92 – Ready. (One)

preparation (1)

It’s a cold winter.

I felt the cold of the frozen ground on my knees.

Those standing around couldn’t see their faces in the shadows, but at least I could tell what kind of gaze they were looking at.

Is it pitiful or sympathetic?

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No.

It is an insensitivity that contains nothing.

I was only looking at the woman’s face in the midst of those gazes.

Tears flowing non-stop, hands caressing my cheeks.

I didn’t say anything.

I just looked at the woman with empty eyes.

[Sorry… .]

I didn’t know what the meaning of the apple that flowed from the woman’s mouth was.

what?

What are you sorry about me?

[I’m sorry mom… .]

Words repeated in a sad voice.

I still couldn’t say anything.

What kind of expression was the father standing next to him?

I couldn’t bear to look up.

If I had looked up at that time, I would have collapsed.

No, did it already collapse at that time?

[…] Stop falling.]

I heard my father’s determined voice.

The hand of the mother who was touching the cheek slowly goes down.

[…] Sorry.]

Those three damn letters are stuck in my chest.

whose fault is this

It snows.

My body started to shiver more and more from the cold.

Although the mother’s coat, which was wrapped in a hurry, was blown away by the wind.

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Nobody cared

It was the first cold I experienced in my life.

The feeling of being frozen from the inside, not because of the season.

It was only now that I realized that it was even more terrifying.

[Preparation.]

[All finished.]

After a few conversations, the mother bowed her head.

I looked at it quietly and immediately asked my father.

[…] Why?]

I did not dare to look up.

But now, from my words, I could see that my father was looking at me.

[…] Why are you showing me this?]

I couldn’t understand.

why do i have to watch this

Why should I just watch my mother’s tears?

I couldn’t tell.

I didn’t even want to understand.

[What the hell do you want from me… ?]

[It’s what I want.]

My father’s low tone weighed on my shoulder.

What emotions do you feel in your voice?

Is it anger?

It’s quiet to do that.

is it sadness

His voice was too dry for that.

[anything.]

At my father’s words, I raised my gaze without realizing it and met his eyes.

[There is nothing I want from you. Just stay alive, that’s enough.]

At the words with sharp eyes, I held back the tightness of my heart.

I move my gaze that has been looking into my eyes for a long time.

[I will open it.]

Saying that, with a small hand gesture, a huge door appeared behind the mother tearing through the air.

A fishy smell was mixed with the reddish aura that emanated from the door that appeared with the wind blowing.

[this… .]

As I feel bewildered and frightened, my mother carefully holds my hand.

I looked at my mother with trembling eyes, but my mother had her head down, so I couldn’t see her properly.

[…] I’ll ask for the decree.]

[mom… ?]

I wanted to hold onto it even now.

Where should we go, why did we have to leave?

I hurriedly stretched out my hand to see if it was too late to ask, but as soon as the flowing energy reached my mother, her body began to disappear in an instant.

[not… . no! mom!]

I moved my body to grab something, but I was pushed back by my father’s hand.

I barely got my balance and tried to jump in again, but in that short time the door was already closed.

There was nothing left where Mother had been sitting.

As if nothing had happened.

[how… why?]

Why are you with us?

I tried to cry out with the emotions hidden inside, but my father still wasn’t looking at me.

I didn’t want you to love me

It was okay because I knew from the beginning that I was a human far from that.

I didn’t want you to look forward to it. Since I was young in the first place, I was overwhelmed with just protecting what I had.

[…] why… ! Why why! why!!]

He rushed at his father and put all his strength into it and beat him like he was hitting a wall.

Even if it was, it wouldn’t have shown the slightest hint, but if I didn’t do it like this, I felt like I would go crazy.

My arm gave out strength and I couldn’t swing it anymore, so my father told me.

[Are you satisfied?]

It was as if all emotions had dried up.

I finally sat down on those words.

A dark darkness hung in front of my eyes.

Only then could I feel it as a child.

It’s called despair.

Sitting down in that fishy and disgusting feeling, I’m breathing hard with the flowing tears.

My father casually passed me by and said,

[Follow me, I have something to show you.]

That being said, in reality, it was compulsory.

My body had already been caught and dragged away.

I couldn’t think of anything, and I didn’t want to think of anything.

I just wanted to disappear under the weight of the darkness.

However, as if this wasn’t the end, in the basement of the Kuga family led by his father.

I was able to find out what kind of place the old family was.

What was it made for, and what should it live for?

My father said it was my job and yours.

Damn it.

On a pitch-dark winter night, I had to realize.

The future life left for me is definitely hell.

******************

I had to keep my mouth shut for a while at the swordsmith’s question.

It was an unexpected question.

I never thought she would ask me something like this.

‘… About mother?’

It could be because he said he was friends with his mother, but that was not my question.

Didn’t you hear from Gu Ryeong-hwa?

Or do you know something?

I know that Gu Ryeong-hwa was watching that day.

But since I lost my mind right away, I didn’t think I was watching everything.

“Why are you curious about that?”

It was a slightly sharp voice that I did not know. I needed to trim the insides a bit.

Geomhu maintained a calm expression.

where did the mother go It’s something I’ve been curious about all my life.

Ironically, I was able to realize the answer to that only after meeting the Heavenly Demon.

“My mother is dead.”

Is it really so?

I question myself, but I didn’t want to open this up.

It was right to leave the resentment and hatred that Guryunghwa might have.

Truth is sin.

Damn it, I had to carry it.

“The details are Sega’s business, so I don’t think I can tell you.”

He intentionally gave off an air of unwillingness to answer.

It would be better than talking back and forth or blurting out behind-the-scenes talk.

After listening to my answer, the swordsman looked into my eyes for a while.

I didn’t avert my gaze either.

After the not-so-short eye contact, Geomhu closed his eyes.

“yes… . I’m sorry to ask about your pain.”

“Fine. It is already in the past.”

“Thank you for understanding. ah… . I wonder when you intend to return to Segae.”

“I think I will be back in a day or two.”

“The shoemaking exhibition will start soon… ?”

Looking at the swordsman’s reaction, it seemed that he didn’t know that Gu Ryeong-hwa said he would not go home yet.

“Originally, we planned to wait and leave together, but my younger brother said he would not go to Sega, so we plan to leave quickly.”

At each set period, Gu Ryeong-hwa had to return to Sega from the Volcano Wave.

It was because that was one of the conditions that the head of the household had put forward to the swordsman.

Looking at it like that, it was something I had to bring.

Let’s think about my father’s intention of sending me to the volcanic wave while walking all the way to Taeseondan.

‘It’s a condition that you have to bring it, but if you smoke, you don’t have to fulfill it.’

The superiors of Sega and the Elders’ Council would be watching.

If I did it, I would be punished, but it wouldn’t be a big problem.

‘If it sucks, he’ll take care of it.’

If you say it wasn’t your intention, they’ll take care of it.

If you twist, you shouldn’t have let me go.

I didn’t want to forcefully bring a child who didn’t want to go.

‘It’s enough for me to do something I don’t want to do.’

It was enough for me alone to have to pick up the things I had left in my previous life one by one.

Swordsman made a strange expression at my words.

I said that there was no problem if possible, but there was a problem after all.

Contrary to my concerns, Geomhu soon nods and says he understands.

“I see. i get it.”

Having said that, Swordsman immediately stood up.

“Sorry for taking up your time.”

“… You want to go?”

“Now that I have told you everything, I have to disappear quickly. Even the gaze from the outside is a bit scary.”

Your eyes are scary… ?

Swordsman came out the door, and I followed him to see him off.

“I’m looking forward to what you’re asking me to do.”

“It’s okay if you don’t expect too much.”

In a way, it’s important, but… . It was something I still had to think about.

“I think next time, faith will come with us.”

“… You don’t have to come. I’ll see you before I go back.”

At my words, the swordsman smiled and blurted out his words.

What? Is this a sign that you won’t listen? I should have felt a little scared.

“yes?”

When I followed Swordsman outside, Gu Ryeong-hwa and Namgung-Bia were standing outside.

I thought I was going to practice today, but what happened?

Bia Namgoong looked at Geomhu and me in silence with an expressionless face.

I want to approach him because he wants to do that, but Geomhu approaches Namgoongbia first.

“You are that child.”

As the swordsman approached, he looked a little surprised to become Namgoongbia.

Apparently, as a martial artist, swordsman is my senior, so Namgoongbia lowers her head to say hello.

Geomhu gently grabbed Namgoongbia’s hand.

“… oh!”

“Thank you for saving our apprentice… . Thank you so much.”

“no… . that.”

Namgoongbia, who was slightly restless with a puzzled expression, felt different.

“I heard a lot of stories from my disciples. I have a pretty older sister who takes care of me and helps me a lot.”

“… oops… .”

Namgoongbia slightly averted her gaze as if she was embarrassed.

“As I heard, it is very beautiful. It is the first time in my life to have such a beautiful child.”

At the compliment that followed, Namgoongbia’s head lowered as if she was about to dig into the ground.

Looking at Namgoongbia, Geomhu said.

“I heard that you are Yangchun’s fiancée.”

Yangcheon?

I wanted something from the words that came out of the swordsman’s mouth.

I never thought it would be called so warmly.

Namgoongbia nodded slightly.

He seemed to have no intention of denying it.

Now, I’ve given up halfway…

“Since you and Yangchun have a good heart, we will definitely get along well.”

‘No matter how you look at it, that’s not the case.’

I held back because I wasn’t in the mood to spit it out, but inside I immediately denied it.

The swordsman left after saying that he wanted to see Namgoongbia one more time to repay her next time.

After confirming that Swordsman had left, I asked Namgoongbia.

“Didn’t you go to training?”

“… yes.”

Fortunately, the bandage on the broken arm had healed within a few days.

“… Well, fortunately… what, why?”

“yes?”

“No, I want something to look good.”

Is it an illusion?

I got the feeling that Namgoongbia was smiling slightly.

As usual, expressionless… I mean, it just felt like something felt good.

“Nothing happened.”

Namgoongbia answers my question like that.

It definitely looked good to me.

‘Maybe it’s because I was praised.’

I thought I didn’t really care if I said I was pretty.

It seems that I am weaker to praise than I thought.

******************

On the way back to the cabin, Swordsman thought.

‘… What happened?’

It was about the children’s mother.

Gu Yangchun seems to know something.

He was deliberately trying to hide it.

If you dig deeper, you might even show hostility.

That wasn’t what the swordsman wanted.

It was the grace of life, but there was also a sense of guilt for not being able to do anything differently from Gu Ryeong-hwa.

I want my son-in-law to be happy.

It’s something I’ve always thought about from the teacher’s point of view.

By the time I was close to death due to a chronic illness, I just wanted to be happy.

“It’s a law flower.”

At the call of the swordsman, Gu Ryeong-hwa stopped walking.

A smile bloomed on his face as if he was happy just holding hands.

“I heard you said you wouldn’t go back to Sega, is that correct?”

“ah… .”

At the swordsman’s words, Gu Ryeong-hwa’s face instantly becomes dark.

“that… When I said I didn’t want to go, he said I didn’t have to go… .”

“I still have to go back, isn’t it a promise?”

“but… !”

Guryunghwa did not answer.

I know that the post-mortem is healthy. It was like a miracle.

I was able to go for a walk together, which I couldn’t do, and when I had time, I looked after the sword.

It was a dream-like time for Gu Ryeong-hwa.

That’s why it’s more hesitant.

It’s true that I don’t want to go back to Sega, but it’s not all because of that reason.

The first reason was that there was only a handful of time left for Swordsman.

Why come now.

‘… What if something happens while I’m gone?’

It was simply because of an anxious mind.

Geomhu, who noticed that, said while stroking Gu Ryeong-hwa’s head with a friendly hand.

“Don’t worry.”

“Master… .”

“Since you’re so anxious, let’s go together this time.”

“Yeah… ?”

Gu Ryeong-hwa’s face changed strangely because of Geomhu who suddenly said something incomprehensible.

Geomhu laughed out loud as he saw such a commanding call. It wasn’t a lie to comfort her.

she was sincere

“It looks like I’ll have some business to do at Kuga, so let’s go together this time.”

The swordsman is going with you?

It seemed that a question mark could be seen above Gu Ryeong-hwa’s head.