16 – Emotion walk (2)

Song Soo-yeon knew it herself.

He only grew up with his body, but his social skills were at the bottom.

Not only social skills, but many things were still in their infancy. There were many things I didn’t know.

What a normal person would learn naturally, she couldn’t learn properly.

For example….. friends.

‘We’re just friends.’ Song Soo-yeon did not know the friend she had when she said that.

Of course, I know the word itself. But what kind of feelings go between friends, how they act for each other.

Also, I didn’t know the line between being friends and being strangers.

So when he asked to be friends, she was still confused.

After finishing the conversation, the man who was about to leave was eventually caught by Song Soo-yeon.

“…but what does it mean to be friends?”

she asked frankly. For now, I felt like I had to be clear about what he was talking about. It’s embarrassing to ask such a question, but now is not the time to argue.

It had to be like this. It was a tense and worrying moment, like signing a contract for the first time in my life.

I become meticulous in case I get scammed in the part I didn’t check for nothing.

He listened to his question and sat back down.

“…just to keep it as it is.”

“…is this the way it is…?”

“Oh, it’s not just like this…um…”

He stroked his chin, as if pondering for a moment. Song Soo-yeon waited patiently.

“We’ll become closer than we are now, but we’re not going to cross a certain line…. The basic feeling is as it is now.”

“……”

Even then, she couldn’t understand.

…but I didn’t want to ask more. He also said he had no friends. From the look on his face, he seemed as ignorant as he was. I didn’t want to pressure someone like that.

And, to be honest… I liked the echo of the words ‘we will become closer’.

She also wanted to get to know him better.

However, in addition to this, there is another clause that says, “We will not do things that each other does not like.”

In fact, she was afraid even without realizing it.

he likes himself So you must have done everything you’ve done so far.

It was the same with Song Soo-yeon. There has never been anyone I’ve loved more than him.

Because, other than Mr.

It was the first time I had such a positive feeling.

The love he gave her on the rooftop, at the end of her life, still warmed her heart.

So, how grateful I felt, how much he improved, in fact, it was difficult for myself to gauge the depth.

There is no comparison group.

As much as she didn’t know the depth of affection, she didn’t know how she would change either.

If there are a couple of other reasons why he’s good, it’s that he’s shown a disgusting look that makes him uncomfortable, or that he’s never ventured into physical contact.

If in the future he tried to do the same thing as other men, how would he feel?

……Wouldn’t it feel disgusting, just like it did to other men?

Song Soo-yeon did not want to feel such disgust from the man.

I didn’t want to let him go. It’s weak, but I definitely felt that way.

If it was possible to get closer with this feeling, if it was possible to get closer without being uncomfortable with each other, there was nothing better for her.

Even if words can’t express it, this was her sincerity.

She finally nodded.

****

Song Soo-yeon followed Jeong-gyeom to his house.

She believed in him, but she couldn’t help being nervous.

As much as I trusted him, I knew that if I was betrayed, the shock would be multiplied.

Of course, it was reassuring to see his petite face. I didn’t think I would hit myself with a face like that.

Even so, she seemed to be hesitating without realizing it, and Jeong-gyeom said in a complicated tone.

“……I need help, but I can give it to you. If it bothers you that much, go back to that house. I won’t catch you.”

Home. At that thought, Song Soo-yeon’s mind flashed. I didn’t want to go back to the worst way in a situation where another way came up.

“It’s not like that.”

Song Soo-yeon mustered up her courage. And then stick close behind him.

Soon the two arrived at a shabby building. Like Song Soo-yeon’s house, it was a four-story building.

Jeong-gyeom headed to the second floor without hesitation and opened a door.

– Tick.

He turned on the light as he entered the room, and the studio became bright.

“…….”

Song Soo-yeon still wondered if he was wealthy. She couldn’t understand spending money for others like that.

I didn’t know that trusting people would be so difficult.

After checking his lodgings, I could believe he wasn’t very wealthy.

There was nothing except necessities.

It seemed like a very short life.

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Do you live your life like this and help others?

It is only by looking at the room, but it seems that he can see his attitude in life, and Song Soo-yeon’s vigilance is lowered. I know once again that he is a good person.

“Come in.”

Jeong-gyeom took off his shoes and went inside.

Song Soo-yeon also took off the slippers she had borrowed from the store and went inside.

It was a clean, neat room.

It was a far cry from her messy house. Now, for the first time, she realizes that a house can be this clean.

“Sit down. I’ll bring you water. Let’s talk for a while.”

As Song Soo-yeon awkwardly sat down on the floor, he approached with a glass of water.

After handing her two glasses of water, he sat across from her, smoking a small table.

For some reason, Song Soo-yeon could not look at him directly.

It has been like this ever since I was saved by him.

I want to look, but I can’t.

Jeong-gyeom asked her who was restless.

“…You said you were collecting deposits in the first place, right?”

“…….yes.”

“How much?”

“…..Five million won.”

Thinking of the money that has now disappeared, Song Soo-yeon answered with a mixed heart.

“Well. Can you get a room with that money these days?”

“…The cheapest room is available.”

He nodded slowly. I felt sorry for myself, but I couldn’t express it in words.

“…..How did you save money in the first place?”

“It’s like a flyer… while working part-time every day.”

“Well. Where did you not settle down?”

“…High school students need parental consent to write an employment contract.”

“ah.”

Unintentionally, the pain stabbed again, and silence came for a while.

Frankly, she didn’t know why he was asking these questions. Normally, he would have responded bluntly and attacked, but it was too much for her, who stiffened after entering his room.

As a result, I was only able to reflect on my desperate situation.

No matter how much he shared his warmth, the reality did not change.

Jung-gyeom drank a glass of water and said.

“Then, I will live here until I collect the deposit.”

“……yes?”

Song Soo-yeon’s head went blank. I doubt if I heard it right.

“Until…mom…?”

“There’s no point in bringing him in if he’s only going to let you sleep for a day.”

That was not wrong. But… that doesn’t mean I thought this would come out.

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Does that mean you don’t have to go home? Can I really get away from those parents now?

Is he pulling himself out of one hell?

Her fists clenched tightly. Also, that warmth comes flooding in.

I don’t know why I feel like crying again. She tightly closed her lips.

The warmth did not end there.

“And I work part-time at my shop. Let money be just hourly wage multiplied by time. Because I can’t write an employment contract.”

“…Ah…Mister…”

Song Soo-yeon’s eyes began to tremble. I can’t even look at him anymore.

“I need help too. There are so many things I can’t do because I’m alone… In fact, people don’t come often.”

“……”

Song Soo-yeon holds her breath and inhales repeatedly, swallowing tears. I didn’t want to cry awkwardly here again.

Really, I am still amazed. I never imagined that human warmth would be so warm.

I don’t even know how to express this overflowing heart and gratitude.

In the end, she did what she had always done.

“……Ah…Mr. I just want to live with a high school girl..”

However, the voice betrays her. The trembling and crying voice conveys that he is not serious.

As if he had noticed, he smiled lightly and pushed Song Soo-yeon’s head lightly.

“…Ugh, really.”

“…Because I’m a pervert…I won’t forget…that’s…”

“Why are you crying again? That’s not what I want.”

Song Soo-yeon finally wiped away the tears she couldn’t stop with her fingers.

‘what you want’. Yes, she knew exactly what he wanted.

He mumbled for a while, then whispered in a very low voice.

“…Thank you, mister.”

A bright smile hung on his face, as before.

“……”

Song Soo-yeon didn’t know how to explain the emotions rising from that smile.

It was the first feeling. My heart was beating faster and faster. I wanted to keep this scene in my head for the rest of my life. I couldn’t take my eyes off it.

But that happiness is fleeting.

he gets up

“Well, the day has been busy. Rest now.”

He said to Song Soo-yeon, who was absent-minded.

He got up from his seat, grabbing his coat.

“……?”

Leaving the puzzled Song Su-yeon behind, Jeong-gyeom started putting on his shoes.

“…uh…where are you going?”

“….Well?”

“……?”

They exchanged puzzled glances with each other.

After looking at it for a while, Jeong-gyeom asks first.

“…Do you have anything more to say?”

“….no?”

“Then I have to go.”

“…are you going?”

Then there is another strange silence.

As time passed, surprise settled on Jeong-gyeom’s face.

“What, do you want to sleep together?”

“yes?!”

Song Soo-yeon screamed.

I didn’t mean that, it wasn’t that I wanted to sleep with him, I was just embarrassed to go somewhere after he was out of the house.

Where the hell is the landlord who vacates my house? It wouldn’t be a day or two.

As Song Soo-yeon had already promised to live with him in the future, she couldn’t help but be surprised at this reversal.

“No, not that, where to sleep…”

“I have to sleep in the store. I’m afraid of men You won’t be able to sleep if I’m with you.”

“…So…so…you’re going to vacate the house…?”

“From my experience, I slept better when my mind was comfortable than when my body was comfortable. I think I won’t be able to sleep because I’m uncomfortable at the thought of going back home.”

“……..”

Song Soo-yeon could not stand the words that began to form in her heart. why would he even do this?

How am I supposed to pay for all this? Why are people so warm?

She, who had never been favored by others, could not come to her senses when she was presented with everything at once.

Why is he so mature when he is actually only 3 years older?

I get a little angry. Why doesn’t he care about himself? Aren’t you supposed to take care of yourself?

Again, she didn’t want him to know how she felt. Again, she pulls out a familiar card.

“…Mister…you’re really a coward…”

That was all she knew how to communicate.

“……I’m trying to do something good, but I’m talking about hogu again.”

“…if it’s not Hogu, what is it that spreads everything to strangers…”

He rolls his eyes as if thinking for a moment. Then he said with a smile.

“You meant to be friends. Why are you a stranger?”

“……..”

Song Soo-yeon was speechless again.

I couldn’t say anything more bad about it.

Jeong-gyeom, as if having said all he had to say, waved his hand and lightly greeted them, then held the door open without regret.

“good night.”

He said.

Song Soo-yeon tried to answer, but now her throat was choked and no words came out.

Meanwhile, he closed the door and left.

Song Soo-yeon could not get out of her seat for a long time.

*****

After washing, Song Soo-yeon sat down on the bed.

I don’t know how long it’s been since I felt this peace.

I forcibly tried to find something to worry about, but nothing came out.

away from parents There’s no way the two addicts will be able to find themselves now. You don’t know which school you go to, and you don’t even know what school you’re going to go to.

School bullying has also disappeared. Thanks to the uncle who shouted at the ‘Shake’, a hero was dispatched to the school.

Money, too, can be earned now. Even this was possible because the uncle was considerate.

And to such a warm home.

It’s only been about a month since I met Mr.

All of her worries were resolved. thanks to his help.

-Thudug…thuduk…

She suddenly realized that she was crying without realizing it.

It wasn’t that the emotions were intense, but the tears that started flowing didn’t know how to stop.

I still couldn’t believe that all the pain and suffering had gone away so easily.

One thing was for sure, when I closed my eyes and concentrated, I felt a great warmth in my chest.

………I was not lonely anymore.

I learned human warmth.

In a goddamn world, he found hope, his hero.

It was comfortable. It was unbelievably happy.

The power drained from her body.

Song Soo-yeon naturally lay down on the bed.

“……ah.”

A familiar scent rises from the futon.

It was his scent that he smelled when he was on his back.

With no one watching, Song Soo-yeon slowly wrapped the blanket around her body.

The more I do, the more I feel like he’s by my side, the more I feel like my heart is full.

what is the name of this heart She didn’t know that she had just taken the first steps of her emotions.

……It didn’t matter. Anyway, I promised him that I would never change.