89 – broken, scattered, hated (10)

The waves hit.

Quietly, very quietly.

Into the gently swaying sea, someone’s consciousness falls.

And it sinks.

Under….

Under.

Until you reach the bottom where you can no longer sink.

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Just like that, it is swallowed up.

.

.

.

I had a nightmare.

A very terrible and painful nightmare.

It glided past my eyes like an old video tape.

Various scenes brushed my eyes,

Fragmentary scenes are listed one after another.

—-Click, click…

Into the flickering vision, the first scene of the tape begins.

[Naruya, it’s dangerous!!]

[-Kikiiik, bang!]

[Mom….?]

My mother died right in front of my eyes.

I was about to be hit by an oncoming car, but instead of pushing me away, my whole body was crushed.

Red blood splattered clearly at my feet.

—-Click, click…

The second scene begins immediately.

[Sorry, Naruya… Hyung, I’m leaving for a little far away…]

[…It’s a parting gift, but… Take this.]

[So goodbye. Naruya.]

My older brother, who cared for me like a younger brother, left me.

While trying to protect me when I was alone, I got caught up in a malicious incident and lost everything.

After putting the book bag in my teary-eyed hand, I turn my back and leave the locker room.

—-Click, click…

The vision flickers once more, and the third scene begins.

[There is no Lee Ji-hye from today.]

[yes…?]

[They said they committed suicide by jumping from the roof. Tsk, weak bitch. He fell often during training.]

[Wisdom… is your sister?]

For me, the person I could call my first love has died.

It is said that he died on the roof of a building not too far from the kendo hall.

…..I think this was probably because of me too.

—-Click, click…

fourth scene.

[father…..]

[A piece of trash. You are not my son.]

[……]

I was abandoned by my father, who was everything in my life.

The footsteps that looked at me with a cold expression and then left without hesitation.

Looking at those faint footprints, I decided to commit suicide.

—-Click, click…

With the sound of the video tape running inside the player, the fifth scene begins.

This time, it was after I committed suicide and received a second life from the goddess.

[What are you up to these days?]

[If a person who has been having accidents every day is suddenly quiet, isn’t there something ulterior motive?]

[……I will watch over you…]

Even though I obviously didn’t do anything, I was warned and suspicious by someone.

Receiving hostile gazes was too painful.

—-Click, click…

sixth scene.

[What are you doing here, senior?]

[Stop, don’t come closer.]

After successfully stopping the assassination of the first princess, Alan and the children encountered on the way back to the dormitory.

Alan drew his knife and pointed it at me, speaking in a wary voice.

Seeing that reaction, I felt a sense of collapse.

—-Click, click…

seventh scene.

[저기봐, 그 망나니 새끼야…!]

[Mi-crazy… Did you see me at the banquet hall? Did you just laugh while burning people?]

[Ugh… Let’s turn around and go the other way. Something is not right.]

I was reviled by those I had risked my life to protect.

Their whispers faintly reaching my ears soaked my body even more heavily.

I think I was a little tired.

—-Click, click…

As the tape nears its end, the final scene comes to mind in a blur.

[Thumping bang!!]

[Raiden Resit! Open this door right now!!]

[That, that… I think there was a bit of a misunderstanding…]

Misunderstood again.

I took up the sword for someone else, and swung it until my body was completely wrecked for someone else’s sake.

Returning to me was, again, suspicion, vigilance, and hostility.

[…..By the way, what number is this?]

[What the hell… that f*cking misunderstanding, asking how many times already…]

I was exhausted both mentally and physically.

That’s why I said that.

In the end, I couldn’t stop myself from collapsing.

[Oops… Huh, Huh…]

[Ah ah ah ah ah….!!]

I fell down screaming ugly, and fell unconscious with a struggle.

A video tape that was so long came to an end.

The spinning player stops working and spits out old video tapes.

White tape with dark red stains falls to the floor.

A snuff film of unhappiness that you never want to see again, full of despair and pain.

I muttered to myself as I looked at the stumbling thing.

thank god.

Because this is a dream

Because this is just a fragment of a short story that a dream shows.

If you wake up and open your closed eyes, all these dark and sticky things will disappear.

Yes, such unfortunate things.

There’s no way things like this that are so desperate can happen in real life, right?

It’s all a dream, a dream.

I felt a bit of relief in the consciousness that was slowly rising to the surface.

Without realizing that it was the foolish struggle of a young boy trying to cover the sky with his palm.

“Ugh, ugh…”

So, I opened my eyes

“Raiden…?”

“Ra, Mr. Raiden! Are you out of your senses?!”

I faced the scarred reality that I had tried to ignore.

“……”

“Senior? Are you okay…?”

In the blurred vision, five boys and girls looking down at me are reflected.

And after that, the appearance of the room that has become a mess is revealed faintly.

A broken front door and overturned furniture.

Black blood was splattered everywhere, and pieces of bandages were scattered here and there.

All of that gives me a terrible sense of reality.

Could this be a dream too?

A terrible sense of reality, to the point where you can’t even bear the thought of ….

“ah……”

A muffled sound escapes from between parted lips.

The only thing mixed in it was despair, and that alone.

As soon as I realized that all the scenes I saw in my dreams were scenes from my life,

Pains that had been forgotten for a while were awakened again.

A choking thump, a brain crushing headache.

All of those senses pour into me.

“Ah ah ah ah ah….!!”

In pain as if his mind was collapsing, he screamed once again.

And in despair, it collapses.

I felt unreasonable.

That a life full of pain and unhappiness was my share, no one else’s.

That the happiness and love I had so longed for were not given to me.

“Oh ahhhh!

Dark despair spreads into red hatred.

The ugly protruding thorns extend out in all directions.

I hated you flickering in front of my eyes,

I hated the world

I hated it.

“aaa!!”

“Mr. Raiden! Wake up!”

“Senior! My mind is collapsing! You have to hold on!”

My whole body tickled.

Things like pain, sadness, resentment, and hatred are mixed and wriggling.

A terrifying sensation runs through the body.

I wanted to peel all the skin off my body.

He sharpened his nails and brought his hand roughly to his chest.

ㅡPud Deude Deuk!!

A violent hand gesture scrapes the body.

As a result, the bandages wrapped over the chest fall off along with the skin.

Red blood soaks your fingertips.

“Rah, Mr. Raiden!!”

“Damn, stop everyone!! Hold on to your arms! Arms!!”

Disconcerted voices and splashing drops of blood.

In the midst of it, I lost consciousness again in despair.

.

.

.

Even after that, Raiden repeated seizures dozens of times.

“aaa!!!”

“Damn it! Tie it tightly so that the strap doesn’t come loose!!”

“Saintess! Hurry up and use the divine power!!”

He loses consciousness, and when he wakes up, he screams and harms himself.

Then, when he reaches his limit, he loses consciousness again, and when he wakes up, he repeats self-injury.

Dozens of minutes for time to pass like that.

In the end, Raiden was put to bed with both arms tied by the children.

“Ha ha ha… Am I okay now?”

“…..I do not know.”

“……”

When both arms were restrained, Raiden became quiet unlike before when he was violently raging.

He was staring at the ceiling with blank eyes as if he had completely lost his mind.

The children looked down at him, wiping the sweat from their foreheads.

“…..Abby, how is Raiden?”

“Seriously, I’m… my mind is completely down. It’s fortunate that it didn’t break, but…”

At Abby’s hesitant reply, Maharet chewed his lips slightly.

Her gaze was directed to the empty pupils of the boy.

Dark eyes like the abyss in the bottomless pit.

Looking at those empty eyes, something in my heart trembled.

‘Raiden… on earth, what happened to you…’

Maharet muttered a small question to herself and grabbed the hem of her skirt.

A heavy silence falls on her shoulders.

“……”

“……”

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Just like that, when silence once again filled the room.

A bustling sound came from the broken front door.

ㅡRumble! Tuck, Tuck…

Children reacting to the sound coming from the corridor and turning their heads.

“What is it…? I’m sure I’ve put ‘Access Restriction’ barriers all over this hallway…”

“…Someone broke the barrier and came in.”

At Clara’s murmur, the children stiffened their faces and stared in the direction of the sound.

ㅡUdangtang! Tuck, Tuck, Tuck…..

The sound came closer and closer, and then appeared in front of the half-broken front door.

“Raiden!!”

“brother!!”

“young master!!”

Appearing at the door were three girls.

Three girls, each with gold, red and brown hair.

“Ariel… and the first princess…?”

“What, what? Alan, why are you guys here…? My brother?”

Alan, who looks puzzled at the sudden appearance of Lucy and Ariel,

Ariel frowned at Alan.

“You guys, what the hell are you doing in my brother’s room…”

Ariel opened her mouth, raising her ferocity towards the children in the room, but

The question soon dissipated.

“Room, inside… blood…? Blood stains…”

It was because the image of the messy room was reflected in her field of vision.

Her red eyes tremble slightly.

“……What the hell happened here?”

Dumb questions passed through the dark room.