Chapter 64 – Selection

 

“…I see…”

 

Facing her sincerity, I could only give out such a pathetic response.

 

This was the first time that someone had ever confessed to me. I didn’t know how I should respond in this kind of situation.

 

“…Since when?”

“…I’ve always liked you since middle school…”

 

Her feelings were heavy.

 

I was so stupid. No way that she would be this kind toward a weirdo like me for no reason. 

 

Every action she made up to this point made a lot more sense.

 

She would often come to me to consult about her problems.

 

Everytime she tried to make a decision, she would ask me about it.

 

She kept telling me to join the tennis club.

 

Whenever I told her that I didn’t want a girlfriend, her expression would turn gloomy.

 

Ever since I involved myself with Arina, the number of times she showed me her concerns about it increased.

 

It all made sense now. She had her reasons for doing it.

 

I hated myself. I treated her way too horribly. What the hell was I doing? I actually ignored someone who desperately tried to keep up with me…

 

Ignorance was truly a sin.

 

And I was the worst piece of s**t.

 

“What’s so good about me anyway? I’m a sh*tty person…”

“That’s not true.”

“…Elaborate?”

“I know everything you did, Sui. I know you’ve been helping people whenever you can. Back in middle school, you used to help carry a pregnant teacher’s luggages… In the school festival back in junior high, you would volunteer to help the committee whenever they didn’t have enough people…”

“I only did that because I had enough spare time, you know? Anyway, Shirona, we’ve been together for years now and you’re someone dear to me, so I know how amazing of a person you are… I’m not good enough for you…”

 

I like Shirona, but not romantically, that was the sad truth of the matter.

 

But even if I liked her that way, I simply wasn’t the right person for her.

 

Not only was I insecure, I was also unable to express my feelings well. I acted like a dumb clown so that people wouldn’t find out about my pathetic self. Saying something like I wanted to be single forever was just an excuse to keep people away from me.

 

Shirona was simply too good for someone like me.

 

“…Still, I fell in love with you, Sui!”

 

The slight crack in her voice broke my heart. This whole thing was painful for me, but she was the one who suffered the most.

 

This was the first time that I’ve ever seen her with tears in her eyes. The first time I’ve ever seen her desperate expression.

 

But I couldn’t do anything to make her smile. I could accept her confession, but that would be disrespectful to her. I didn’t want to answer her sincerity with pity, I cared about her too much to do that to her.

 

“Shirona, I–”

“Wait!”

 

She raised her voice while clutching her chest. I’ve never heard her raise her voice like that before and her action surprised me.

 

“You don’t need to tell me… I know everything…”

 

She covered her face with her hands and turned around.

 

“I know that you love Arina-san… Sui…”

“That’s–”

“It’s obvious, Sui. Whenever you talked to her, your smile seemed so genuine and I could see you enjoying yourself. I noticed it, and I think even Makoto-kun noticed it too. I know that you would deny it if I brought it up to you…”

“…No–”

“That’s why, I’ll give up on you. I’ll never stand in your way again, Sui, so don’t worry.”

 

Shirona looked at me.

 

“Sui, I like you… It took me three years to say it, but I finally said it… Sorry for bothering you… See you!”

 

She covered her mouth with the back of her hand and ran out of the room. Should I follow her? Catch her, grab her shoulder and talk to her properly?

 

“…”

 

But what could I say to her?

 

What could someone like me even do in this situation?

 

I sat down in a chair. My body felt limp. Now I know why Arina brought her flowers here. Without those flowers, this place looked desolate and cold.

 

“…F**k…”

 

*   *   *

 

“Welcome back, Bro~”

“Good morning…”

 

My sister greeted me from the living room and I replied to her. She screamed, ‘Mom! Bro got some screw loose! I’ll be looking for them!’ but I ignored her and went directly to my room.

 

I put my bag down, loosened my tie and dropped my body onto the bed.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

I flailed on my bed like a little kid throwing a tantrum.

 

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”
“Shut up! I’m going to call the police!”

 

My sister bursted into my room and threatened me like that.

 

Then she went back outside, slammed the door violently and walked away.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

“Bro, I’m this close to calling the People’s Liberation Army…”

“Call the SDF instead, please…”

 

She came into the room again.

 

“What happened to you, seriously?”

“Nothing happened…”
“Stop lying, just tell me!”

“Okay, from now on, I’ll ban you from asking. If you ask me one more time, I’ll turn into a real idiot!”

“But why?”

“UUUUOOOOOGGGGHHHH!!””

 

My phone suddenly rang.

 

My sister just sighed at me and went to the living room.

 

I checked my phone to find out that Arina called me for some reason.

 

“Hello? This is the Ugandan Republic’s Embassy.”

{It seems like you’re well enough to tell dumb jokes like this. I feel stupid for worrying about you.}

“Huh? The Great Tyrant Hiwa Arina is worried about me?”

{I’ll remember that, prepare yourself tomorrow.}

“The line you’re calling is busy–”

{Now I’m genuinely pissed…}

“Sorry sorry! It’s rare for you to call me like this, so I got carried away.”

{…So, what happened?}

 

She immediately cut to the main topic.

 

“Before I could reject her… She told me that she’s giving up on me…”

{Eh?}

“Like I said, she told me that she’s giving up on me and immediately walked away… I couldn’t even say anything back to her…”

 

Arina seemed to not expect that development to happen and went silent on the phone for a while.

 

{…I see…}

“Anyway, thank you for worrying about me. I appreciate it.”

{I-It isn’t like I–}

“You don’t need to do that fake tsundere act.”

{Is that so? Well, I guess I’ll leave you alone for now. Talk to me whenever you want to, okay?}

“Mm… Thank you.”

{Bye.}

 

I collapsed into the bed once again and let out a deep sigh. I’m tired…

 

“Today was fun…”

 

Kazawaguchi Kozue, Shirona’s confession and Arina’s phone call.

 

Everything happened so suddenly and my mind was having trouble keeping up with this rapid progression of events. Eventually, my consciousness sank into the darkness as my heart asked me a single question.

 

‘Will everything be alright?’

 

Obviously I didn’t know the answer to that question.

 

…I should probably stop thinking about it.

 

TL: Iyo

ED: Dodo