Chapter 102 – Pure Girl

“Um, I assume you’re the representative of the clubless students?”

“Yes.”

It was someone from the student council who asked me that.

They summoned me to the student council here as the representative of the going-home club to confirm our registration. This happened because we were a special case. Normally, the student council would receive the list of the relay participants through each club’s advisors, but the going-home club had no advisor.

So, in place of the non-existent advisor, they called me instead.

“This is all of them? Where are the reserve members?”

“We don’t have any.”
“What’ll happen if one of you can’t make it?”

“We’re immortals, so we will definitely make it. Besides, you guys said nothing about us having to register reserve members.”

“Um, that’s…”

In the unlikely event that one of us failed to make it, we could just kidnap someone as a substitute, but I doubt that we would have to resort to that.

Truth to be told, we got no one else to act as reserves. I already rejected the rest of the participants and if I were to let another person or two in, it would disrupt the team’s cooperation.

*   *   *

“With that, our entry is finally accepted by the student council.”

The sports festival was just three days away, so we decided that today would be our last day practicing. We would be resting for the next two days to ensure that we stayed in our top condition.

“The hell?! You meant, after all this time, you registered our names just now?!”

Said Pro Gamer Eiji while doing the so-called ‘knife wielder dash motion’. By the way, we weren’t currently running on the court, instead we were sitting in the old staff room. 

“Don’t mind it, just be happy that we get to participate at all. Let’s do our best for the relay, okay?”

“Don’t mess with me! Think of it from my perspective, okay? I’ve been running around like my life depended on it while suffering from FPS withdrawal syndrome only to find out that you never registered our entry in the first place! My efforts almost amounted to nothing!”

“Wouldn’t that help you to cure your FPS addiction, though?”

The dude started to make a reloading gesture in the middle of his sentence. He really needed to see a doctor.

Meanwhile, Arina and Heartbreak Rion were chatting by themselves, completely ignoring the ruckus we made.

Initially, Rion was hostile toward Arina, but they got along as they spent more time together. It seemed like they were currently discussing how to become popular or something, but it was mostly Rion who was talking.

“I’m still scared… What if I bump into someone by accident?…”

“Don’t worry about it, Berserker. Think of yourself as a train and the other people around you as ants. If you bump into them, just make sure that they’re incapacitated.”

“Is that even allowed?”

“I’m just kidding. Anyway, people won’t bump into you. They would be scared of your arm swings and will naturally stay away from you. Imagine if someone like Takazo is hit by your swings, I’ll assure you that they’ll be seeing their grandpas in heaven.”

At that moment, Takazo immediately jumped in by saying, “No, they would be in a wheelchair for the rest of their life, it’s statistically proven.”

“You’re using difficult words again, huh, Skinny Takazo-kun? I’m curious what our chances of winning the relay are.”

Rion started her routine of teasing Takazo. Meanwhile, the dude groaned and rubbed his temple after hearing her words. From his expression, he seemed to be calculating something.

“Ninety two percent. The remaining eight is the possibility of us losing because of injury, tampering by a third party or someone not showing up during the D-day.”

“Amazing! With this, my dream of being popular can finally come true!”

“Well, it’s close to impossible for that to happen. Statistically speaking, trying to gain popularity by winning a race only works in grade school.” (T/N: It’s a stereotype in Japan that the faster you are at running, the more popular you are in grade school.)

“Shut it! I hope you fall over and get your first kiss stolen by the asphalt!”

“You really are the worst devil born in the 21st century…”

Since another fight was about to break out, I quickly told them that it was about time for us to start our practice.

“It’s regrettable, but I’ll remember this humiliation, I’ll make sure to pay you back for this…”

“Uh, Skinny Takazo-kun, how long are you going to stay here? I’m going to change, you know?”

“I’ll leave now since it’s illegal to stay.”

“What a coward. Skinny insect.”

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too much, Rion? At least call him a skinny caterpillar or something.”

“Why are you butting in too, Hiwa Arina? Sui, give me a hand.”

“I can stay instead of him. I’ll even record the whole thing for free.”

“If all the younger generation of Japan acts like you guys, our country’s future looks really grim.”

*   *   *

Next day.

The school ground became more lively than usual as the whole school was excited for the festival.

Since the members of the going-home club didn’t have practice today, I had a lot of free time for the first time in a while. I would study for the entrance exam, but I felt too tired to do so. My whole body felt sore, it totally would hinder me from studying properly. I should go to a public bath or something to heal my sore muscles.

I picked up some tomato juice as it was the perfect time to drink some. I had been holding myself back from drinking it because of my blood pressure, but it should be fine now. The Japanese’s diet consisted of a lot of salty dishes, since the rest of the population didn’t have problems with blood pressure, I should also be fine.

“So, how’s everything going for you?”

Makoto called me out from behind.

“Are you talking about the relay? Don’t worry, we’ll beat your club easily.”

“Really? What about the football and baseball club?”

“They too. I don’t think we’ll lose to them.”

“Don’t say that in front of them, things’ll turn nasty really quickly if you do…”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry. Well, worst case scenario I can just strip in front of them, they’ll run away peacefully after seeing my naked body. Violence won’t solve the problem, nudism will.”

“Please, for the love of God. Don’t.”

I mean, it wasn’t like I wanted to do it either. The side-effect was too big, it would kill my social life instantly.

To clear my mind, I gulped more tomato juice. This drink was amazing. Thinking back, why did the cafeteria in the grade school and middle school give us milk for lunch? Why didn’t they give us tea or tomato juice instead? 

Just as I was about to open up another can, Arina stopped me.

“Stop that. If you drink too much of it, you’ll get sick and it’ll affect our performance later.”

“I know, don’t worry, I won’t drink that much. I’m worried about my blood pressure, you know?”

“Then, put that can away. Anyway, are you free today?”

“I guess, you can say that I’m free?”

“Why are you being so vague?”

“Fine. Yes, I’m free.”

“Alright, then, meet me after school.”

She ended our conversation just like that. Did she have something to tell me about the relay? Or was she doing a special training session and needed my help for it?

I wanted to go back home and rot, but I couldn’t just refuse her, could I? I had no good reason to refuse anyway.

After school, Arina whispered to me that she would be waiting outside before leaving the classroom. I quickly tidied up my stuff and headed toward the school gate.

But when I arrived near the school building’s entrance, there was something troublesome happening.

Arina was being confronted by a guy, probably a third-year, but it seemed like he wasn’t her acquaintance or anything.

“I really love you Hiwa-san, I’m not lying.”

“I understand, but I’m not interested in getting into a relationship.”

“…Is it because you like someone else?”

“I just told you. I’m not interested in getting into a relationship.”

“But, you do have someone in mind, don’t you?”

“That isn’t any of your business. I said it clearly that I won’t go out with you. I have nothing more to say to you.”

I hid behind the shoe box so that he wouldn’t notice me. If I were to come out now, things would go south. I knew about my reputation, a weirdo like me would steal the spotlight the moment I revealed myself and things would get even messier quickly.

So what I should do right now was to wait until their conversation was over.

“What kind of person do you want to go out with, Hiwa-san?”

“Stop it. I don’t want to talk about it with you.”

“I don’t want to stop. Why are you so against it anyway?”

“Stop– Let me go!”

She became more agitated by the seconds. My legs naturally moved toward her direction.

I had to protect her.

But, before I could do anything, a girl rushed forward.

“Know your place, you stupid mob!”

The girl was Heartbreak Rion. Her wavy hair was swinging wildly as she slapped the guy’s hand away from Arina’s arm. I admired her boldness. This girl finally took a step forward to become a real heartbreaker just like the poisonous rose.

At that moment, my eyes met Arina’s. She seemed to be surprised by my presence.

“Ahahahah! I can’t, I can’t! You think you have a chance to go out with Arina? This is too funny, I’m in tears!”
“Shut up! …What’s with you, suddenly showing up out of nowhere?! W-Wait, aren’t you that famous b*tch, Rion?!”

“I’m a pure girl, not a b*tch, but then again, I don’t care what a clueless bean sprout like you say about me.”

I was on her side, but jeez, this girl’s mouth was something else.

“Alright, bean sprout, you should go home. Try to look up some macho guys on the internet and compare their body to your pathetic self. Arina loves guys with that kind of body, there’s no way that she’s interested in someone like you.”

Really? Arina loved macho guys?

The girl in question shook her head left and right when I looked at her though. Rion was lying it seemed.

But thanks to her lie, the guy backed down and left. Victory for Rion.

“Finally he’s gone.”

“Thank you, Rion, you saved me. Sui, if you were there, you should come out quicker.”

“My bad. I thought that if I butted in, I would just add more fuel to the fire.”

“Dummy Sui, dummy Sakaki. Girls love being saved by a prince on a white horse! You shoulda tried to save her! Forget about the consequences!”

“The problem is, I’m the tomato prince, not a prince on a white horse. Though, as expected of Rion-sama, you handled that like a pro.”

‘You’re welcome!’ She said that while puffing her chest.

“Anyway, a macho black guy is the best!”

“No one asked!”

After that Rion started her speech about muscles. I immediately shut my ears. Who needed that useless information anyway? Not me.

I asked Arina why she called me over, but she said that she would tell me later. It seemed like she didn’t want to talk about it because Rion was still here.

We walked together before I had to part ways with them midway. We had to listen to Rion’s muscle talk all the way until I left the group. She even told me to work out a lot for some reason. Of course, she didn’t spare Arina from her preaching as she was slapping the poor girl’s hips around.

Arina made a cute yet seductive voice when Rion did that, but I pretended to not hear it.

*   *   *

When I got home, something made me scream on top of my lungs.

“There is a JK heereee!!”
“Too loud! I should take you to the mental wards!”

She gave me that cold remark. What did I do wrong? I always praised her uniform at any chance I got. I felt sad.

However, her actions betrayed her words as she had spent more time in her uniform at home these days. What a pushover. I hoped that the bearers of the XY chromosomes wouldn’t get too heated near her. If they did, well, let’s say that I was ready to trade my life away to make sure that they knew their places.

After dinner and a bath, I was free to rot inside the living room like usual. Ugin was engrossed in her phone like your typical zoomer. Look at this, mankind. Humanity had reached the Day of Judgment. The era of humanity being controlled by machines.

What we should fear the most is the growth of machine translation.

If there was something that divided the world into countless parts, it wasn’t borders, but language. Nowadays, the machines had been trying to break down the language barrier. At first glance, this seemed to be a wonderful thing. If machine translation was developed even further, it was possible that our words would be automatically translated into other languages and we would be able to communicate with each other with zero delay. This would be the thing that could unify the world.

But remember this, perfect translation was impossible. Nuances couldn’t be translated properly by machines when even humans still had difficulty in doing so. Translators would arbitrarily leave their own take on the matter on their translation results. Now, what if the machines were to take advantage of that fact?

Imagine if a malicious A.I existed. What would they do to sow discord in human’s society? The easiest way would be to make malicious translations.

Since humanity was overly reliant on machine translations at that point, they wouldn’t notice this.

“Bro, your phone!”

That brought me back to reality.

If Ugin didn’t call me, maybe I would be stranded in another world. How horrible.

Right, Arina said that she was going to give me a call.

The phone screen displayed Hiwa Arina’s name and it was vibrating cheerfully as if it was anticipating this specific call.

Little guy, I swear, I’ll smash you to pieces if you dare to repeat this kind of behavior again.

TL: Iyo

ED: Dodo