14 – Fall Accident (4)

-Jiik…Jiik…

Shoes drag on the floor. It was something I wouldn’t normally do for fear of puncturing my old shoes, but I didn’t care anymore.

Song Soo-yeon was staggering and moving as her feet led her.

My drowsy head couldn’t think of a destination, but it was as if my legs had decided on a direction.

I didn’t think of going against it.

She had lost all strength to resist.

……It was so hard now. exhausted

I didn’t even feel the pain anymore. It wasn’t even painful. I don’t feel anything.

I just noticed one thing.

Her cursed world hasn’t and won’t change.

I should have known that my life was over years ago, but I was stupid and realized it too late.

How do you bring a dead life back to life? that was impossible

God had cursed her.

Some say they experience miracles and believe in the existence of God, but Song Soo-yeon is the opposite.

Having tasted despair, I came to believe in the existence of God. It was clear that he was persistently following Song Soo-yeon and giving her pain.

Thinking I’m cursed makes everything clearer.

It’s understandable that parents are like that.

Because of her looks, it’s understandable that she couldn’t socialize with other people.

The bullying and the sexual harassment in the meantime.

Even the reason why the hero abandoned himself was understandable.

No matter how hard he tried, it was clear that this reality that eventually returned to its original state was all caused by a curse.

Song Soo-yeon still followed where the bridge led. It was like going back on a familiar road.

Well, it wasn’t important.

In fact, she knew too. Being an adult doesn’t change anything.

Getting out of school and home doesn’t mean the world suddenly brightens.

It’s not even that the world treats her differently.

Women who will still come will be jealous and harass her, and men will recite dirty thoughts in their heads. I don’t know who might put it into action.

When you become an adult, rather, the defense of being a minor disappears and it can become even more extreme.

Knowing all of this, Song Soo-yeon pretended not to know.

It’s harder when you think about it.

When I think about the fact that there is no answer to the future, I don’t think I can hold on.

But now I couldn’t run away any longer.

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Dark thoughts overtook her, unable to resist.

Losing money wasn’t the problem.

The point was that nothing would change even if I tried desperately.

If there was even a destructive ability.

……Then you would have shown your hatred for this world. That was really, really sad.

Her legs were climbing the stairs of a certain building before she knew it. Still, no doubts arose.

– Crisp!

Even the shoes are torn and peeled off. Wearing them carelessly for just a few seconds quickly ruined them.

Song Soo-yeon held onto the railing and supported herself when she almost fell.

Then he looked at his bare left foot.

….Now I wasn’t even surprised. just got it

Shoes are the same as hers.

Like a runner crossing the finish line of a marathon, the moment you cross a certain point, you collapse all at once.

I can’t get up and run again.

Leaving her shoes alone, she continued up the stairs.

It’s a five-story building, so it didn’t take long to get to the roof.

Turn the rooftop doorknob.

-Clap, clap, puck!

The locked doorknob broke after turning it several times. The door creaked open, and the bright rooftop greeted her. with the cool night air.

okay. look at this There is a God, and he wanted himself dead.

everything fits tightly Even the roof can be opened so easily.

…..Of course, it was an old building. When I reached the rooftop, I knew where this building was.

This was the building where her house was located. My parents were so incompetent that I could only live in a cheap building like this.

Again, it’s not that important.

Slowly, step by step, she approaches the edge of the rooftop.

very slowly

And every time she walks like that, her head becomes clear as if she is finally coming back to life. My heart ached, which I had never felt before, and my legs gradually trembled.

Still, she didn’t stop. Even when her hand touched the cold railing, she did not hesitate.

Throwing off the remaining shoes, she climbed over the railing step by step.

I didn’t want to look down.

Soon, she was standing on her own two legs at the edge of the roof, holding onto the railing behind her.

It was cold.

The cold air kept bothering her. The familiar coldness was more painful today.

If you let go of your hand and walk forward with just one step, you will be able to end the pain.

You will be able to leave this hateful world.

“….haha….”

So, she calmed down. Block out other emotions.

….okay. It was a world without anything good.

Not once have I ever been happy.

“……Haa……huh……”

Not once have I ever truly laughed.

“…………..after.”

Not once, warmth…

“……”

……..Warmth is……

…….Song Su-yeon simply closed her eyes.

The strength in his hands gradually began to loosen. and….

“You will regret it.”

At that moment, a goose-like voice rang in the back of my neck.

“……!”

Surprised by the sound, Song Soo-yeon clung to the railing again. His legs were loosened and his body staggered. His head was tilted forward, and he also looked at the floor by mistake.

A dizzying terror found her.

It didn’t show.

Soon after, she somehow regained her stable posture, and she looked in the direction of the sound, breaking out in a cold sweat.

A man was standing

A man who melts into the darkness so well. The man I just remembered.

He approached her step by step. There seemed to be no hesitation.

“…..Do not come.”

She said. It was a sound of fear. She was still afraid of men.

Soon he stopped walking, and the moonlight fell, revealing a familiar face.

As expected, it was the uncle of the store.

After Song Soo-yeon calmed down her surprised heart, she burst into laughter.

“…Ah, that’s an old man.”

He was in a different mood than usual. He was looking at her with an extremely serious expression.

Although the situation itself was serious, it was hard to believe that he remained so calm.

I wanted to be someone else.

But he spoke in that familiar voice as if to prove himself.

“………You’ll regret it.”

“……”

Unlike before, he doesn’t even use honorifics.

I was dumbfounded, but it seemed as if his words had pierced a small hole in my emotional dam.

“…I don’t know how I came here…”

“……”

“…If you’re going to talk nonsense, get out of here, damn it.”

She pretended to be calm again and stood upright on the railing. Take the same posture as before. I didn’t even look at him anymore.

“…I’m going to stop now.”

She said. I didn’t know that the words coming out of my own mouth would feel so cold.

“…..I have no regrets.”

And as if trying to convince him, Song Soo-yeon was even spitting out the story she had hidden from him.

It’s the last time anyway, so it wouldn’t be bad to tell your story somewhere.

“…….The school kids are shit, the teachers are shit, the heroes are shit, and the parents are shit too. The people you meet in the future will be just as fucked up.”

“……”

“You don’t know, uncle? I feel like this. Feeling so damn alone. I feel like I am not of this world.”

“……know.”

“…I know, fuck.”

Song Soo-yeon ignores his words. And I look down at the floor I couldn’t see properly before.

It was to get used to this height. I couldn’t get used to it so easily.

Being preoccupied there, Song Soo-yeon was also unaware of the man on the railing.

I was surprised by his closeness, but I didn’t make an impulsive move because I didn’t try to force myself.

With a certain distance apart, he looked down at the floor with Song Soo-yeon.

“……I am an orphan. As I said, I have no friends.”

he said quietly

“……”

“…Loneliness…I know it well.”

“…If that’s the case, then my heart won’t understand.”

“…….I understand.”

The fact that he, too, had wanted to die of loneliness, made Song Soo-yeon’s feelings turbulent.

“…Then, can’t we just turn it off?”

“…I don’t think that will work.”

“why? Ha, because you like me?”

“….no.”

He slowly turned his head.

And with straight eyes, he said as if looking into Song Soo-yeon.

“…because you’re asking for help.”

Her pupils caused an earthquake.

The old man was speaking clearly as if he had heard his thoughts.

As if he, too, had the ability to read minds.

Song Soo-yeon muttered, ignoring the ripples she felt in her heart.

“……dog sound…”

She takes in a big breath. My heartbeat was getting louder.

“…What do you know, Mr. I want to die. dying-“

“-If I was going to die, I wouldn’t have picked a building like this.”

He turns to Song Soo-yeon. Then he cautiously took one step closer.

He pointed to the floor with his head.

“…I won’t die here. Unless it falls on your head. If it were you, only the lower half would be paralyzed.”

Song Soo-yeon opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

he goes on to say

“Stop complaining.”

She had to doubt her ears. I couldn’t even laugh out loud.

I was on the verge of tears. It’s so hard, but he says it’s a complaint.

“……Complaining?”

“Because it’s hard… you’re shouting out for me to know. You want your parents to regret it. You want the kids at school to be afraid.”

Your lower lip starts to tremble. It seemed that he was speaking instead of her sincerity, which he did not even know.

I couldn’t even say no.

“It’s just that painful. You don’t want to die. Because I want to live… because I want to live like a human being, that’s what I’ve been working on all along.”

It seemed that he kept holding the hammer and trying to break her armor. The mask of her pretending to be strong and calm even in the face of death is broken.

Is there anyone who knows exactly how they feel?

“Then stop complaining and come down. Why do you keep focusing on people you hate? Why do you throw yourself in to show them something?”

Tears flowed from Song Soo-yeon’s eyes. At the same time, laughter erupts from his mouth.

She said, laughing as if mocking herself.

“…I only know them.”

“…….”

“I want to focus on someone else too, mister…”

The laughter grew more intense.

“Do you think I want to be involved with trash bastards?”

“……..”

“But I only know them, so what can I do…? They’re the only ones out there, so the only thing that comes to mind is revenge. I only know how to do it, so how are you supposed to do it?”

“……..”

“You want me to tell you? What do you mean…?”

“Stop it and move on.”

“Tell me what to do!!”

“You don’t want to die. Come over.”

She put her hand on the railing and wiped away her tears. Calm down your raging emotions.

“okay. That’s right, I don’t want to die. But… I don’t even want to live. I don’t have the confidence to live in a world like this any longer.”

“……”

“If the end had been decided, I would have endured. Yeah? But… there is no end..”

“……”

“Uhhhh!”

As if screaming, she cried out for a moment. I couldn’t stand crying any longer.

“How much more does it have to hurt…! I mean, I don’t know…!”

“……..”

“I just wanted to live a normal life… but I can’t see any hope…”

Song Soo-yeon let go of the railing and was covering her face with both hands.

I heard him move again.

“Don’t come…”

Song Soo-yeon whispered. he didn’t stop

“This is stupid.”

“Uhhhh”

“It’s because this is still your world. When you leave your family, when you leave school, you realize how big the world is.”

“…because you shouldn’t come…”

“It’s just been bad luck.”

“…Ugh…”

“Even the pain will pass someday. Trust me. I added more… not less.”

Something wrapped around her as she shook her shoulders and cried.

He had come behind her before he knew it and wrapped his coat around her.

The two confront each other with a railing in between.

The cold wind started to block the coat.

A warm feeling is felt.

“…People couldn’t live alone.”

“Uhhhh…”

“But looking at you, it seems like everyone is scared and trying to cut them all off.”

“Huh…..”

“Of course, there must have been trashy people among them. Is not it?”

Song Soo-yeon listened to him while crying and nodded her head slightly. I also wanted someone to know about this.

As much as I sometimes heard people’s inner thoughts, there was no one as accurate as her in identifying garbage.

“Was it hard?”

She nodded again. Tears flowed endlessly.

“…But there must have been good people too. Since I cut out all those people… Maybe I couldn’t see any hope. You will find someone to be the sun for you too.”

He reached over the railing and grabbed Song Soo-yeon’s shoulder.

She should have been surprised by the warm feeling flowing through her hands rather than the warmth of her coat.

Good people.

Maybe he’s already found the good guy he’s talking about.

His heart was never evil.

If only I could hear it now. If you can hear it clearly now.

If I could rely on him, if the ability was activated at will just once.

She was infinitely anxious as she had to hold the rope.

“……..”

But in the end, the heartache was not heard. The ability was not something she could activate at will.

So, Song Soo-yeon did not intend to give up. Squeezing out the last of her strength, she turned her head.

I look at the face of the man who is holding me.

I hoped I could figure something out with my face.

“……ah.”

And saw.

Contrary to his blunt approach, tears welled up in his eyes.

How pitiful would he have been if he had looked like that? How sincere is this?

“Let’s find someone who can give us hope together. I will help you.”

He said.

My heart was beating loudly. The warmth he gave me seemed to spread all over my body.

Tears flowed again.

It was the first time I had felt these emotions in person. It was the first time someone was on his side.

“Huh…! Whoops…! black!”

She couldn’t look straight at him anymore. I couldn’t breathe properly.

“Let’s try one more time. got it?”

“…..sigh…sigh…”

“….Understand?”

“…….yes…”

She just weakly nodded.

“Can you get out of the railing?”

Song Soo-yeon shook her head. The leg is already loose. I cried a lot and had no energy.

“Will you put your hand under your arm for a second?”

She nodded again.

As soon as permission was given, the uncle’s hand dug into her armpit.

Then he lifts her lightly, as if lifting a feather.

Soon, after rescuing Song Soo-yeon from outside the railing, he sat her on the roof.

As if collapsing, Song Soo-yeon sat down on the floor.

In fact, as he said, it was too scary. I didn’t want to die so much. The vivid fear of death still haunted her.

Her head was dragged as she was just crying even as she sat there.

Her head is buried in his arms.

Song Soo-yeon did not feel a sense of rejection even when the man touched her for the first time.

….Rather, the warmth melted her.

To the point where my heart was squeezed without my knowledge and my breath was spitting out.

she said in his arms.

“I was so tired… Mister…”

Her voice no longer had the sharpness it had before. The weak child inside was crying and talking like a taunt.

He patted her on the back.

In Song Soo-yeon’s melted heart, that touch penetrated so deeply.

“…..I tried very hard to buy it, but everyone hurt me so much…Huh…”

“….I see.”

“…She cursed at me for being a whore, hit me, took it lightly, took it away… No matter how hard I worked, no one recognized me…”

“Let me know…Now. stop crying It’s okay now.”

he says.

“….let’s go eat.”

Also, Song Soo-yeon burst into tears. Even the suppressed tears.

.

.

.

‘It’s because I’ve never met a true hero.’

he once said

Song Soo-yeon sat on his back and chewed on the words while calming her tears.

She could now understand what he was trying to convey.

If you see it in front of your eyes, you cannot know it unless you know it.

It is not a hero to save a villain.

Stopping bullying at school is not a hero.

“……..”

Her jewel-like eyes caught him.

Then, she hugged him tighter.

…….Song Soo-yeon found her own hero.