Ch. 93: Surprise Critical Hit From Wife

“Haaa, surprisingly hard to get out…”

After being released from Nadeshiko-san’s hellish tea time, I was trudging up the stairs of Kisaragi house.

To be honest, my face ws still extremely hot.
The reason was obvious. I shouted in front of Nadeshiko-san that my first love was Yuika, that I would propose her to be my wife someday, and that I would make her happy forever in a house with a view of the ocean.

“Ahhhh, why did I do that…”

I rubbed my forehead against the hallway wall and screamed in agony.
It was shameful, if I had a hole, I’d go in it. I wanted to dig a hole in Iori’s room.

“…He said he’s going on a school trip tomorrow, so I should be able to fill in the gaps by the time he gets back, right?”

I think he would scream, “Souta Nii-chan, give me a break!”, I continue to mumble, and sighed deeply.

Yuika and I were currently in a war.
I want to hide the fact that Aoi has become my sister-in-law, and Yuika wanted me to confess to hiding it.
The goals of both parties have clashed, and for the past few days, we have been fighting without blood or tears.

Up until yesterday, I was able to somehow withstand the onslaught of the kunka and tickles.
But the current situation was not good.

To tell the truth, I was embarrassed to death to look at Yuika’s face.
I don’t think I could look her straight in the eye. If I had to, I would have twisted my body 180 degrees and talked to the wall.

Moreover.
Yuika doesn’t know that I’m in this state.

Who would have thought that her childhood friend had just asked her mother for her daughter a few minutes ago?

Yuika would probably accuse me of trying to be innocent again today.
If she were to dress up as a young wife, I would be sunk in one blow.

“Tsk, get a grip, me! It’s for the sake of Yuika, not anyone else, that I’m keeping this Aoi thing from her.”

I whispered to myself thirstily and slapped my cheek.
If she found out that I’ve made Aoi my sister-in-law, she would be lonely because she would know another change in the outside world. That was why I was hiding it from her.

“Good luck, me. It’s for the sake of Yuika—my future wife that I have to be strong.”

I mumbled this to myself.

“…nuuuuuuu.”

I was so embarrassed.
I held my reddened face and scratched the door of Iori’s room pointlessly. Ah, it got a little scratch. I’m sorry, Iori.

“…Just calm down. Nothingness. I’m going to get through today with nothingness in my heart. Yes, let’s count the prime numbers.”

Two, three, five, seven, twelve… Ah, no, I made a mistake. 12 is divisible. It was not a prime number.
Thinking about it, I stood in front of Yuika’s room and knocked.

“Yu-Yuika. I’m here!”
“Hiya!?”

…Hiya?
It sounded she was in a strange hurry.

“Y-You’re here already? You’re e-e-early, Souta!”
“No, it’s not early…I’ve been talking to your mother, Nadeshiko-san so it was a bit later than usual.”
“M-Maybe so, but ……!

There was something wrong with her.

But this could be an opportunity for me to reverse my situation.
If she was not in a position to take advantage of this, I could take the initiative and stop today’s attack.

“I’m coming in for now.”
“Eh!? Wait a minute! Cooling off period, I need a cooling-off period!
“I don’t understand. Sorry!”

I hope she isn’t changing her clothes? I thought but now was not the time.
I tightened my lips like a warrior and rushed into the room.

“Nuh-uh!?”
“Au…”

As soon as we were face to face, we both went rigid.
As it turned out, Yuika was in the middle of changing her clothes.
However, she had already finished changing the sensitive parts.

Her underwear was in place, and her shirt was buttoned up properly.
The only thing was that she hadn’t finished braiding her hair.

But for me, the outfit itself was a corkscrew punch.

She was wearing a long ankle-length skirt, a neat women’s white shirt, a cherry blossom-colored cardigan over her shoulders, and her hair was still in a cute braided bun.

Yes, it was a young wife style.
My future wife was now in the form of a young wife.

C-Cute! Isn’t this too cute!? I’ll reach an imaginary number, not zero, and I’ll be reborn as an undead!?

I couldn’t help but scream in my brain, and then my true feelings spilled out.

“…Oh god, you’re so cute!”
“—!”

The shoulders of her cardigan jerked, and Yuika’s face turned red.
Her mouth quirked up and she mumbled in a mosquito-like voice.

“T-Thank you…very much.”
“…!”

W-What was with all the honorifics?
She was even cuter with that!

I jerked awkwardly, and my tone became blunt.

“I-It’s nothing…I was just telling the truth.”
“Even so…I am more than happy.”
“…Mmm.”
“…Ah.”

Both of us fell silent.

What was it?
What was with this atmosphere?
It was too different from usual. Are we under some kind of new attack? Otherwise, I couldn’t explain this atmosphere.

I don’t know what’s going on, so I glanced at Yuika’s face.
At the same time, Yuika was also looking at me.

Our eyes met.
Then we snapped back.

“…Ah.”
“Ah…”

We both turned away at the same time, getting redder.
So what was with this atmosphere!?

It was natural for me to be struck by the sight of Yuika as a young wife. It was the truth since the birth of the universe.
But why was it even this way for Yuika…?

I looked over and saw that the shrine maiden’s clothes had been removed from the table.
It seemed that she had taken it off in a hurry, and neither the white costume nor the red hakama had been folded. They were really just left on the bed.

It was as if she had hastily changed her style to that of a young wife.

The miko outfit also boasted immense offensive power against me. Of course, for today, a young wife is the most powerful thing in the world…Why did Yuika suddenly change her strategy?

I looked back at her, but I was still embarrassed to look into her eyes, so I turned away and asked her.

“Why…are you dressed like that today?”
“Fueh!? T-That’s…”

Her voice raised.
Yuika fidgeted and held the cardigan that was about to fall off her shoulders.

“…Of course, it’s a beautiful day, the church bells are ringing in my heart, and the flower showers are dancing all over the place…Ah, but if Souta wants to wear white, that’s fine too…Ah god, it’s so embarrassing when you ask me straight out!”

She said something fast and incomprehensible, and the sense of panic increased at an accelerated rate. Then, suddenly, Yuika shouted.　

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea! I was not in a hurry to change into this outfit for Souta, you know.”
“Why are you suddenly a tsundere!?”

It was just like when we were in middle school!

It was so unexpected that it shot through my heart.
Ah no, it was too cute to think straight.

Umm, what was it?
What was I doing just now?

…Ah, yes, the war. Yuika and I were currently fighting over Aoi’s sister-in-law issue.

That means…well, this young wife style was a super mode for interrogating me. It was super effective.

Indeed…As expected of Yuika of Hearts. You’re going to beat me with a clear mirror when my life becomes an imaginary number and I become a devilsoutm…”
“Heh? No, Souta, what are you talking about…?”

“But! I’m not going to lose! Not until I return the earth to a green planet one day. Therefore, I must make the first move!”

I kicked the floor with deadly determination.
In an instant, I closed the distance and extended my arm.

“I’ll braid your braids for you! It’s my turn while I’m braiding, so there’s no need for Yuika to attack!”
“No, what kind of outburst is that!?”

The braid was still in progress.
There are two tassels, the braid on the right side was complete, but the left side was still unwoven and straight.

That was what I was going to do.
It was not because I want to touch Yuika. It was very necessity to restore the earth’s rich greenery.

The palm of my hand moved closer to her hair.
But when I was almost there, suddenly a laptop was held up in front of me.

“I don’t know what it is, but it’s urgent, deploy shield treasure!”

“Gee!? I’m hoping you’ll use a shining finger or something there—Hogee!?”

I collided cruelly and bumped my nose.
This was the second time We’ve done this, and I’ve managed to stop it suddenly. I avoided fatal damage.

“I-It’s against the law to use a weapon…”
“It’s not a weapon, it’s an armor! I-I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you’re trying to touch a girl’s hair!”

“Ah, that? But I always touch your hair. I stroke your head a lot…”
“Yeah, but! But today is different. If Souta’s big hands were to touch my hair right now, I wouldn’t be nervous…! Don’t get me wrong.”
“What do you mean!?”

I don’t know what’s going on here.
What on earth could be so different from the usual? That was because my feelings are over the top.

Yuika gingerly pushed the laptop at me with a bright red face.

“A-Anyway! I’m not going to let you braid my hair now. If you do that, my heart would have a flour explosion!”
“Flour explosion? Your heart is made of flour?

“That’s right! A girl’s heart is made of sweet flour cookies!”
“No, if it explodes, it’s raw! Don’t you think you should cook them!?”

“Cook them!? What are you doing to my heart!? Stop it! You’re going to do something weird! Like in a girl’s manga!”
“Calm down, you’re even crazier than usual right now!”
“This is how you stay calm!?”

She raised her hands in the air.
The laptop flew in the air, and I hurriedly caught it.

Meanwhile, Yuika was raising and lowering her hands in a dance-like motion.
Uh, what’s this move? …Ah, the movement before one faint?

It seemed that touching me on her own was also an out.
Yuika raised her voice while playing air poka poka.

“Really, Souta is always such an exquisite cheater! You rejected me once, even if it’s only formally, but suddenly you’re shouting like that, like that, like that, like that!”

The steam began to come out of her head with a swoosh.

Ehh, what is this!? Her face was turning red like a boiler!
My childhood friend sometimes produced strange effects from her eyes, but this was the first time steam poof!

“Yuika! What’s wrong with you? Did the heart cookie perform flour explosion all by itself?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know anything at all…”
“It’s not an explosion, it’s a thought meltdown! What the hell is going on in your mind!?”
“Heh? What? It’s obvious. Souta is…”

Yuika was flustered with a dumbfounded look on her face.
I felt like she was going to melt away if I leave her alone.

Don’t tell me she has caught another cold?
It’s better to let her sleep… Okay, let’s call a truce.

“Yuika, I’m going to touch you. No objections.”
“Eh? Wai—hyah!?”

I hugged the back of her cardigan, ran my hands behind the knees of her long skirt, and picked her up in one smooth motion.
For some reason, Yuika flapped her arms and legs.

“W-W-What are you doing!? The explosion, the flour explosion, the meltdown is in danger! I’m not nervous, okay?
“It’s okay if you’re not. Hey, don’t get mad. What’s the matter with you? You’re usually happy to say, ‘Hey, you’re carrying me like a princess!’”

“T-This is not the time to be carefree, is it? Eh, why? Why are you acting so normal, Souta?”

No, I’m not normal at all.
I’ve been getting heartbreak shots of my young wife since a while ago because she’s so cute and cuddly.

The reason why I seemed to be normal was that Yuika seemed to be in bad shape.
She was absorbing the shock of the corkscrew punch by burning her heart cookies raw.

“I put my mind into nursing mode because Yuika looks like you has a fever. Here, hold on tight as we move.”
“No, I don’t have a fever! In fact, it’s Souta who’s making me hot! Eh, no way, could it be…”

Yuika’s eyes widen as she realized something.

“This guy doesn’t even know what he’s done!?”
“…Eh, did I do something?”
“Geez! He really doesn’t know!”

She screamed as if she had just seen the scariest horror movie in America.
She covered her face with her palms and struck an Oh My God pose.

“So, Souta does not know the structure of this house as well as we four heavenly kings of Kisaragi. I’ve only recently come to understand it, so I don’t even understand the angle and direction of the echoes. So, this is the work of the…Kisaragi Four Heavenly Kings, second in rank!”

“What, the Four Heavenly Kings? Who’s second?”
“Shut up! You’re just letting them roll you around in the palm of their hand! Thanks to you, this has become a problem that I have to solve! How am I supposed to handle this feeling all by myself?”
“W-What? What are you mad at me for!?”

It was dangerous for her to act out, so I put her down on the bed for now.
However, the princess’s anger did not subside. She was flapping her arms and legs in all directions.

“Damn it! You’re usually pretty sharp, but sometimes when you become an insensitive main character, it gets really back. It’s really that kind of thing, Souta!”
“What do you mean…?”
“That kind of thing!”

She got up from the bed with a thud.
She inhaled heavily and said.
It was like blowing my heart cookies to smithereens.

 

“I don’t want to be with Souta right now! No contact for about three hours until I’ve calmed down!”

 

I didn’t know what she said right away.
But like crawling chaos, my understanding slowly caught up with me.

Eh, no contact? For three hours? No, more than that, more than anything else…

Normally, I might have been able to interpret this a little more calmly.
However, the current Yuika was a young wife. The blow from her figure was too powerful.

Y-Yuika doesn’t want to be with me!?

I hadn’t felt this way since I was three years old after taking a bath.
My body couldn’t stop shaking.

“…Ehh? Souta began to shake very slightly. What’s wrong?
“Oh, oh, ooh, oh my god…!”

She broke my heart in a bad way, and I fell to my knees.
Looking like a champion sinking to the mat.
The gong of defeat rang out in my heart.