Episode 75 – Ninja, Turtle, Crocodile

I had nothing to do, so I decided to take a walk in the garden inside the imperial palace. Did I mention that the palace is open to those invited? It was pretty neat and quiet for that. Personally, I don’t like being exposed to sunlight, but the sunlight I receive while taking a walk in a place like this is an exception. That’s right, I was the son of Surya, the sun god.

While walking in the garden under the protection of Surya, the sun god, he saw Lorsha. I was looking at the flowers without knowing that I had come around. I, the son of the sun god, couldn’t stand mischief.

“What are you doing there, Lorsha Magic Tower?”

Lorsha looked back in amazement.

“Oh, you’re surprised! You’re surprised! No, show some signs!”

“Oh sorry, it’s a habit…”

It seemed that the old habit came out without my knowledge, fighting with those cubs yesterday. Fucking communist bastards, I’m even eating kusari from Lorsha because of them. After all, white sea useless bastards, the next time we meet, we will make it not a super red mask, but an ultra red mask. It means to tear your body in half.

“So what were you doing here?”

I wondered why she, the owner of the mage tower, suddenly came to the garden in the imperial palace to see the flowers. Have you buried any treasure here? Why are there not too many cases of hiding treasures in gardens like this after watching those movies?

What treasures could be hidden in a place like this? Sulfuras? Knight King’s scabbard? What the fuck is it? Couldn’t it be Hitler’s gold bar? No, when I thought about it, it was a story with enough possibilities. If you see there are neo-Nazi bastards throwing discrimination insults at me here. Couldn’t it be that the Nazis transported Hitler’s gold bars to this other world? I just had to be suspicious.

“Did you bury anything here?”

“…Ah, isn’t it?”

Judging from the reaction, it turns out that Hitler’s bullion was right. However, no matter how stolen the neo-Nazi bastards are, the ownership belongs to the discoverer, Lorsha. I had no intention of going to a mud fight claiming ownership of stolen property that someone else had acquired.

“Yes, if you are, then so be it.”

“I never buried anything, so don’t misunderstand! And don’t bring that up to anyone! Okay?!”

“Yeah, I didn’t tell anyone.”

I can hide the fact that you’re hiding Hitler’s gold bullion. As a friend.

“Ah, by the way, I have something to pass on to you.”

“thing?”

Are you thinking of giving me a gold bar for silence? I am the son of the sun god and heir to the Allied Forces to annihilate the Nazis. Two gold ingots might be enough, but he’s not a great person to go over with just one gold bar. If Lorsha tries to bribe like some cowardly Nazi bastard, in the name of love and justice, my Jeet Kune Do will not forgive her.

“Now, this is the first thing that came down to you.”

Instead of a gold bar, she handed me an order with the details of the job written on it. Fortunately, it wasn’t bribery… but I felt strangely dirty. No, I wouldn’t have been so annoyed if it was bribery, but should I just throw a punch?

When I checked the contents of the order, this was written.

[To the Imperial Wizard Werner.]

Be damned hard. If you use it comfortably and softly, will the thorns grow in your mouth?

[Recently, the number of accidents in which children are frequently kidnapped is rapidly increasing in the capital.]

Hmmm fuckin’, how can innocent children suffer when the public security is messed up? It’s not something to argue with me, it’s like a question to open the joint of the capital guard bastards? Yeah, you bastards, you said how much you messed up your work, the number of kidnapping cases has increased lately. Those bastards must be drinking with women at night…

[So, we recently increased the number of guards and training and put them on patrol, but yesterday four guards were found dead.]

Ah, young guards, I, Werner, believe in you. There were people who sacrificed their lives for security and the people. If anyone tries to tarnish their honor, my Jeet Kune will not forgive them. Right after a river blow, I’ll judge those bastards with a one inch punch to the stomach and a high kick combo to the temple. How can a bastard in the world be such a bastard to curse those who dare to fight for their country?

[Therefore, I would like to entrust you with the investigation and resolution of this matter. If you need anything for your activities, make a separate request to Knight Commander Ricardo.]

That was the end of the letter. In short, the number of kidnapping cases has increased recently and it seems impossible to solve them with the strength of the guards, so I will take care of them in time. These bastards, the guards should finish their job at the guards. Honestly, even those who died while on patrol would hope that the guards they belonged to would solve it. You wouldn’t want to entrust the job to a grand wizard who suddenly rolled in.

Besides, this is the fucking end. If it’s a game, give it fucking experience, give it money, or at least give it an item. Where is this absurd quest? This was to catch a real quest design and feed the capitalist punch on the face.

“Who the fuck gave orders like this…”

“It’s an order approved by His Majesty the Emperor. If you get caught talking nonsense, you’ll be decapitated?”

It’s like a fucking monarchy.

“In a place where there are no things, even His Majesty the Emperor can curse, damn…”

“Yeah, if this is a back alley bar, it’s okay, but this is the garden of the imperial palace, you stupid idiot.”

oh shit it was Even so, I don’t think it’s a bit much to curse at the landlord in someone else’s garden. I must deeply reflect. The difference between humans and beasts is that they know how to reflect. Look at my shining personality that nods and accepts when I point out a mistake. I am an Arhat, a saint who has renounced all kinds of anxieties, attained enlightenment, and attained merit.

“By the way, Lorsha Matapju, don’t you know anything about the kidnapping cases that have been soaring recently?”

“Well, I only know that the number of kidnapping cases has increased, but I don’t know the details. But it smells strange.”

Did you just wash your hands properly after going to the bathroom? I, the guardian deity of cleanliness, smells like me? Even if there was, it would be very weak. You should have recognized Lorsha’s hair when it was slightly blue. Lorsha certainly had that blue hair, had a great sense of smell, and was unmistakably descended from a gourmet who could fly forks and knives and hammer nails. So even my weak smell…

“The Black Round Table.”

Oh, that’s the story of those bastards.

“Anyway, a direct connection with them… No, even if not directly, I think it has something to do with it.”

Where are those Communist bastards? Due to the nature of the Communist rats, I began to suspect that they might be hiding in tunnels. Okay, let’s find the fucking tunnel.

“Lorsha Magic Tower Is there a tunnel in the capital here?”

“No, there’s no way there’s such a thing. Oh, if it’s a sewer system, it does exist.”

All that’s in the sewers are crocodiles, and Communist bastards couldn’t live in such a place. If so, where are these communist bastards hiding…

“Come to think of it, there are rumors that strange noises can be heard from the sewers these days.”

“That’s because of the crocodile, crocodile.”

“Why do crocodiles live in the sewer, you madman!”

He’s denying the natural ecosystem again. Isn’t it kind of common knowledge that alligators live in sewers? It must be because he only studied magic, but his common sense in the field of biology was insufficient.

“Ah… if it’s not a crocodile, it might be a turtle.”

“Why are turtles appearing again, you crazy bastard!”

Is he ignoring the ecosystem again? Isn’t it common sense that there are crocodiles in the sewers, turtles that do ninja work, and rats that teach them? Apparently, the wizards in this world only study magic and neglect other studies.

Eh, in order to reach the end of true learning, you have to polish and polish it regardless of any discipline. I expressed my sincere concern for their patheticness.

“It’s common knowledge that turtles and crocodiles live in the sewers, Lorsha Magic Tower.”

“Common sense sucks! Why are alligators and turtles there in the first place!!!”

Lorsha started screaming that she was hoarse now. It’s rude to shout at someone’s house.

“Lorsha, it’s not polite to lower your voice.”

“Who am I getting angry at right now?”

Hey, did you cook the meat by boiling the train fire? It’s noisy.

Then, a voice came from afar.

“His Highness the Crown Prince is coming!”

Look, since Lorsha is stupid and noisy, isn’t the crown prince coming too?

But wouldn’t it be a prank if the prince came? Everything looks ruined because of Lorsha, who is like a child.