1 – childhood

I didn’t really believe what people said. Most of them were insensitive to people’s feelings.

Whether someone likes me or hates me, it doesn’t affect me much.

People used to point fingers at me, saying that I was a nasty bastard by nature itself.

If I was born to be a person who is indifferent to others and has no emotions, it is not like that again.

There was also a time when I was in desperate need of someone’s attention and love. I was able to respond sincerely to the feelings of others, and there were times when I had a heartfelt emotional exchange with someone by pouring everything into it.

It’s just that I’ve become numb to it over time.

The first person to tell me that I love her was my mother.

My father died in an unexpected accident a month after he left to work in another city to make a living, and my mother raised me alone.

After living a hard life for several years, one day her mother disappeared leaving behind a letter saying she was sorry.

I wandered around the city for three days and three nights. Even when I was hit by a carriage while crying on the street and blood flowed from my forehead, I continued to look for my mother, fearing that she might disappear forever.

Tired of crying, he fell asleep on the street and then looked for his mother again, and it seemed like that for about ten days. I was so hungry that I couldn’t cry anymore, and I was beaten for stealing fruit from the market.

I was left half-dead in the slums, and an Acates priest accidentally found me and took me in.

After that, I ended up staying at the Temple of Akates, in Loreil Hall, which was operated as an orphanage there.

There were dozens of orphans besides me. None of them even knew their parents’ faces. Most of them firmly believed that one day their parents would come looking for them.

I missed my mom every night. How is it possible for you to leave so heartlessly, saying you love me? As a child, I couldn’t understand it at all.

I spent months crying every night. It was as if I had been forever abandoned by the world. As time passed, I got used to life without my mother. It was then that I realized that no matter how great the sadness, one day you will get used to it and be able to bear it.

Sometimes, like a natural disaster, the sadness of being abandoned was overwhelming. It was especially true when I saw children my age walking on the street holding their parents’ hands and smiling brightly.

All the orphans in Lorail Hall had scars in the same shape as me in their hearts, and perhaps because of that, we were able to quickly become friends. I was able to fill the empty space in my heart by hanging out with them.

I met Lisa there. She was the same age as me, and was committed to the temple a year earlier than I was.

She was a girl with dull gray hair and big, bright eyes.

There was something special about Liza’s identity, that she was the daughter of a prestigious wizarding family that even had connections with the imperial family, and that she came here even though she had a family to take care of her.

Her parents died during the war, and her uncle succeeded her as the head of the household. However, Lisa said that she suffered from her uncle’s violence and abuse, and after resisting all kinds of things, she was entrusted to this place.

Since Liza and I became friends, she would complain to me from time to time.

“I envy you.”

“Why?”

“I’d rather have no family.”

“It’s because you don’t know how lonely it is to not have a family.”

“Then can you marry into a family?”

“What are you talking about?”

“My uncle was always like that. Our family is the best wizarding family on the continent, and to maintain the blessings of this lineage, we must form family bonds.”

“what?”

“And they said that my mother was a mongrel with no pedigree or genealogy from where she came from.”

“He is a really bad person.”

“Be careful with your words. If you get caught saying that, this is it.”

She then pretended to cut her throat with her hand.

“My uncle beat me all night for every wrong word. I won’t let you go either.”

“Does it mean that you and your uncle have to marry each other?”

“yes. I hate to die When I grow up, my uncle will come looking for me. It’s terrible. I would rather die or become a nun than marry my uncle.”

Liza did not easily get along with the other children. The other children also knew that Liza was a daughter of a noble family, and because of this, they did not easily assimilate into the group.

I don’t know why, but Liza opened up to me. Maybe he liked it because I was a good listener. She liked to talk, and I liked to listen.

I was Lisa’s best friend. She sat next to me during services, catechism and liberal arts classes, and meals. Even when playing with other children, she always teamed up with me.

Liza liked flowers and herbs. In her spare time, she studied herbalism on her own. After class, she would take me on a walk in the woods. She used to go on a walk in the woods and talk about the stories in the book with excitement when she came across a herb she knew.

For most of my childhood, Liza was always by my side. It’s true that Liza’s existence certainly supported one axis of my anxious emotions, but it wasn’t just good.

If I happened to sit next to another child or hang out with another child after class, she would pout and lock herself in the room and not come out for hours.

When she was upset, I picked Liza’s favorite flowers or herbs and brought them to her. She liked the flower called Elcanto the most, and although it had no effect, she liked the pretty petals and the sweet scent. Giving her flowers and herbs made her feel better.

Then, there were times when Liza became so angry that even flowers and herbs couldn’t solve it.

Lisa was not on good terms with the other girls living in the temple, but when I hung out with other girls, she expressed her jealousy and anger through violent behavior.

When she got angry, she would sand my quilt or tear my clothes and notebooks to shreds. I did worse things to the girl I was hanging out with. He was given a severe punishment for secretly sprinkling poisonous weed powder in another girl’s pillow.

Tired of her overreaching behavior, she once declared a break with her. Liza stopped eating and drinking, locked the door, and hid herself. The hermit walk lasted for a week. It was quiet during the day, but the priests said they heard sad crying every time they passed it at dawn.

When Liza’s condition deteriorated, the nun intervened and forcibly reconciled the two of us, and only then did we end our seclusion.

Liza and I always went together, even in our adolescence.

Liza reached puberty and her appearance gradually changed. Her dull gray hair turned into silver hair, and her childlike eyes became darker in a feminine way. Day by day, he grew taller, lost cheek fat, and his chin became slimmer. Her skin became whiter and whiter as the days went by.

Liza and the high priest had frequent meetings. It was because of a problem related to Liza’s lineage.

“The fountain of magic has been opened.”

“what is that?”

“It is a special ability of our Pascal family lineage. Everyone in my family had their magical springs opened around my age.”

“Is it good?”

She said, grabbing her silver hair and letting it hang down to the side.

“yes. My spring is in the danteon, and a lot of magic comes out of it. This hair also changed color because of the fountain of magic. I liked the old days.”

“It’s still cool enough.”

“My family doesn’t age well thanks to the fountain of magic.”

“Well.”

“Even if you become a middle-aged man, I won’t be much different from now.”

“I don’t want to be treated like a kid at that age.”

“Me too. And the High Priestess will teach you basic magic.”

“Since when?”

“From tomorrow.”

“Will I become a wizard friend from tomorrow?”

“yes. From tomorrow, don’t cry because I’m gone, and don’t make trouble.”

“Where are you going?”

“No, I just decided to take classes for an hour or two separately in the evening.”

“What am I going to do in the evening?”

“Just stay calm. no, i’m thinking Think about what to do with me.”

There was something I felt clearly while watching her grow up. Liza was a completely different person from me. As time went on, the difference in background, innate talent, and innate appearance became more pronounced. If the priest of Achates hadn’t picked me up, we might never have met each other.

But unfortunately, she and I were close friends, family, and companions. We shared everything about each other. As time went on, Liza and I penetrated deeply into each other’s lives. We were emotionally connected, and we couldn’t imagine life without each other.

Lisa was afraid of growing old. It was because of the fear that his uncle would come looking for him when he got older.

After Lisa’s magical spring was opened, Pascal’s retainers visited the temple once every six months to check Lisa’s condition.

Liza’s expression was not very good on the day she met them.

After that, Liza said, as a habit, that we should be together even when we grow up.

“Let’s live together when we grow up.”

She even joked about getting married together. Whenever that happened, I always accepted her offer.

Even when we grew up, we knew very well how difficult it is in reality to be together all the time. It was hard to keep, and there was a high possibility that we wouldn’t be together in the future. As Liza’s ability bloomed and grew day by day, I could feel it more and more.

However, if we made a covenant like that, we were able to forget our hardships for a while.

The orphans of Acates Temple could no longer stay in Loreil Hall once they reached the age of 17. That’s why I had to find my career early and when the time came, I had to stand on my own.

Liza had enough qualities to become a great wizard. When he turned 17, he was likely to enter the academy. Her future was bright.

I started learning metalwork at the age of 14. At the age of 15, he picked up his skills bit by bit by doing odd jobs in a fairly large workshop.

Time passed and we turned 15 years old. At that time, Lisa was nervous and her personality was sensitive.

The number of times Pascal family vassals visited Lisa increased, and the number of times Lisa visited me also increased.

On the days when he met his vassals, he would occasionally hug me and tremble silently like a lost puppy. When asked what was going on, Liza did not answer.

I collected discarded pieces of iron and wire while working in a workshop. Among them, I picked out those that were in good condition, melted them down, and glued them together. Applying the skills he learned while working at the workshop, he made a ring while staying up all night.

When I gave my first piece to Liza, she was overjoyed. She put the ring on the ring finger of her left hand. He flipped his hands back and forth as if it were a diamond ring and gave a sly smile.

“I’ll give you something nicer later.”

“It’s still good.”

Lisa’s smile was always nice to see. How long can I keep watching this smile? The desire to always be with Liza welled up inside me.

And one summer day at the age of 15, I heard the second time in my life that I loved you.