97 – Things not to be forgotten (3)

Have you ever felt weird sometimes?

Your presence… I mean, things about Raiden and Naru.

Was there really no sense of heterogeneity or awkwardness?

I was able to do things I had never done before,

I was naturally accepting things that were not my feelings…

Hmm~ Looking at the expression, it seems that there is something roughly, right?

OK, that makes the conversation much faster. A lot of unnecessary explanations are omitted.

what? Put away the weird raw food, and continue with what you were talking about?

Don’t worry~ Didn’t I tell you earlier? We’ll tell you anyway, even if you refuse to listen.

Because that’s the role that ‘we’ have been given.

Um… So first of all, let’s start with the story of ‘Possession’.

Somehow, this is the most important part

It can be seen as the most important story among many stories.

I’m only going to tell you once, so roll your head and listen.

The Goddess must have entered Raiden’s body,

You said it was an ‘accident’ stemming from a ‘error’ in the system.

by the way…..

Indeed, was it really just a simple ‘error’ and ‘accident’?

That’s right, think common sense.

A system that has never caused trouble in the last 3000 years,

There’s no way you ‘accidentally’ caused an error just in time for being possessed, right?

If you have a head, do something called thinking.

‘Now that means… Like you said earlier, because I was Raiden’s reincarnation, the system caused an error…?’

Bingo~! It’s because it’s ‘me’, isn’t it stupid?

To be precise, it would be more accurate to say that your soul, reacting to your original body, was instinctively ‘attracted’ to it, rather than saying that the system caused an error…

Well, I’ll give you a passing grade for that.

Simply put, there was nothing wrong with the system in the first place.

The problem was ‘you’.

‘……’

Hmm… Judging from the reaction, I guess I’m still confused.

As expected, I don’t understand what I said at the beginning, ‘Naru is the reincarnation of Raiden’?

This is embarrassing… I can’t accept even such a simple fact.

Think about it, I said it earlier.

The sense of alienation, awkwardness, and déjà vu you felt while living in Raiden’s body…

Think back to all of those things.

Aren’t there too many oddities?

How could you, who had never studied in the past, get good grades on the final exam?

It’s rumored that the difficulty of the academy’s exams is quite difficult.

Have you ever thought that things are so easy to learn when studying?

‘that…..’

And, the same goes for your attitude in everyday life.

In your previous life, you must have grown up isolated from your surroundings and lacking in social skills due to your father’s vicious abuse.

But since you came to this world, have you ever shown yourself like that?

You rather showed a flexible look in conversation with others.

You naturally broadened your human relationships by building friendships with people like Milliam, Coron, and Geum Taeyang.

You have done things that you would never have imagined in your previous life, as if it were natural.

‘That’s right… Because he had an iron mind…’

No, that’s wrong.

Think about it properly, Naruya, the ‘iron mind’ is simply a mental barrier.

Although it can prevent things like trauma and mental disorders, it doesn’t have the effect of creating social skills that weren’t there before.

‘……’

And finally, one of the strangest things.

If you and Raiden are different people…

How can you feel Raiden’s feelings?

The disparate emotions I feel whenever I see people like Ariel or Maharet…

How is it possible to feel those things?

Aren’t those the feelings you should have? It’s what Raiden should have.

‘…That was because of the possession privileges he received when he first entered Raiden’s body.’

Hmm….

‘If you watched me, wouldn’t you know? That I received the perk called ‘synchronization’.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

wrong answer again

Damn, how can I get one wrong…

‘What….?’

Think about it once again.

What exactly was the effect of the possessed perk ‘synchronization’?

‘What was it… That’s right, the effect of me receiving the emotions that Raiden felt in the past…’

That’s right.

The only effect of synchronization was to share the emotions Raiden ‘felt’ in the past.

It’s not that Raiden shares the emotions he feels at the moment.

In a word, the things you have perceived and felt as Raiden’s feelings.

They are all ‘you’ emotions.

Even if all memories are erased due to the process of reincarnation, your soul remembers the traces of the past life that remain weak.

The things you thought were Raiden’s feelings and passed them off were in fact, like the functioning of your emotional organs that your soul, which has lost its memory, spits out reflexively.

‘No… what, what…’

I know, it’s going to be hard to accept…

You will be confused.

Well, don’t worry though.

We’ll stay by your side until you understand.

I told you, ‘we’ exist for that…

So, let’s go over it again.

Until you can understand all of this.

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“……”

It has been more than five hours since I fell into this unrealistic dream space.

Of course, I couldn’t know the exact time because it was in a dream, but it seems that the amount of time I felt was about that much.

“Are you okay? I’m completely lost…”

“Let’s just leave it alone… It seems like you completely understood what we told you.”

“Yes, from now on you will need some time to accept yourself…”

I am sitting on the floor, blankly staring into space.

And then, looking at me like that, making complicated expressions… Two other ‘me’.

“……”

I silently looked at Naru and Raiden, chewing and swallowing the complicated thoughts that popped into my head.

Sometimes I was sick of the regurgitated thoughts inside me,

But that didn’t stop the conscious jaw movement.

I sat there for a while, desperately trying to deny the stories the two boys had told me.

Searching for oddities or loopholes in their stories,

Somehow I tried to prove that the stories were wrong.

—-This is a nonsense story, if your story is correct… that’s a kind of time paradox, isn’t it?

—-It’s true that the time line and the world line are twisted a lot, but that doesn’t mean it’s a time paradox.

—-You were not possessed in the time period where Raiden exists, but in the time period after he died.

—-But… If what you guys are saying is correct, there’s no way the Goddess didn’t know about it…?

—-Actually, we also get caught up in that part… But all the circumstances prove that you are Raiden.

—-You never know… Maybe the Goddess already knew, but didn’t tell you…

But no matter how much you refute and raise questions.

It was my words that offset each time.

In the end, exhausted after endless denial of reality, I spread out on the floor with my eyes closed.

“……”

“Why are you denying our words…?

“Accept it, son of a bitch. If you’re like this, our hard work won’t be worth it.”

The voices of the two boys ringing in my ears.

I laughed at the question as if it were futile.

“Ha ha ha… just accept it…?”

A deep feeling of emptiness flows from the depths of the heart.

“How could I just accept this…if I accept this…”

If all of these stories are true…

“All the hatred, hatred, and misunderstandings I’ve been receiving all this time… I’m going to admit that I’m responsible…”

“……”

“……”

they say

Responsibility for the hatred and hatred that gave me so much pain and suffering,

Responsibility for the vigilance and misunderstandings that almost drove me out of this world,

The truth is that it was all about me.

Things that I thought were unreasonable and unfair.

The fact is that my past, which I do not remember, was due to the mistakes I had committed.

“You saw how hard I suffered for them…”

“……”

“You heard what I said to Rachel and Ariel when I decided to leave this world…”

Ariel, Lucy, and Rachel.

It presents unforgettable and terrible memories to those who remained by the side,

You saw the tears in their eyes…

“I made such a mess… Now that I tell you that I was the cause of it all…”

“……”

“Can I accept that…”

Tears fall from between the burning eyelids.

Wiping the lukewarm solid lines running down my cheeks, I let out a breath soaked in futility.

Bubbling, the air bubbles that flowed out through the exhaled breath elongate and rise toward the surface of the water.

“I resented Raiden so much… that the target of that resentment turned out to be me…”

“……”

“f*ck…”

He spat out curse words and bit his lip.

If you are immersed in wild thoughts for a while and caress the lumps in your heart,

Raiden and Naru, who were standing a little further away, approached me.

“That’s why… I’m going to wake up more.”

“If you’re stretched out like this, nothing’s going to work.”

Two people grabbing my lying body and forcing me to stand up.

I was helplessly held by their hands and stomped on the ground with my stumbling legs.

“Think carefully. Does accepting that you are Raiden mean only that much?”

“…Then, what meaning does it have?”

Naru scratches her head as if frustrated at my question without any malaise.

“Rachel! And those who stayed by your side and loved you like Ariel and Lucy!!”

“……”

“It means that you can fully accept the relationships you have always ignored and pushed away!”

You’re Raiden?!

At Naru’s words, I looked at him with a dumbfounded face for a moment.

love….

People who love me…

As I blankly pondered his words and stood still, this time Raiden reached out to me and opened his mouth.

“I understand you…. Because we are a kind of ‘data’ based on your memories.”

“……”

“Because all the times of pain you’ve been through in your past and present life form us.”

He gave me a soft smile on my face.

“I know, Naruya. It must have been painful, I must have been fed up with life… But, even so, we…”

“……”

“…Even so, we have to move forward. Raiden.”

Naru and Raiden.

Two names calling me,

And the two lives I had to shoulder in the past.

“You said you didn’t want to leave… you muttered thousands of times that you wanted to live, to be happy.”

“……”

“You can never achieve your wish by just running away in fear.”

So hold our hands, Raiden.

I can still make it right.

There are still people who love you by your side.

“……”

I looked for a moment at the hand stretched out in front of me.

The hand of ‘I’, visible in the swaying waves.

As I pondered over the fleeting emotions that filled up in my heart, I grabbed that hand.

ㅡTeouk

“Okay, good choice. Leave it to us from now on.”

“Listen carefully, I’m sorry. I’ll fill in the blanks of memories and emotions that remain in your head. Then…”

“When you open your eyes again, you will be in a state where you have completely accepted that you are Raiden.”

Raiden and Naru reached out their hands one by one and covered my eyes.

Cold yet warm skin touches the skin.

In the midst of naturally closing eyelids, I let out my last breath.

“It’s nothing strange, so there’s no need to be scared. Just, think of it as waking up from a long dream.”

“We’ll count, give it a signal and open your eyes again.”

“Then go slowly…”

one…..

two…

three.

“Remember.”

With the signals of the two boys reaching my ears, I opened my eyes.

After that, consciousness was lost immediately.

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“Keahhhh…! Hhhh..!!”

When I woke up with a dry cough, I was lying on the bed.