30. Liquor, knights, and memories (3)

The kiss was brutal.

In the air mixed with the smell of alcohol and Theodora’s incense, Maxim felt that way. Between the soft lips that met, between the tongues of the two people who were tangled and tangled, a breath of excitement rose and disappeared.

“Maxi…”

Theodora’s eyes were dimly lit. Maxim knew very well those sad eyes. It was such a sad, heartbreaking look. Three years ago, when he brought up the word to break up with her, he had such hazy, foggy eyes.

Memories run through Maxim’s mind.

From the memory of the academy three years ago, to the bottom of the dungeon, the hazy fog, and even Count Benning and Baron Borden laughing at their wounds. Those who ate their roots, rotted their stems, and now withered the blooming leaves. He was eager to use Theodora to wield power.

And it snowed. On the snowy training ground of the academy, there was Maxim who informed her of an incomprehensible farewell.

And the oath I made while cutting those demons. An oath that Maxim had made with the feeling of carrying all of his infidelity and jumping into the fire. I will gladly accept the punishment given by Theodora. I will never ask for forgiveness

Maxim looked down at Theodora. He looked down at his wet, glistening lips with clouded eyes.

“More… kiss me.”

That’s why I’m going to push it. I will push away, I will be hated, and I will direct my hatred towards me. At this moment, I will make a choice that will be hated by you.

So, no more.

Maxime grabbed Theodora by the shoulders and pushed her away. Suspicion rises in Theodora’s hazy eyes.

“why…”

“You can’t do this, Theodora.”

The hazy dubiousness materialized and was dotted with various emotions. Doubt, resentment, sadness. And embodied emotions drop tears like clouds drop rain.

“…Maxi, why can’t I?”

In a drunken voice, Theodora said. Her face was red, and her words were twisted and in vain. But those eyes were full of emotion. I was asking with sincerity and sincerity.

“Why did you lend your shoulder to the vice-captain there?”

Theodora asked. The first tears rolled down Theodora’s cheeks. Maxim looked at the flowing tears. Three years ago, there was a time when she cried the same way. It was a winter playground where we said we should part, the wind was not strong and it snowed.

curse? wound? Nothing hurt Maxim more than Theodora’s tears at that time. But Maxim had to endure the pain again. I couldn’t wipe away the tears falling from that pain.

“Why… why did you pamper the vice-captain there? Why can’t I…”

Theodora’s words were becoming incoherent. At first, the words, which should have been simple questions and jealousy, gradually turned into words of condemnation of Maxim.

“He said he was engaged, and that’s why he broke up with me.”

“Theodora.”

Theodora shakes her head in disbelief. That platinum hair, bathed in the faint moonlight and the brass light of the lantern, swayed like a curtain.

“Why… am I the only one who has to be rejected by you like this…”

Oh, Theodora.

Maxim licked his lips at the emotions that surged up in him. The blood suppresses the urge. With a sorrowful expression on his face, he suppressed the desire to hug the woman he loved, to kiss her on the mouth once more and to whisper that he loved her.

Blood flowed from his chewed lips. The smell of blood filled Maxim’s mouth. Theodora’s arms were still wrapped around her neck. Maxim grabbed her wrist to let go of that arm as well. Still, it was a thin, beautiful cuff.

“do not be like this…”

Theodora cried. Maxim hurriedly released Theodora’s arm from the back of her neck. Emotion continues to seep through Theodora’s eyes. The spreading emotions were asking Maxim a lot.

Theodora, resent me.

Maxim remained still, holding Theodora’s wrist. Theodora meets Maxim’s eyes without being able to do this or that. Then, as if he couldn’t stand it any longer, he leaned his head against Maxim’s arms.

“Maxi…why…”

The tears that fell became crying and became sobs. Maxim looked down at Theodora, who began to weep in his arms. Her shoulders were shaking. Maxim pushed Theodora further. Theodora was pushed away by Maxim’s hand like a weakly fluttering paper.

“Just… just, drunk. Me too, you’re drunk You can pretend not to know.”

Theodora’s call was so earnest. It became a dam overflowing with longing for Maxim and other emotions.

“But, do you really have to push me away like this…?”

Certainly, there was no spirit. Even if they come kissing those lips face to face, no one will blame them. However, Maxim was not in a position to excuse himself with alcohol now. Maxim said in a hard voice, grabbing hold of Theodora, who had now lowered her arms.

I wanted to say something soothing. I wanted to comfort you. However, Maxim was controlling his emotions separately from him.

“Theodora, you know.”

Theodora’s eyes trembled when she heard Maxim’s words. With an expression as if how could you say such a thing? Theodora’s cry distorted. The tears that flowed down in one stream became two streams.

“You know what…!”

Pak.

Theodora finally pushed Maxim away. Maxim staggered away from Theodora, who pushed her away.

“I…I don’t know anything…!”

Theodora’s voice was brimming with passion.

“You… you can’t tell me you know.”

A sobbing voice interrupted Theodora’s words. Maxim bit his teeth even harder. Every word of Theodora’s words became a needle and pierced Maxim’s heart. Especially since none of them were wrong.

“I can’t understand… Who was the one who unilaterally notified me of the breakup…”

Pak.

Theodora’s fist hit Maxim’s chest weakly.

“They said he got a fiancé… and that he was engaged to a collateral of my family…”

Pak.

“Did you just think that I could understand it? yes, no But I was forced to accept… Your notice, I didn’t deny it in the first place.”

Pak.

“I still cried and told you not to go.”

Pak.

Once more, Theodora’s fist strikes Maxim in the chest. Maxim’s body was shaking slightly.

“How could you say something like that…”

Pak. Pak.

Maxim could not say anything. Theodora continued to swing her fist at Maxim. It didn’t have any strength, but it was a fist that hurt more than any other fist in the world.

“Theodora, first… sit down.”

Maxim reached out to seat Theodora, but Theodora slammed Maxim’s hand away.

“Do not touch.”

A sobbing sound came from Theodora. Maxim looked down at Theodora’s free hand, biting his teeth.

Yeah, it went according to plan. It didn’t go as planned, full of hypocrisy.

Maxim looked down at his fist and clenched it tightly.

“…really the worst.”

Theodora hung her head and cried. Theodora was wiping away tears with the back of her hand. However, as if he could not control his emotions due to alcohol, he collapsed on the floor. Maxim was frozen in place, unable to do anything.

Theodora wept, then dropped her hands to the ground and spoke softly.

“…get out.”

coo wook,

The hand trembled as it clenched into a fist.

“Get out. Don’t make it more miserable, get out…”

Theodora, who had fallen down, stumbled and stood up again. His handsome face was stained with tears. Her hair was disheveled, and her expression was distorted. resentment remains Only resentment, not hatred or disgust, remained on his face, pouring out heavy emotions on Maxim.

“get out…!”

cried Theodora, sobbing. Maxim turns his frozen feet. Very slowly, Maxim walked with Theodora on his back. Maxim grabbed the doorknob and shook his hand. Feeling like he would cry if he stayed longer, Maxim opened the door.

“You… you really… are such a bad person.”

Such words came from behind Maxim’s back in front of the open door. From Theodora’s words, the cry seemed to have no intention of disappearing.

“I don’t know how it might be to that vice-captain or my fiancee, but you’re a bad person to me.”

Before he could see more of her tears, before he could hear Theodora’s teary voice, Maxim shut the door. Through the closed door, Theodora’s words are heard once more.

“A bad bastard who will never exist again in the real world.”

ah,

Maxim sat down in the cold hallway behind Theodora’s closed door, where the faint moonlight streamed in through the windows. All the emotions I had been holding back, the words I wanted to say, were coming up along with the alcohol. Maxim sighed.

Tears flowed. There was nothing wrong with her words. Maxim was a human breed and a really bad pup to Theodora.

“Sorry.”

An apology he hadn’t made to Theodora flowed from his mouth.

“I’m sorry, Theodora. Sorry.”

Maxim covered his face with both hands. My head was dizzy and I felt foggy. A wound that shouldn’t even heal has been painful.

“Sorry sorry…”

Maxim kept repeating that. But the more he said he was sorry, the more his guilt towards Theodora and his disgust towards his helpless self only grew. Maxim burst into tears. Tears of remorse poured out, which Theodora had not seen before.

“Sorry…”

resent me more If you ask me to punish you, I will accept more.

I clenched my fists until Maxim was crushed. Blood oozes from the fingernails digging into the palm.

—

It was drunkenness.

There was no spirit. The only thing she felt was the fact that she was putting her arm behind Maxim’s neck, like three years ago, and that she kissed him again, like three years ago. I wanted to forget everything. Maxim’s fault, the vice-captain who was sitting next to Maxim, and himself who hated Maxim.

I wanted to forget everything and just be buried in longing and be the same as before. Even for a moment, she wanted to see the man she loved with all her heart.

“Bad baby …”

Theodora spoke to herself like that again.

My head was dizzy from the alcohol, and it hurt. Tears flowed uncontrollably.

I was resentful of Maxim. I hated it, but couldn’t let him go. It is said that I couldn’t keep my mouth shut even though I hadn’t done anything.

Theodora was a girl who did not know what love was the least. The man who revealed all the world she had lived in without knowing was Maxim.

“Bad baby.”

It was Maxim who told me the joy, and it was Maxim who told me the pain.

I wish I hadn’t known anything from the start. If I hadn’t known the joy, I wouldn’t have known the loss.

Theodora got up from her seat and went over to the bed and sat down. Even the bed felt cold.

“Maxim…”

Theodore called the name again. Just the mention of that name is now overwhelming. The sobs that had barely stopped came back. I knew this was the last time and there would be no more chances. Unknowingly, I put my arms around his neck again, knowing that this would be the last kiss.

The two are now too far away.

The time we were apart was as great as the time we shared.

Even when they parted, Theodora could not understand. There were so many things she didn’t know. Even when I asked my fearful father, he only gave Maxim a sarcastic answer with a cold attitude. He said that he wasn’t a good match for him, and that it was better that he made a fiance and left.

At the end of denial and denial and denial, Theodora headed for the cold snowy mountains of Kips. To forget the warmth of Maxim who gave warmth to himself who hated the cold, to forget the snowflakes he saw with Maxim.

Theodora lay buried in bed. The light from the brass lantern flickers.

Staggered and staggered, Theodora slowly closed her eyes.

The last drop of tear that remained fell from the corner of my eye.