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Transformation or Death chapter 62

62 – memory recovery (8)

Yesterday, Red Vega received shocking news.

It was none other than Han Jaejoong’s past.

Counseling is a secret hidden even in the process of looking deep inside.

“So! That bastard is a piece of trash who got a sense of superiority through his magical girl girlfriend!”

Despite Pink Deneb’s request, White Davich told the story of Han Jaejoong he knew.

“…I see. Thank you, Mr. Davich.”

“It’s okay to call me Haru-chan! Weaver girl!”

Red Vega was distraught and groaned deeply. White Davich, who felt proud of being helpful to her, continued the story in a friendly manner.

“Beware of the weaver girl! Such a psychopath doesn’t change easily! Through counseling, she will dig into the weak heart of the weaver girl, plant roots, and then manipulate you!”

“I… was a counselor…”

“That’s dangerous too! Your weakness will evoke sympathy and make you more connected!”

“No contact… Not even once for several days…”

“That’s too dangerous!!! It’s push and pull! Push and pull! It’s a shady way to make the weaver girl depend on herself!”

It was a story that was hard to believe.

To think that Han Jaejoong was the boyfriend of the famous Blue Sirius.

It was an incident that Red Vega was aware of even when he was still in elementary school and was not close to the Internet.

I remember that there were many stories going on in the TV news.

Even after I got to know him well on the Internet, I didn’t bother looking for Bottlek.

For Red Vega, who has a fan following of most magical girls in the world, Blue Sirius is also a fan favorite.

Occasionally, Aggro and the like brought up the story of ‘that bastard’, but most of the time I just skipped it.

Just as there are few people who dare to pull off the bulge of a celebrity with a favorable image, Blue Sirius was a magical girl with a national crush.

Rather, the image of her as a victim was strong, so if I brought out the love story for no reason, I was noticed in many ways that it would be a secondary offense toward the victim.

That’s why Red Vega knew the outline of the incident and the extent of the existence of ‘that bastard’, but did not know the details. That’s almost 6 years old.

I knew some of the past KakaoTalk messages and the history of school violence, but I did not know the face and name.

But now, thanks to the knowledge that White Davich gave me, I succeeded in succeeding Han Jae-joong and his ferocious boyfriend in his dating history.

“…Really… Jaejoong…?”

“Hey, weavers have already been gaslighted… It’s okay, weavers! There are many men in the world! You can pick and eat as long as you like her face and status…”

“It’s not like that.”

He responded coldly, but White Davich was still cheerful.

“Ms. Jiknyeo! Meet a better man! This type of gaslighting and violence is not allowed!!!”

Red Vega did not welcome such adjectives as the scarlet letter that succeeded Han Jaejoong. could not be accepted satisfactorily. It was uncomfortable.

“Th-but he’s violent in front of me… uh, look, I can’t see…”

I could not deny it right away because I had a clue. Red Vega rubbed her stomach with her hand. It was a habit he developed to make fun of him when he was hospitalized.

“Ah, I didn’t see it anyway!”

“Mr. Weaver. Even those famous old slayers were warm around them! Ningen (humans) are ambivalent!

Startle. Red Vega’s shoulders trembled. He as a watcher came to mind.

However, he shook his head and denied such delusions.

“Ningen are all devils! Akuma (demons) with angel wings! Hey, didn’t I just say something cool?! Boku (me), kakkoii (cool)!!!”

If what Jaejoong Han did is true, that gossip is reasonable. But if it’s false…

The excitement shown by Pink Deneb makes it known that something happened in the past love affair.

That what is revealed to the public is not the truth.

Red Vega made up its mind.

Let’s stay neutral until Pink Deneb returns today and explains the situation.

‘If what he did was true…’

What should I do? how to deal with him No, that’s not the problem. Blue Sirius. A kind sister who took care of herself a lot. How should I look at her?

‘Deneb told me not to tell Sirius…’

I haven’t deeply understood the circumstances yet, but I have a feeling why he said that. It would be confusing if a lover who had such a complicated affair went to suicide counseling.

At the same time, I wondered if it was morally correct not to tell her that the person I had the most connection with was Blue Sirius.

In the end, it was a question without an answer.

In this case, it is convenient to do as you are told.

“Jiknyeo-san, don’t be too sad. Tomodachi (friend) who is irreplaceable to Jiknyeo-san… I have it!”

Red Vega hoped that Pink Deneb would come back soon and explain the situation.

And now, she is standing here in front of Han Jaejoong.

The reason is simple.

It was because I hadn’t heard any explanation from Pink Deneb. She needed a break after a series of fierce battles. you wanted that

I apologized and said I’d tell you later.

The burning of curiosity faded away. It was frustrating and I couldn’t stand it.

So, she decided to visit Han Jaejoong’s house here.

It’s about the address because it’s written on the consultation questionnaire!


“Are you sure it’s settled in your heart? Then I’ll settle down at home.”

“Your behavior is not nice. I feel bad feelings in my heart as well. It’s not polite to come home without saying anything.”

They naturally tried to enter the house, so they blocked the gap with their arms to prevent intrusion.

Red Vega tilted her head. It sounded like he was protesting what nonsense he was talking about.

“Is it between us?”

“Uh huh, don’t let go.”

“Oh, that’s how it’ll come out, right?”

He grabbed the arm with both hands on the wall and brought it to his stomach. The body temperature faintly felt through the thick cloth.

“…Really, won’t you let me in?”

I desperately shut my mouth when I was about to ask how long I was going to worry about this. It’s my karma, so I’ll just take it sweetly.


The hands holding the arms moved up, down, left and right little by little and quickly. At the same time, they brought their bodies closer. The coat was wrinkled by my hand.

When I tried to put my hand through the gap in my coat, I quickly pulled my arm out.

“Uh huh. I’m not kidding adults.”

“Now I’m an adult in a month, so what?”

“I’m not looking for you because I’m going to die someday. I’m just a kid now.”

At those words, Red Vega raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. That’s right. He’s a kid now.”

Then, like a villain revealing his identity in a cartoon, he laughed and grabbed the hem of his coat.

“Do you know what’s inside this coat?”

“What is it? Did you wear a crop top? It must be cold in this weather.”

“No. Are you a pervert, Jaejoong? Didn’t you sexually harass Sirius unnie like that? You shouldn’t have.”

It’s because I saw myself wearing a cold stomach in the original work… It’s really sad that these concerns are treated as simple sexual harassment.

By the time this sadness passed down her neck, Red Vega unbuttoned one of the top buttons of her coat. He tilted his upper body forward and opened the gap with his hand, allowing his eyes to see the clothes inside.

“…I’m wearing a school uniform.”

“Ah, yes. It’s a wholesome outfit for your age.”

What do you mean?

“If I continue to refuse now, I will take off my coat and cry in front of the door. If you don’t want to be seen arguing with a high school girl in winter…”

“You come inside like a comet.”

I was immediately brought into the foyer. No matter how strange it is, there are only weird guys in the monster haunting area, but I don’t want to be stigmatized as being even weirder by those weird guys.

Even more so being branded as a pervert.

“Hmm… Pretty… It’s a vintage room! It has a sense of security!”

“Just don’t comment on the room.”

“Why? This is the room where I lived until then.”

As she looked around the room, she was startled by the bloodstains in the room.


“It’s my blood, don’t mind it.”

“Phew, I thought she was a fan of a few generations because she brought in another magical girl besides me~ I almost got jealous!”

“Why would you be jealous of that…”

“Because there will be another person who has a weakness other than me!”

“You don’t hide your increasingly shady desires, but reveal them. Isn’t that the case with your fellow magical girls? You shouldn’t.”

He returned the sarcasm he had just heard.

“By the way, there’s no such thing as tea. Only water…”

“It’s okay! I bought it!”

Red Vega laughed and took out powdered cocoa from the bag.

“That’s very thorough. Give me. I’ll boil it right away.”

Filling the kettle with water, I glanced sideways at Red Vega. Trying to take off the coat but get hit by the cold air without any heating and put it back together.

It was both absurd and cute, so I laughed. At first glance, the school uniform was a normal blazer with a shirt and tie.

Old thoughts came to my mind about the school uniform I hadn’t seen in a long time.

Seolhwa was so pretty at that time.

I wanted to stay with you at least until the graduation ceremony.

In the end, high school graduation was obtained through the GED.

I wanted to trace many memories, but they only existed. As I dreamed of a puzzle with only lines left without pictures and was saddened by this, I heard the sound of boiling water from the kettle.

beep profit. It sounds like tinnitus.

I opened my swollen lips while making cocoa in a cup.

“Are you curious about my old story? About when I dated Seol-hwa?”

“Yes? Yes, four! That’s right… Jae-Jaejoong-ssi just harassed and abused Sirius unnie in the past… Oh, he’s a very bad guy…”

“Did you hear that?”

I smiled hahahaha and put the cocoa in front of her.

“You said it right.”

“Yes Yes?!”

“If it’s a diving breakup, he’s a bad enough guy.”

Just put hot water in front of me.

“Then let me explain. What happened.”


He calmly revealed the truth about his love affair.

The action he took for Blue Sirius, who was suffering from an incident.

A fabricated article, a thing that disappeared.

With a contemplative attitude, as if reading a book, he told the truth in a calm but deep voice. The story ended when the hour hand at 11 moved to 12.

Red Vega quietly chewed on the truth he had revealed.

“It was really… hard.”

“If I were struggling, how hard would it have been?

I realized the gap between the image of Han Jaejoong I had seen so far and the image of Han Jaejoong I had heard of in the past through the mouth of others.

It was made to look that way in the first place. It was thoroughly sculpted to look like a bad guy so that someone could see and stop swearing.

Truth has been polished and colored in marble and made into splendid sculptures to cheat the eye.

Also, I realized why this truth was not revealed until now.

If one of the people who knows this truth reveals it, it will be embroiled in a fabrication controversy and will soon be revealed.

But the problem stems from why this manipulation was done.

Blue Sirius’ favoritism controversy was the beginning of all these incidents. If she sided with Jaejoong again for no reason, the controversy over favoritism would only intensify and become more difficult.

It’s not about ending the pain, it’s about continuing it.

Moreover, this is an act that reverses his decision to nothing and insults both Blue Sirius and Han Jaejoong at the same time. It will even bring attention back to him, who is reluctant to look at others, and give him pain that cannot be expressed in words.

‘And if Sirius had unnie’s personality… He probably didn’t look for it on purpose because he thought that Jaejoong-sshi was having a hard time because of him.’

For a while, he must have wanted to give Han Jaejoong time to deal with the pain. He must have thought that part of the reason he left was that he had offended him.

“…Can I ask you one more question?”

“What is it?”

“Why… didn’t you go back? If we broke up like that, neither Jaejoong-sshi nor unnie would feel… uncomfortable.”

It’s just that he doesn’t know, but Blue Sirius may still be having a hard time. Red Vega asked cautiously.

“I will. Why?”

His voice changed slightly. Unlike the calming moment before, there was a bit of saltiness and sadness like the sea breeze.

“…It’s already this time. You should have lunch. Now, slowly…”

“Ah, yes, yes! That’s right, I know a good restaurant and I’ll take you there!”

“Ah… that’s…”

Jaejoong Han smiled bitterly.

“I don’t think we can eat together. I have work from now on.”

“What happened to the person who slept until 11!”

“Yes, that’s right. Actually, it’s because I want to rest. Besides, I haven’t washed yet, and I need some time to prepare myself to go outside. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, Vega. The smell of sweat has soaked into my body since yesterday. Vega-san is also unpleasant. Do you? I’m sorry, I’m a little distracted.”

“Jae-jaejoong, don’t you smell? Maybe…? Ah, I’ll take a look at it.”

“No, I don’t even need to…”

For a moment, her face was close. Han Jaejoong was frightened for a moment and pulled away.

“I-I smell sweat too! …Would you like to smell it?”

Red Vega grinned and stomped on his leg with her foot. Gradually, the foot began to creep up the leg and creep up onto the boat.

“Please, Mr. Vega, please don’t talk bullshit… No, please.”

“Why did you fix it? And don’t ignore my warm consideration to let you know that everyone has body odor!”

“It’s not warm consideration, it’s hot sadism. Don’t stick out your stinky feet. Ehehehehe, get rid of it! Anyway, have lunch with your colleagues.”

It was Red Vega, which gradually got used to teasing Han Jaejoong.

“I want to rest now.”

He quietly declined the offer. It was soft, but firm.

Red Vega, knowing that he wouldn’t back down even if he brought a pear to his face at times like this (he learned it while riding a line while hospitalized), showed a pout as if he couldn’t help it and withdrew.

“Heh, it’s a very delicious place. It’s not particularly famous, so it’s a hidden restaurant that doesn’t come up often even when you search. It has a nice atmosphere and good plating.”

“That must be so much fun. Please enjoy it instead of me.”

“I won’t beg you to take me later. I only have it now.”

“Don’t do this in a dirty way. Don’t try to get the pleasure of consumption, the pleasure of service, and the pleasure of the enemy through me. Just go over there… just go out.”

He gestured gracefully and pointed to the front door. Baek Ah-hee, who eventually gave up, sighed deeply and stood up.

“Okay. He said he spilled blood… Oh right, can I treat you? I’m good at first aid. Come on, take off your top quickly.”

“Go away.”


She smiled briskly at the resolute declaration, and then bowed her head.

“It must have been hard to say, but thank you for saying it. If you want to reconcile, always contact me! No, even if you don’t feel like anything, call me!”

“If you think of it as an extension of counseling, it’s not that difficult. Contacting… let’s actively consider it.”

In fact, he is under a certain amount of stress even on the phone. phone phobia He waved his hand, promising to let me know if there is a chance to meet later.

He heard the rattle of rusty hinges, and he was left alone in the room, quietly staring somewhere.

It was a belt that floated around him in the form of a sphere. It sent a piece of information to the head over and over again.

[Go to that location.]


It was a quest.

A quest that tells you to go to that location and make contact with someone.

The location was transmitted in the form of a map. A place painted only black. A land designated as uninhabitable by humans, now abandoned.

inaccessible space. marginalized areas.

Also known as Dark Matter.

I touched the pink Deneb’s memo that I had folded in my pocket.

“I have to… call.”

I have to reassure you that you are safe now, I have to give you reassurance.

The medium of telephone was still reluctant. Jo Ah-yoon’s voice, which she had shouted yesterday, rang in her head.

Eventually, I turned on my phone, left a few text messages, and turned it off again.

It would be better to talk about it again after knowing the truth more deeply.

As Virgo said, oblivion is madness.

The current Han Jaejoong must be a person who is more crazy than anyone else.

He immediately washed himself, bandaged his wounds, and put on clean clothes.

It was similar to ablution to purify denial.


It was dark here even when the sun was up. Tall skyscrapers collapsed and connected streets to streets like overpasses. A huge shadow was overlaid on those beneath it.

The monster in the shepherd’s seat looked up. The broken windows diffused the sunlight and scattered the light like a kaleidoscope.

“When are you coming…”

She drew an arc with her fine lips under the hood, and swung her legs wrapped in wide robes.

“When will the blind lamb come…”

They hummed happily and sublimated the time of patience sweetly.

Holding the buckle of his belt in one hand, he waited patiently for someone to come.


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