90. break down the wall (1)

Consciousness was clouded.

My head, which was foggy like the fog on the shore of a lake at dawn, was thick as if I forbade the act of thinking. No, literally, Marion was standing on the shore of a foggy lake. Marion by the lake was young. A child whose right half of his body did not even have a scar yet. Blue eyes twinkling, Marion walked to the water’s edge.

The dewy grass brushed against my feet. The dirt approaching with a cold texture felt good on bare feet with no shoes on.

I don’t think I’ve had a dream like this in a while.

Marion thought so even in her dreams. After the accident, her dreams weren’t usually this bright. Feeling like wandering in an endless maze. It was Marion’s dream to stare at obscure dark abstractions or to have childhood nightmares.

‘Still, meeting Maxim… .’

A dream in which Maxim appears from time to time. A dream that reminds us of the time they spent together. Little by little, the place of the nightmare turned into such a dream.

An unexpected fiancé changed a lot. Not just her dreams, but everything. The meaningless time that passed helplessly took on the meaning of waiting. The letters Maxim wrote showed the world, and the gifts they brought whenever they were together soon became a medium that reminded them of him.

that we are the same

Maxim revealed his darkness. What kind of darkness it was, Maxim could only tell in plain language. Marion did not ask what Maxim’s darkness was like. If you ask me what kind of darkness it is, I thought I would tell you. That’s how deep Maxim’s eyes looked at him. But in the end, Marion decided not to listen to Maxim’s circumstances because she was afraid.

Why did he call himself a hypocrite or a terrible person?

If I found out, I thought I wouldn’t be able to look at Maksim so innocently anymore. Also, because Maxim, who showed her all the shadows, wouldn’t treat her the same way he used to.

Unable to move one step further, Marion hovered. Maxim crossed the line between him and Marion several times. I reached out my hand several times and knocked on the wall several times.

I?

Little Marion, who had reached the shore of the lake, squatted down on the water’s edge. The lake is calm like a mirror. When he put his fingers over the eyes looking at him in the lake, a ripple was created.

“Are you going to stay?”

It was Maxim who came and sat next to me. Wearing a black hood, with that thin smile on his face. know. Marion looked at that face and thought that. Maxim always pushed his back.

“What do you mean?”

What came out of Marion’s young mouth was different from her usual words. With the lisp of a child, Marion complained to Maxim who was encouraging her. Maxim laughed. Not the usual bitter-smelling smile, but a bright, less soiled one. Maxim, smiling like that, somehow looked young like a boy, and Marion looked at him curiously.

“I do not care.”

Those words came out of Maxim’s mouth. Marion frowned in displeasure.

“What else does it matter?”

“I mean no matter how you are, I won’t change.”

isn’t it okay

Maxim’s questioning smile was no longer pure.

“It will be fine.”

And the woman’s voice he heard was something he knew. The one who came and sat to his left was the current self, wearing a mask.

“Even if you don’t change, even if you don’t approach me, Maxim won’t change.”

The voice was detached and quiet. Marion looked at herself and stared at herself as she spoke. she wasn’t laughing It was hard to imagine the smiling face of himself wearing a mask.

“I will give it for you. I will see you, sympathize with you, and cherish you. I will always think of you, and if something happens, I might take you to a safe place like this time.”

And like this time, after taking you to a safe place, it will disappear again.

The moment he said that, the lakeside disappeared. The younger self disappeared, as well as Maxim and the masked self.

sense of loss.

Marion was facing the entrance of a dark cave with no end in sight. The light disappeared from Marion’s eyes. The black pupil waved an ominous shadow and beckoned me to come in. Marion shook her head frantically and refused.

I thought that a child who lost his daily life would never feel a sense of loss for the rest of his life. And something that came into that hand again filled the child’s heart. When that something grew inside Marion, filling the void and giving more, she too could see what she had gained.

And when the person who filled my heart is gone.

When he left himself without even knowing whether he was alive or dead.

A terrible sense of loss came over Marion. Like the cave that is now opening its mouth in front of Marion’s eyes, the sense of loss that Marion had not revealed on the outside rotted inside and gradually grew in size.

no.

What do you hate?

I hate losing my mind. I don’t like him getting hurt where I don’t know. I don’t want him to get hurt because of something I don’t know, and I hate him to leave me.

Will you be by my side when I open my eyes?

Do you still want him to stay by your side without saying anything?

I.

The entrance to the deep darkness was getting smaller and smaller. What fills the place is the faint golden remnants left here and there. It was a golden light full of beautiful scribes that closely resembled the color of someone’s eyes.

don’t run away

With the light that seemed to say that, Marion took a step.

—

It was night when Marion opened her eyes again. The clear sky of the autumn sky was casting bright moonlight on the street without filtering. As if the window had been left open for a moment, the cool night air hit my cheek. The guest room in the mansion, which had been Marion’s room for months, was familiar to her.

“… .”

When Marion turned her head to the right, a familiar figure was sitting with her shoulder leaning against the window. A black hood that covers the entire face. Seeing this, Marion’s eyes trembled.

“You woke up.”

The voice that came between them was unmistakably Maxim’s. As Marion tried to get up, Maxim’s hand, which had come close to her, gently stopped her.

“Lie down some more. You’d better rest still. It’s late, so you can sleep. It is deep dawn.”

Marion looked at the profile of Maxim, who had just come closer. I wanted to see the face covered by the hood. Marion’s hand slowly rose and touched the hem of Maxim’s hood.

Marion’s hand tugged at the hood slowly. Maxim did not resist and let Marion take off the hood.

“Maxim.”

He was behind the stripped hood. Her light brown hair, slightly disheveled, stuck to her cheek. The eyes were still looking at Marion with the deep golden light, like topaz or sunset, as Marion remembered.

There were many things I wanted to say. There were many things I wanted to ask. However, nothing came out of Marion’s mouth right away. I was overwhelmed just by looking at it now.

Maxim looked at Marion’s muttering mouth and smiled a little. Marion’s lips, which had been quiet for a long time, uttered small, cowardly words.

“Don’t go anywhere. now.”

A weak force passed over Maxim’s hand. Marion’s hand was holding Maxim’s hand. It was weaker than any force Maxim had ever felt, but it forced him to sit on the edge of the bed. The hand holding her hand was small and weak, but it didn’t tremble like before.

“yes. I will be here.”

couldn’t go back at least for now. Maxim thought that while looking at Marion’s eyes.

The silence as they looked at each other was not awkward. The gaze wasn’t awkward, and it wasn’t burdensome.

“I’m glad you’re safe.”

It was Marion who broke the silence. Maxim didn’t answer and just squeezed Marion’s hand tighter. What weighed down Maxim was the guilt that came from Marion’s words. I had to tell her all the things I hadn’t told her since we first met. Both her and her father.

“What happened?”

“… A lot happened in no man’s land. no, before that. Before I met you.”

Maxim spoke up. Where should I start? I don’t know if Marion will accept this story warmly. Maxim chose and chose his words, looked at Marion and said as if warning.

“The story will be long.”

“I want to hear everything.”

This time Marion’s hand was squeezed tighter. Maxim felt that weak but surprisingly strong and warm warmth. I’ve never had anything like this. On the contrary, Maxim’s hand holding Marion’s hand trembled slightly. Marion’s words gained strength.

“Everything, I want to know.”

Marion, who was looking at Maxim, had an unprecedentedly hardened gaze, perhaps because of a big change of heart while they were apart. Right now, it’s okay if you don’t hand it over.

Maxim hid the object he was holding behind his back.

It seems that what Marion needs the most right now is her own story. Maxim closed his eyes. I made the rising face clearer. Recalling the past has always been painful, but now it is necessary. Even to remind myself of my purpose and to sharpen my blade.

“… It was when I went to the academy.”

The long story of Maxim began. Maxim thought of Theodora. This story, in fact, was the story of her and Maxim.

What kind of existence is she to Maxim now? Could it be the companion he once wanted to give his all to, the one who led him to the path of a knight? Could it be her ex-girlfriend who sometimes showed a cold side and clung to Maxim because she couldn’t forget the past? Is it just the enemy’s daughter? Is it just a woman who regrets guilt?

The story lingered. Marion’s face, listening to the story, is reflected in the straight light of the lamp. How would her face look in her eyes now? Will there be a figure of a man who still misses her, or will it be the figure of a fiancé who calmly tells the story of his ex?

Maxim’s story led to a meeting with Marion.

What did you think of meeting her in the first place? why did it have to be her Maxim’s backstory, including the story that Emile Bordain told Maxim himself, was released that way. He didn’t say what he thought of Marion right now. To be honest, I don’t even know how to feel about it yet.

The story goes uninhabited.

The battle with the Behemoth, Roberto’s betrayal, the kidnapped Christine and now herself. The excuse that I had to meet with the king, put on a hood and come secretly.

After finishing the story, Marion let out a small sigh. It will take some time to sort out the long story. Maxim looked at Marion, who was still in thought.

“Is Christine okay?”

The first words she uttered were unexpected. Maxim, not knowing how to answer, looked around like a mute who had eaten honey, then shook his head.

“I do not know. I’m thinking of saving it though. I believe you will be alive. It doesn’t matter if that’s what you want to believe.”

Maxim’s words were resolute. Just like he saved himself, he must be thinking of saving Christine as well. Maxim did not hide his sincerity.

“We must destroy Beninga, Leon Benning, and recover what we have lost. The seat of a knight, the position of my family… .”

revenge too.

Maxim muttered quietly. Marion’s blue eyes looking at Maxim were amazing. Sometimes it was like looking up at a cloudless sky, and other times it was like facing a lake with no depth. For Maxim, it was the latter now.

“Is that why they called you a hypocrite, Maxim?”

Marion asked. Maxim hesitated and nodded his head.

“Hiding the shadows behind you, I treated you with hypocrisy. I’d rather have told you the truth from the beginning. If only we could have met.”

Of course it couldn’t have been.

Maxim laughed as he said that. Marion smiled in response.

“How are you now?”

“now?”

Upon Maxim’s question, Marion’s expression softened slightly.

“At that time, a child in a similar situation to me. object to be conserved. What do you think of me now?”

What Maxim was deliberately trying to avoid, Marion dug in from the front. words of promise. At a question he had never heard from Marion, Maxim swallowed a small breath. Those eyes were shining, saying that they would not tolerate lies. Maxim broke into a cold sweat and answered.

“uh… , therefore… .”

The word ‘I don’t know’ was not spit out. It felt like it was a huge, rude thing to answer with such words right away.

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No, you have to tell me, Maxime Appart. Now you’ve decided to treat each other without hiding anything.

Maxim barely managed to convince himself to do so, and opened his mouth.

“I do not know.”

In the end, I said it. Maxim let out a sigh of relief inwardly as he saw her expression change from what he thought would be distorted into a smile.

“That’s fortunate.”

Are you happy? Maxim furrowed his eyebrows as if he couldn’t understand.

“I think I just gave the rudest answer I could. If I were you, I would have started with a slap in the cheek.”

“I was thinking of the worst answer, so that’s okay.”

“Worst answer ever?”

“Like a lump of baggage, or something that gets in the way.”

Maxim’s expression hardened.

“I can’t think of you that way. Have you ever thought that you were only a hindrance to me?”

“Well… , maybe… ?”

Maybe. At Maxim’s stern voice scolding Marion, a smile spread across Marion’s face again. Oh, this kind of smile is a pretty woman. Maxim had an inappropriate sentiment.

“By the way, even if you heard that answer, the words I’m about to tell you wouldn’t have changed.”

Marion added playfully. Maxim tilted his head slightly, asking what he meant.

“Maxim, you told me what you thought of me, and I wonder what you think of Maxim?”

oh

Maxim saw that the eyes facing him trembled. Finally, Marion was about to break down the wall he couldn’t break down and face the beyond.

“I like you.”

For the first time, his voice trembled as he summoned courage and conveyed his sincerity.

“I want you to look at me. I hope I can become a person who can really walk forward together, not just a relationship that led to an engagement where words and politics were intertwined. yes. Just put it in one word.”

Marion looked at Maxim. The voice no longer trembled. That heart-throbbing confession turned into a dazzling smile.

“Maxim Appart, I love you.”

For that moment, Marion was shining more than anything else in the world.

“Even though it looks like this… .”

Marion added that, groping her own face, and then she became stiff as if she had become a stone statue.

mask.

I couldn’t feel the mask that always covered the right side of my face. I should have felt a sense of incongruity in the gaze, but I must have forgotten that I was too absorbed in the story.

oh my god. As of now, with this hideous appearance… .

Marion’s face turned pale and white. My head was spinning. At least, when I said this, I wanted to look my best… !

At that time, Maxim’s fingers carefully touched Marion’s face. Marion’s white face suddenly turned bright red.

“No, Maxim… ! now… ! Please don’t look at my face… .”

Marion’s feelings of wanting to hide in a mouse hole out of shame turned completely blank the next moment.

prison.

There was the sound of the air escaping, and before I knew it, Marion was in Maxim’s arms. Maxim smelled like grass. Marion opened her eyes wide, dyed her face bright red, floundered for a moment with her hands in the air, then stopped.

“Can’t you see this?”

“Yes… , yes… .”

Maxim’s playful reply. Marion answered with a trembling voice, as if she had bitten off her tongue. A half-mixed feeling of shame and joy seemed to paralyze the muscles of his tongue.

“I didn’t care at all, but you do.”

“Don’t do that. Because I am really ashamed.”

Marion responded in a tearful voice to Maxim’s teasing remark. Maxim smiled and continued talking.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t answer right away.”

“… I didn’t think I would get an answer right away.”

At Marion’s reply as if she would not lose, Maxim smiled lightly. Marion puffed out her cheeks in displeasure.

“… I will wait until I hear the answer I want.”

“yes. After everything is done.”

Maxim took out the object he had hidden behind his back and placed it on Marion’s hand.

“The one I used originally was broken.”

Marion accepted the mask and smiled.

“You say you don’t care.”

“Who keeps being shy?”

Marion put the mask Maxime had handed over her face. Black color. It was a completely different color from the pure white mask Marion had worn so far, but Marion really liked the color.

“thanks.”

“… What.”

again, start

Marion was facing the world through a completely demolished wall.

what i can do

Marion thought to herself and looked at Maxim. Above her eyes, a new will was swaying.