2. clumsiness

Kyunghee was in the living room.

A small prize was spread out and a notebook was open, probably drawing a picture.

He waited for me in that state, then turned off the light and fell asleep for a while.

I guess I didn’t sleep that deeply though, so Kyung-hee woke up and hugged me.

While comforting Kyung-hee, who was just hugging her without saying a word, he turned on the light.

“………uh?”

“Hi-Hi……….”

I tried to comfort her by asking if she was tired, but her eyes were strange.

There was an unknown, faint madness in her pupils.

I instinctively thought it was dangerous, so I tried to push it away, but I was being pushed back by force.

Even though he was obviously pushing it with all his might.

While pushed up to the wall like that, Kyunghee slowly brought her ear to my heart.

then asked

“Who is Hyuna?”

I tried not to answer, but I thought it would be more dangerous not to.

Shaking his head to shake off the unknown anxiety, he thought for a moment before he spoke.

“……Same class.”

“Yes? Can you tell me what the relationship is?”

“We’re just doing group assignments together. One of the members got hurt, so I went to take his place.”

“Siwoo.”

“yes?”

“But why does it smell like alcohol? It seems that you have not only had dinner, but also drank alcohol?”

Kyunghee laughed.

The mouth is smiling as if it is really fun, but the eyes looking at me are cold.

As he was thinking about how to overcome this situation, he saw the vitality in Kyung-hee’s eyes disappear.

Then, Kyung-hee, who was standing with her mouth open in a daze, smiled dejectedly.

It seemed that he misunderstood that Park Hyun-ah and I were talking about something else while drinking.

In reality, we only ate and drank and broke up.

And the smell of alcohol isn’t something I’ve drank to this extent.

So, after saying that he would explain, he immediately took out his cell phone and showed the call list.

Kyunghee carefully read the call list.

Then, I looked at the phone number on which it said Aunt Jinsu, and then put my ear to my chest again.

“What happened to show me this?”

“You know the friend I met the other day? I heard that Park Jin-soo didn’t come. So I went back to school and then came back.”

“What about alcohol?”

“Park Jin-soo drank it. The smell was all over it because I brought it with me.”

“……………………………”

“I can call you and prove the truth if you want.”

Kyunghee nodded.

Then, as if to make a call, he pointed at his cellphone with the tip of his chin.

His face was still placed on my chest.

I called without hesitation.

And not long after, the voice of a middle-aged woman sounded sleepy on the speakerphone.

“Oh, Siwoo.”

“Yes, Auntie. Is Jinsu all right?”

“Yes. I just washed and put it to sleep. Thank you.”

“What? It’s natural since we’re friends. More than that, I’m sorry for calling you so late.”

“No, Jinsu must have called because he was worried. Then I’ll hang up.”

“Yes, good night.”

The phone cut off just like that.

Kyunghee, who had been holding her breath for a while, let out a sigh of relief.

Then he slowly looked at me and smiled.

Then, perhaps realizing that what she had done was excessive, Kyung-hee lowered her head and said,

“I’m sorry… I was reminded of the old days…”

“……Are you thinking about the old days?”

“Years ago my father tried to abandon me to relatives in the country.”

“ah.”

“Even then, after talking to a woman on the phone and leaving, she came back smelling like alcohol…”

“it’s okay.”

“Si-si-woo, I know you’re trying to push me away. Because, you can’t be too big for me.”

“What?”

“I know I want to be able to live without you. But the thought of being abandoned makes me anxious.”

Kyung-hee said with tears in her eyes.

Well, I was just caught out. The only women I could talk to were my family, so I was talking about getting rid of my dependence.

Of course, there was a high chance it wouldn’t work.

But to Kyung-hee, it felt like I was about to abandon myself.

If this was going to happen, it was better not to do it.

So I tried to find another way to talk, but Kyung-hee was silent.

When I slowly lowered my sight, I saw Kyung-hee trembling in my arms.

“I won’t throw it away. And…”

“I’ll try to cure my addiction, too. But, when I think of the old days, I can’t stand it…”

“……………ah.”

It was only now that I could see Kyunghee’s arm properly.

Kyeong-hee’s arm had a lot of bands attached to it.

He hardened his face and asked Kyung-hee with a look on his face what was going on.

Kyung-hee hesitated, then said there was a bug.

“What do you mean worm?”

“…When I was 7 years old. I was confined to solitary confinement. All day long.”

“cell?”

“Yes. It’s a converted warehouse, but it was dirty and dusty and there were bugs.”

“…………………………..”

“I cut off the clinging to my arm, and even if I cut it off, it’s still there…”

“Is that what you saw today?”

“Yeah. I scratched because it was itchy, but when I came to my senses, I saw that my arm was full of scars…”

“Is this what happened today?”

When I pressed on, Kyunghee shook her head.

Then he explained that it had been like this ever since.

He even asked me to sleep with him because he thought he was having nightmares.

The increased expression of affection was also because of the nightmares of the past.

He couldn’t stand it and asked me to hold him or pet him.

Dependence was not the problem, the memory of the past was the problem.

When I thought that I had pushed him away without knowing that, I felt sorry for Kyung-hee.

“It’s okay even if you don’t apologize. I’m grateful that you’ve come this far.”

“yes………..”

“Sorry, I was presumptuous. I’ll sleep first. I’m tired of waiting so long…”

“No, it’s okay. Rather, I didn’t pay attention.”

“……Can I hug you, by any chance?”

Kyung-hee said as if asking a difficult favor.

However, it was not a difficult request at all, so he hugged Kyunghee.

Then, I noticed something strange.

Kyunghee’s ears were up.

So, it’s not that he went up after I hugged him.

It seemed to have gone up a long time ago.

But I don’t know when the heck it was there.

I tried to ignore the feeling of discomfort running up my back.

I didn’t think Kyunghee was cheating on me.

Because Kyunghee is that kind of kid.

He is such a poor kid who always thinks he did something wrong.

You couldn’t try to trick me. Rather, he is a child who is afraid that he may have done something wrong.

Obviously, the ears went up for other reasons.

So, he must have gone up with the certainty that he would not be abandoned.

Thinking that he doubted the suspicious person, he hugged Kyunghee tightly.

Kyunghee laughed as if the world was happy.

Then he fell asleep in my arms.

He slowly lifted her up and put her on the bed, then covered her with a blanket.

Then I tried to close the notebook and stopped.

“rabbit?”

Strange pictures were drawn in the notebook.

No, it wasn’t a strange picture.

Looking closely, it seemed that he was trying to imitate a rabbit’s foot.

I don’t know why I’m drawing it though.

Still, I felt fortunate that I didn’t draw my face.

Perhaps his interest has shifted to rabbits.

I closed the notebook, thinking that I would buy other materials later.

“Oh, I should sleep too.”

The smell of alcohol was badly soaked into his clothes and body from bringing Park Jin-soo.

I probably had to change all of my underwear.

So after taking a deep breath, I went into my room, opened the closet, and picked up my underwear.

I was confused because the number of underwear didn’t seem to match for some reason.

Come to think of it, I think I recently put it out for laundry.

If it wasn’t in the closet, it would be in the laundry basket, so I didn’t have to worry about it.

After showering like that, I threw my clothes in the laundry basket and headed to the living room.

As usual, I threw a pillow on the floor and fell asleep.

Then I woke up with a strange feeling in my sleep.

It was because one arm was heavy, and it was easy to see why.

Kyung-hee was lying on my arm with anxious eyes.

It seemed like he came to me from a nightmare.

Anyway, I had a few more hours today, so Kyung-hee cut and moved her arms comfortably.

Then I closed my eyes again and went to sleep.

Then, when I woke up again, it was 9 o’clock.

When I woke up rubbing my eyes in a daze, the blanket fell from my body.

Under the circumstances, it seemed that Kyung-hee had covered me.

And it smelled delicious too.

It seemed that Kyunghee was cooking in the kitchen.

“Is it fried rice?”

“yes.”

“Oh, that sounds delicious. Ugh, I’m tired.”

After stretching for a while, I took some water from the refrigerator and drank it.

Meanwhile, Kyung-hee was stir-frying fried rice.

Now I’m familiar with cooking, even without my help, it’s been a long time since I’ve been in the middle of a long time.

After watching that, I logged on to the virtual university and looked at the timetable.

Then, I discovered that today’s liberal arts course is a public lecture.

So, if this is a public river…

“You can stay at home all day today.”

“really?”

“Of course I don’t intend to stay at home all day.”

“really……..?”

“Where do you want to go to play to change your mood?”

“great!”

Kyunghee’s ears rang.

I watched it and stroked Kyunghee’s hair.

Yeah, it seemed like it would be nice to have a different approach like this.

What Kyung Hee needs now is not a nightmare of the past, but a memory of the future.

That seemed like a lot better.

Come to think of it, I had heard Kyung-hee say that before.

He wants to sing well. So, I thought it would be nice to go to karaoke.

With that in mind, I put my phone in my pocket.