Chapter 167 – Florida Man Builds Ramps on Public Parking Lot Rooftop to Complete IRL GTA Stunt Jump Achievements

Leo came back to the bus unhindered. As for the corpse, he had already stored it in his spatial ring as the immortal was already dead.

Upon coming back, Leo found his people waiting for him near the bus. As Leo was the only one who could open the bus, they couldn’t get inside.

In addition, a few fresh corpses were nearby. Some of their blood splashed on the bus’s windows. Cat was also busy eating some of them. Noticeably, Marc’s bastard sword had some bloodstain on it, and Beatrice was busy dissecting one of the corpses.

Esen was tired of waiting. She pointed at the bus’s door and complained.

“Open na noor!”

“…”

Leo held back his laughter. She sounded drunk because of her boredom.

“What the hell happened here?” Asked Leo.

Esen crossed her arms and snorted, “Some idiots tried to rob the bus. Cat and my servants cleaned up the mess.”

“Oh, nice, but…” Leo looked at Beatrice. The silent blindfolded girl extracted something from a corpse and flickered it toward Ivy. The latter caught it and cleaned it with her water Qi. Then, she offered it to Esen.

“My lady. Another one.”

“Thanks!” Esen giggled and took the little marble. She was about to pop it into her mouth, but she glanced at Leo. Seeing his curious look, she paused for a moment.

“Want one?” Asked Esen.

“What’s that?”

“A cultivator’s crystalized dantian. It’s very rich in Qi.”

Leo flinched, “No, thanks. Again, I’m not Hannibal Lecter. I don’t partake in cannibalism.”

“Suit yourself.”

Esen shrugged and tossed it into her mouth. She chewed it.

CRUNCH

The crunching sound was the same as when someone chewed a hard candy. Leo’s teeth itched by just listening to the noise.

As everybody was there, Leo unlocked the shuttle bus’s door and opened it. After unlocking the door, he invited the others to get in.

“Let’s go home. Oh, as for the corpses, store them in your rings if you have any. Don’t waste your time here.”

The group happily entered the bus. Cat, Taxi, and Ricardo transformed into a human and got on as well.

Gao Yan was the last one to enter the bus before Leo. As he was about to enter, he looked at Leo and asked.

“Senior, sir.”

“Yeah?”

“Instead of sleeping in that abandoned courtyard, wouldn’t it be better if we parked the ship in the yard and rest in the ship instead yesterday?”

“…”

Leo silently facepalmed. He thought about it as well, and he regretted not parking the bus in the courtyard.

Since lamenting for the mistake wouldn’t improve his life, Leo chased Gao Yan onto the bus.

“Just get in!”

“Y-Yes, sir!”

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Half a day later, Leo’s group arrived home. He properly landed the bus on the west runway and taxied his vehicle back to the general store.

When everybody arrived, the group was reluctant to get off. After all, the bus was too comfortable to live in. They wished they could use the bus as a resident.

“Hey, geezer!” Esen yelled from the back of the bus, “Can I and my people live here instead of that shabby house?”

Xu Nuan and Tiger Swordsman gulped as they also had the same idea. They gazed at Leo, hoping for a positive answer.

Leo rolled his eyes as he had predicted it. But then, he was inspired.

He remembered that he hadn’t built a parking lot yet. In addition, Leo could fill the parking lot with upgraded motorhome coaches to house his workers. The prices of the upgrades and the vehicles were also about the same as the apartment building. Therefore, he had some free residential buildings he could use.

“Alright. Since you want it that much, I’ll give it to you for one condition.”

Esen’s eyes gleamed in excitement. Xu Nuan and Tiger Swordsman’s ears also widened.

“What is the condition?”

Leo smirked, “You have virgin yin while I have virgin yang. I need some of your blood for alchemy. Every month, I want you to pay rent with your blood.”

Esen’s expression turned solemn. She let out a short sigh of relief, “For a moment there, I thought you would ask for my virginity or something.”

“I ain’t a sex-depraved virgin. I’m a cultured stoic super alpha male of my species. I need no women!”

“…But you’re a pervert that dreams for big boobas.”

“That’s too. I have an on-and-off switch!”

“…”

“Back to the deal, can you pay rent with your blood?”

“…Fine with me. How much do you need?”

“Not much. Just this much.”

Leo laughed and purchased a plastic water gallon from his system shop.

As soon as the gallon came out, Xu Nuan and others sweated profusely while Esen’s face turned dark.

That was a gallon!

Esen yelled at Leo in frustration, “Are you a vampire or something?! Why do you take so much?! Are you trying to bleed me to death?!”

Leo scoffed, “I can’t collect your lifespan. What else can you give me if it’s not your virgin yin blood?”

Esen puffed her chest, “Of course, you can get my loyalty. But if you’re kinky, you can have me as well.”

“I’d rather hump a sexy tree than hump a corpse. No, thanks.”

“BASTARD!”

Esen teleported in front of Leo and kicked him to the nuts. Unfortunately, his precious jewels were too hard, and she hurt her feet once again.

Leo cackled and exited the bus, leaving the annoying elf behind. Meanwhile, Esen realized that she had been bullied again. She swore that she would get back at him one day.

Ivy came out from her room to console her master. She patted her back.

“Master, other couples sometimes quarrel and end up in physical abuse. In your case, Lord Florida Man didn’t even try to hurt you, but you hurt yourself. I’m sure he cares for you.”

“WHO SAID WE’RE COUPLES?!” Esen screeched at Ivy.

“Aren’t you dao companions? You and him smell the same for some reason.”

“…Same smell? Me?” Esen sniffed her armpit.

“Aren’t you staying in his cabin? A man and woman staying in the same bedroom, if you are not his dao companion, why are you staying in his bedroom?”

“…”

Finally, Esen realized the cause of the misunderstandings. Esen turned around, hiding her red face. She teleported back into Leo’s cabin at the back of the bus.

The crowd on the bus saw everything. The tamer girls quietly squealed as they got a new scoop. Xu Nuan and Tiger Swordsman shook their heads and got off the bus. As for Esen’s servants, they remained there.

Cat, Taxi, and Ricardo were indifferent on the matter. They rushed out of the bus and reverted to their monster appearances. The trio stretched and relaxed.

“SMASH!” Taxi dashed back to his barn.

“…Smash.” Ricardo nodded at Cat and returned to his group as well.

“Nom-Nom Meow <3”

Cat turned toward the granaries. Like a menacing giant spider, she crept on top of the general store and leaped toward the food storage to plunder Leo’s crops once again.

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After getting out of the bus, Leo put his idea to work. He opened the domain system menu and purchased the parking lot.

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Parking Lot

Requirement – Humble General Store Level 8

Price – 1,000 Years of Lifespan

Space – 30 x 30

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This structure had been sitting in his system for a while, but Leo had been ignoring it. As he could use this to his advantage, he built it right away.

Leo placed the parking lot west of the clothing store as the west area was empty. The 30 x 30 grits transformed into a flatland.

Not satisfied with the appearance, Leo upgraded it to level 9. Then, the structure changed.

Instead of an empty parking lot, a new building appeared on top of the flatland. It was a parking lot building.

Leo frowned as he didn’t expect this. He got closer to check the ceiling height as his battle bus might not fit in there.

Fortunately, Leo’s worry was pointless. The ceiling was 10 meters tall, a lot taller than standard parking lot buildings in the modern world. Moreover, it was more spacious than its outward appearance.

Leo entered the building and noticed a massive space inside. At a glance, the space should be more than 3,000 sq/m. Moreover, there were only four pillars, which was unusual.

Seeing such a wide space, Leo was delighted. He rushed back to the bus and drove it to the parking lot. But then, he came across an issue.

There was no guideline or drawn lines to indicate the rooms.

Since it was a blank building, Leo had no choice but to use his own judgment. As a civilized man from the modern world, he looked for a parking space for handicapped people.

Of course, he couldn’t find any.

As Leo couldn’t find any yellow line, he designed to be pragmatic and calculative. He drove the bus to the top floor.

The parking lot building came with 9 levels. It took Leo a while to navigate the huge bus up the road. Fortunately, the slops were big enough for buses and giant trucks.

After getting to the top floor, Leo chose the corner-most area and lined the bus along with the edge, facing the door toward the center of the building.

His job was finished. Next, Leo began scouting the area.

As Leo looked around, he was surprised once again. The top of the parking lot was the same size as its outward appearance. Thus, there was less space than the interior of the building.

Looking at the scenery from the rooftop, Leo remembered something. He rushed back into the bus and drove it to the 8th floor instead. Then, he parked it at the edge of the floor to save space.

After getting out, Leo rushed to the top floor. He then searched for a metal ramp that he could set on this building.

He wasn’t disappointed. There were plenty, and Leo managed to pick the right one. He fit one to the south barrier of the rooftop and nodded in satisfaction.

With the ramp, he could drive a bike and land on the south farm to complete a rare stunt trick.

The South ramp wasn’t enough. Leo added another one to the west so that he could drive something to the empty area. Then, he looked at the east, where the clothing store and his general store were.

Adding one to that area was a stupid idea. Leo didn’t want any employee to have a funny idea and crash a car into his shopping mall.

“A parking space’s rooftop isn’t completed without a ramp! Now, what should I do with the limited space here? I need a longer road for a bike or a supercar to get some speed…”

Leo wondered if he could build an adjacent building to become an elevated road or a runway. Because of the distraction and his incurable ADHD, he forgot about the fate crystal quest for the entire day.

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Far west, ten kilometers away from Yan Empire’s west coast, a white-haired burly elderly man hovered over the ocean, gazing at the fading defensive array of the continent. He wore tiger skin as clothes, and he had four arms instead of two.

The old man crossed his lower arms while his upper arms stretched forward. He widely grinned, anticipating chaos and opportunities.

“Finally, Yan Xiang’s petty array is down. I guess Flame Blade Immortal has already found the fate crystal. It’s about time for me to make my moves.”

The old man whistled. A few seconds later, a massive portal appeared behind him, and ten thousand cultivators came out from the other side. All cultivators had four arms like the old man, and their average strength was in the soul transformation stage. Over a hundred of them were quasi-immortals.

As for the old man, his rainbow aura and air were similar to the flame swordsman that Leo had encountered. He was an earth celestial immortal disguised as a quasi-immortal cultivator.

Without looking at his comrades, the old man announced.

“We, the Gorr Tribe, have been hiding for 500 years because of Situ Nantian and Yan Xiang! They intentionally developed sweet dream mushrooms and planted them in our territory! Because of those mushrooms and those cowards, we were driven out of this planet. Wait no more, my brethren! Yan Xiang’s precious jewel, the Earth Fate Crystal, has fallen into our hands! We will avenge our fallen comrades and show our appreciation for forcing us to grow in the demon realm!”

The cultivators behind the old man roared like savage beasts. Their iris and pupils were ignited, emitting orange flame. Yellow tribulation flame came out from their pores as they were ready for combat.

The old man pointed in front of him.

“CHARGE! TAKE BACK OUR DOMAIN! KILL EVERYBODY!”