start a civil war in the empire or uproot their whole clan and go live in hiding somewhere else.

“I thought they’d just disappear,” Sion said. “They might be one of the four, but I don’t see how an open revolt could lead to anything but their own deaths right now. What would make them stand up? How many men could they get together without a good reason? It would waste the lives of soldiers. I think they’d be better off hiding somewhere and figuring out what to do next…”

Sion thought about that for a while before falling silent.

The Serpents were scary because they didn’t know who they were. Because they had no shape and were mysterious, they could be anywhere, just out of sight. Fear came from uncertainty. Also frustrating was the fact that they seemed to work mostly as a loose group of individuals who didn’t tend to gather in one place.

Getting rid of one or two of them didn’t change much about the group as a whole. Once the identity of a single Serpent was known, it was no longer a big threat.

In a way, they were like a swarm of locusts. Getting rid of the whole swarm is hard, but a single locust doesn’t pose much of a threat.

“Given that they’re not coming out of the manor,” Sion finally said, “it might be a trap…”

It was a tough situation that made everyone in the carriage frown, including Mia. For her, it was more complicated than that. In a situation like this, she would usually just tell her father that someone tried to kill her. In response, he would definitely call up the army of the empire.

Even the most clever traps couldn’t stop an army from burning down the whole manor. However, if she did that, Duke Yellowmoon’s family would be sentenced to death for their part in setting up the incident. Barbara and the rest of Duke Yellowmoon’s family would all be put to death for their part in setting up the event.

I won’t be able to save Rina.

She was thinking about Bel, who was sitting in the carriage behind them. She had to bring Citrina back safe and sound for the sake of her granddaughter.

Also, if we got the army involved, Duke Yellowmoon would probably raise his own troops.

She knew that if it came to war, her side would win, but that wouldn’t mean a good future. If Duke Yellowmoon died, there would be a lot of chaos in his domain. People would die. The land would be on fire. And the next war would be even harder to win, because the next war would be against the great famine.

In other words, Mia saw this whole thing as just a warm-up battle.

It was important to get as many advantages as possible for the real battle that was coming.

Because of this, she couldn’t pay for a big military campaign. If a fight couldn’t be avoided, it had to be small and over quickly.

The only forces she could move freely with were the Princess Guard and… Dion.

The Princess Guard and Dion?

She asked herself.

Well, I mean, Dion’s pretty much a one-man army anyway.

It makes sense to put him in the same group. While she was saying that Dion was more like a military unit than a person.

Ludwig said, “Don’t worry. If problems come up, I’ll make sure they’re taken care of.” His voice was soft, but there was no doubt in it. “Members of the Chaos Serpents are already being caught by the Princess Guard in the empire.”

This made a lot of people gasp. Everyone in the carriage, with the exception of one person, knew how hard it was to find Serpents hiding among the people.

Everyone wanted to know how it was done, so all eyes turned to Mia, who asked, “Are they now? That’s very reassuring! You did a great job.”

She didn’t ask any more questions and only said a few words of thanks. Still, no one complained about the lack of details because they thought her “let it go” attitude meant she had complete faith in Ludwig’s ability to do the job. They thought they had a simple, unspoken agreement: she told him what she wanted, and he made it happen.

She put her faith in him, and he lived up to it.

So, he didn’t need to explain. Or, as some people then inferred, maybe she didn’t ask because she already knew, and Ludwig was just following her detailed instructions.

The truth, though…

My, it sounds like finding Serpents is pretty easy. That reminds me, wasn’t the Holy Book of the Central Orthodox Church supposed to make them tell the truth? They sound like pushovers, to be honest. Maybe next time I should try reading to them.

…was that Mia didn’t have the faintest idea what was going on.

She didn’t care at all about how hard her subjects worked. And they had no idea how ungrateful she was.

The rest of the people in the carriage came to their own wrong conclusions. To be honest, it was hard to tell if anyone got anything right.

The whole conversation was a long joke that needed a punchline.

But, sad to say, nobody was there to deliver it.