Love

 

… Why do you have to blame yourself Iris…

I wonder if I learned it at that time when I was in love with Ed.

Love makes people foolish…

 

I fell quickly and drowned in it. 
Nothing more than despair awaited me from it.

… And the same as now I also wished at that time for the other party to love me as I love them. For myself, so the what happened with Ed doesn’t happen again … no, no more. I must stop.

I want to let go of him, I want to forget about his existence, but at the same time I want to make him drown in my feelings, I want to make him recognize me and love me …

 

Yes, I hoped… I hoped…

Without thinking about the other person’s intention.

Even now, I’m only thinking about my feelings.. that’s right. Expecting love from him and loving him without permission and feeling angry if I didn’t get what I wanted.

… It seems that my behavior is not different from a child who can not get the toy he wants.

 

Before I knew, Tanya was walking behind me.

 

She did not say anything and was chasing me the entire time from when I got up from the First Prince table.  

When I noticed I was standing close to the entrance… Oh, I must have come back unconscious … 

Although my head was occupied heavily with thoughts, my chest feels lightly now.

 

I gently strike my hand against the chest.

 

… I lost it!

The pocket watch that I’m always wearing is now lost.

To that fact, I quickly paled up. 

 

“Lady?”

 

I stopped suddenly, she noticed my change in the complexion and Tanya cried.

 

“… Tanya … I’m sorry but I left something important behind. Will you go get it?”

 

“But… Milady you’re not okay now… I can’t leave you alone…”

 

“Please, by all means, I do not want to lose it, but I can’t go back to that place… I’ll be waiting around here, please.”

 

There is no consciousness of the rare weak figure I’m exposing right now.

But … that thing, is so important to me, to the extent I’d do anything for it. 

 

“… I am afraid to go back there, please bring it to me Tanya…”

 

She doesn’t want to leave my side so she showed a conflicted face for a while … but, at the end she said okay.

 

“Okay…”

 

I saw her off from behind. And waited quietly on the spot.

Unintentionally, I put my hands on my chest. That gesture is like a habit to me.

 

…… Really, how strange.

Even if that pocket watch comes back, so what of it? … Rather, the happy past that accompanies it is only painful for me now to remember it.

 

I vaguely look at the garden facing the corridor.

So, people were close to me all the time while I was talking with him.

While I was thinking that, I suddenly heard footsteps..
It’s really early for Tanya to have come back already..

When I turned back to see if it was Tanya and if she found it, it was Dean who was standing there.

Before I had the chance to ask him why he’s here… he took my hand and walks away pulling me.

 

To this unusual fortune, I am confused and I can’t keep up with the present situation.

 

When we entered a nearby vacancy room, he lets go of my hand.