04. Living together inconveniently (5)

It was only for a while that his hair turned white from the tears of Baek Ji-soo, whom he saw for the first time.

I slowly organized my thoughts with a short sigh.

What kind of world was the future Baek Ji-soo saw?

The world must not have been a good one since it faced the end of destruction.

It was not a sudden destruction caused by a natural disaster such as a meteorite impact, but a world that was slowly headed for destruction due to the secret tactics of devil worshipers and traitors to mankind.

Even in the future before the return, Baek Ji-soo must have struggled to prevent the world from perishing like now.

However, I can’t even imagine what kind of loss she must have suffered in a world that was eventually destroyed by demons.

I don’t even know how I should have accepted that loss.

The only thing that is certain is that Baek Ji-soo has witnessed the betrayal and death of countless people.

In other words, even though she experienced the deaths of so many people, she alone survived.

In fact, I had some idea that she had her own trauma about her demise.

There is something called survivor syndrome.

It refers to the psychological pain experienced by survivors of a major catastrophe. Survivors feel guilty for being the only one who survived or blame themselves for not being able to save them.

Even though it wasn’t their fault.

It’s my guess, but isn’t Baek Ji-soo trying to relieve his guilt by trying to prevent destruction?

Many people would have lost their lives asking Baek Ji-soo to do the following in the midst of destruction.

Please stop the demon instead of me. Please save the world….

All of that must be weighing heavily on her bare shoulders, making her unable to give up.

However, trying to prevent destruction means stepping into a huge risk.

That puts her own life at risk, as well as the lives of her allies like Yoon Seo-hee and me.

“… ….”

If I died, Baek Ji-soo would blame himself for the death.

Because she is too weak to handle the karma of a returner.

To the subject who is always calm and has a rational face, as if he would accept sacrifice casually, his inside is already a mess with guilt and trauma. It can be described as a typical extubate.

‘He’s also very tired.’

If you’re a regressor, you have to be a bit brazen when necessary so that your heart can survive, but Baek Ji-soo’s sense of responsibility was so strong that she was trying to take on all of those deaths herself.

And then, the emotions that I had been holding back and suppressing all this time must have burst out in the end with that single tear.

It wasn’t even a loud cry, it was just a drop of tear shed by chance.

It made me feel very sad.

Are you trying to upset me by telling me that I’m not going to die? How long has it been since you said that, your heart has been pierced….

I wiped the tears from her cheeks with her fingers before I could say anything.

“Ah….”

I still don’t know what she can say to comfort her.

It would have been nice if I was someone someone could rely on and lean on, like my grandfather or Baek Ji-soo’s teacher, but I know very well that I’m not that kind of person. I’m just a seventeen-year-old academy student.

Maybe it’s presumptuous to even think of comforting Baek Ji-soo, who has returned from the future 10 years longer than me.

Nevertheless, I gently brushed her hair like before, so that Baek Ji-soo could feel at ease.

“It’s okay.”

Baek Ji-soo did not avoid my touch.

He just looked at me with reddened eyes.

“Everything I’ve been through. It’s not your fault.”

“… It’s not like that. I asked for something, so-“

“No. It was my choice.”

Even if I’m taken away by the devil and I disappear.

Even if you lose your life to a demon worshiper or a thousand criminals.

I will do my best to prevent that from happening, but even if such a moment comes, I will not resent Baek Ji-soo.

From the moment I spoke in front of Baek Ji-soo and Yoon Seo-hee to prevent destruction together, I was no longer a person who was caught up in the middle of nowhere.

That was my will. Everything I chose

I didn’t want to be a superficial person to the point of putting the responsibility for my choices on Baek Ji-soo.

“Then don’t be too sorry. The results aren’t that bad, are they?”

I don’t know what will happen later, but I didn’t take my body away from the devil right now.

The terrorism was not completely prevented and some sacrifices were made, but it succeeded in stopping the Manchuria and the devil worshipers’ plans. There were also people I saved with my own hands.

As long as I’m alive, I’ll find a way somehow. If it doesn’t work, I think it would be fun to make a seal similar to the three-person sword with my own hands. Because that also evokes the spirit of challenge for craftsmen.

However, Jisoo Baek shook his head as if he still couldn’t understand.

“You did so much… With no strength and incomplete knowledge of the future, I don’t know how to repay your kindness.”

“Do I really have to repay you?”

“… What?”

That’s what you were thinking.

I let out a short sigh and tapped Baek Ji-soo’s white forehead with my fingertips.

Baek Ji-soo, who was suddenly hit on the forehead, looked up at me with a blank expression.

“Don’t think too hard about being in debt or having to repay. We are friends.”

“Friends… ?”

“Yes, my friend.”

We haven’t met for a while, and in the long run, just as Ji-soo Baek received my help, someday I will be helped by Ji-soo Baek. It’s too tiring to put a debt on every single one of those things.

I don’t know because I don’t have any friends yet, but I’m not with Baek Ji-soo hoping for something in return. It’s rather disappointing to think of it all as debt.

“You can ask a little too much for your friends. Because we are friends.”

“… ….”

After I answered that lightly, Baek Ji-soo looked at me with blank eyes without saying anything.

“We… friend?”

“Uh, I thought so….”

Did you ever think we weren’t friends?

Am I the only one who thought they were friendly? If that’s the case, I think you’ll be hurt a little bit.

“I see.”

Baek Ji-soo nodded his head slowly, lowering his eyes, as if he had understood something.

Then he looked at me again and slightly raised the corners of his mouth.

“Thank you.”

“Huh?”

“For telling me that you are my friend. I had many colleagues, but I had never thought of anyone that way….”

A faint smile spread across Baek Ji-soo’s mouth.

Unlike before, it looked much more natural and didn’t look sad anymore.

“It doesn’t feel worse than I thought.”

She got up and grabbed her bag, which she had set down beside her bed.

“It’s hard to understand with just that one word, but if you’re okay with that… I won’t say more now.”

“Are you going already?”

“Yes. You have to yield to those who waited for you to open your eyes.”

Come to think of it, quite a while has passed since I came to my senses.

It must have been past dismissal time already, but the curfew would be pretty tight to get from the hospital back to the dorms.

“Are you really okay? You must be in bad shape, but you can sleep here today.”

Before her, her complexion was pale and she almost collapsed, but it took her heart to let her go like this. There is also a sofa or a bed for guardians in the hospital room, so I can sleep there and let Baek Ji-soo use the bed.

However, upon hearing my words, Baek Ji-su smiled bitterly and shook his head.

“You are the patient. Don’t worry about me You’re not hurt anywhere.”

Baek Ji-soo lightly shook his hand and said goodbye.

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Just before leaving her room, she looked behind her and added her words briefly.

“Binary. It’s not strange to want something in return, even between friends.”

“Huh?”

“So, I’ll think about what I can do as a friend in return. Get some rest… See you later.”

Baek Ji-soo left the hospital room with a soft smile for the last time.

–

It didn’t take long for me to be discharged, as my condition wasn’t serious anyway.

In the meantime, several people have come to visit me.

When my grandfather held my hand and shed endless tears, I was embarrassed and didn’t know what to do.

Surprisingly, Sang-wu Sang-wu and A-ran Im, who fought together at the fair, came to the hospital room knowing how.

“Thank you. Thanks to you, everyone was able to survive.”

Sangwoo Gam led all of his guild members to say thank you.

It was the same with Aran Im.

“Don’t be too sad. Everyone present will remember you.”

She left with her meaningful words, and it was only later that I found out what they meant.

Teacher Songha also came to visit me and told me not to worry about grades and to recover quickly and come back anytime.

And on the day of discharge.

Smart-.

While I was packing my things for the last time before leaving the room, I turned my head when I heard a knock.

“Who are you?”

Today is the day I was discharged from the hospital, and I decided to return home by bus.

I already saw all the people who could come to see me in the hospital. Except for one person.

I waited anxiously until someone opened the door to the hospital room and came in.

An unidentified woman wearing black sunglasses, a mask, and a hat.

But even though her face was covered, I could tell who she was right away from that familiar look.

“Yoon Seo-hee?”

“Hello, Lee Jin-ah.”

Yoon Seo-hee smiled awkwardly as she took off the sunglasses and mask that covered her face.

“Am I really late?”