Ch. 79: Experimental Mini-Interlude: Mikami of Highschool (Start)

It was lunchtime at school. Today’s the day after Yuika’s muscles were sore.
I was doing some research on my phone.
I’m looking for a good poultice for Yuika.

When she smells the poultice, she would immediately hold her nose and says, “Hmmm!”
Well, to tell you the truth, she’s so cute, like a kitten, and I’d like to see her show her dislike for the first time in a while, but it’s too much to whip her sore muscles even more, so I’m looking for a poultice that doesn’t smell so bad.

“…Mikami…hear me…? …Hey, Mi….”

However, when it came time to look for something serious, it became difficult to find.
What I want is a poultice that works great on sore muscles and doesn’t smell at all.

Of course, there are plenty of such products out there, but looking at the reviews and such, it seems that the effectiveness varies from person to person, and I can’t find the right one.

“…Can you…hear…me? Goodness, Mikami…you’re…ignoring…”

I think I’m going to have to show up at the science club and ask them to make one.
I bet those scientists would be happy to do it, and if I ask them to do it during their lunch break, it should be ready after school.

But the science department’s products have side effects. Like once I put it on Yuika, she would go into heat and such…This time, my reason might go on strike…Hmmm, I’m torn.

“HEY MIKAMI! That’s enough! Stop ignoring me. Listen to me!”
“Whoa, what the heck? Ah, just the President. Sorry, I was just doing some research.”

“You’ve been summoned to the student council room and you’re carelessly playing with your smartphone? What kind of nerve do you have, as usual?”
“No, because, President, you always preface things too long.”
“ I’m not only the President, but I’m also a third-year student, a senior to you, a second-year.”

This was the school’s student council room.
There was an office desk in front of me, and a boy with glasses and all-black hair was looking at me and tugging at his temples. He is our student council President.

He looks like he’s lacking in calcium, so being the caring person that I am, I try to make small talk with him.

“To tell you the truth, Yuika’s muscles are sore from training too hard. I’m looking for a good poultice for her. But she’s always hated the smell of poultices.”
“I didn’t want to hear about your childhood friend! No, I’m not listening about your childhood friend, you’re listening to me!”

As soon as I told him, his all-back bangs fell in a flurry.
Next to the President stood a blonde gal with a full head of hair. She may look flashy, but she stands with a neat and tidy air. She’s our Vice President. She is a sophomore like me.

She was originally a member of the “gyaru” (girly) club, but she fell in love with the President and is now trying to become a neat and clean beauty, making her a unique member of the student council.
The Vice President pulled out a comb from her cleavage and held it out.

“Your hair is a mess, President. This way, please.”
“Ah I’m sorry, but as student body President, I have to keep my appearance in order…hmm? Where did you just get this comb?”

“It’s in my cleavage.”
“Where did you get it from!?”
“From between my chest.”
“You can’t be neat and tidy if only by honorific language!? Didn’t I always say that!?”

“I can’t?”
“Of course not!”
“You’re FK.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, ‘You’ve got to be f*cking kidding me.’”
“The problem is getting worse!?”

The student council’s famous comedy act began.
It was going to take a long time to get going, so I stopped it with a show of hands before it gained momentum.

“Can I go home, Mr. President?”
“Don’t leave! Mikami, that’s a serious FK!?”
“Oh, that hard-headed President has mastered gal-talk.”

I was so impressed that I clapped along with the Vice President.

“President is a mendy.”
“President is a mendy.”
“What does that meant!?”

“Means ‘you’re a pain in the *ss.’”
“What she said”
“Are you both making a fool of me? Why are all the students at our school like this…ugh.”

In great sorrow, the President sat at his desk and held his head in his hands.
However, he thought he couldn’t go on like this, so he cleared his throat and changed the air. He seemed to have regained his composure and glared at me.

“Mikami, the reason I called you here is because of what happened on the way to school this morning. I heard you were riding your motorcycle to school again. Several students have witnessed this.
“Gee…I see what you mean.”

I finally understood the situation and scratched my head.
As the President said, I rode my motorcycle to school this morning. This is the car I borrowed from the dorm leader yesterday.

I returned the bike in the morning, and in return, I bought him a beef bowl from the school cafeteria at lunchtime. And then I said, “Well, thank you” and he said, “Oh, if you need anything else, you can always tell me”. And that’s how I ended up here.

“I thought I made it to school without being spotted, but I guess it didn’t work out that way. Sorry, President. I’ll be careful next time.”
“Not next time. I’m telling you not to do it. And you’ve ridden a scooter to school before.”

“Umm, has that ever happened? I don’t remember that.”
“It did. Don’t underestimate my memory, I’m the best in the nation at mock exams. You can’t cheat me. So, here’s the penalty. Mikami, you’re going to help me with the student council work.”
“Student Council work…”

I instantly had a bad feeling about this.
The vice-President is a bit of a jerk, but our President is rather good. He can do most of the work on his own, and the student council itself is working just fine.

And yet he has gone to the trouble of dumping it on me…In all likelihood, it would be rough or troublesome.

“I would have to say no with all my heart…”
“I knew you’d say that, but you won’t.”
“What’s with the assertive tone…?”
“I can assure you.”

The President smiles with annoying certainty.

“You would not abandon those who are in need right in front of you. Once you reach out your hand, you will never let go until you scoop them up. That’s why I want to nominate Kanata Mikami as the next student council President.”

It started again…
I sigh, deeply disappointed.

“I told you I’m not going to be President. I’ve already decided that I’m going to spend my after-school time lazing around with Yuika.”
“I know your beliefs, but it will be a long time before I retire. Just think about it.”

“The answer is still the same.”

“That’s unfortunate.”
“…”
“…”
“…And?”
“Hmm?”

I was annoyed by his deliberate gesture of raising his glasses.
But the President is better at tricks than I am. I have no choice but to give up and ask him.

“What kind of work do you need my help with?”
“Huh? You’ll do it?”
“…That was deliberate. I know you said it, but I’m not going to say no. To be honest, if it was a chore like paperwork, I’d run. …Someone is in trouble, right? If so, let’s get it over with.”
“You’re the man I expected.”

The President instructed with a glance, and the Vice President handed over a set of documents.
I looked through it quickly, and sure enough, it was a rough & messy affair.
The President folded his hands on his desk and spoke the main points.

“The request was from the captain of the girls’ basketball team. It seems that there is a voyeur in the school. Mikami, I want you to catch this criminal.”
“Understood.

I turned and my blazer flapped in the air.

“—I’ll get it over before school ends.”

 

 

[TLN: Yo my exams are over, I’m free yay!]